Stephen Leather's Private Dancer

Originally posted by sandman101


But I think rather than saying that one shouldn't put the heart in a sure-lose game, perhaps it is worth exploring how we can turn the situation around gradually. Perhaps we have to explore how one can improve on their relationship from various levels of perspectives.

Basically what I am saying is, why focus on the negatives and let it paralyse all? Take heed of the inherent dangers (which bro SC has kindly shared with all), but move forward.

I really have your exact same thinking...... 2 "relationships" ago.
I like your "perhaps it is worth exploring how we can turn the situation around gradually" mentality. I tried to do it from ALL levels of perspective liao..haha...but in my case, to no avail....1 still went London, the other is still coming here to work next week. I used up all the tricks in my bag liao...but still kept banging into the wall...after a couple of times, I just got to realise I cannot change them.

Really depends on what u mean by moving forward....fyi, I'm still pretty good friends with both of them and we exchange calls a few times a week..both of them. But I'm at the stage where,on the surface the 3 of us still pretend to be in a bf-gf relationship, but I know, and they know, nothing will ever come out of it.

Why do I still not step away? I'm also wondering..but partly I treasured the memories that fate gave the 3 of us, I am one who really treasures my friends. Secondly, they do help me practise my Thai, thirdly, they helped and will continue help to save on my accom when I visit Thailand and London and last but not least, both are extremely attractive companions ..hahaha...poot lehn...the first 2 reasons more real..

I feel that as long as I continue to understand the huge gulf in mentality betw them and me, then I'm not in danger of falling for them again, because I really know them both too well, both their WL mentality and their individual personality.

My point all along was, is it worth the effort to "Take heed of the inherent dangers, but move forward"....we might be looking for the wrong thing in the wrong place...aiya, we all got to kanna first then we will realise lah...just try to limit the damage loh

Explorer once,
CIMKing

P.S. SC, u know where is Mayji now after H32 closed shop? I dun want to bump into her again leh...last time she baotoh me..tell her gd friend I visited her (although she promised not to tell)..wa lao...her gd friend called from London and gave me a tongue lashing in the middle of the night leh Btw, Mayji also gave me a lecture on the "taking care of her family by herself, no need man, she still young" shit...haha

OK, let's keep to the private dancer topic, sorry for side-tracking..I go finish the book first...

Originally posted by siamcutey
Err, a correction. Telling lies is in their culture whether they are working ladies or decent ladies. Thai girls are a very diplomatic lot. If you are with them, they don't like you, they wouldn't tell you. They will give the impression that they like you but in actual fact they don't. For what reasons, I wouldn't know. (Maybe they are great diplomats.)

Improving relationship from various levels of perspectives? Let's put it in a simple way. The only way to imprve on the relationship is to be 24/7 with her all the time. No amount of phonecalls, no amount of emails can improve on that. Phonecalls, emails, visits are on a superficial surface. Being 24/7 is the only time where day in day out you see her, she see you, thats how to work it out.

Either is bringing her to SG stay long term or you going to Thailand and stay long term. This is the sacrifice that must be made. Only then can you really start as Day 1 in working on the relationship. Citing other reasons such as work commitments, family reasons are simply just excuses. Because in order to make it work, 1st of all sacrifices have to be made. Once sacrifices are made, then worthwhile to talk about other stuff.

SC

Pak wan maak maak...

Agree on the 24/7 thing. Last time I din agree with SC on this. If you are less than 24/7 with her, you simply cannot compete with her WL friends..the huge amount of influence they pull over her...really..you people must believe this. You may ask then no trust then what's the point of a r/s..when u have to 'compete' with her friends....when u cannot accept her and her surroundings(including her gd friends) as a whole....argument also not wrong...so what's the conclusion of these 2 seemingly conflicting but perfectly logical argument? The conclusion is...There is no point!! I dont want to make a sweeping statement, but that shd apply most of these r/s..

Another more remote possibility is from bro lighter5's experience. You got to be so damn rich that u can satisfy their love for money and material needs...like he rightly pointed out, first you must be able to afford it, only then can you proceed to shower her with lots of love. Remember, first is MONEY. That way, maybe your can stay apart and still make it work...just maybe..

Originally posted by liketoplay
Thing is she's the only girl I've spent so much on in such short time , so will feel like a big fool if her feelings are not real.

That is exactly the wrong thinking..haha...sometimes, it's better to admit to yourself u r a big fool...will hurt less. What is your definition of her real feelings are real or not? Is it she loves u jing jing? Or is it she loves u jing jing ONLY? There's a big diff u know? If you are looking for the latter, then i suggest u better admit u r a fool now...b4 u get hurt/disillusioned/disappointed. The fact is they simply have too much choice liao...that's the problem..haha.

From making love in my house to visiting her house to introducing me to her whole village and best friends in BKK, how can I say my 2 friends' feelings were not real? But was I the only one? At no point in time was i the only one. Can you take it when she asks you how to sms "Taa khun mee welaa wang, khun toh haa chan dai" in English? Sitting together on her sofa in rural Phayao, she was definitely not msging me. And I still have to answer with a straight face "If you have free time, you can call me". She had the courteousy to say thanks and 3 minutes later, she receives the call, face lit up in elation, and rushed into her room, all the while conversing in her broken English but afraid I could hear her. What do you think? haha...

The first ger I fell for (lost contact liao). she was in her last 3 months in SG liao...after countless mind games, I thought, I want to be the "ultimate tirak"..and how to know for sure? I reckoned the below will give me a gd indication.
1) I want to bring her out,
2) I want to bring her home,
3) I must be the one with her on her last day in SG and see her off at the airport
4) I want to visit her home in Myanmar.
All of the above she promised me but din materialise. Nevermind, I thought, I'll do better next time.

The second ger comes along. I wasn't convinced but after many many things happened, in the end I believed "her feelings for me were real".
1) I brought her out
2) I brought her home
3) I was the one with her on her last day here and saw her off at the airport.

But you know what?
1) She din just go out with me. Her gd friend confessed after she went Lon.
2) She din just go my house. Her gd friend also confessed.
3) 2 other guys also saw her off at the airport.
4) I din get to visit her in BKK and her home because she went London b4 I could go and I know she wasn't enthuisaistic abt me visiting.
I was disillusioned. Still not the "ultimate tirak". Nevermind, I'll do better next time.

The third ger came along.
1) I brought her out
2) I brought her home
3) I went home with her on her last day somemore.
4) I even visited her a second time in BKK to meet her best friend and went to her house together.

Am I now the "ultimate tirak"? I have "achieved" all my goals u know? No! She is still going to come here and work (she was a FL in SG) here on a 2 year visa because the lure of the money she can earn is simply irresistible. And is she still seeing other guys? U bet she is, and she will. She got to keep her customer base. And make the full use of these carrots.

What's the point of finally "achieving" all these? Must I now aim to screw the next ger in her own house? And then she will be mine only? C'mon lah...

[siamcutey]

Originally posted by CIMKing

P.S. SC, u know where is Mayji now after H32 closed shop? I dun want to bump into her again leh...last time she baotoh me..tell her gd friend I visited her (although she promised not to tell)..wa lao...her gd friend called from London and gave me a tongue lashing in the middle of the night leh Btw, Mayji also gave me a lecture on the "taking care of her family by herself, no need man, she still young" shit...haha

OK, let's keep to the private dancer topic, sorry for side-tracking..I go finish the book first...

She told me she is back, but anyway, I didn't bother looking for her. She was telling long time back ago, she will go Japan after the GL trip. That time when you told me that, I already knew she will baotou you. Thai people words cannot be taken at face value. I was told that she actually called me up, but that time I was not in Thailand when she returned.

Ok, since now you see the whole picture, let me tell you more. when she quoted you this message Btw, Mayji also gave me a lecture on the "taking care of her family by herself, no need man, she still young" shit... at the behind she will tell her to think for her future and go for London. Of course she has to be the diplomat by telling you good things about her all this and crap.

I have a forum friend who stayed Thailand for the past 10 over years. Married a normal non-WL thai lady and happily married with 3 kids. Never got involved in relationships with WLs and he can tell me the same thing. NEVER TRUST THAIS. Thai people also tell me say don't trust the thais. So am I in any capacity to say the Thais should be trusted? I have my fair share of experiences seeing thai people lie and I am not here lambasting them. I am pointing out the fact that this is their culture.

Understanding the Thai Culture is one thing but doesn't mean changing them. Nor meaning accepting them. Understanding it will be good enough.

I remembered the 1st day I went for my Thai Lesson at the Selegie Complex. My Khunkruu(teacher), a thai, told me the same thing. Falling in love with a Thai girl can be dangerous and must be very careful. I didn't even tell her my ex tirak was a WL and she can say that to us. (I guess she must have knew many guys who went learning thai because of tiraks.)

What the thai girls tell us, its known among the Thai community, because we are thancharts (foreigners). Once a Thai girl know you can hold a thai conversation with them very well on your own, they will be more wary of you than the other way round. Do we see thai guys having tirak problems with their thai gfs? No. They understand the fact if the girl go out and get money back for the family, its part of their culture.

Over here, please take note, I am not lambasting the Thais. I am just explaining their perceptions and their culture. Understanding them but doesn't mean I accept it nor intend to change it.

SC

[free]

Originally posted by edkoh2000
Well,like I mentioned before, they maybe many man (farang or us) who are blind or chose to remain blind but not every Thai is out to cheat and lie.

They are real success stories too and if we chose to ignore that, it is itself a form of blindness.

No doubt all who thread have to be careful.

My story has not ended, but so far I have to support your views. I am walking along that path. Still a long way to go, but nevertheless, it moving forward positively, and strengthening by the month. But again, I also agree with SC. For every success, there are probably 99 failures. One does need to walk with eyes open big big. I have also used a PI as I wanted to trust her more, not cos I dun trust her at all. It worked out positive.

Currently there are at least 3 other bros I know who are walking this road with reasonable success so far. One has failed before and kena terok terok. This time round he was much more careful.

But I also see many more failures; some are really pitiful. I myself have even told some bros to wake up from their illusion.

Originally posted by siamcutey
She told me she is back, but anyway, I didn't bother looking for her. She was telling long time back ago, she will go Japan after the GL trip. That time when you told me that, I already knew she will baotou you. Thai people words cannot be taken at face value. I was told that she actually called me up, but that time I was not in Thailand when she returned.

Ok, since now you see the whole picture, let me tell you more. when she quoted you this message Btw, Mayji also gave me a lecture on the "taking care of her family by herself, no need man, she still young" shit... at the behind she will tell her to think for her future and go for London. Of course she has to be the diplomat by telling you good things about her all this and crap.

Understanding them but doesn't mean I accept it nor intend to change it.

SC

So she's back. I wonder where the rest of the H32 girls went. I saw the skinny OKT outside H14 though. Wait my new friend work at that house also..haha...then she'll see thru my little lamb image and know I'm actually the predator..hahah. Mayji told me all the H32 girls know about me and Jeab. That's terrible.

Jeab also wanted to go Japan but I think visa hard to get. I think the whole H32 wanted to go lah...but maybe she'll follow Jeab to London. Jeab's visa just got extended from 6 months to 2 years..great..haha..

Actually, Mayji was talking about herself during the lecture, not her gd friend, but it's really what every Thai WL think.

Exactly, understand can liao. If understand, then will know cannot be together with these girls, because different, very different. No need to accept or change them, because we can't, at least I can't.

P.S. Bro Yomun, I din want to tell you about me and her that time because of my previous horrendous experience with the 1st ger and Bro Relac Fats. I din want to play the mind games again. I wanted to bury my ostrich head in the sand. But really, I had to thank you because your account of all those sms, orgies and happenings let me know her much better. And that was the beginning of all the distrust and quarrels we had in our 1 year "together". I was like:"basket...how come his sms looks the same as the ones I got?" I din need to know her tag number because of the way she phrased her sms in broken English and her "gd9". No other girl spells the word that way. And of cos when you described the way she kissed, I knew liao. FYI, I cornered her when I pointed these 2 points out, she still din admitted. I really saw thru her.

Good night guys...

Originally posted by free
I have also used a PI as I wanted to trust her more, not cos I dun trust her at all.

I like the way u said that..hahaha... thook tong!

[siamcutey]

Now getting a bit sleepy.

And also it's the Thai King's birthday tomorrow. Wan Por. So wish him a very happy birthday.

So far this discussion sounds lively and open-minded. Maybe to make things more interesting, I shall post some of the interesting happenings which happen to me and my ex-tirak. I think that will be scintillating. And hopefully she will have a chance to read what I am writing today even though she is in London. I would seriously love to thank her for bringing me out of the perfect fantasy world. Without her, there wouldn't be me learning thai. I also wouldn't have realised what is true and what is false.

PS to free: If you are buying a gift for your tirak's parents. you do not need to buy them a watch nor gold jewellery. Practical items. The best present will be to go supermarkets and get them those chicken essence hamper, costs around 1000+baht or more depending on quantity you buy. The thais treat chicken essence as a luxury item. Even though some Thais do not like the taste but chicken essence is the symbol of an ideal gift. Shops and supermarklets all around Thailand sell them in different hamper sizes.

Good night everyone.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally posted by CIMKing
So she's back. I wonder where the rest of the H32 girls went. I saw the skinny OKT outside H14 though. Wait my new friend work at that house also..haha...then she'll see thru my little lamb image and know I'm actually the predator..hahah. Mayji told me all the H32 girls know about me and Jeab. That's terrible.

Jeab also wanted to go Japan but I think visa hard to get. I think the whole H32 wanted to go lah...but maybe she'll follow Jeab to London. Jeab's visa just got extended from 6 months to 2 years..great..haha..

Japan and London, so familiar. I still have 1 more place. Australia.

I will tell you tomorrow how they extend from 6 months to 2 years. Loooooooonnnnngggggg story.

hahaha
SC

[edkoh2000]

Originally posted by CIMKing
That is exactly the wrong thinking..haha...sometimes, it's better to admit to yourself u r a big fool...will hurt less. What is your definition of her real feelings are real or not? Is it she loves u jing jing? Or is it she loves u jing jing ONLY? There's a big diff u know? If you are looking for the latter, then i suggest u better admit u r a fool now...b4 u get hurt/disillusioned/disappointed. The fact is they simply have too much choice liao...that's the problem..haha.

I must thank you brother CIM for sharing your painful experience. Now I understand better why you feel the way you do.

Can I ask a personal question? Of all the 3 girls, did you propose to replace their income after they quit the scene and named you the only lover/bf ? Did you at any point propose a commitment to take care of them for now and for the future?

[edkoh2000]

Originally posted by free
My story has not ended, but so far I have to support your views. I am walking along that path. Still a long way to go, but nevertheless, it moving forward positively, and strengthening by the month. But again, I also agree with SC. For every success, there are probably 99 failures. One does need to walk with eyes open big big. I have also used a PI as I wanted to trust her more, not cos I dun trust her at all. It worked out positive.

Currently there are at least 3 other bros I know who are walking this road with reasonable success so far. One has failed before and kena terok terok. This time round he was much more careful.

But I also see many more failures; some are really pitiful. I myself have even told some bros to wake up from their illusion.

Thanks brother free for speaking. I did read a little about your story in some thread. Good luck to you and perhaps one day I might need your recommendation on the detective.

[siamcutey]

Originally posted by edkoh2000
Thanks brother free for speaking. I did read a little about your story in some thread. Good luck to you and perhaps one day I might need your recommendation on the detective.

Oh by the way, some private detectives are fly by kite ones, there to just make up the numbers and con more moeny out from people. 1 personal recommendation is NOT to use the P.I. that is heavily recommended in BKKtonight. Cannot make it.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally posted by edkoh2000
Can I ask a personal question? Of all the 3 girls, did you propose to replace their income after they quit the scene and named you the only lover/bf ? Did you at any point propose a commitment to take care of them for now and for the future?

May I ask how much do you think will be enough to replace their income? Bearing in mind they are earning at least 50K baht and more in the trade. (Most often is more). I am sure many guys dd gave the commitment to take care of them.

Let's say for instance I give 50K baht a month, she quit the scene. But then you are not together with her. What she do everyday at home? Stay and sleep at home? Go shopping watch movies alone? They need company. And who are the people they knew? The WLs. Everyday their conversation will consists of how many sessions they do, how much they earn from this Robert, where is the most ideal place in the world to "do business". If they have the simple idea on what business or work to do, they wouldn't do the flesh trade. You and I got to admit. Its fucking easy money.

So who do they turn to? Their friends and the local siam kias who come and sweet talk. You ever seen siam kias pick up their wives at MPs after work? You ever seen them sending their wives to hotels let people F? And when some of these girls when they have foreign boyfriends coming over, the siamkias will evacuate. or guest appearance as the ever loving Pii Chai. Look around in their family and you might even discover the little brother or sister in the family might be the lovechild of the siamkia and your gf. Don't worry, as for covering up, they are a class above everyone. From the family to the whole village.

So where does your money go at the end of the day?1 end you are simply just busy earning money for them to withdraw from your ATM.

Remember the 24/7 thing? That is when you don't even need to pay that amount every month. How much is needed for the family, food, acomms, etc is all easily calculated and you realise you save much much more. And also you will realise that the WLs will not even come visit her so often. Especially when you know the thai language, they wouldn't even talk about tam ngaan.

SC

[siamcutey]

Originally posted by CIMKing

Jeab also wanted to go Japan but I think visa hard to get. I think the whole H32 wanted to go lah...but maybe she'll follow Jeab to London. Jeab's visa just got extended from 6 months to 2 years..great..haha..

The theory as to how she get her 2 year visa will be at the end of this post.

So now my turn to tell some parts of my story. I wouldn't really talk about the whole story as it is long for 2 fucking years. But I would take out some scenes and talk about it.

My Ex-tirak's baby name is called nana, easier for me to quote in this scenes

Nana ROD from GL Westerhuot (or should I say ORD). After 1 year of being an Ang Pai in that house, she earned herself at least 40K SGD. Almost a million baht. Practically she can live very very comfortably. She bought a small car. Those small alfas. Costing 200K

She opened a restaurant with her so-called friends, and she is the only one paying the capital. I think they deem her as a money cow as she just came back overseas. Plonked in 300K baht. And in the end, the place did not open even.

At 1 point, she even broke down to me how much she hated the job in GL and wanted to die. You can even see her cry. I was saddened and really wanted to take care of her for life and protect her. Now you ask me, give her a rope, sleeping pills, gasoline tank, penknife, she will never never do that.
(Tears can be faked. Just like thaiboy's signature)

Got a period of time for about 3 weeks, she wasn't contactable. then she called me back, she said she just got back from Australia. She applied there to study english and after 3 weeks she ws back as she was caught for working in a restaurant while on student visa. She was sent back and her hp was stolen by her friend.

Last time I believe her as I was still a naive small little boy. Now you ask me, BULLSHIT. How can they actually apply for studying in English when their English standard is half past fuck? Why she got caught? She was working as a FL and got caught and had to be sent back. My theory sounds more logical than hers.

There was once when she brought me to a pub named Spasso at Grand Erawan. She say its easier for a foreigner to bring both she and her sister in. The music was great. The drinks were expensive. and somehow or another there was a farang who appeared out of no where to talk to her. She told me a friend she knew.
Now you ask me, Spasso is a FL hi-so pub. Thai Girls FL there at a rate of 3000-5000 baht ST. And the farang? I wouldn't be surprised if he was just another customer.

The day we broke up was when she said she wanted to go Japan to work. It has been > a year since she left GL. That time I had came out from NS and was doing decently well. I told her I will give her the money but just don't go. She said she don't want to take my money and she want to earn herself instead. (For that she at least have some conscience or maybe I wasn't rich enough). 1 GL girl told me maybe is not she doesn't want to take my money, it's because I am not rich enough for her. The comment was insulting but nevertheless, it really shook me.

After we broke up, 2 weeks later, called me up for help. She said she is not going Japan anymore and need to pay back the visa fees of 25000baht. She asked me to help her half of it and will return it to me one day. I TT her the money in an hour.

I was like a fucking sad fuck trying to think the world is so beautiful. Nevertheless it take 1 sad fuck to understand another sad fuck.

After she paid off her "debts", I still call her. Nana always tells me her dream is to go to a cool weathered place, such as Aust or England and she hated Thailand. She asked me to move over Thailand and stay with her. My rationale that time was to fucking do what there? I told her, I will make the dough and send her the bread. Give me 2 years and I will be there. She didn't wait.

2 weeks later, I called Nana, her younger sister picked up the phone and she was already on the plane to London. The bubble ended. I deserved it. The Sawadee forum people were giving advices on the pitfalls and there behind the monitor I was cursing and swearing at them thinking how could these people be so cruel? The true fact is they are the people who helped me most. They are the ones who really walked the path. For that I really have to thank them.

Nana emailed me when she was in London, and we still communicated. Until one day I couldn't take it and list out all my thoughts. From then she never emailed me back. Now her hotmail account has been discontinued.

I did call up her younger sister once in a while to find out how Nana was. Her younger sister told me she came back with a farang in december last year and got married in thailand and went back to England again.
My own discovery,
The marriage is to facilitate her visa so that she can go back to England again and ply her trade. Imagine they can marry any Tom Dick and Harry so as to go to a place and work. Dangerous.

I didn't really put the blame on her. I was too naive. Living in the comfort zone of Singapore. Coming to Bangkok staying here gave me a full picture of what Thai girls really are. I remembered that pointing 1 finger at the Thai girl saying is her fault is easy, but the other 3 fingers at my palm are actually pointing back at myself. I learned alot from this incident. And the only way 1 person can learn is when he walked down the Thai Memory Lane.

My motivation to learn thai is when at one time at the beach with Nana, I told her I want to learn thai to communicate with her. She told me I can't. Thai language is very hard and I will not be able to do it. Last time she can talk on the phone in thai while I am beside her. Now no one dares. One thing I learnt, if your tirak can speak English, Japanese, Cantonese or whatever languages quite well, the chances are she could have been to England, Japan, Australia, Bahrain, HongKong, Macau, etc. There are some who can even speak dutch well. Their saying is i learnt from school. Load of crap. The only way to learn the language well is when you are at the country using it and applying it every day. Most GL girls can speak Chinese and Hokkien very well.

Now I can speak the Thai Language. next year will be the time where I seriously get down to reading and writing it. The day when I accomplished that, I will read out to Nana the thai newspapers. My personal accomplishment where she said it was impossible.

hahaha
SC

[liketoplay]

Originally posted by CIMKing
That is exactly the wrong thinking..haha...sometimes, it's better to admit to yourself u r a big fool...will hurt less. What is your definition of her real feelings are real or not? Is it she loves u jing jing? Or is it she loves u jing jing ONLY? There's a big diff u know? If you are looking for the latter, then i suggest u better admit u r a fool now...b4 u get hurt/disillusioned/disappointed. The fact is they simply have too much choice liao...that's the problem..haha.

From making love in my house to visiting her house to introducing me to her whole village and best friends in BKK, how can I say my 2 friends' feelings were not real? But was I the only one? At no point in time was i the only one. Can you take it when she asks you how to sms "Taa khun mee welaa wang, khun toh haa chan dai" in English? Sitting together on her sofa in rural Phayao, she was definitely not msging me. And I still have to answer with a straight face "If you have free time, you can call me". She had the courteousy to say thanks and 3 minutes later, she receives the call, face lit up in elation, and rushed into her room, all the while conversing in her broken English but afraid I could hear her. What do you think? haha...

The first ger I fell for (lost contact liao). she was in her last 3 months in SG liao...after countless mind games, I thought, I want to be the "ultimate tirak"..and how to know for sure? I reckoned the below will give me a gd indication.
1) I want to bring her out,
2) I want to bring her home,
3) I must be the one with her on her last day in SG and see her off at the airport
4) I want to visit her home in Myanmar.
All of the above she promised me but din materialise. Nevermind, I thought, I'll do better next time.

The second ger comes along. I wasn't convinced but after many many things happened, in the end I believed "her feelings for me were real".
1) I brought her out
2) I brought her home
3) I was the one with her on her last day here and saw her off at the airport.

But you know what?
1) She din just go out with me. Her gd friend confessed after she went Lon.
2) She din just go my house. Her gd friend also confessed.
3) 2 other guys also saw her off at the airport.
4) I din get to visit her in BKK and her home because she went London b4 I could go and I know she wasn't enthuisaistic abt me visiting.
I was disillusioned. Still not the "ultimate tirak". Nevermind, I'll do better next time.

The third ger came along.
1) I brought her out
2) I brought her home
3) I went home with her on her last day somemore.
4) I even visited her a second time in BKK to meet her best friend and went to her house together.

Am I now the "ultimate tirak"? I have "achieved" all my goals u know? No! She is still going to come here and work (she was a FL in SG) here on a 2 year visa because the lure of the money she can earn is simply irresistible. And is she still seeing other guys? U bet she is, and she will. She got to keep her customer base. And make the full use of these carrots.

What's the point of finally "achieving" all these? Must I now aim to screw the next ger in her own house? And then she will be mine only? C'mon lah...

thank you for contributing your experience and advice. will open my eyes wide but its too early to say that I've been a fool.