Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[CPTMiller]

Yes.
It has been quite a while.
Cheers......

Originally Posted by SingViet

Nice to have you around again bro. Been quite some time since we last interacted here in the forum.

[ekemono]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

So I believe my VN galfriend wants me to be baptised and has a sacramental marriage.

I can be baptized in any Catholic church in Sillypore right?
How long will I need?

I really need to talk to some Catholics on this liao

well you can't walk in and ask to be baptised.
You need to attend a preparation course. It was the same for most church.
And baptisiam may be limited to only fixed period in a year, usually Christmas day or mid year June.

[maxrex]

KangTuo, already PM you regarding Catholic preparation and wedding. I can help you on that since my Vietnamese wife and I are Catholic and registered marriage in church in Saigon.

[nitin]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

Sillypore man not scared of wife...
Sillypore man REPSECT wife...

sound familiar...from the movie Ipman

世上没有怕女人。。。只有尊敬女人

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by nitin

sound familiar...from the movie Ipman

世上没有怕女人。。。只有尊敬女人

Yes. Other the fighting in that movie.

The phrase that caught me is this

[Coolman_friend]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Another typical vietnamese con job. This type of con job is very normal amongst the vietnamese ladies who have foreigner bf. For the last few years, i have got to know a few singaporean man who was conned by vietnamese gf who used the same tricks.

When i married my wife several years ago, she asked for US$6k from me to build a house in her province for her parents. But the marriage is not just that US$6k. After that, it took me a few years to trust my wife as i discovered that her mum took quite a fair share of the money i gave. its always a risk involved. after marrying my wife, i had the first 2 years filled with lots of argument, but i was determined to change that by bringing her to singapore. One of the most sickening thing that i cannot tahan of them is that even if my wife and i know that her relative has cheated us of money, we are not allowed to voice out our displeasure. I really hate this!! Kanna conned must still keep quiet?

After coming to singapore, my wife was exposed to many things and situations that she has never encountered before. I took the many opportunities to talk to her and explain to her. Thru time, my wife learnt a lot. At the same time, i also took the chance to convince her that her mother is not interested in her at all, just interested in her money. The thing that changed everything is when my wife is really convinced that her mum doesn't dote on my twin daughters at all. This made my wife really very disappointed. Nowadays, my wife will never ask me to send money to her parents. Its me that will request to send some pocket money to her parents.

brothers, don't only listen to your dickhead. Vietnamese ladies know that singaporean man are always easily led on by sex and sex is a very normal thing for the normal vietnamese lady. Sex will lead us on and make us part with our hard earned money. Don't be eager to commit totally. It will take time understand a person and the amount of time needed to understand a lady from a different country and culture is surely much more. Its always cheaper to buy sex than to get conned

Bro Singviet,

Thanks for your guidance and advise .I have not been posting in your thread for sometime and one thing i would like to makeup is that i have already resumed back my relationship with GF.
Communication is truly a barrier as we are not able to fully understand each other well. I have recently attended my cousin wedding in HCM and also in the countryside with my parents and relative as well as my GF which she also get to know my cousin and his wife when my GF was in singapore with me. When i arrived in HCM hotel day before my cousin wedding day , i have not called my GF as i'm thinking of not seeing her anymore but since i have promised to bring her to my cousin wedding , i asked her to come over to HCM while she is still in Dongnai . She did not hesitate and took a 3 to 4 hrs ride jounery to HCM and meet me . I told myself maybe i can take this opportunity to ask her to give me an explanation.

During my cousin wedding dinner which is held at Dong Phuong in HCM, i feel so envied for my cousin to marry such a nice girl and yes she is indeed a nice girl i ever known and always tell my cousin if my GF can be like her , i will be glad to marry her immediately. The wedding dinner probably finished at around 10pm which is slight earlier than singapore. After that we returned to our hotel and during the whole night in the the hotel room , i was so angry with her that i don't even want to hug her to sleep , not even think of making love. Later my cousin and his newly wed wife invite us and my parents and relatives for supper at night. I didn't even want to call my gf to tag along as i decided to break-off with her already. I invited her to my cousin wedding is because i promised her and also my cousin's wife and also want to let her know we singapore man is not so heartless and iresponsible.
The next day i asked her to go back to dongnai and tell her this would be the last time we met and whatever i given her just treat as i lost in gambling.
I can tell she is very upset and also feel like crying , but vietnam girl prefer soft approach , if you are hard to them , they can be very nasty and just call a cab and leave you. Well i told her to bid farewell to my parents and happen that my parents have went shopping not long ago.
When she get into the car , i told her you sure want to leave now and not say farewell to my parent. In a just minute, i know everything is going to be over and so be it.
After she left for about 20 min, my parents come back to the hotel room and immediately i call her on mobile when she was about ot change her new sim card. if i have not call her in a that moment , i think i will not be able to hear from her again. I feel so lost when she is gone just like that and i'm ao angry with her that i didn't have time to hear her explanation. When she recieved my call , she know that i still love her and immediately she asked the cab to take her back to the hotel , wasted $20 for that trip, but better than to lose her forever. I hugged her when she returned and told her how can be so cruel after been through with you for so long about 1 yrs plus. Since than she did told me she sometime lie to me but have not been unfaithful to me cause in her cafe she get to chat with many guys when i was there also and because she is not able to explain to me clearly in english and that depend on my cousin wife who can speak quite well english and become our translantor. They are very easy to chit chat with anyone , be it guys or gays as i guess this is their culture when i was there. Partially of that she decided me to setup a clothing shop for her to sell lady wears so that she would not have many guys around.
Many doubts are clear after this trip and we have a fun and wonderful time there. But one things for sure is that they are the sole breadwinner in the family and they really put this priority before you as they need to take care their poor parents and sibling before they can think of you first.
The cafe business is able to sustain their daily expenses like food and rental , but cannot really make money out of it. So if there is any major disaster in the family , like operations or accident . they are not able to fork out the sum of money. After understand her plight , i have given her some money to setup another business in selling clothing and accessory which turn out to be more profitable and she is feel more happy now since i call her everyday. From this moment i realise why i hate and love vietnamese girl so much. sorry for a bit long winded....

[haojian]

Anyone can recommend a trustworthy viet marriage agency in singapore???


1) genuine brides that are family oriented. virgins prefered.

2) helps to apply for long term visa for wife.

3) help train in mandarin/english.

is there sure a agency or am i asking too much?

thank you

[Torres_Mok]

Originally Posted by haojian

Anyone can recommend a trustworthy viet marriage agency in singapore???


1) genuine brides that are family oriented. virgins prefered.

2) helps to apply for long term visa for wife.

3) help train in mandarin/english.

is there sure a agency or am i asking too much?

thank you

there is no such thing as trustworthy viet marriage agency, all are blood suckers.

[Hanoi-Kid]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Actually, i had a chat with my wife some time ago about vietnamese gals. the question i asked her was.."Are vietnamese gals who chose to work as WLs different from normal vietnamese gals?" well, as expected , we had a long discussion from this question..

To my wife, there is only 2 types of VN gals - the good ones and the bad ones.

She dun see Vn gals as WL or non WL. For she sees the difference being a choice in jobs. And to add on, no Vn gals chose to be WLs as a career(life-long). Therefore there is no case to comment on a VN gal who has once or sometime in her life chosen to go the path of a WL. Instead the discussion should be on good Vn gals vs bad Vn gals.

Her argument is if the Vn gal is someone who belongs to the good category, she may have chosen to be a WL but ultimately that is short term solution to their short-term problem and more often than not, in their heart, they are still good vn gals.

On the other hand, the bad Vn gals will still be bad even if they did not work as Wls. These bad vn gals who are not WLs may be using the same tricks on guys they know at pubs, discos etc. They have the same motive as bad Vn gals who chose to work as WLs. Maybe only in name, they seemed more 'high class'. Thats about the difference.

During her times, when she was still working as a Wl, it was easy to know who were the 'suckers' of man. At that time, their community was small and news spread fast in their network, never mind that they are working in different places. Most of these 'suckers' usually are gals who came here to work because they want more money for themselves and their own desires of life. No underlying reasons such as family needs etc. And often, they belong to the gambling group who will spend more time at some places gambling than at pubs working. you normally only see them at work religiously like gals who needs the money, when they have a bad streak at the gambling sessions and needs nore money.

So during her time, things were not that complicated. However she did admit that some Singapore guys are real carrots! Super real carrots! They would offer to bring them shopping at expensive places like Taka and Paragon....without the gals asking...so if they meet with the good gals who normally dun know what Gucci are, then they are lucky for they may get away with just one or two purcahses..... but if they meet with one of these 'suckers', who's to be blame when these gals change Gucci bags like changing underwear?

Now, she thinks most Viet Wls will resort to KC-ing and getting more money because:

1.)things in Vietnam is getting much much more expensive unlike during her working days.

2.)Viet Wls are everywhere now. It is a case of supply more than demand thus every gal will have to fight for a share of our chionging population.

3.)The ppl that bring or intro them the kang tao to work are getting more organised and taking more cuts.

4.) it is no longer a case of this month earn less go back two weeks come again. Now its harder to come here cos of tight immigration rules.

Therefore she thinks that men have to be really careful now cos money has become a bigger issue than 5 years ago for Wls. Even good gals need money now to cover house rentals, tickets, agent fees...

So to cut a long story short, You have to be careful when you are out there! i think i took a lot of short cuts in writing this post but i hope that i was able to bring my idea across..

HI Bro,

thanks for the post,,,from my own personal experience many moons ago, I was with my ex Vn gf and jalan in shopping centre and we wandered into a Taka jewellery,,she went to the 'discounted' section have a look than bought some costume jewellery for her family,,,and i told her to get one of nicer jewellery for herself,,and she said no, not nice..than I pointed to another discounted section which we missed and she chose a pendant,,for 30bucks,..i paid for her,...and she paid me back for the stuff for her family,,,and she was a HCMC gal..

Now just recently in my trip to hanoi,,,the few 'northern' gals that i dated, they seem quite conservative with $$...like they suggest the cheaper places to eat,,and eat in market, road side stall and we have tea by the road side too,,and it was the gals suggestions,,,I only suggest the expansive place,,and during Women's day, i was out with a gal and wanted to buy her flowers and she also rejected as saying its a waste of money,,so i bought her Kem (ice cream) from road side stall instead.

So about the 'carrot head' singaporeans,,maybe i am the luckier one who manage to date the more conservative gals...and my vn frens also say that a normal vn gal is like that,,very conservative with money,,good at bargaining wont anyhow buy things,,,that is why i am very attracted to Vn gals,,even though my previous relationships did not work out,,i am still quite game to get a good Vn gal..at least with this experience i have a clearer picture on the type of gal to look out for,,,

any bros have Vn gals lobang in Hanoi?

[Hanoi-Kid]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Another typical vietnamese con job. This type of con job is very normal amongst the vietnamese ladies who have foreigner bf. For the last few years, i have got to know a few singaporean man who was conned by vietnamese gf who used the same tricks.

When i married my wife several years ago, she asked for US$6k from me to build a house in her province for her parents. But the marriage is not just that US$6k. After that, it took me a few years to trust my wife as i discovered that her mum took quite a fair share of the money i gave. its always a risk involved. after marrying my wife, i had the first 2 years filled with lots of argument, but i was determined to change that by bringing her to singapore. One of the most sickening thing that i cannot tahan of them is that even if my wife and i know that her relative has cheated us of money, we are not allowed to voice out our displeasure. I really hate this!! Kanna conned must still keep quiet?

After coming to singapore, my wife was exposed to many things and situations that she has never encountered before. I took the many opportunities to talk to her and explain to her. Thru time, my wife learnt a lot. At the same time, i also took the chance to convince her that her mother is not interested in her at all, just interested in her money. The thing that changed everything is when my wife is really convinced that her mum doesn't dote on my twin daughters at all. This made my wife really very disappointed. Nowadays, my wife will never ask me to send money to her parents. Its me that will request to send some pocket money to her parents.

brothers, don't only listen to your dickhead. Vietnamese ladies know that singaporean man are always easily led on by sex and sex is a very normal thing for the normal vietnamese lady. Sex will lead us on and make us part with our hard earned money. Don't be eager to commit totally. It will take time understand a person and the amount of time needed to understand a lady from a different country and culture is surely much more. Its always cheaper to buy sex than to get conned

Hi Bro Singviet,,

good job on you educating your wife,,at least now u are in a better situation now as your wife is now more supportive of u...I am also surprise about the earlier hard ships u face with your in laws,,,I asked my Vn frens( they are locals who are married) and Vn gal frens about what is expected from a guy,,,and they all same thing,,,must be family guy and able to support the family,,,the 'family' being the wife and kids,,,in laws dont come into consideration at all,,even a SOuth gal tell me that,,,

One of my Vn guy frens says that his in laws give him alot of support for him and his wife,,,and he is very greatful to them..so from what you have encountered,,,the people in VN like in all places have extremes,,,

And from the VN gals I dated,,they want to know if I am in a position to look after the family(in laws not counted),,its a common question ask by gals,,,and that is the minimum requirement,,,,so with my previous experiences,,i believe a good Vn gal will make a good wife,,,I dont see SPore gals being this 'nice'..spore gals are definately more demanding,,,

[Hanoi-Kid]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

The gals have NO choice, if they have a heavy family burden.

A gal w/o education and work a normal job. Salary is only $180+/-
What can they do with this amount if father and mother always sick and younger siblings are still schooling, pay rental in HCMC, etc? These demands come frequently...

The only way out is to work in KTV, massage parlour, beer om and other sleazy joint.

Bro retsoor, you say that there is a choice, what choices you thought of? what kind of work?

Hi Bro KT and all other bros,,,

from my post i guess u bros can deduce my views on Vn gals,,,and they have been pretty positive. and I just realise one common factor about the gals I went out with,,,they are not rich and some from the provinces,,but in the provinces, their family have a house and land,,,and the gals are educated with degrees,,,so I guess for my case,,the gals family background and education is a very big factor,,,

[Hanoi-Kid]

Originally Posted by Coolman_friend

Bro Singviet,

Thanks for your guidance and advise .I have not been posting in your thread for sometime and one thing i would like to makeup is that i have already resumed back my relationship with GF.
Communication is truly a barrier as we are not able to fully understand each other well. I have recently attended my cousin wedding in HCM and also in the countryside with my parents and relative as well as my GF which she also get to know my cousin and his wife when my GF was in singapore with me. When i arrived in HCM hotel day before my cousin wedding day , i have not called my GF as i'm thinking of not seeing her anymore but since i have promised to bring her to my cousin wedding , i asked her to come over to HCM while she is still in Dongnai . She did not hesitate and took a 3 to 4 hrs ride jounery to HCM and meet me . I told myself maybe i can take this opportunity to ask her to give me an explanation.

During my cousin wedding dinner which is held at Dong Phuong in HCM, i feel so envied for my cousin to marry such a nice girl and yes she is indeed a nice girl i ever known and always tell my cousin if my GF can be like her , i will be glad to marry her immediately. The wedding dinner probably finished at around 10pm which is slight earlier than singapore. After that we returned to our hotel and during the whole night in the the hotel room , i was so angry with her that i don't even want to hug her to sleep , not even think of making love. Later my cousin and his newly wed wife invite us and my parents and relatives for supper at night. I didn't even want to call my gf to tag along as i decided to break-off with her already. I invited her to my cousin wedding is because i promised her and also my cousin's wife and also want to let her know we singapore man is not so heartless and iresponsible.
The next day i asked her to go back to dongnai and tell her this would be the last time we met and whatever i given her just treat as i lost in gambling.
I can tell she is very upset and also feel like crying , but vietnam girl prefer soft approach , if you are hard to them , they can be very nasty and just call a cab and leave you. Well i told her to bid farewell to my parents and happen that my parents have went shopping not long ago.
When she get into the car , i told her you sure want to leave now and not say farewell to my parent. In a just minute, i know everything is going to be over and so be it.
After she left for about 20 min, my parents come back to the hotel room and immediately i call her on mobile when she was about ot change her new sim card. if i have not call her in a that moment , i think i will not be able to hear from her again. I feel so lost when she is gone just like that and i'm ao angry with her that i didn't have time to hear her explanation. When she recieved my call , she know that i still love her and immediately she asked the cab to take her back to the hotel , wasted $20 for that trip, but better than to lose her forever. I hugged her when she returned and told her how can be so cruel after been through with you for so long about 1 yrs plus. Since than she did told me she sometime lie to me but have not been unfaithful to me cause in her cafe she get to chat with many guys when i was there also and because she is not able to explain to me clearly in english and that depend on my cousin wife who can speak quite well english and become our translantor. They are very easy to chit chat with anyone , be it guys or gays as i guess this is their culture when i was there. Partially of that she decided me to setup a clothing shop for her to sell lady wears so that she would not have many guys around.
Many doubts are clear after this trip and we have a fun and wonderful time there. But one things for sure is that they are the sole breadwinner in the family and they really put this priority before you as they need to take care their poor parents and sibling before they can think of you first.
The cafe business is able to sustain their daily expenses like food and rental , but cannot really make money out of it. So if there is any major disaster in the family , like operations or accident . they are not able to fork out the sum of money. After understand her plight , i have given her some money to setup another business in selling clothing and accessory which turn out to be more profitable and she is feel more happy now since i call her everyday. From this moment i realise why i hate and love vietnamese girl so much. sorry for a bit long winded....

Hey Coolman,

all the best to your re-kindled relationship...and just my 2 'Dong' worth, yes i also realise that Vn gals are very easy to chat up with other guys and gals and its normal,,my married Vn guy frens also go out with alot of gals,,,but its strictly platonic,,,,and i know of gals and guys living together in the same house,,,guys one room and gals the other,,rent is expansive in Hanoi so they have to share,,,but I do not think any hanky panky goes on.

Another scenario was. I was with this gal and she is a relative of a fren intro to me,,so we went out but could not talk much as her english very limited,,,and her cantonese also jia liat,,,and she is a very shy gal,,her family very strict with her,,,when she in school and uni,,,had to go home straight away after school,,cannot go out at night and so on,,,but in the cab she chat with the taxi driver like no tomorrow,,,and its pretty normal,,even for conservative gals,,,(i told my fren about this and was told is pretty normal)

bottom line is their attitudes are abit different,,but does not mean they not faithful or having affairs,,but also,,as in all things,,,caution is advised and safety is number 1,, cannot control too tight as will lead to problems in the relationship,,but also have to be sure the gal is not fooling around,,so as not wear to green hat,,,

its a balancing act,,,but so is all relationships,,all the best to u and your gal,,,

[NewandLost]

Originally Posted by SingViet

How many brothers who have married Viet WL but is still afriad that their wife will meet other viet / singapore man ? how much do you trust yr viet wife? Let's be frank about it and no need to be hero It took me almost 4 years to trust my wife, but even till today, trust is capped at 75%.... As i know that her family is always up to tricks to disturb our family ....

my god is it worth the torture?

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Hanoi-Kid

they seem quite conservative with $$...like they suggest the cheaper places to eat,,and eat in market, road side stall and we have tea by the road side too,,and it was the gals suggestions,,,

If you found the right kind of gal then you are in luck and they will help to save by eating and shopping at cheaper places...

Originally Posted by NewandLost

my god is it worth the torture?

well, this is very subjective...in the 4 years, SingViet is oso enjoying himself because his wife is able to look after his family and him well...

[69ASIMO69]

hi bros... who can advise please?

1) Once we got ROM with our VN GF, will they be allow to extend their visa till they get their long term pass or they will have a limit of how many times extention and have to go back before coming back again.

2) I got this situation here. Me and my GF comes to Singapore on 12 March, we getting married on 10 May. If i were to do a extention on internet, they got this clause that she has to goes out of the country for 5 days at least. So what must i do inorder not to return back to Vietnam as we find it a waste of money? Will ICA allow special extention, then we get ROM on 10 MAY and sequently from there i can bring her to ICA to extend monthly till she gets her long term pass for the 1st stage.