The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by steamer

ya man, nvr marry a ger who is not willing to take the bus with u.

ur words does make sense..but i dunno how easy is it to find someone like tat now...

[tanhockgin]

All Bros,

Listen up and listen well.

Before we foolishly go buy roses or LV handbags or GA clothes for your supposedly love ones, for whatever ocassion, buy her this first:

A book called: The surrendered wife by laura doyle.

It teaches a wife to submit to her husband and surrender everything to the husband.

At last someone (a lady) who is actually smart enough to see what is going wrong and woke up to make things rite.

[_AXL_]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

hope u will find the one u deserve..sometimes letting go is the hardest thing to do bcoz at least by holdin on..u still hv some memories, once u let go..there is nothing left..but still i wan to share a line here with u n other bros..if u neva let go, how can u ever welcome the One when you finally meet her?

hope so too. but letting go is so easy to say, but hard for me to do. let go of many things, my dreams, $, sometimes pride at work, etc. things that r dear to me. but letting her go, i just couldnt do it. time will numb all pain??? to me, that's bullshit. after 11 yrs, it's still not getting any easier. yes, i m weak. yes, i gambled on the relationship and lost everything. but the whole idea of working so hard is that to share it with someone who really appreciates the happiness and troubles in our lives. so far, i havent met anyone like her, who could share everything with me. to me, the ONE has already come and gone, the other ONE died in the MATRIX. i accept that i have to settle for second best, hopefully not too bad.

oh bro deztruct, i like that song by tanya chua too, the one in yr signature that is. there's this ktv girl whom i always call to sit at my table cos she can sing that song damn well. cheers...

[dom01]

Combined income of 8 k is peanuts? Wha... I am just an average joe..

[linnaohia1]

Originally Posted by GhostRay

Agree totally. I got a friend who act rich to impress gals & friends. In the end, end up borrow from friend, bank, company to keep up the rich front. Now he is holding 2 jobs to repay all the loans & up end up no gal & cannot hold up his head in front of friends & relatives.

liddat also can .....

[linnaohia1]

Originally Posted by jng1103

However, lets not forget the contributions of the average joe, because without them, who will marry Ugly Betty?

jimbo

Well said bro, it takes all kind to make the world go round .....
Take a walk along alond crowded malls, all kinds of combination couple ..

[linnaohia1]

Originally Posted by steamer

ya man, nvr marry a ger who is not willing to take the bus with u.

Haha, liddat u also hv to take bus leh ..... u can meh .....

[jintulan]

Originally Posted by surfer888

Partly economical. Partly sensible.
...What I failed to realize at that point is that Love is not a science... no matter what they say of pheromones and anandamide... its just not correct to measure the chemistry.

couldn't agree more.
the majority of us make these calculations at an age when our "calculator" has no functionalities to handle life's complexities. The fact that love is not a science only adds on more uncontrolled variables.
some of us develop some useful functionalities in our calculator as we age.
past decisions bring about consequences along the way, we can but manage them as we go along.
Unfortunately, we are often more adept at screwing things up and making matters worse... we are humans after all.
what to do????

[steamer]

Originally Posted by linnaohia1

Haha, liddat u also hv to take bus leh ..... u can meh .....

my oc n I used to take bus during pak tor days leh; if she had insisted i hv wheels then, i probably go look for someone else
btw tat time i oredi working hor.

[steamer]

[QUOTE=_AXL_;1915353]hope so too. but letting go is so easy to say, but hard for me to do. let go of many things, my dreams, $, sometimes pride at work, etc. things that r dear to me. but letting her go, i just couldnt do it. time will numb all pain??? to me, that's bullshit. after 11 yrs, it's still not getting any easier. yes, i m weak. yes, i gambled on the relationship and lost everything. but the whole idea of working so hard is that to share it with someone who really appreciates the happiness and troubles in our lives. so far, i havent met anyone like her, who could share everything with me. to me, the ONE has already come and gone, the other ONE died in the MATRIX. i accept that i have to settle for second best, hopefully not too bad.

bro, my humble opinion...to let her go u urself must be determined to do so and actively work towards tat. u must accept the past and not dwell on it. U cant juz leave it to time alone. If u truly love her, be happi for her n move on; its not like finding someone like her, its more like finding someone diff this time.
sorry dun mean to offend bro, i knw i cant feel ur pain. All the best. we shud always give ourselves another chance.

[LaiKe]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

letting go is so easy to say, but hard for me to do. let go of many things, my dreams, $, sometimes pride at work, etc. things that r dear to me. but letting her go, i just couldnt do it. time will numb all pain??? to me, that's bullshit. after 11 yrs, it's still not getting any easier. yes, i m weak. yes, i gambled on the relationship and lost everything. but the whole idea of working so hard is that to share it with someone who really appreciates the happiness and troubles in our lives.....

To forgive some one is very simple.... just look straight into the person's eyes and say " I forgive you".

To let go someone is not that difficult... filled you lonely heart with someone else and make sure you ask your heart this time you really found the right one.

I have been wearing the wedding ring given by ex-wife for 3 years after divorce. Until i met the right one and i put the ring onto her hand at the Great Wall of China and asked her to throw away into the mountains. From that day onwards my momeries towards my ex start to erase bit by bit everyday. Now if you ask me how my ex look like or whether can i recognise her if i pass by her.... i am not sure... i think i probably still can but.........

Never say never.

[_AXL_]

bro steamer and bro laike, 1st of all, i have moved on in terms of relationships cos i had a few of them after THE ONE. can actually be with someone else but still thinking of her everyday. no wonder all my relationships go up in flames.

have to clarify that i was mostly in the wrong when we broke up cos my temper was quite bad and emotionally very agressive then. now living to regret it. will move on, but never forget. no need to forgive her cos there was nothing to forgive. sad to say that i know that she is not having better luck in finding her better half. but the prospect of us back together is just too impossible due to the numerous skeletons in both our closets. i sincerely wish she could be happy and dont think she will feel it if she is with me again. just too much history to begin with.

so bro steamer, no offence taken anyway and since u cant feel my pain, i wish u never have to. bro laike, glad u moved on. but which part of the wall u threw from and is the ring very expensive??? can sell one u know?? just kidding. good luck to all bros here...

but just on hindsight, instead of complaining about women here, how about spending more time with yr loved ones instead??? it seems my last few relationships ended bcos i had too little time for them due to my work commitments. or even take some time to plan something to show u guys care about them. some women might not say it, but they would appreciate our goodwill, regardless how primitive we r perceived to be.

but no offence to bro tanhockgin, yr surrendered wife book, did u read it before recommending? cos i read it on the flight back to sg a couple of weeks ago... it was in the airport dustbin, but then again, it is just my personal view. just felt that it is too demeaning. women r smart, u know?

[_AXL_]

bro steamer and bro laike, 1st of all, i have moved on in terms of relationships cos i had a few of them after THE ONE. can actually be with someone else but still thinking of her everyday. no wonder all my relationships go up in flames.

have to clarify that i was mostly in the wrong when we broke up cos my temper was quite bad and emotionally very agressive then. now living to regret it. will move on, but never forget. no need to forgive her cos there was nothing to forgive. sad to say that i know that she is not having better luck in finding her better half. but the prospect of us back together is just too impossible due to the numerous skeletons in both our closets. i sincerely wish she could be happy and dont think she will feel it if she is with me again. just too much history to begin with.

so bro steamer, no offence taken anyway and since u cant feel my pain, i wish u never have to. bro laike, glad u moved on. but which part of the wall u threw from and is the ring very expensive??? can sell one u know?? just kidding. good luck to all bros here...

but just on hindsight, instead of complaining about women here, how about spending more time with yr loved ones instead??? it seems my last few relationships ended bcos i had too little time for them due to my work commitments. or even take some time to plan something to show u guys care about them. some women might not say it, but they would appreciate our goodwill, regardless how primitive we r perceived to be.

but no offence to bro tanhockgin, yr surrendered wife book, did u read it before recommending? cos i read it on the flight back to sg a couple of weeks ago... it was in the airport dustbin, but then again, it is just my personal view. just felt that it is too demeaning. women r smart, u know?

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by _AXL_

after reading the posts here, i also have the feeling that sg girls r being portrayed as the devil incarnate. i have seen many who r materialistic, too many to count. but i have also seen quite a number who would lay down their lives and $ for their loved ones. i think it all boils down to both nature and nurture.

How many good girls are there? I was done with work at about 10pm and was at the petrol kiosk. I saw this girl queueing at the atm. She has this very sweet smile. The sort of girl that you see in class and would just want to say hi to her.

The painful reality again is that not everyone is lucky to be with a caring gf (who would eventually settle with you). The only good girl is my mum. When I sick, she get me panadol. The rest of those bitches I spent money on, don't know where the F they go.

Originally Posted by _AXL_

i have just broken off recently, with a girl whom i started off by taking the bus with her, cos i just came back to sg. then i bought a car and let her use it whenever i have to leave town due to work commitments. but she ended up with another guy and even paid for his car instalments when he was having cash flow problems!!! all these despite the guy is married with a child. if it were me, i would have loved a woman till death who would help with my financial problems. but did break off with her immediately after i knew about her infidelity. my loss is another man's gain. oh, by the way, she is not sg but a m'sian.

Well, thats what happens when one is too caring. When we don't care, the girls complain. wtf.

Originally Posted by _AXL_

i have also seen my sg female colleague take out her life savings to help her bf with his betting debts after he promised her to quit 2 years ago. he did n he repaid every single cent since then. they r preparing for the wedding now. my colleague is quite a looker, smart, makes lots of $ and has no lack of rich suitors. but she stuck with her guy when it was easier for her to go out and find another guy.

Thats the sad thing which will never happen to those of us here. I have no lack of cash to pamper a gal. But, its this type of gal (who is selfless) that deserves to be pampered. The other blardy bitches.... only come for free lunches.

Originally Posted by _AXL_

guess it is just luck and not the nationality of the girl we r in love with but their values. i certainly dont have that kind of luck. the love of my life left me 11 years back n there is not a day that goes by that i dont think of her. occasionally, i still swing by her office building just hopeful that i might catch a glimpse of her.

And, probably fate too. I sometimes wish I'm born some few hundred years ago, where people are much simpler, though the threat of fearsome disease and war were much more real. At least, people of the ancient times were much more easier to understand, where peace and contentment meant more than anything else.

At times, when I come across a prc who looks like a certain friend, I would have this... temptation of paying her to be my gf just for a day. Don't need to go to bed, but just pretend. Its sad. The tragedy of it all, but still have to be thankful that I am healthy and do not have to beg.

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by jintulan

couldn't agree more.
the majority of us make these calculations at an age when our "calculator" has no functionalities to handle life's complexities. The fact that love is not a science only adds on more uncontrolled variables.
some of us develop some useful functionalities in our calculator as we age.
past decisions bring about consequences along the way, we can but manage them as we go along.
Unfortunately, we are often more adept at screwing things up and making matters worse... we are humans after all.
what to do????

We all screw up at the most unbelievable timings. Even buy 4D also not so "lucky".

Perhaps, its easier not to find that someone who reciprocates.... I just find it tempting to go to a foreign wife matchmaking agency tomorrow and find someone that I can lavish all my emotions on. Just develop that love for that someone. Don't need her to reciprocate.

What is human is that we know.
What is human is that we can't choose what we desire.
What we desire is never really a choice.
Fate never gave everyone a chance to choose, until its too late.
But, within our hands, perhaps lies the power to make tomorrow be a better day.
I left everyone quietly, with a heart filled with tears and a hope that it would be easier to swallow all the bitterness silently.