Does the so call " true love " still exist???

[playboy82]

Originally Posted by massageshiok

True love do exist especially for people who has seldom fall in love.

Because this love start to go off when the people who believe in them keep getting hurt...they then turn to something more materialist , something that won't betray them or hurt them...

Who can blame one not to believe in true love liao when people keep hurting them...

Hey... very well said.. although its only a 2 liner, but u SUMs up the whole thread.. where u copy it from...?

[hamster80]

I have another take on this "true love" thingy.

It is actually a chemical reaction or an infatuation in your mind. The chemical produces will cause you to focus all of your attention and energy on this girl.

The chemical is so strong that you will shut down all logical judgment and you only see the "good" of this girl. Nobody can stop you from thinking and loving her.That is why we often do silly things.

Sadly, this true love only last as long as the chemical do. After the chemical dissipates, you will start to see the truth, the ugly and everything else you didn't notice about her.

It is actually a required gene or process so that we will mate and give birth. It bypasses our logical sense and get straight to "production".

It is the way how natural help human to continue reproducing.

Of course, now we have grown to become more conscious of the after-effects and only reproduce offspring through planning.

[Destiny]

Originally Posted by hamster80

I have another take on this "true love" thingy.

It is actually a chemical reaction or an infatuation in your mind. The chemical produces will cause you to focus all of your attention and energy on this girl.

The chemical is so strong that you will shut down all logical judgment and you only see the "good" of this girl. Nobody can stop you from thinking and loving her.That is why we often do silly things.

Sadly, this true love only last as long as the chemical do. After the chemical dissipates, you will start to see the truth, the ugly and everything else you didn't notice about her.

It is actually a required gene or process so that we will mate and give birth. It bypasses our logical sense and get straight to "production".

It is the way how natural help human to continue reproducing.

Of course, now we have grown to become more conscious of the after-effects and only reproduce offspring through planning.

This is amazingly true.

[playboy82]

its 12.50am in the middle of the night, but i can't slp. Christmas is around the corner, so any lucky bro here manage to find the other half?

[cablesnwires]

Bro, din have time to read all the 55 pages. See that you have started this thread thinking out loud about how you feel. Life is full of irony, while those who are single yearned for the other half, those who are married yearned for freedom.

Bro, life is never fair. You may feel empty and lonely. But what makes you think that after marriage, you will not feel empty and lonely, albeit much later. Yes, festive season is coming and your romanticism is now running high. I wish you all the best, and whatever you do and find, may you find true happiness. This is something which I am searching for the longest time.

I thought I have found something, but it turns out to be otherwise. But then again, what's the point to bitch (pardon the pun ) about it? Haha... life still goes on.

Just ranting out loud, brother, hope you don't mind crashing in your thread.

[warbird]

Originally Posted by cablesnwires

............Life is full of irony, while those who are single yearned for the other half, those who are married yearned for freedom...................

I thought I have found something, but it turns out to be otherwise. But then again, what's the point to bitch (pardon the pun ) about it? Haha... life still goes on.....

Hi bro cablesnwires,

How r u?

I'm eager to know what has happened to ur love.

Will ctc u on my return.

Cheers!

Bro WB

[label34]

Personally, I do not believe in waiting for love to come and knock on your door. Even if love does knock on your door, that girl is usually not the type you are looking for.

You need to take action. Like what bro Charmaine has mentioned earlier, branding plays a big part in attracting the right partner.

"To find the right one, you have to be the right one."

You don't see Fiona Xie hanging around with the nerd who plays DOTA all day, and there's a reason for it. Girls are attracted to guys for a few reasons:

1. Status -- Being rich/famous will elevate the girl's social status.
   
2. Looks -- Having a bf with good looks will elevate her social status as well as to boost her ego.
   
3. Personality -- The one thing that will stick her to you like elephant glue. If you are intelligent, smooth, and have a wicked sense of humour, you can be ugly as hell and chicks will still bang you.

When the girl knows that she is hot and popular, her demand for these 3 will naturally increase. That's because she knows that she can CHOOSE who she wants from a list of guys now.

Women are generally competitive against each other, not only in terms of work. She can look at another girl and think, "She may be prettier than me, but I have a better sense of dressing than her!" Therefore, when a girl has a rich/handsome/charming boyfriend, her social status is immediately upgraded to business class because none of her friends have that yet! And the guy is completely ignorant of what is going on because none of the girls are talking about anything related to this topic at all.

Anyway, back to topic.

We can't become rich overnight, but we can learn to manage our money wiser.
We can't change our looks overnight, but we can groom ourselves to look better.
We can, however, change our personality to include those traits that attract the ladies.

Go work out. Get a haircut. Change your wardrobe. Improve your social skills. Widen your social circle. Be a volunteer. Make new friends at the church. Read more books. Improve your activity skills. Interact with people who are better at this game. Build up your courage by talking to new people. Make new activity partners for stuff like soccer, basketball, golf, etc. Focus on your career. Focus on yourself. If you feel that Singapore is boring, then fly to some other country. Step out of your comfort zone.

There is no guarantee that you will meet 'the one' after following these steps, but I assure you that you will feel hell more confident about yourself and attracting women will be the least of your problems.

Why do I say that? Because you will be naturally attracting women at that stage, so why do you need to worry?

Good luck.

[tuxedosam]

is true love truly there, my beloved love?
yes, if your warm heart is...

well, what is love? it is a strange, nebulous and ambiguous umbrella for many, many things, some of which probably contradict each other. the die-hard romantics see it as an ideal to strive for and something that can give life meaning...the materialists see it somewhat cynically as an ephemeral illusion rooted in the arcane bio-chemistry of the human body and the twisted structures of the human psyche. love is simply, all these things and a whole lot more. it means different things to different people, different cultures and different historical epochs. trying to locate a single 'true' meaning of love is just a pointless quest. as an individual though, i suppose it is important that each of us should try to define what love is for oneself. there is perhaps no solidly defined wrong or right but you probably might not be able to find what you're looking for if you dun even know what it is in the first place.

whatever it might be, 'love' definitely isn't just the glossy, saccharine garbage churned out by contemporary popular culture and the mass media. these representations attempt to lure consumers into thinking that some ridiculous standard of 'romantic love' exists out there as the truth (most of the times, it is just used to sell certain products, services, lifestyles and mentalities), which is of course a fallacious claim in so many ways. and hence, many folks find themselves believing that their lives are wanting in this or that aspect, because they do not have the 'love' that measures up to those out-of-touch images presented by the dominant discourse. one's life isn't complete, if he or she hasn't found his or her 'true other-half'...ahem... well, that's just hogwash. are the lives of singles any worse off than people in committed relationships? i dun think so at all. in any case, solitude is rather different from loneliness so it really depends on your personality and how you react to certain values, norms and expectations that are really imposed from the outside. even if you want to hold on to your somewhat unrealistic ideal of love, does it really hurt so much to leave your comfort zone once in a while, to try out new things and taste new experiences? existence is a wonderful and complex thing and life clearly isn't just about bonks or trying to find some hypothetical significant other to spend the rest of your life with. there are plenty of other things out there, some just as important and precious. others even more so. there are so many ways we can give back to the world, so many ways we can share the best bits of ourselves, so many ways we can love so what's the point of sitting back and endlessly bitching about how you're missing out on life's best moments?

because while you're lost in your self-absorbed little pocket universe, the best of life may just be passing you by. and you'll rue that loss one day, that much is sure. be adventurous and positive about life, that's all i'm saying...and you'll definitely find love, meaning and fulfillment, though perhaps not of the sort that you started out searching for, in some unexpected places. if you've done a bit of social work, for example, you'll know what i mean. but whatever it is, dun go looking for the wrong things in the wrong places. there are punters who are silky smooth with whores and all after years of cavorting with them and they think they know everything there is to know about women, relationships and 'love'. hmph...conquests in the commercial sex scene merely gives one a false sense of accomplishment... there is in reality nothing much to boast about nor does it prepare you to deal with real people and real relationships out there in the real world. a dubious distinction at best and most of the time a lot less. whores are there for many reasons. but love isn't one of them. just be careful... hmph, maybe everyone will find his or her 'true love' one day...or then again, maybe not... will it really make your life that much more miserable though? life isn't just about romanticised notions of love. just as love, for example, need not necessarily be about an essentialised concept of monogamy. even if you've found your other half, what makes you think that love won't change or die? will it solve all your other problems? dun let some seasonal propaganda barrage derail you from your life and the bearings you are headed towards. your happiness depends on and is the responsibility of yourself, first and foremost. not someone else, whether hypothetical or real. remember that. if you can't love yourself a bit more, you'll never know the true meaning of love or feel what it can truly be.

love doesn't die, although bodies may perish from all sorts of hurt.
love only disappears when you do not understand what it means.

[cablesnwires]

Originally Posted by warbird

Hi bro cablesnwires,

How r u?

I'm eager to know what has happened to ur love.

Will ctc u on my return.

Cheers!

Bro WB

Bro warbird, haha... i'm looking forward to meeting up with you again in Sin city. As to my love, will update you when you return back.

To TS, i'm sorry to crash into your thread, hope you don't mind.

[playboy82]

Count down 20 days to Christmas.

But till now, i am 100% sure that i will spend it alone, just wish to share an incident today, a girl that i dated, actually stood me up, i have already date her 1 week before, we agree that we will meet up on sat, but on the day itself, she go JB instead, and when call her, no ans phone, did not even bother to return call to tell me she cannot make it, and i am like a fool waiting at home for her sms, and have turn down all my appointment just for this date. Did she spare a thought for me? Mind you, this is not the 1st time she done that to me., agree to meet, but on the day itself, suddenly MIA, and did not even bother to explain herself. Was she or was she not taking me for granted, and mind you, she was the very same gal who complain to me that her friends take her for granted, and yet she herself is also one of them, isn't it ironical ?

Some girls are just that stuck up, they will never put u in their number 1 priority, when u date them, they will only go if on the day itself, they have nothing on, or her friends never ask her out. I mean , come on, lets face it, we guys are not stupid actually ( we have already set the date to meet up, but u still go elseway on that day ? what are u tryiong to prove ? ), we know what the gals are thinking, but we chose to close one eye, but even as guys, we also have our limits. When u date them, they will tell u, they will confirm wif you on the day itself, we guys are not stupid really, u think we don't know that this is your contingency plan meh, in case your friends date u on that day.

Life is indeed very ironic, gals u treat them nice, they take u for granted, thinking that can take us as a fool. Haiz.. or is it only happen in singapore ? No wonder true love i hard to find, Which leads me to wondr, what are the Odds that oneself will meet his/her other partner (true love) during his living years ?, taking into account that his/her other half may have been with someone, married to others, not in the country u live it, not the same race and etc etc..

[colins]

bro playboy, that girl probably agreed becos she couldn't say no, at that point of time. You treated her very well and she also confide/complain to you, means she let go of some emotions in front of you already. Very paiseh to say no in that state of mind, so just say yes lo. In the end regret and gave you crap reason, very natural la. Dun need to feel sorry for yourself, she ain't sincere and she ain't worth your sincerity.

[tuxedosam]

hi, bro TS, think you might be taking things a tad outta context, if you dun mind me saying that. so you got stood up rather unceremoniously by someone, but what does that regrettable incident have to do with whether 'true love' exists or not? even if you were seriously dating her, which doesn't seem to be the case, i doubt any serious case can be built to relate this example to the wider issue, or can it? i dun believe you'll call what you feel for this person (if anything) 'love', and from what little you've shared, i think you're pretty aware of this fact too. you are only going out with her occasionally; you can't expect her to make you a 'number one' priority in any reasonable way. anyhow, there will always be people who take the folks around them for granted and it has nothing to do with gender (or 'abuse' of that amorphous construct labelled 'love', whether it is one-sided, reciprocated or whatever else). men can be just as mercenary, cavalier and heartless as women, in similar contexts or entirely different ones. of course it's a shitty feeling to be used and taken advantage of, that much i know, but dun take it so seriously or give it more thought than the very little it is worth; it wouldn't do you any good at all. hmph, i guess some people are just unapologetic 'users', that's all. if you know they are like that and still see some (or enough) utility and value in return to want to maintain the relationship at some level, then you also can't really blame anyone when the person in question ends up being a 'disappointment' of sorts. sincerity, honesty and integrity might be important to you but that's just simply not the case with a lot of people. so even if your kindness or generosity or goodwill isn't repaid in kind, so what? that's just the way it is. that's just how the world works. it's not ideal and it's sure as hell not nice but that's life so we all gotta get real at some point. doesn't mean you have to get all nasty in some tit-for-tat game of accelerating one-upmanship though.

you can remain who you are. but at least be a bit more circumspect and less naïve about how the world really is like. put this way, alotta people suffer inconveniences, injustices, misadventures and predicaments that are a lot worse and a lot more unsightly (and not just in the name of 'love' though we'd just, for argument's sake, leave it as that) than just being employed as a completely replaceable stop-gap measure by someone looking to kill time. to be honest, i can perfectly understand that feeling of being manipulated and used, whether simply as a 'spare tire' or things a lot worse. did it sting? did it bother me? sure, it did, but no point mulling over what you can't change anyway. people are all different and you can't assume that they will always bend to conform to your expectations. trust me, when your so-called 'one true love' ends up betraying you and the love that you thought you shared with her, it will just feel like your universe has come to an end. except it didn't. all things said and done, life will always still go on because it is capable of adaptation and evolution. it may take some time but you always learn to move on, even if you end up carrying some burdensome baggage for a while. anyhow, this is just my personal opinion and i definitely dun have a very comprehensive understanding of your circumstances and experiences so that's that. hope you dun mind anyway...no offence is intended in any form, ya? anyway, whatever 'love' means to you, i still think it can't be the only driving factor in anyone's life. whether one is a victim of some unrealistic and overly romanticised projection (or not), that is just way too unhealthy an approach. 'one singular, eternal and unfaltering true love' is just too much of a derisible fairy tale to me right now. so think a bit outta the box and make your life more interesting, fulfilling, enriched and multi-dimensional. and maybe you'll find whatever you're looking for. or even if you do not, at least your life would have acquired a lot more meaning. and that's what truly matters, isn't it?

[nitrohardcore]

Life of a thirty plus yr old man - simple career, average income
Every posts here by all bros make sense. glad to know i am not alone.
When i ended my reln last year, I was in the mood to sian cha bor. Then I realised i am not happy with all these gals i got, becoz the one i loved had left me. From then, i had decided to be single, since i will never be happy with any other gals.
So FL Dome 2 became my best partner, essentially the core to my life other than work and parents. And i came to discover that the GFE is more impt than the bonk. could have gone to GL for Cat50 and just shoot, but choose to pay more for PRC babes, just for the fake GFE. Everytime the FL leaves the room, when i got dress and check out, the loneliness gushed back. miss the times when i really really have a gf, go for movies and diners, share our lifes together.

The older u get, the harder to fall in love
The longer u r single, the harder it is to accept someone into your life, becoz u r so used to living it urself

[playboy82]

Originally Posted by nitrohardcore

Life of a thirty plus yr old man - simple career, average income
Every posts here by all bros make sense. glad to know i am not alone.
When i ended my reln last year, I was in the mood to sian cha bor. Then I realised i am not happy with all these gals i got, becoz the one i loved had left me. From then, i had decided to be single, since i will never be happy with any other gals.
So FL Dome 2 became my best partner, essentially the core to my life other than work and parents. And i came to discover that the GFE is more impt than the bonk. could have gone to GL for Cat50 and just shoot, but choose to pay more for PRC babes, just for the fake GFE. Everytime the FL leaves the room, when i got dress and check out, the loneliness gushed back. miss the times when i really really have a gf, go for movies and diners, share our lifes together.

The older u get, the harder to fall in love
The longer u r single, the harder it is to accept someone into your life, becoz u r so used to living it urself

hey.. i am damn agree with the last part.. i am so used to being single, now, getting a gf since to be the last thing on my mind...

[Fuckster]

This song specially dedicated to Bros and Siss who's still alone like me

All the best in finding your love of a lifetime