Long Distance Tirak Relationship - Myth or Reality

[thecas]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

I do not give my wife any monthly allowance now. Instead I just give her an ATM card and she draws whatever she needs or want to buy. My wife has NEVER overspend or whatever. Anything that she wants to buy which may cost a little bit more, she always ask me. All my assets in Thailand is exclusively under her name and I have not even a little bit of fear at all.

Like I said, it's how you communicate with your wife.

But bro TV, will u ever worry dat 1 day she may find out your cheonging activities? Or is she fine with it?

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by thecas

But bro TV, will u ever worry dat 1 day she may find out your cheonging activities? Or is she fine with it?

I think my wife is aware that I have cheong although I don't round discussing with her. BTW, it's nothing to be proud of.

But I think she knows that whatever I do, my heart is still with her and my family.

I think that women don't want to husbands or bfs to fool around. But if they do, better not let them find out about it.

Originally Posted by thecas

But bro TV, will u ever worry dat 1 day she may find out your cheonging activities? Or is she fine with it?

[farark]

Originally Posted by Snuber

Finally got to know your story now. Can imagine how you felt that time. Like a bombshell...... but I guess by now, wounds would have healed but memories will still be there.

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Bro, my deepest sympathies.

Originally Posted by machoman

farark, certainly a touching love story between your tirak, Ketai and you.

Sorry about her untimely accidental demise. Just be thankful for the wonderful memories of the precious time spent together... guess it just wasn't meant to be

Bros.

Thanks for the nice thoughts... Unfortunately, then I made the ultimate mistake in grief management, I went on rebound. Suddenly, I became what my camp buddies called the crazy fucker, in that I tried seeking solace in the only avenue I had for Thai women - the illegal Thai WL scene.

I justified that it was the only way I could make a connection with the loss I had (I can't justify that even now though)... It was the late 80s then, I believe that then the GL Cat 40 wasn't up and running.

Thai WLs could be had in quite a few locations, namely Clifford Pier ('Ang Teng'), Royal Hotel, New Park Hotel, Grand Central Hotel and what is today called the Windsor Hotel.

With the hotel scene, it was quite SOP. You simply went to these hotels, stood there with a lighted cigarette in the lobby (those days still can smoke) and some Ah Beng type character would come up to you and ask if you wanted to see his girls upstairs. I believe that at its peak in 1989, Royal Hotel had at least half its occupancy from these syndicates!

I was introduced by a camp mate (one of my men actually) to an OKT, called Ah Boy. I made the page and arranged for meeting with him. At the appointed time, I was at the lobby with cigaette and at least 4 OKTs presumably from different syndicates approached me. I kept asking if they were with Ah Boy. The last one said he was and brought me up.

Into the room, there were at least 6 girls sitting around waiting for customers (kinda like the fish tanks, but of course there were no tanks there). I spoke to Ah Boy a bit while one eye was on the girls on show then. Didn't see anything I liked and told Ah Boy, who told me to wait for another two that were coming out. Offered me a cigarette which I took. I waited...

I had stubbed my cigarette out, thanked Ah Boy and headed towards the door when it opened and a really cute and bubbly girl appeared. She was definitely very attractive, but so were those already in the room. What made her different was that we made immediate eye contact. I thought I had found my Ketai replacement...

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by farark

Bros.

I justified that it was the only way I could make a connection with the loss I had (I can't justify that even now though)... It was the late 80s then, I believe that then the GL Cat 40 wasn't up and running.

Thai WLs could be had in quite a few locations, namely Clifford Pier ('Ang Teng'), Royal Hotel, New Park Hotel, Grand Central Hotel and what is today called the Windsor Hotel.

With the hotel scene, it was quite SOP. You simply went to these hotels, stood there with a lighted cigarette in the lobby (those days still can smoke) and some Ah Beng type character would come up to you and ask if you wanted to see his girls upstairs. I believe that at its peak in 1989, Royal Hotel had at least half its occupancy from these syndicates!

Bro, this was my time of patronising too, kekekekeke not forgeting Lion City Hotel and Great Eastern Hotel.

Maybe we should get together one day and think back of out old times.

[Malaysian Datuk]

Originally Posted by farark

Bros.

Thanks for the nice thoughts... Unfortunately, then I made the ultimate mistake in grief management, I went on rebound. Suddenly, I became what my camp buddies called the crazy fucker, in that I tried seeking solace in the only avenue I had for Thai women - the illegal Thai WL scene.

I justified that it was the only way I could make a connection with the loss I had (I can't justify that even now though)... It was the late 80s then, I believe that then the GL Cat 40 wasn't up and running.

Thai WLs could be had in quite a few locations, namely Clifford Pier ('Ang Teng'), Royal Hotel, New Park Hotel, Grand Central Hotel and what is today called the Windsor Hotel.

With the hotel scene, it was quite SOP. You simply went to these hotels, stood there with a lighted cigarette in the lobby (those days still can smoke) and some Ah Beng type character would come up to you and ask if you wanted to see his girls upstairs. I believe that at its peak in 1989, Royal Hotel had at least half its occupancy from these syndicates!

I was introduced by a camp mate (one of my men actually) to an OKT, called Ah Boy. I made the page and arranged for meeting with him. At the appointed time, I was at the lobby with cigaette and at least 4 OKTs presumably from different syndicates approached me. I kept asking if they were with Ah Boy. The last one said he was and brought me up.

Into the room, there were at least 6 girls sitting around waiting for customers (kinda like the fish tanks, but of course there were no tanks there). I spoke to Ah Boy a bit while one eye was on the girls on show then. Didn't see anything I liked and told Ah Boy, who told me to wait for another two that were coming out. Offered me a cigarette which I took. I waited...

I had stubbed my cigarette out, thanked Ah Boy and headed towards the door when it opened and a really cute and bubbly girl appeared. She was definitely very attractive, but so were those already in the room. What made her different was that we made immediate eye contact. I thought I had found my Ketai replacement...

Good old days bro......there was still GL in the form of backlanes where the girls would neg with customers thru the metal foldable doors below the spiral staircases. And Ang Teng was the place to be (all the FLs can be found near the entrance of the male toilet). Royal and GE were my favourite haunts too, the OKTs would have one room as an admin office (with a permanent altar inside no less!), 2 more for 'viewing rooms' and the rest scattered all over the floors as bonking rooms.

[farark]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Bro, this was my time of patronising too, kekekekeke not forgeting Lion City Hotel and Great Eastern Hotel.

Maybe we should get together one day and think back of out old times.

Originally Posted by Malaysian Datuk

Good old days bro......there was still GL in the form of backlanes where the girls would neg with customers thru the metal foldable doors below the spiral staircases. And Ang Teng was the place to be (all the FLs can be found near the entrance of the male toilet). Royal and GE were my favourite haunts too, the OKTs would have one room as an admin office (with a permanent altar inside no less!), 2 more for 'viewing rooms' and the rest scattered all over the floors as bonking rooms.

Yes, those were the old days huh? How could I forget Lion City huh? Damn, we just revealed our ages didn't we?

[free]

She cleared her hurdles, albeit with some modifications, but thru no fault of her own. While in Phayao I had to stay over in her home (but cannot sleep together cos not married yet), as her mum said her step-father will not like it even though the mum understands. Was damn disappointed at first cos our plan was to stay in a hotel and that she would join me for the nights too. Also, it would not be very respectful to the father if i go stay in a hotel. However it turned out to be a blessings in disguise. I truly enjoyed myself, especially seeing my beloved doing housework and cooking for me She cooks well, in fact most of my fav dish for each meal was prepared by her (& she had no idea what I really like then). Now I can see why she doesn't eat well in BKK, Home food (mostly prepared by mum) was so much better. I really enjoyed the Neur food very much, more than the typical BKK food. Had Kao Neow (glutinous rice) everyday and I love it. In fact I enjoyed eating everything they ate (even the spicy ones), much to the delight of her mum and the amazement of the rest, neigbours/relatives.

Her mum actually looked quite good - can even be mistaken for a much older sister. Could see that they are very close. She took good care of me, and by the time I left, there is already a bond between us, more than I have ever experienced before with others. There was once when my tirak was sleeping on a mat downstairs (unenclosed area) I was sittng next to her, reading Private Dancer on my Palm (finally completed). Her mum gave me a pillow and so that I can sleep next to my beloved if I am sleepy. I must say I was very touched, for that to me is accepting me as her daughter's faen, no doubt.

Extended our stay in Phayao by a day (one day less for us 2 alone), and drove mum, her kiddy bro and 2 cousins to CR to visit Doi Tung cos they had not been there. Also cos I know Film will appreciate my willingness to sacrifce one day alone wiht her for her mum's sake, plus she herself had not been there for years (3rd time for me). I was right. She really made up for the loss of 1 day after we came back to BKK Haha finally I understood what "less is more" means. Aa an added bonus, while we were taking photos at Doi Tung, I realised that even though she had lost weight as she was not well recently, she had not lost anything at the front where it matters most, kekeke. In fact she looks great, and her body looks even better now. Man I can get excited just thinking of her all natural cleavage.

Her step-dad is a good man. Very hardworking (works 7 days a week for 120 baht a day) as a construction worker, and still found time/energy help out at her mum's very young fruit farm. Going to take a while before their longan trees will bear fruit. Now the 70 trees are only barely a metre tall. He also went to catch frogs at night for food when he knew I like frogs (but kena eat everyday man!). It was cooked very differently from the way we eat it here, but its nice too. I felt bad that the dad could not join us in any outing, but it seems he dun like to go as well; he'd rather work or stay at home. Comparatively his younger bro who lived next door is much lazier and doesn't work hard at all. Oh yes, while they seem to find it rather amusing I dun drink nor smoke, I could tell that both her mum and dad were actually very pleased with that, as the dad was actually nodding his head in approval when I politely rejected offers of drink and cigarettes. I said I dun like my gal smoke/drink, so I will do the same to be fair to her, cos I love her. I could see some (not all) of the other females turning to look at their husbands and looking envious - serious!

Her 2 bros were nice to me, esp the 6 yr old one, who took to me like duck to water. He had a liitle piglet for a pet! Didn't want me to leave! I like him lots too. He really looks up to his big sister. When I asked him to study hard so the he can go to Uni when he is older, he said he has to ask his sis 1st, (not the parents!), and said that in front of mum too. In fact, the whole family seemed to have a lot of respect for her, and I can understand her even better now, especially the sense of responsibility she had for her family. Her parents worked so hard but are still poor. School fees (= uniforms + transport/pocket allowances) for the 2 boys is a strain, even though it is very cheap (to us at least). Yet they are not money-faced, contrary to the stories I hear. Could see some surrounding houses that were big and grand, built by some families' daughters (or their husbands/sponsors), who had sold their bodies for money, or the lucky ones who met foeriegn guys while doing decent work. Could sense the evironment of envy everywhere and why some parents dun mind if their daughters work as WLs. According to her, Phrae, where she grew up with her granny is worse. It is sad. I am so glad her step father believes in hard work instead of being money-faced.

Had the bonus of visiting her granny's side this trip too. She wasn't ready for me to meet them, but she changed her mind. However the bigger reason for not visiting initially was really gossiping by busybody neighbours (same for Dancer), plus the pressure of materalism. Even though her family (also granny's side) are not actually matierialistic themselves, the whole neighbourhood is. Bringing me home now will add extra pressures. on me and her family. So her granny (a whole gang, actually) came to meet me at her auntie's house instead, also in Phrae). However, I should be going to visit granny's home next Songkran, irregardless. Must say at the end of the day, I had a great time with her family (Nucleus + extended).

I think the best part is I saw the inner self of my beloved, and that she treasures a happy life (mee kwaam suk), even if it is a simple and not rich one more than materialism, cos she knows I am not rich, but she also knows I will not be stingy with her if I am to be in the future. Seeing her going to the pond to pick a kangkong-like vege to cook cos I said they tasted good earlier, and personally cooking them for me, I was really touched. Finally I understand what it means to have a tirak who truly loves me and gives herself to me, even as she is assured I love her. One thing that really moved me (my heart literally cried with joy) last night was when a friend called at 4am (after we finally fell asleep at 12midnight after doing "what couples did") cos her frd needed another gal's hp no. urgently. We were awaken and I wanted her again. She responded w/o complaining even tho she was clearly tired and sleepy, and give me one of the best I ever had. When I thanked her after, she said, "its ok, she enjoys making me happy cos I am her tirak".(I also good lah - I think ). I truly believe I have chosen right gal for me, who cares whether she is the "best qualified" or not.

And we are happy knowing that we make each other happy. There are still a lot of cultural differences to work out. And we hope that we will be able to sit and talk everything out, like the way we do now.

oK, got to go back to hotel now. Tirak has woken up and just called. Maybe one more round? I certainly game for it, kekeke.

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by free

She cleared her hurdles, albeit with some modifications, but thru no fault of her own. While in Phayao I had to stay over in her home (but cannot sleep together cos not married yet), as her mum said her step-father will not like it even though the mum understands. Was damn disappointed at first cos our plan was to stay in a hotel and that she would join me for the nights too. Also, it would not be very respectful to the father if i go stay in a hotel. However it turned out to be a blessings in disguise. I truly enjoyed myself, especially seeing my beloved doing housework and cooking for me She cooks well, in fact most of my fav dish for each meal was prepared by her (& she had no idea what I really like then). Now I can see why she doesn't eat well in BKK, Home food (mostly prepared by mum) was so much better. I really enjoyed the Neur food very much, more than the typical BKK food. Had Kao Neow (glutinous rice) everyday and I love it. In fact I enjoyed eating everything they ate (even the spicy ones), much to the delight of her mum and the amazement of the rest, neigbours/relatives.

.

Now that she's cleared her hurdles, have you cleared yours?

You have the time to analyse between the 4 stooges on who you want to be with, checked out the family, etc, etc just like "the bachelor", I was wondering whether she had the chance to do the same to you? Has she seen your family and checked them out? Was she given the opportunity to see how youe mum is like, and your dad? Also your siblings? So that she can know whether she can be comfortable with your family and decide for herself whether she will be living in harmony in the future or with a lot of problems? Don't she need to know what your neighbours think too just like what you were afraid of the neighbours in her village?

Or is this only a one-way "investigation" whereby you do the checknig and if you're not comfortable, then "next" while she has no other options but to follow since you're God's gift to women?

By the way, does she knows the reasons for your "failed" relationships or that she has to be submissive together with the other 3, clasped her hands in prayers and hope that she's the "chosen one"?

thaivisitor
Just added on 25/03/05
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[bkkguy]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Now that she's cleared her hurdles, have you cleared yours?

You have the time to analyse between the 4 stooges on who you want to be with, checked out the family, etc, etc just like "the bachelor", I was wondering whether she had the chance to do the same to you? Has she seen your family and checked them out? Was she given the opportunity to see how youe mum is like, and your dad? Also your siblings? So that she can know whether she can be comfortable with your family and decide for herself whether she will be living in harmony in the future or with a lot of problems? Don't she need to know what your neighbours think too just like what you were afraid of the neighbours in her village?

Or is this only a one-way "investigation" whereby you do the checknig and if you're not comfortable, then "next" while she has no other options but to follow since you're God's gift to women?

By the way, does she knows the reasons for your "failed" relationships or that she has to be submissive together with the other 3, clasped her hands in prayers and hope that she's the "chosen one"?

thaivisitor
Just added on 25/03/05
Barely 18 yrs old Amateur Model!!!
More Japanese Super Models!!!
http://forum.sammyboy.com/showthread.php?t=34162

Well said !!

[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

Now that she's cleared her hurdles, have you cleared yours?

You have the time to analyse between the 4 stooges on who you want to be with, checked out the family, etc, etc just like "the bachelor", I was wondering whether she had the chance to do the same to you? Has she seen your family and checked them out? Was she given the opportunity to see how youe mum is like, and your dad? Also your siblings? So that she can know whether she can be comfortable with your family and decide for herself whether she will be living in harmony in the future or with a lot of problems? Don't she need to know what your neighbours think too just like what you were afraid of the neighbours in her village?

Or is this only a one-way "investigation" whereby you do the checknig and if you're not comfortable, then "next" while she has no other options but to follow since you're God's gift to women?

By the way, does she knows the reasons for your "failed" relationships or that she has to be submissive together with the other 3, clasped her hands in prayers and hope that she's the "chosen one"?

thaivisitor

I am glad you asked. No, this is no One-way stuff. Actually I have clered most if anot all of the hurdles she needed me to go thru even before I went to Phayao. I had committed myself to my Film the day I decided to choose her. Perhaps strange to some,for I had vicillated to much earlier before making my finak decision for Film but then that's how I am made up.

She knows a lot about my family, my mum (they spoke OK over the phone cos their english level hardfight). My family knows about her of course. They had no choice, what with her photos all over the place - in the living room, bedroom, as my computer wall paper, on top my computer, etc. Even one in the toilet! Most important of all, she knows about my past failed marriage and the reasons why it failed. It is not difficult for her to tell that they are very different - in fact opposite in many areas.

In fact, last night we talked about what we would like to have/be together after getting married. She told me that she wants to love my 2 kids (now staying with the ex) as her own, and will be more than happy to should I want them to stay with us. She has been looking at their photos and really want to meet them,, if it is appropriate, esp my 2nd who is really adorable and looks just like me too. Perhaps cos her step father accepted her, before having 2 more boys of his own made her open to this idea, I had never expected her to tell me this, so it was a big bonus. .I expressed my worries about our age difference (despite her much higher level of maturity than usual for her age) and the response I got from her swept me off my feel. My mum had been worried about this (even more than me) and this discussion we had certainly removed most of not all of my doubts and I think my mum will be assured. too. She has already thought thru the whole thing (much more than I had), down right to the level of the older man's sexual performance as he ages, and the probability of having our own babies. If anything she has certainly gone the extra mile to read up about the process of aging for the man. Truly I had not expected this level of maturity from her. Needless to say, I am elated.To her, sex is but one of the factors in our relationship and to her, it is not high on her list of priorities, compared to my own list. Love and faithfulness and "mee kwaam suk" (what wee already have today) is far higher up.

I know that the way her family and I responded to each other had further brought us closer and I too want that to happen between her and my family. My mum has already extended her invitation for film to vist and she will do that when she is ready in a couple of months.. She has valid reasons why she cannot visit now and she has my 100% support.

One thing I did not do - I did not hide my "short" distraction when I went off for a while to meet my ex, Dancer, and in the process also met the 34 yr old stockbroker, and then for a very short while Dancer's classmate. She knew that she played a major role in that, and if anything she was glad I never lied to her and told her I was "nao jai' cos of what she did to me. We were really glad that I still kept in touch with her (I did not refuse her calls during the time she had 'chased' me away). And that I was willing to give us a 2nd chance and as a result, things fell in place. In the 1st place, we were already good friends when I was dating Dancer and later Rain and she was the one who was there for me when my heart broke both times. In fact she is the one who understands and knows me most.

Your perception of submissiveness is very different from mine. Perhaps cos of of my 'christian" background when I was younger, my idea is that of a loving submission from the lady while the man gives his life to the woman, even die for her if needed be. It is a "vicious circle of love" where the loving submissiveness of the woman evokes a deeper love from the man for her and the cycle goes on. It is not a slavery type of submissiveness as one may think. Give you a good example:- She definitely had reduced her drinking/smoking almost to the level of zero (while I dun smoke/drink previously). I had been upset when she smoked a bit when she was very stressed., and we even quarreled a few times over it when I was in Phayao, which got her even more stressed. For sure if I had insisted, she will not smoke at all. However , I realised that we are upsettin g each other and getting nowhere and so long as she limits herself to the occasional smoke, there is not much harm done. So instead of harping on the issue and be upset with her, I actually smoked together with her. Immediately a lot of stress was relieved and we are much happier and closer today cos of that. Smoking together occasionally is actually quite pleasant (and even arousing for us) and it does lead to some nice things later as we both relaxed after a smoke or 2. Drinks-wise, maybe I drink a little more than her now - but only when there is an occasion to do so. One thing we have accepted, it will take time for each of us to change and it must come from within the person, and the external force (albeit a loving one) can only serve to provide encouragement and love. And even if that person cannot change, as long as the habit is within our 'acceptable limits" we will still love the other "meun derm".

Bro TV, again I want to thank you. One sentence from you regarding choosing the one who has the highest chance of staying on with me for the longest is the one I should consider. So I ended up choosing this youngest one in terms of numerical age and she ended up being the "oldest" in mentality and maturity. As each day passes, I have become even more sure of her and she feels the same about her future with me. It may seemed like a nice silly old fairy tale, but this is the "real-life" path we are walking and we alone must determine where it will lead to.

2 nights ago, to further assure her (even though she never asked me to), I deleted the hp numbers of all the 3 lasses in my hp infront of her and said I will not call them again. And I have not since. When Dancer called me later that night while we were having dinner and asked who I was having dinner with, I simply replied I am having dinner with Film. Film has expected me to aay "with a friend or at best, tirak" and was surprised I did not hide that anymore. I told her why I mentioned "Film" and not "tirak" -cos Dancer knew that I have chosen Film and mentioning her name has far more weightage. That night, I was rewarded with the best wrestling match we ever had.

Take care

[thaivisitor]

Originally Posted by free

I am glad you asked. No, this is no One-way stuff. Actually I have clered most if anot all of the hurdles she needed me to go thru even before I went to Phayao. I had committed myself to my Film the day I decided to choose her. Perhaps strange to some,for I had vicillated to much earlier before making my finak decision for Film but then that's how I am made up.Take care

I asked because I've seen many relationships broken down because it is always the guy who decides which girl they want thinking they have the upper hand and the girl thinking they can adapt. After a couple of years when the strain and pressure sets in too deep, that's it.

Of course I've seen much more successful relationships but do bear in mind, in all cases, the girl gets to meet the guy's family, gets to stay in SG with them for some time, etc, etc before they decide to marry.

thaivisitor
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[free]

Originally Posted by thaivisitor

I asked because I've seen many relationships broken down because it is always the guy who decides which girl they want thinking they have the upper hand and the girl thinking they can adapt. After a couple of years when the strain and pressure sets in too deep, that's it.

Of course I've seen much more successful relationships but do bear in mind, in all cases, the girl gets to meet the guy's family, gets to stay in SG with them for some time, etc, etc before they decide to marry.

thaivisitor

While I agree with you, unless things did not go the way we wanted, she will have less in-law problems than most, cos I actually prefer to live in LOS. However, I have full confidence my mum will love her, cos she thinks for my mum much more than the ex ever did. My bros will just accept her (worse case scenario - and we never got into each other's ways anyway) while I know my sis will actually dot on her, cos she always wanted a younger sis or even daughter.

Having said that, I know Film is Film and the major thing for her will be how I "tam dtua eng", and not cos of a 3rd person. In my case, cutting off any "close" contact with the other 3 is very very significant to her, even if she does not say it. She also told me last night she really loves me for being able to "ot-ton" (tahan) some of what she felt are her negatives w/o affecting my love for her. But really, she is also doing the same for me. Cos we both believe that no one is perfect, and we are not looking out for that perfection. As it is, we are both Por Jai with each other.

Film is a person who reasons and I am glad for it. Another big surprise from her last night. I was telling her that I really dun want to wait too long to get married to her (same for her) and as soon as finances/career permits and things stabalizes, I would like to tie the knot with her. However the reality is that legally, we may need to wait longer cos it will take a bit more time for my current separated status to become "legit" cos I was too stupid not to take legal action for quite a while even after it was all over. Film is already aware of this problem while we were still friends, and she in fact knew when I started taking action. I asked her how she would feel if we get married 1st and Ja Ta Bian (register) as soon as it is possible later. I was glad she too want to do it that way. She said she can understand my reasons and they are valid to her and it's not becos I am trying to avoid it. And she is happy that Ja Tabian will always be among my top priority. Probably will have kids only after the Ja Tabian. That gives us at about 1 year to build our up new r/s as spouses.

We are now in the clear that we both have alternatives, even for her. She wouldn;t be totally dependent on me, esp after she finishes her hair dressing/beauty diploma from Gae Siam (spelling??). We agree that we need to work even harder on our r/s now especially during this 1st year, as most make or break during this stage. And we really want to make it for we dun want to lose each other. To her I have proven beyond a shadow of doubt that I am a good man fior her, and I love her singularly while she has also done more than enough to assure me this is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and that it is not going to be another scam story. She has put her face/reputation on this r/s too. Meeting her granny's family (who brought her up) cos she has reached that level of confidence in me, meant a lot to me. I had told myself I will not be fully assured that she is for real until I see her granny face-to-face. When she decided that she is ready for me to meet granny (another surprise), we actually drove from Phayao to Phrae to visit the her and her family.

This recent trip has given both of us a lot of confidence in each other. We really had a lot of time to sit down and talk our hearts out together (until past 1am) since we can't do much else at night while at her parent's (hahaha). And of course the physical part comes in when the location is appropriate. Its hard not to be attracted to the one who loves you.

What a touching story bro Free! Wish mine would turn out juz like yours... Gotta go study up on my thai man! If not, how am i gonna communicate when i'm at her place???

[free]

Originally Posted by E-Moron

What a touching story bro Free! Wish mine would turn out juz like yours... Gotta go study up on my thai man! If not, how am i gonna communicate when i'm at her place???

This is the first time ever that I returned to SG w/o feeling a sense of emptiness and loneliness that I so often felt in the past with other TGs when I visit them (even her at the earlier stage). Sure. I do miss her like hell (and vice versa) and have been smsing since we bidded goodbye so that we can meet again. But this time, the emptiness/loneliness has been replaced by a deep sense of peace, of fulfilment, knowing that she is really there for me, all of her and it is no longer just a dream or a figment of my own imagination. And she said, the same goes for her, she no longer worries if this was going to be the last time she would have seen me. She knows I will return to her. Dun know how else to describe it. Perhaps, as the song "Proong Nee" by Loso says, this time we know deep in our hearts that Rao Bpen Kong Gan (We belong to each other). My LDTR is now turning into a Reality. I see the light at the end of the tunnel and I know it is not an oncoming train anymore. There is now a way forward.

I must emphasize that it really took the both of us a lot of HARD WORK, and tears even. We climbed the highest mountains and the lowest valleys. The initial period before we found a way to communicate our innermost thoughts, fears and wishes w/o worrying that the other party will take an unfair upperhand or completely misunderstand us was very tough. We have really learnt to make up (and make love, if we are physically together like last night itself, kekeke) when misunderstandings came along and we sort them out bit by bit. Never once have we gone to sleep with anger/resentment still in our hearts cos we had not yet made up to each other. We made a covenant not to let the Sun set on our anger.

With the distance apart, peppered with worries that someone else may come along and snatch our beloved away is perhaps a good thing for us. Even when problems arise, we still dun want to lose each other, for we see in the other many of the things/characteristics we had always wanted and had looked for in others before realising that this person was right in front of us all along.

For if I had not broken up with Dancer more than a yr ago, and turned to her for support, she would have never thought that I could be the one for her. And if she had not taken the bold step of revealing her initial feelings for me after my failure with Rain (and I again turned to her for solace, and I had not tot of her after Dancer), I would have never even dreamt that she could be my One.

Perhaps the fact that we had already known each other for a long time as friends (sustained by telephony much of the time) helped us maintain some belief in each other when the misunderstandings & quarrels came. The numerous times we had confided our joys and sorrows to each other at a time when the other party was neither a vested interest nor a threat in any way, had laid an unseen foundation that we could fall back on. So many times, we fell back on the memories of the platonic friendship we had shared, when we were able to talk about anything, including what sex with the one we love meant to us.

Yes, I do thank my improving Thai (thanks to Dancer who started me on the path of learning). Without that, there is no way Film & I will be where we are today. Our conversations are 98% in Thai, 1% in English and the remainder in Hokkien, Mandarin and whatever.

The foundation friendship we had the fortune to have developed before we fell in love had done wonders for what we are trying to achieve now.

Had she not known my efforts to love, care for and to be faithful to Dancer & Rain during those turbulent times, and the heartaches I had suffered in the process, she would have thought I was just playing with her, and would have given up when I sort of left and dated others. Had she not known what I needed (and that she can and is also willing to give) and knew how much I was prepared to give of myself to the one I love when I was with Dancer and later Rain, she would have never trusted me. She had sympathize with me for staying celibate even when my then tirak was not prepared and how disappointed I had been, or she may not have given herself to me the way she does now - rather she meet my needs than risk me going somewhere else. Had she not seen how inside this sometimes "demanding, if not unreasonable" personality is a human who cares, listens, accomodates and loves with all his heart and will do anything for his beloved (if she loves him in return), she would have never ventured this far.

And had I not recalled how often she warned me regularly about how many TGs do cheat the men (who want to love them) cos they had other priorities/guys in mind, I would have doubted her when things got tough. Had I not heard her heart cries about what she had gone thru and how she really had enough of games played by people who are not sincere, I would have no courage to move further with her when other TGs seemed "better" when problems surfaced. Had I not known that warm loving heart within that hardened shell of steel, I would never even dared to knock on her heart's door. Had I not known how much she wants to move away from her past towards where she really wants to be, her past would have been a cliff standing before me.

As it is today, her past meant nothing to me. It is the present and the future with her that I want. Something happened just 3 days ago, and I passed the test I had always feared I would face - no matter how I had tried to prepare myself mentally, I really fear I may not survive this fire. She had really told me the truth (even when it seemed like a standard denial used by TGs when things like this occur), as I had verified directly with the source of the problem itself. Instead of anger, there was trust and she proved herself yet again. And I made a new friend in the process. Net result, she saw that I meant what I say when I told her that her past is not impt to me, and I had already thought thru the matter and am prepared for the consequences. I delivered when the time came. She must have been truly relieved for I could see the fear in her eyes earlier that I might not trust her. I knew that moment her love for me grew a notch deeper.

Bro E-Moron, just want to remind you that your journey can never be like mine. At best we walk parallel paths. You must walk your journey together with your beloved, hand-in-hand, & do it your way. Only you both know where you are going. My LDTR can at best serve as an indication of what is possible, whether it works out or not (of course I hope it will work out), for this is the very reason why I started this thread.