Need advice on Sour marriage life..

[magixskin]

The hardest thing is holding on especially when you know she has already let go.....


Giving up does'nt always mean you are weak, sometimes it just means you are strong enough to let go...

Wish you the very best of luck.

[sgjoey]

Sex need not be the factor that sustains a marriage.

Perhaps what is more important than sex is love -- feelings of care and concern for the other -- and the wish to retain the other as a partner in most of life's undertakings.

Sex does reinforce feelings of love, but there could also be love without sex, especially in long-term relationships.

You obviously love your children. Do you also love your wife? Does your wife love you? Clarifying these issues may help you make the right decision for you.

[alvinskoh]

Originally Posted by topcook1

Sigh went home last night and she told me that she is going for Bintan trip with her friend for this weekend..sigh..asked me to take care of my daughters...

Bro, is very clear she got someone she happy to hang out with.
You have to learn to let go , once woman change their feeling is gone.
No way she will turn back now.

You have to choose how to live your new life without her.

If you have enough money, move out and rent a room somewhere.



cheers

[topcook1]

Originally Posted by alvinskoh

Bro, is very clear she got someone she happy to hang out with.
You have to learn to let go , once woman change their feeling is gone.
No way she will turn back now.

You have to choose how to live your new life without her.

If you have enough money, move out and rent a room somewhere.



cheers

After the Bintan trip she silently left for Melbourne on xmas day...I was the last person who got to know this piece of news..Her mum and my daughter know about it and they acted blur until I said wanna report to police for missing person. I am really very sadden now.Dont know what to do next?

[wahlanz]

Originally Posted by tawhooboy

hi bro,
just want to share my experience with you....
mine too, was a 10yr marriage, 2 kids - one 9yr (boy) & one 6yr(girl).

today, just finished Mediation session & finally all resolved.
Divorce is never about ourselves. children are the innocent victims.
They never should be deserving this......

here's how i manage to stay "alive" during divorcing/separation period, after she moved out, taking kids with her.

with these 3 priorities in my life......

1) CHILDREN....whatever you think, decide, do....act with their best interest in mind. give them your very SINCERE best, spend whatever time you have with them, let them have GOOD memories of you and they will feel your fatherly love for them.

2) YOURSELF...take good care of yourself, love & respect yourself. have enough rest, exercise, stay healthy.....dont fall sick or worse, suffer from any illness...ie depression, cancer ,etc.
Children will always need you as their father, even if they dont stay with you.

3) CAREER....start to take action, small positive steps towards your financial goal. Find work, start a business, learn new skills, even volunteering your services & helping others will make you feel great...as there are other less fortunate.

It takes only ONE person to do this....YOURSELF.
Believer in yourself, change your perspectives,..bit by bit...
and then everything else will slowly fall in place.....you've a NEW life !!

Well said bro! Thumbs up!

[alvinskoh]

Originally Posted by topcook1

After the Bintan trip she silently left for Melbourne on xmas day...I was the last person who got to know this piece of news..Her mum and my daughter know about it and they acted blur until I said wanna report to police for missing person. I am really very sadden now.Dont know what to do next?

Bro;

I know how you feels and what you going thru' ; very painful to know that she treat like a piece of shit. Like wise, you must do the same. Let her know she is nobody to you.

You should thanks her for giving you a new life to start with more choices of young and compatible partner.

I suggest you open up and talk to your buddy and friend for support.
Also must build up physically , train up your body to be fit like Army time.
Only then, your wife will realize you are going to put up a fight.

If you have urge , just go for FL.

The problem now is you; not your wife. You refuse to accept the fact she no longer want to be with you. What you doing now is blaming game and wants to be victimised.

You are giving up your power to your wife to manipulate you.

Take control of your life, as long you are physically and mentally strong and with money in hand.

Sell this sad place and find your own place. I believe your wife will panic if you do so. If she not taking care of children you have to take over the role;please do not seperate the sibling

Cheers

[maxsee]

U got to let her go...if u truly loves her with all ur heart...then let her go and move on with ur life....it is a matter of time before the pain will goes away...trust me....

[alvinskoh]

Originally Posted by maxsee

U got to let her go...if u truly loves her with all ur heart...then let her go and move on with ur life....it is a matter of time before the pain will goes away...trust me....

Bro, agreed with you. Only Time will dissolves all problem & pain.

[topcook1]

Originally Posted by maxsee

U got to let her go...if u truly loves her with all ur heart...then let her go and move on with ur life....it is a matter of time before the pain will goes away...trust me....

The pain is when I see my daughters....really cant bear to see them leaving me in future...

[S.B.Y.1]

Mas topcook1

Now is not the time to dwell on self pity and the feeling of dejection

Take this oppprtunity to resurrect your New life .

Get on with it and make it happen

The children will one day grow up knowing what your wife had done to marriage and their lifes. (remember Pak's PM to you) Fret not

The moment your wife left for holidays is the injection you need to know all's gone for your marriage (sorry for saying it)

If its not meant to be then it's definitely not meant to be

Pak knows that you are far more capable and knowleagable to stand up whee it matters

Pak sincerely wishes you all the best in whatever you decide

[catslutty]

Originally Posted by topcook1

Sigh went home last night and she told me that she is going for Bintan trip with her friend for this weekend..sigh..asked me to take care of my daughters...

Hi bro,for my suggestion is if you really love her and don't wish to leave her,give you and her a grace period.Let her do whatever she wants.If she really still love you,she will remember the good time with you then that "friend".If she choose to go and no point holding her to be with you ,for the rest of your life.Go and find someone who willingly to love you and be with you.Good luck !

[SH149]

Originally Posted by tawhooboy

hi bro,
just want to share my experience with you....
mine too, was a 10yr marriage, 2 kids - one 9yr (boy) & one 6yr(girl).

today, just finished Mediation session & finally all resolved.
Divorce is never about ourselves. children are the innocent victims.
They never should be deserving this......

here's how i manage to stay "alive" during divorcing/separation period, after she moved out, taking kids with her.

with these 3 priorities in my life......

1) CHILDREN....whatever you think, decide, do....act with their best interest in mind. give them your very SINCERE best, spend whatever time you have with them, let them have GOOD memories of you and they will feel your fatherly love for them.

2) YOURSELF...take good care of yourself, love & respect yourself. have enough rest, exercise, stay healthy.....dont fall sick or worse, suffer from any illness...ie depression, cancer ,etc.
Children will always need you as their father, even if they dont stay with you.

3) CAREER....start to take action, small positive steps towards your financial goal. Find work, start a business, learn new skills, even volunteering your services & helping others will make you feel great...as there are other less fortunate.

It takes only ONE person to do this....YOURSELF.
Believer in yourself, change your perspectives,..bit by bit...
and then everything else will slowly fall in place.....you've a NEW life !!

This I must say " awesome "

Bro topcook it's sad to hear that
As I am not much experience on this so not much I can say but I need to say this "Take care bro" as yr kids need you

You might not be success in your marriage but do not fail your duty as a father

[topcook1]

Originally Posted by catslutty

Hi bro,for my suggestion is if you really love her and don't wish to leave her,give you and her a grace period.Let her do whatever she wants.If she really still love you,she will remember the good time with you then that "friend".If she choose to go and no point holding her to be with you ,for the rest of your life.Go and find someone who willingly to love you and be with you.Good luck !

After she done all these shits to me...my feeling has already died...Guess now my concern is my children and what is going to happen next...I will just sit and wait who eventually will serve the divorce notice.. Thanks for the concern and support of the brothers here..I will be strong and I had found a new job .

[tawhooboy]

hi bro topcook1.....GREAT to know you've started NEW work !!!....start of your NEW life !

lastly, here's a daily prayer.....(whether you're Christian,Budhist,Muslim,etc...),which may help....

GOD,...grant me the SERENITY to accept things i cannot change,
.....COURAGE to change the things i can,...and WISDOM to know the difference.

....cheers to a HAPPY NEW YEAR....for you & all the bros of SBF...& sisters too !!!

[S.B.Y.1]

Way to go Mas topcook1 you definitely in the right direction

As Mas SH149 and others mentioned you have to be strong for the children.

Pak always believe what comes around goes around.