Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 563

Ahgongpark · #**8431** 04-03-2018, 04:17 PM

Very nice, thanks

diuyen · #**8432** 04-03-2018, 08:15 PM

Great contribution of jokes by bro bigbirdbird and all

JJMagic · #**8433** 05-03-2018, 07:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by S.B.Y.1

hahaha.. good one Pak.

starbuck · #**8434** 05-03-2018, 11:48 AM

A cockroach's last word to a man who wanted to kill him :

" Go ahead and kill me , you coward. You are just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot "

woof8wang · #**8435** 07-03-2018, 10:51 AM

Thanks for the jokes.

8ah8ah8ah · #**8436** 07-03-2018, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck

A cockroach's last word to a man who wanted to kill him :

" Go ahead and kill me , you coward. You are just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot "

Great joke,bro.

hondu · #**8437** 07-03-2018, 06:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starbuck

A cockroach's last word to a man who wanted to kill him :

" Go ahead and kill me , you coward. You are just jealous because I can scare your wife and you cannot "

Nice joke bro, thanks.

IRASshytomast · #**8438** 07-03-2018, 06:37 PM

Thanks all for the jokes.

angviet · #**8439** 07-03-2018, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hondu

Nice joke bro, thanks.

Fully agreed, very good joke

bigbirdbird · #**8440** 08-03-2018, 08:03 PM

TOP 10 REASONS WHY CYBER SEX IS BETTER

10. If the date goes bad, changing your Screen Name is easier then changing your real name.

9. Bathing, dressing, supplying atmosphere is optional.

8. If you get drunk and blackout, you only wake up next to a keyboard.

7. You can exercise your offensive habits without embarrassing yourself.

6. Viagra! Who needs Viagra?

5. Your partner could have more of a personality than your inflatable friends.

4. Three words: No shotgun weddings.

3. All guys look like George Clooney and all women like Pamela Anderson.

2. They never have to know you live in your parents basement.

1. If you catch a virus, only your computer dies.

bigbirdbird · #**8441** 08-03-2018, 08:04 PM

Two farmers, farmer Bob and farmer Dan, are having beers in the local bar.

Farmer Bob is a younger man, somewhat new to the farming business. Conversely, farmer Dan has been doing it for nearly 20 years and is the most successful man in town.

After a few hours of drinking, farmer Bob gets up and says, "I'm gonna go home to feed the beaver."

Farmer Dan asks, "What's that supposed to mean?" Farmer Bob replies, "Well, my wife doesn't know about it, but I like to use names of chores on the farm for having sex."

A few months later, farmer Bob's tractor breaks down. He's so distraught, he decides to drown his sorrows at the local bar.

After sulking for a few hours, farmer Bob decides to return home. To his surprise, he finds a brand new tractor in front of his house. He begins to jump for joy. He runs inside to look for his wife.

Farmer Bob says to his wife, "Honey, where did this great tractor come from?"

His wife replies, "Well, farmer Dan gave it to me. All I had to do was handle his eggs, and milk his udder!"

bigbirdbird · #**8442** 08-03-2018, 08:06 PM

Barter

Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store. I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.

I stopped at a gas station, where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.

Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jacket which was wide open. She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.

With her bra-less breasts almost falling out her skimpy top she said, in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for beer?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"

bigbirdbird · #**8443** 08-03-2018, 08:09 PM

Cowboy’s AIDs Test

A rugged cowboy from Brokeback Mountain, Wyoming goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run.

The doctor comes back and says, "I am not going to beat around the bush, you have AIDS."

The cowboy tugs at his Stetson, sets his jaw, and says, "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of GrapeNuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

The cowboy squares his rugged shoulders and asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."

bigbirdbird · #**8444** 08-03-2018, 08:10 PM

Singular and Plural

A third-grade school teacher was trying to explain to her class the difference between singular and plural.

She asked, "What do you call it if one woman looks out a window?"

Charlotte said, "Singular."

The teacher said, "That's right, Charlotte..”

She looked back to the class, and said, “Now, what do you call it if three women are looking out of a window?"

Little Johnny raised his hand and blurted out, "A whorehouse!"

bigbirdbird · #**8445** 08-03-2018, 08:12 PM

String Attached

Joe was in the corner bar having a few when his friend Phil dropped in and joined him.

It didn't take long for Phil to notice a string hanging out of the back of Joe's shirt collar that Joe kept tugging on.

Finally, Phil couldn't contain his curiosity, and asked, "What the hell's that string for?"

"Two weeks ago I had a date with that Linda, in Accounting." Joe explained, "and when I got her into the sack, would you believe I couldn't get it up? Made me so mad that I tied this string to my dick, and every time I think of how it let me down, I pull the string and make it kiss my ass."