Regret Marrying A China Wife?

[Black_Hawk_Up]

Originally Posted by newbie23

That's why for 99% of the case ....

Most of the people I know - be it friends, colleagues, relatives etc have blissful marriages to foreign brides and things turned ugly when their spouses, esp PRC, got PR successfully.

With PR, come with divorce, demand 50% CPF/HDB etc before hooking up another richer man.

and you happily quote 1 example i mention about not getting PR and "forget" the rest which i mentioned and form the bigger group which already have average of 2 kids and naturally is already citizens?

there where things got blow out of size. people like to do selectively reading and quoting.

sad to know that so many bad things happen to people around you regarding foreign brides. personally i know 30plus or more marriage with foreign brides and at most only 1 divorce case. all the bad things i heard is through words of mouth or reading it somewhere. maybe i am just lucky.

And the answer is NO if someone is thinking in line with 家丑不可外扬 therefore i never know of any... just count it on my luck if someone die die have to justify their theory.

[ahit1]

Originally Posted by mg8888

Maybe time for MPs to bring the issue and pass new bill

Fat hope man!! Unless our Her Majesty Mrs Lee dies, or any of one of Ministers experience this kind of marriage, or else they can't be bother to change the clause.

[ahit1]

Originally Posted by Liquid

Marrying a PRC wife is okay as seen from some of my friends. The problem comes when wanting to marry a ex-KTV,WL,FL PRC lady and that is the problem. Are there really any success blissful stories? Of cause these girls would need to settle down as well right. They have spent most of their youth working on this line.

From my point of view, if really to marry a PRC wife, best to marry a PRC from a decent job than working from KTV, WL or such, the risk is lower. Cause to those working in KTV (or such), the money is too easy to make already, and somemore they have seen too many guys in their working place that they know how to make use of guys to acheive their goal. Sad to say, their SG husband may also just another tool to stay here longer and make use of the husband's love to do whatever they plan to do. It is just part of their plan to earn more money. Once they got their PR or SG citizen, their fox tail will come out and they will use women chapter to 'attack' their husband to get more money. They only recongise money in their own world. They seems to never want to settle down regardless their age, unless they manage to hook up someone's earning as much as bill gates whose money is never ending for them to spent everyday. Then maybe they will stick to him like glue.

Not to say there are no goods one, but so far i seen only one success marriage whose wife is a ex-ktv girl and she is a vietnamese. She had quit her highly-paid job as ktv girl and prepare help out in my friend shop.

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by ahit1

From my point of view, if really to marry a PRC wife, best to marry a PRC from a decent job than working from KTV, WL or such, the risk is lower. Cause to those working in KTV (or such), the money is too easy to make already, and somemore they have seen too many guys in their working place that they know how to make use of guys to acheive their goal. Sad to say, their SG husband may also just another tool to stay here longer and make use of the husband's love to do whatever they plan to do. It is just part of their plan to earn more money. Once they got their PR or SG citizen, their fox tail will come out and they will use women chapter to 'attack' their husband to get more money. They only recongise money in their own world. They seems to never want to settle down regardless their age, unless they manage to hook up someone's earning as much as bill gates whose money is never ending for them to spent everyday. Then maybe they will stick to him like glue.

Not to say there are no goods one, but so far i seen only one success marriage whose wife is a ex-ktv girl and she is a vietnamese. She had quit her highly-paid job as ktv girl and prepare help out in my friend shop.

Brother, well articulated and demonstrated with examples based on first hand relationships with friends rather than anecdotal and as read in papers and/or on this board.

[FierceCow]

Just to share my thoughts..

Ok. My cousin and I both married PRC ladies.
Both ladies are non FL, KTV girls etc....

My cousin know the lady in China as company send him over for work. To cut the long story short, after a year of courtship they decide to get married after the knowledge my cousin is going to be sent back to Singapore. My cousin make preparation for wedding this and that (airticket, banquet) and also sent 20k sgd as dowry saying what her sister is opening decent type of ktv etc.. F La...he never even visit the lady's home before...In the end, she fly my cousin kite 2 weeks before the wedding rom cum dinner..din pick up calls.

Now my story, I knew my wife when i am studying overseas. After which long distance r/s. She invited me to her home last 3 years, being there at least 3 times to spend time with her family and knowing more about her childhood past and family lifestyle. At least i know how she is brought up and understand how is her family education like...u can see from the attitude from his parents, sisters etc..
I also give a realistic view of myself to my in-laws - i am a young white collar working class like rest of singaporean need to work hard to pay off hdb loan when i get my flat...never to let her family have an impression i am some rich guy who send my wife back and fro to china whenever my mum-in-law wants my wife back to see her.
(at first, she hints she like us back like 2 to 3 times a year...if not my wife at least..zzzz so have to 'educate' her about our culture)

Morale of the story:
When u get married, be it a Singaporean or PRC,
Knowing her family education, background is damn important...
I have KTV PRC want to KC with me, but when it comes to that...I always think their mindset is warp (maybe not 100% but 99.9%) , they are here for $$$ in Silliypore...plus i agree with our lao ta sammy, if it is easy to bed her first date or second...the other men can do the same...

Summary: U really need to understand your partner well before making decision. Letting small bro rule...will ruin your life...
PRC FLs and KTV girls are here only for services they provide - dun let them step into ur life and mess up everything!!!

[Suckmedry]

hi bro FierceCow, after u told them ur realistic view, den what ur mother in law says? he got kpkb etc? so any problems wib ur prc wife now?

[FierceCow]

Originally Posted by Suckmedry

hi bro FierceCow, after u told them ur realistic view, den what ur mother in law says? he got kpkb etc? so any problems wib ur prc wife now?

After telling them my more realistic view, my mum in law says most important must have "Shang jing Xin", maybe cause i at least of a bachelor cert.

Maybe she misses her daughter, keep asking us to come back china visit the family. but realistically leaves is one thing, keep going back same place din go other place holidays also very sian...i communicate with my wife on that and she accepts my view...

Cultural shock to my wife as she never come to singapore b4...and she try to find her preferred full time job but cannot get...went a few part time jobs before going back to china say relax awhile then back...back home i would say she abit pampered...and lucky for her older sister also back in china from overseas give her advice in life, she came back with better perspective in life.

Well marrying overseas wife is challenging and not without the troubles..depends on how willing u and the party will go thru to face the difficulties.

Think the only problem i have now lies with me... me too horny when she not around... hehe

my 2 cents

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by FierceCow

Just to share my thoughts..

Ok. My cousin and I both married PRC ladies.
Both ladies are non FL, KTV girls etc....

My cousin know the lady in China as company send him over for work. To cut the long story short, after a year of courtship they decide to get married after the knowledge my cousin is going to be sent back to Singapore. My cousin make preparation for wedding this and that (airticket, banquet) and also sent 20k sgd as dowry saying what her sister is opening decent type of ktv etc.. F La...he never even visit the lady's home before...In the end, she fly my cousin kite 2 weeks before the wedding rom cum dinner..din pick up calls.

Now my story, I knew my wife when i am studying overseas. After which long distance r/s. She invited me to her home last 3 years, being there at least 3 times to spend time with her family and knowing more about her childhood past and family lifestyle. At least i know how she is brought up and understand how is her family education like...u can see from the attitude from his parents, sisters etc..
I also give a realistic view of myself to my in-laws - i am a young white collar working class like rest of singaporean need to work hard to pay off hdb loan when i get my flat...never to let her family have an impression i am some rich guy who send my wife back and fro to china whenever my mum-in-law wants my wife back to see her.
(at first, she hints she like us back like 2 to 3 times a year...if not my wife at least..zzzz so have to 'educate' her about our culture)

Morale of the story:
When u get married, be it a Singaporean or PRC,
Knowing her family education, background is damn important...
I have KTV PRC want to KC with me, but when it comes to that...I always think their mindset is warp (maybe not 100% but 99.9%) , they are here for $$$ in Silliypore...plus i agree with our lao ta sammy, if it is easy to bed her first date or second...the other men can do the same...

Summary: U really need to understand your partner well before making decision. Letting small bro rule...will ruin your life...
PRC FLs and KTV girls are here only for services they provide - dun let them step into ur life and mess up everything!!!

1) Nice narrative hitting on some key concepts many of the "lost" brothers her don't seem to place great value on let alone comprehend.
2) You cousin's PRC went AWOL. Yet, you say he tied the knot with the PRC. What happened. Share with us more details for education of the brothers.
3) PRC women and their family have a warped sense of worth ethic equaling progress and monetary gain. Most imcomprehensible.

[FierceCow]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

1) Nice narrative hitting on some key concepts many of the "lost" brothers her don't seem to place great value on let alone comprehend.
2) You cousin's PRC went AWOL. Yet, you say he tied the knot with the PRC. What happened. Share with us more details for education of the brothers.
3) PRC women and their family have a warped sense of worth ethic equaling progress and monetary gain. Most imcomprehensible.

Whoa...thanks RealEstateGuy for catching the mistake on 2.)

I should say Both my cousin and I a year plus ago going to marry PRC girl.
Eventually i married but he don't with the PRC lady AWOL.

Thanks for pointing out the mistake...

Point 3.) yeah... i find strange too... anyway PRC family mostly (90%) expect ur family well to do, have degree, own an apartment..etc...will ask strange direct question how much earn, is your salary considered high in singapore? What is your prospect in your company?.
I kanna... it feels sucky really...i gave a rough figure and says it is considered middle income type...Company wise, i tell her depends on boss i dunno. (inside i curse and swear)

Well any bros out there kanna also, just thinking?

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by FierceCow

Whoa...thanks RealEstateGuy for catching the mistake on 2.)

I should say Both my cousin and I a year plus ago going to marry PRC girl.
Eventually i married but he don't with the PRC lady AWOL.

Thanks for pointing out the mistake...

Point 3.) yeah... i find strange too... anyway PRC family mostly (90%) expect ur family well to do, have degree, own an apartment..etc...will ask strange direct question how much earn, is your salary considered high in singapore? What is your prospect in your company?.
I kanna... it feels sucky really...i gave a rough figure and says it is considered middle income type...Company wise, i tell her depends on boss i dunno. (inside i curse and swear)

Well any bros out there kanna also, just thinking?

Brother, I know of one SG white collar profesional who married PRC and imigrated wifeys entire family to SG. Everybody sits around the house all day while he goes to work and earns a middle class salary. Not enough room in house with big mortgage so guy sleeps on sofa. Family said he needs to earn more and work harder to fund start up of small business for them before they work. IMO people seem like leaches? BTW you cousin should feel lucky. Money lost can be rearned. Mental fatigue brings divorce at higher monetary and emotional cost. You think it was known by the girl she would go AWOL or was legitimate last minute decison. If former, to do that is just terrible and shows lack of human decency IMO.

[FierceCow]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Brother, I know of one SG white collar profesional who married PRC and imigrated wifeys entire family to SG. Everybody sits around the house all day while he goes to work and earns a middle class salary. Not enough room in house with big mortgage so guy sleeps on sofa. Family said he needs to earn more and work harder to fund start up of small business for them before they work. IMO people seem like leaches? BTW you cousin should feel lucky. Money lost can be rearned. Mental fatigue brings divorce at higher monetary and emotional cost. You think it was known by the girl she would go AWOL or was legitimate last minute decison. If former, to do that is just terrible and shows lack of human decency IMO.

Wah Lau ey that white collar SG guy should sue for Human Rights....so cham...
My cousin and family now freaking hate PRC ladies...and my aunt will ask my mum like "so far your daughter-in-law ok? got ask for $$ back home.."
And they seldom talk to wife during cny and my wife feels like they very cold towards her...well can understand...

Ok back to the point...
I quarrel with wife badly before about expectation of her mum and wife saying things about mine..
Cultural difference (even we both chinese race, diff country lah) should be considered and acceptance from one country...My wife is more or less prepared to hear Singaporeans complain about PRC ladies love milking Sg Guys $$$ dry. To her, My wife says "Wen Xin wu kui" can le...

Marrying a foreign wife isn't just about saying "I do" at ROM.
1.) Cultural Difference btw u and wife must be considered
2.) Knowing about her family and can u accept the family? (if no, consider the endless quarrels) Marriage is not about 2 people, it is about 2 families.
3.) Realistic expectations , what your parents expect of your wife, your parents-in-law of you.

Hope above points can help those bros who are considering foreign wives.
Of course, those are the points to complement the fact u 2 must be in love.
But do consider the above points, or they will haunt u...more than Ghost haunts in 7th month lol

One thing i learn from all old sbf warbirds...read many many stories abt KC traps, kanna milk $$$ dry and then FL left him blah blah...

STRICTLY FLs, WLs, KTV girls, HC girls whoever provide the release of the tension of little bros.....is for services only....Do not let them KC u and come and ruin your life!!!
(I learn from true stories and old sbf warbirds' story, u go see KC trap stories in sbf...u will find many!)

Smart people learn from others' history, fools after reading them go experience themselves.. Enuff said!

[superfox]

My brother in law married a PRC wife which he had known for less then 3 months , she's not here to work or study as holding a visiting pass ,so after she got preagant and went back to China for a few months , worst was she had a abortion there in China without even letting my brother in law and my mother in law know ! And she is not young too in her early 30 s ,
She do nothing at home not even washing a cup !
And yes !She is damn lazy don't want and not intended to get a job sleep whole day that's all !
If you intended to get a nice syt PRC wife for ppl to envy this might be what you got to pay for .

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by superfox

My brother in law married a PRC wife which he had known for less then 3 months , she's not here to work or study as holding a visiting pass ,so after she got preagant and went back to China for a few months , worst was she had a abortion there in China without even letting my brother in law and my mother in law know ! And she is not young too in her early 30 s ,
She do nothing at home not even washing a cup !
And yes !She is damn lazy don't want and not intended to get a job sleep whole day that's all !
If you intended to get a nice syt PRC wife for ppl to envy this might be what you got to pay for .

What was/is your sister in law's occupation?

Brothers, I have concluded, except in the rare case, most of these women simply see a SG brother as a conduit to achive their financial objectives. Kind of like a job. Get better pay, switch jobs etc. too. Also, because of the oversupply of men versus women in their own country they can get away with dont washing, not working, playing behind man's back. Brother's you should not let these women do this to you as a SG man. There is no imblance in SG.

[BigBallMan]

Originally Posted by RealEstateGuy

Brother, I know of one SG white collar profesional who married PRC and imigrated wifeys entire family to SG. Everybody sits around the house all day while he goes to work and earns a middle class salary. Not enough room in house with big mortgage so guy sleeps on sofa. Family said he needs to earn more and work harder to fund start up of small business for them before they work. IMO people seem like leaches? BTW you cousin should feel lucky. Money lost can be rearned. Mental fatigue brings divorce at higher monetary and emotional cost. You think it was known by the girl she would go AWOL or was legitimate last minute decison. If former, to do that is just terrible and shows lack of human decency IMO.

these are the bloody ccb singaporeans who made me feel like a stranger in my own country!!!!!

knn! ccb! nnb!

[RealEstateGuy]

Originally Posted by BigBallMan

these are the bloody ccb singaporeans who made me feel like a stranger in my own country!!!!!

knn! ccb! nnb!

Brother, no need to be racist. Your family is originally from SG? Hard to beleive.