Extramarital Affair: Truly in love with each other

[miniskirt]

Originally Posted by 2centsworth

I also like the feel that you are there to relax and not there because it's a 'safe' place to be... The girl I brought... the first time we saw each other naked was when we were in the room, stripping to enter the jacuzzi. Damn erotic... from never see her naked to soaking in hot tub naked together... within 1 min. Heavenly..

sounds fun. wish someone can bring me there.

[goodmassage]

If u r muslim, circumcised & your wife agrees...sgp syriah courts. Will permit more than 01 wife

[korg2020]

Just wondering if there are any brothers out here with a serious extramarital relationship that lasts for several years? In my opinion, it may not exists...but happy to hear any feedback...

[Iemanishere]

Hi guys, know how u feel.. As I am sure many guys in Singapore have the other women or lady..most will keep them here and others overseas.. But there are some saying the rule of the tum.. Is what do u see in the other women?? Can she give you what ur wife can't or??

In the biz world out there, man keep other women is to ensure thy build a biz world which she can help and as well for others..

I fly a lot an my main line of biz is here hk and china, once a biz women told me if u keep a other women in ur life be it local or oversea, do make sure she can help u in ur biz or others.. She said again think with the big head not the small.. Can't help you don't do it..

But in all case never never not care for ur kids..as what u do now thy may not understand but in time to come thy will.


God bless.. Ps sometimes it hard to think but we are only human.. But u want to take this path.. Make sure, take good use of it and be someone some day..not all will go to waste...

[sgjoey]

Monogamy is a failed paradigm because again and again, people marry and after a time find themselves attracted to others. This is not their fault -- it is quite in keeping with our nature to crave for variety in most things, including our sexual and emotional bonding with others.

Polygamy is the traditional alternative and minority paradigm in certain cultures but because of its one-sidedness (a man can have more than one partner, but expects his wife to have only one) is chauvinistic, and more importantly, also not in keeping with human nature.

The fact is that we -- both men, as well as women -- are inclined to be non-monogamous. The solution is an open marriage of sorts -- presuming that marriage is even necessary in the first place.

Polyamory may be the relationship paradigm of the future. I say the future because too many people at present are still wallowing in ignorance as to what human nature is really like.

To break out of the mongamy trap, take a look at this site.

[TheHornyDevilz]

What was that saying...

If you love something,
Set it free
If it comes back,
It's yours.
If it doesn't,
it never was...

Sometimes, when life becomes an impasse, and there is no clear channel for things, perhaps it is time to get answers and move on from there.

[starz85]

Originally Posted by korg2020

Thanks very much for the advice, much appreciated. Hopefully I can get to hear someone who is in the same situation as me and offer me some advice on how to cope with such relationship.
I used to frown on people who commit adultery but now realised that people do have genuine reasons for it....
Thanks again.


M

I don't think anyone can cope with this ..

I frown on adultery as well .. and i think those that do are cowards that do not dare to divorce and sometimes use kids as excuse ..

well sometimes ...
adultery is ACTUALLY the easy way out ...
and passonate relationships are easy to fall into ..
it's marriages that are hard to work out

but then which one is love? passion? or marriage?

[starz85]

Originally Posted by tomdh

there's a funny thought though that's been currently swirling in my mind:
i love my family, i don't want to hurt my wife + kids, but our relationship does need a lot of repair.
i have a lovely girl outside, who is sweet, single & most charming.

WHAT IF i come out clean and confess this affair to my wife AND try to convince her that we can work out a 'concubine policy'? (all with the assumption that i am financially able)

No woman will like this ...
some say marriages are invented by men to trap women ... i think sometimes the other way ard is true ..
cos women are the ones that need a faithful man who will support the kids with her .. as they are always saddled with the kid ..

all girls will say dun mind dun mind but sure have parts that they mind one cos it's not a complete marriage ... or relationship ..

it's how u juggle them i suppose

[Marblecat]

Well, I just couldn't resist writing a reply even if TS may not be reading this any longer. "Looking for good advice"? hahaha. No no no. You're looking for people to support your delusions. You're not looking for advice or answers, just replies that fit an outcome you already want.

I'm trying not to sound judgemental here, but really, if you have decided what to do, then do it anyway. Don't beat around the bush. The fact that you are not hints that there may be a decent voice of sanity screaming though the fog in your brains.

Right now, your behaviour can be best summed up as irresponsible, selfish, and of more practical implications - unrealistic. You are not looking to have your cake and eat it - you want the whole damn bakery. And to gorge yourself, then vomit and eat more.

You want the thrill and the illicit excitement of having a secret liaison, the exquisite angst of being in love and yet having true love being denied, of romance without consequence, of lust without constraint, of emotional highs without rational consideration, the SHEER high of something new. But you also want the stability of a home, the security of a doormat, the comfort of family, the succour of familarity, the SHEER stability of something you may complain about, but in which you are absolutely sure of and can be truly yourself.

Be honest, neither you nor your lover are being honest (and I don't mean to your respective spouses). To each other or yourself. Are you really showing the real you to her? really? And you think you are seeing the real her? Both of you are indulging in a fantasy world. if you had to live with each other, if a genie would be to grant what is supposedly your deepest wish and whisk you away to be together, I guarantee you 90% of the attraction would vapourise the second the affair becomes an open accepted relationship - the illicit excitement that is feeding both of you would be gone. Then, over time, the grind of reality in daily life would take care of whatever foolish notions of romance you have. Google for info and you will find that over 90% of re-marriages from affair partners end up in further divorces. Wanna guess why?

The "chemistry", the "connection", the emotional closeness you feel is very real to you, that I understand, but it is also illusory. It's based on an environment that cannot be realistically obtained in real life. You can actually have the same chemistry again with your wife, but it takes work, and work is never the preferred option when you can blame somebody else. Go google PEA. That's the chemical that's screwing with you right now. It'll go away soon. IF you can go cold turkey.

I can add more if you really want to see through your options. But if you're just looking for validation for what your heart and dick wants to do, don't waste time, your own and others'. I'll say this much - in the throes of your most passionate, shiok encounters possible together (as someone put it - in a couple spa for instance), at the height of your "chemistry", if you were taken aside and faced your child alone, and made to hear the hurt and bewilderment of not even anything abusive but a simple "Why, Pa? What are you doing?" That tongue in your mouth is gonna feel like sawdust.

Good luck.

[Gentle Beast]

Originally Posted by Marblecat

I can add more if you really want to see through your options. But if you're just looking for validation for what your heart and dick wants to do, don't waste time, your own and others'. I'll say this much - in the throes of your most passionate, shiok encounters possible together (as someone put it - in a couple spa for instance), at the height of your "chemistry", if you were taken aside and faced your child alone, and made to hear the hurt and bewilderment of not even anything abusive but a simple "Why, Pa? What are you doing?" That tongue in your mouth is gonna feel like sawdust.

Good luck.

I concur with your analysis. Some of us turn to commercial sex to get the alternative high as a replacement to getting messy with extramarital affairs. To each his own.

[goodmassage]

Well said MARBLE CAT!

Rather than pretend to be in love & convince yourself you are not the hypocritical bastard. Why not just go full swing into patronizing whores? After all, guilty of once, guilty regardless. Moreover, no emotional attachment to the ones u bonk.

Your wife would hurt less if she knew u were whoremongering than to have an illicit affair.

[korg2020]

Just wondering if there are any other brothers out there to share their experience? I am not asking anyone to support or disagree with my decisions but just wanted to know there are also someone out there going through the same experience. Thanks

[grouchycabi]

Originally Posted by Marblecat

Well, I just couldn't resist writing a reply even if TS may not be reading this any longer. "Looking for good advice"? hahaha. No no no. You're looking for people to support your delusions. You're not looking for advice or answers, just replies that fit an outcome you already want.

I'm trying not to sound judgemental here, but really, if you have decided what to do, then do it anyway. Don't beat around the bush. The fact that you are not hints that there may be a decent voice of sanity screaming though the fog in your brains.

Right now, your behaviour can be best summed up as irresponsible, selfish, and of more practical implications - unrealistic. You are not looking to have your cake and eat it - you want the whole damn bakery. And to gorge yourself, then vomit and eat more.

You want the thrill and the illicit excitement of having a secret liaison, the exquisite angst of being in love and yet having true love being denied, of romance without consequence, of lust without constraint, of emotional highs without rational consideration, the SHEER high of something new. But you also want the stability of a home, the security of a doormat, the comfort of family, the succour of familarity, the SHEER stability of something you may complain about, but in which you are absolutely sure of and can be truly yourself.

Be honest, neither you nor your lover are being honest (and I don't mean to your respective spouses). To each other or yourself. Are you really showing the real you to her? really? And you think you are seeing the real her? Both of you are indulging in a fantasy world. if you had to live with each other, if a genie would be to grant what is supposedly your deepest wish and whisk you away to be together, I guarantee you 90% of the attraction would vapourise the second the affair becomes an open accepted relationship - the illicit excitement that is feeding both of you would be gone. Then, over time, the grind of reality in daily life would take care of whatever foolish notions of romance you have. Google for info and you will find that over 90% of re-marriages from affair partners end up in further divorces. Wanna guess why?

The "chemistry", the "connection", the emotional closeness you feel is very real to you, that I understand, but it is also illusory. It's based on an environment that cannot be realistically obtained in real life. You can actually have the same chemistry again with your wife, but it takes work, and work is never the preferred option when you can blame somebody else. Go google PEA. That's the chemical that's screwing with you right now. It'll go away soon. IF you can go cold turkey.

I can add more if you really want to see through your options. But if you're just looking for validation for what your heart and dick wants to do, don't waste time, your own and others'. I'll say this much - in the throes of your most passionate, shiok encounters possible together (as someone put it - in a couple spa for instance), at the height of your "chemistry", if you were taken aside and faced your child alone, and made to hear the hurt and bewilderment of not even anything abusive but a simple "Why, Pa? What are you doing?" That tongue in your mouth is gonna feel like sawdust.

Good luck.

Very well said. Solid England!

[kgbkgb]

Originally Posted by korg2020

Thanks for all your feedback....just wondering in this small island of Singapore, is there really someone out there who is fulfilling his duties as a father yet having a true extra marital relationship with another married person whom he or she can confide in?

The simple answer to yr question is YES, Yes and YES. Plentiful. But, how does it matter if anyone else is in the same boat?? More imptly, what do u want to do with yr life? How do u want to move on from here? It's abt choices and of cos consequences. U are too afraid to leave a bad r/s yet too afraid to carry on with a new r/s. Man, u hv to make a stand..