Matters of the Heart.Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.
Looks like you have found yourself a good girl. But do not let your guard down. You mention she can have a written condition that if she divorce with you, she will not get anything. I suggest is please do that. Better still if you can enaged a lawyer to do that to make it offical by law, so that you can be abit protected. Observe what is her reaction when doing so.
Is she based here in singapore currently. eg on student pass or S pass. or such? If she is based here, try to stay with her for a period. This way you observe her daily activites and who she normally contact with. Any amiss, you will mostly know. Also this way can give you two a "trial period' whether you able to get used to each other living style or know. Her living style and culture in china may be totally different with yours. Can use this period to get used to her living style. Afterall after marriage, you 2 will be staying with each other.
Brother, that is wonderful advice for the young brother. Two years would probably be a minimum time frame to get to know each other and for potential red flags and problems to surface. It's better for them to surface and for him to say this wont work than to rush into things and wed only to divorce. The brother needs to dermine why this woman is not taken already if she is so wonderful and also take a hard look at himself and ask why she is interested in him. Things like thinking one has a big dick and is very handsome shoud not be factored in and in fact is pure stupidity. What is the it factor that this brother holds that is attracing this woman to mate wiht him?
May we ask what is the woman's occupation past and present? If KTV etc. then all bets are off.
Looks like you have found yourself a good girl. But do not let your guard down. You mention she can have a written condition that if she divorce with you, she will not get anything. I suggest is please do that. Better still if you can enaged a lawyer to do that to make it offical by law, so that you can be abit protected. Observe what is her reaction when doing so.
Is she based here in singapore currently. eg on student pass or S pass. or such? If she is based here, try to stay with her for a period. This way you observe her daily activites and who she normally contact with. Any amiss, you will mostly know. Also this way can give you two a "trial period' whether you able to get used to each other living style or know. Her living style and culture in china may be totally different with yours. Can use this period to get used to her living style. Afterall after marriage, you 2 will be staying with each other.
She is staying in China all along and a normal working class there earning 2k RMB... One year depend on my working trip and I will visit her if i have the time. Her family teaching is very strict so normally after 7pm her parents will never let her go out. Every day she will sms me and call me telling me she's back home and if she goes out she will ask for my permission etc... Whenever she's at home , she will 'ON' the webcam so as to prove she is staying at home. Every month, her pay will be kept by her mother and her mother will gave her pocket money (Mom fork out her own money) so she will alway update me and show me her bank monthly statement. ( Save all the money for her to come to SG)
Ever since she was with me , I see she trying damn hard to adapt to my bad temper and my love to be pampered attitude.
Longest I ever stay with her was CNY for 14 days. Every morning, she will buy breakfast for me , wash my clothing, clean my shoe and even prepare the winter clothing for me. All I need to go there just to bring myself there and some money of less than 2000RMB (2 weeks)
Her family strongly against living together before marriage, so i dont think can trial on this... Although she is 2 yrs my junior, she really take care of me like as thought like she was senior than me...
May we ask what is the woman's occupation past and present? If KTV etc. then all bets are off.
Sorry for my long boring story because somehow I feel that SBF full alot of experienced and wonder brothers which gave very worthy advice.
She used to work in hotel industry as a accounts clerk for a year until her mother forced her to leave the job when she get to know the whole dept alway smoke their way to get more money into their pocket, of coz she get also ( monthly bring home ard 4000~6000RMB). Now currently she is working in China Unicom as a customer service manager ( Her mother arrange her to get in by using "back door"). Practically she is a mother's gal becoz even when we were together, when reach 830 she already wanna to slp. By 9pm then reach home her mother will call and call... Her parents told me a good family teaching for her will give her gd husband and gd family.
Just a brief description of the family. Retired Father every month had 2500RMB for pension. Her mom is a medical hall manager and now starting to setup her own business.
I am her 2nd BF and her previous r/s lasted for 3 yrs... All along I thought she was no long a V until that very day I bonk her... Her parents only get to know her previous BF after they are together for 3 years and her parents strongly against him...BTW her ex BF was 90% of the time not in the town.
When I initially get to know her, she was really damn arrogant type. Damn Damn Damn suck up patially due to the family background, spend money like water like that. Initially when we were together, she demand me to have an amount of $$$, house and car before we could get marry. She also demand she will not cook, wash clothing or do any household chores and lots of rules. So my thought was just to Bonk her and F.O (she told me if I love her, I will be able to wait till the date we marry then we can have sex~WTF!) . But after months of getting together and bonk her for the first time( 5days before i return to SG) she was like 180 degress change in her mindset. Took gd care of me when I was with her, help me to save $$$, eat at her place, source for the best budget hotel etc...I was telling her how PRC reputation in SG and she initiate why not get a lawyer and my parents to withness the written condition of when we divorce, she will get nothing. (Unless I eat outside), She told me after we ROM, she will include my name into her current house which gave by her parents. She working very hard to communicate with her parents how wedding going to be done in SG and her parents also truly agree. Frm the start, her parents knew that I am just a normal guy from a very normal family. Whenever I go there, her dad just hope I can buy cigrette for him and her mother only wants the tiger brand medical oil (cost me less than SGD100). her parents also insist next year CNY she must visit my parents and all the expenses will be covered by her parents. She will apply her own visa here also.
So far till now, I never really spend alot of $$$ on her... except my cum...haha~ She will alway make sure she feed me until my little brother cannot cum before really let me rest. She said when I am is full, probability of me eating outside will be zero. Can really feel she try very hard to please me becoz I will alway request for CIM, COF, BBBJ, COB, cum in her and drink my cum... Haha, see her face very relunctant to do it, but she will just keep quiet and please me. Last visit was 2 mths ago, now she turned to a tigress eats me upside down... All I do was to lie down...
Being with her for close to 2 years, really need brothers down here to help me anaylsis am I dreaming or another KC trap ... I strongly believe your will see better than me...because I had fallen into the love river.
She is staying in China all along and a normal working class there earning 2k RMB... One year depend on my working trip and I will visit her if i have the time. Her family teaching is very strict so normally after 7pm her parents will never let her go out. Every day she will sms me and call me telling me she's back home and if she goes out she will ask for my permission etc... Whenever she's at home , she will 'ON' the webcam so as to prove she is staying at home. Every month, her pay will be kept by her mother and her mother will gave her pocket money (Mom fork out her own money) so she will alway update me and show me her bank monthly statement. ( Save all the money for her to come to SG)
Ever since she was with me , I see she trying damn hard to adapt to my bad temper and my love to be pampered attitude.
Longest I ever stay with her was CNY for 14 days. Every morning, she will buy breakfast for me , wash my clothing, clean my shoe and even prepare the winter clothing for me. All I need to go there just to bring myself there and some money of less than 2000RMB (2 weeks)
Her family strongly against living together before marriage, so i dont think can trial on this... Although she is 2 yrs my junior, she really take care of me like as thought like she was senior than me...
Brother, she sounds really sweet but you only stayed with her for 14 days total? How many trips have you made? OR has she made? You need a period of 2 years minimum IMO. In 14 days anyone can put on an act. BTW this is not the common PRC girl. Could be a set up.
Brother, she sounds really sweet but you only stayed with her for 14 days total? How many trips have you made? OR has she made? You need a period of 2 years minimum IMO. In 14 days anyone can put on an act. BTW this is not the common PRC girl. Could be a set up.
Sorry I did not state it properly. I visited her 4times last year and 4 times this year, length of stay for 7~9days for each trip. The longest stay will be at CNY, 14 totals...
Sorry for my long boring story because somehow I feel that SBF full alot of experienced and wonder brothers which gave very worthy advice.
She used to work in hotel industry as a accounts clerk for a year until her mother forced her to leave the job when she get to know the whole dept alway smoke their way to get more money into their pocket, of coz she get also ( monthly bring home ard 4000~6000RMB). Now currently she is working in China Unicom as a customer service manager ( Her mother arrange her to get in by using "back door"). Practically she is a mother's gal becoz even when we were together, when reach 830 she already wanna to slp. By 9pm then reach home her mother will call and call... Her parents told me a good family teaching for her will give her gd husband and gd family.
Just a brief description of the family. Retired Father every month had 2500RMB for pension. Her mom is a medical hall manager and now starting to setup her own business.
I am her 2nd BF and her previous r/s lasted for 3 yrs... All along I thought she was no long a V until that very day I bonk her... Her parents only get to know her previous BF after they are together for 3 years and her parents strongly against him...BTW her ex BF was 90% of the time not in the town.
When I initially get to know her, she was really damn arrogant type. Damn Damn Damn suck up patially due to the family background, spend money like water like that. Initially when we were together, she demand me to have an amount of $$$, house and car before we could get marry. She also demand she will not cook, wash clothing or do any household chores and lots of rules. So my thought was just to Bonk her and F.O (she told me if I love her, I will be able to wait till the date we marry then we can have sex~WTF!) . But after months of getting together and bonk her for the first time( 5days before i return to SG) she was like 180 degress change in her mindset. Took gd care of me when I was with her, help me to save $$$, eat at her place, source for the best budget hotel etc...I was telling her how PRC reputation in SG and she initiate why not get a lawyer and my parents to withness the written condition of when we divorce, she will get nothing. (Unless I eat outside), She told me after we ROM, she will include my name into her current house which gave by her parents. She working very hard to communicate with her parents how wedding going to be done in SG and her parents also truly agree. Frm the start, her parents knew that I am just a normal guy from a very normal family. Whenever I go there, her dad just hope I can buy cigrette for him and her mother only wants the tiger brand medical oil (cost me less than SGD100). her parents also insist next year CNY she must visit my parents and all the expenses will be covered by her parents. She will apply her own visa here also.
So far till now, I never really spend alot of $$$ on her... except my cum...haha~ She will alway make sure she feed me until my little brother cannot cum before really let me rest. She said when I am is full, probability of me eating outside will be zero. Can really feel she try very hard to please me becoz I will alway request for CIM, COF, BBBJ, COB, cum in her and drink my cum... Haha, see her face very relunctant to do it, but she will just keep quiet and please me. Last visit was 2 mths ago, now she turned to a tigress eats me upside down... All I do was to lie down...
Being with her for close to 2 years, really need brothers down here to help me anaylsis am I dreaming or another KC trap ... I strongly believe your will see better than me...because I had fallen into the love river.
I find some of the points you say very amiss.
Point 1:
Ever find out why her parents disagree with her relationship with her previous BF? Cause her ex-bf also like you don't see her often. If the parents is because the reason that he is not always with her that cause the disliking in her ex bf, then how come they have a liking for you when you overall saw them 14 days.
Point 2:
From what you say about how her parents treat your gf, it seems that they are very protective over her. If they are very protective, how can they allow you to marry her in just 14 days of meeting? Doesn't they worry about how you going to treat her in future?
Point 3:
you say you girl was very arrogant type intially demand this demand that. But just one bonk, she changed immediately. Ever ask why she treat you like tat in the start? Everyone can put an act. And do you know that in china it is very very common for them to eat invite their common frends to their house to eat and sometimes even stay a few days, to show their hospitality? It is a very common act. Dun be over happy that just because she ask you to go over to her house to eat or stay, means they accept you in. They can do that to any common frends.
Point 4:
You also mention she spend money like water. But just one bonk, she become very thrifty. How can a person change her spending habit just like that? Did you observe her room and what she buy when you not around? She can act she is very thrifty in front of you but behind you is it the same spending habit? Observe how she save for herself, not for you. Cause that is the real her.
Point 5:
Try to find out her mum business sliently. Is it doing well, or at least picking up? Try to strike a simple conversation about her mum business with her parents, or with her and observe. Look out for words between words. If possible go and see the shop yourself, if possible a few times. Cause if it is not doing well, then you may in the deep shit in when you marry her. She will expect you to help her mum, using you are her son-in-law as a excuse.
Lastly
I suggest you dun rash to marriage when only such short period of meeting. Ask if she willingly to work here first, stay together with her. Bring her to see your parents if you want to during this period. Let her adapt to the culture here first and also you can observe her.
Remember, when overseas a person can do whatever she want at overseas and not answer to her family members. But in china there is alway her parents she had to think of. That why there are a lot of china girls over here whose parents or husband do not know what they are actually doing here. On paper she is working as beautician, but they never know what they actually doing for living here. By bringing her will see what is the real her, or real motive of her marrying you.
Sorry to bring alot of negative thoughts to you. But I hope my observation will bring some help to you, and bring down your risk factor to the minium. Dun flame me if all my observation seems rubbish, or irrelavant to you.
Brother, regarding #2 I thought it was uncommon for a male to be invited to meet a females parents especially in thier home unless there is romance. Same for sex, meaning a woman would not give your her virginity unless you will marry her. Brother, I think the brother is being set up major KC about to break out and the brother is in over his head.
Ever find out why her parents disagree with her relationship with her previous BF? Cause her ex-bf also like you don't see her often. If the parents is because the reason that he is not always with her that cause the disliking in her ex bf, then how come they have a liking for you when you overall saw them 14 days.
The reason why her parents dont like her ex-bf due to his ex-bf came from a very wealthy family and alot of things happen between then which very hectic to elaborate here. My main thing is that my gf told me she caught him eaat outside 2 times and reason being saying she never fulfill his needs. Her ex-bf sound break up after knowing her parents wanted to send her oversea for studies. Ended up also never go due to conflict between her mother and father.
Point 2:
From what you say about how her parents treat your gf, it seems that they are very protective over her. If they are very protective, how can they allow you to marry her in just 14 days of meeting? Doesn't they worry about how you going to treat her in future?
I get to know her when I was left last 3 months internship there. As my last job requires to travel to China 50%, so make full use of time to meet her. I only manage to meet her parents 8 months in our r/s. When first met her mother ( business women), she never speak to me or so. Dinner with my gf uncle who is also a businessman in China. Thoughout the dinner, they practically speak to me less than 10 sentences. After subsquence meeting, her mother is treating me better. At least now her mother alway will drive me from and to airport. Save $$$ on taxi...
Point 3:
you say you girl was very arrogant type intially demand this demand that. But just one bonk, she changed immediately. Ever ask why she treat you like tat in the start? Everyone can put an act. And do you know that in china it is very very common for them to eat invite their common frends to their house to eat and sometimes even stay a few days, to show their hospitality? It is a very common act. Dun be over happy that just because she ask you to go over to her house to eat or stay, means they accept you in. They can do that to any common frends.
1st dinner was with her family , 2nd dinner with her mother employees (CNY dinner for her company) and was introduced as her daughter bf. second Not say all, but at that time in order to eat her, of coz i will suit her tame her whatever she said. After the bonking session, whenever I dont feel happy I will just sound out not in a very good tone ( I had bad temper, real bad which cause failure in my previous r/s)
Point 4:
You also mention she spend money like water. But just one bonk, she become very thrifty. How can a person change her spending habit just like that? Did you observe her room and what she buy when you not around? She can act she is very thrifty in front of you but behind you is it the same spending habit? Observe how she save for herself, not for you. Cause that is the real her.
Same as the reason above, I will just scold her because she buy her new cloths very week, not my money. So far we shared any China bank account which allows us to draw and deposit money either in China or SG without any service charge. Now the account had 6000RMB, all her money. She never had any access to my SG account.
Point 5:
Try to find out her mum business sliently. Is it doing well, or at least picking up? Try to strike a simple conversation about her mum business with her parents, or with her and observe. Look out for words between words. If possible go and see the shop yourself, if possible a few times. Cause if it is not doing well, then you may in the deep shit in when you marry her. She will expect you to help her mum, using you are her son-in-law as a excuse.
Whenever I visit her, I will alway pay a visit to her mother medical hall. Business is gd, recently her mother brought a new car (Ford Focus, not ex but better than china car), now planning to get another house in 3 years time for their retirement. They current house located in the near their governor bulidings and tourist spot, environment very beautiful. Best is whenever I return to SG, her mother will prepare those ginseng for me to bring home for my parents but my parents dont know thought I specially buy for them.
Lastly
I suggest you dun rash to marriage when only such short period of meeting. Ask if she willingly to work here first, stay together with her. Bring her to see your parents if you want to during this period. Let her adapt to the culture here first and also you can observe her.
Remember, when overseas a person can do whatever she want at overseas and not answer to her family members. But in china there is alway her parents she had to think of. That why there are a lot of china girls over here whose parents or husband do not know what they are actually doing here. On paper she is working as beautician, but they never know what they actually doing for living here. By bringing her will see what is the real her, or real motive of her marrying you.
Sorry to bring alot of negative thoughts to you. But I hope my observation will bring some help to you, and bring down your risk factor to the minium. Dun flame me if all my observation seems rubbish, or irrelavant to you.
Good luck!
No worries, partially I also never state things down clearly and often I would said fact is alway very cruel. Short pain is alway better than a long pain... haha
Good luck and faith to all bros marrying PRC ladies! Fate plays a part but most important is discipline in managing ya married life...sometimes, shit happens! As we know bad news travel fast and loud, u dun hear any complaints from a happy marriage! Obviously, there are good, bad and the ugly and really u ought to ask yourself too, which category u are from before judging someone else...cheers!
personally i have heard more horror stories than love stories with happy endings with PRC girls
trying my best to keep an open mind but i staying away from them for now, although very tempted
maybe for sex but not marriage lah. but it is really up to the individual. the last thing you want is for her to take away all your hard earn money and leave you broke and feeling used.
you cannnot even tell your friends about it cos you scared that they will laugh at you. you cannot tell your family and relatives cos they will look down on you.
if it happens to you, thats it. suffer alone. very poor thing lor.
Thanks for SBF bros who left the comments~ Truly appreciate that...
TS , sorry for hijiacking your post.
Bro Waha,
just a quick comment. i am not surprised she did a 180 degrees on you after she gave you her virginity. Coming from a strict family, i can imagine that if she didn't marry you, her parents would probably try to matchmake her. and if she was no longer a virgin, she would be harder to 'sell' to potential suitors. Now of course, you would think this is pretty silly seeing that singapore girls do ONS without blinking eye. but, i guess if people upbringing and belief system is different, they will act differently. So, i think the consequence of her not getting married now is big (like for SG men who think about divorce ... consequence is big). i used to date a china girl before (not WL for reference), and on the outset, she comes across as being independent (western influence), but after being together, she is willing to accept a more dominating partner (china alpha male culture i guess).
To be honest bro, you've covered much of the precaution you need (though i hope you know pre-nups don't work in SG. if you are really paranoid ... just don't put assets in your name). if you still think it's a KC trap after 2 yrs ... i dunno, maybe you are just not that convinced you want to marry her. Also, will she be still as submissive after marriage? i think you may never know the real answer to that now, but i think understanding her family's view on divorced women in china would be a good start. i think that would be similar to her 180 after sex. if the consequence is worst to be divorced, then more likely she will continue to be a good wife.
best of luck bro and hope you report success story one day.
10-09-2010, 03:29 PM
Re: Regret Marrying A China Wife?
