I wish I didn't get married

[Frankiestine]

Hullo little gal this is SBF not Flowerpod so don't expect views here to be sugar coated. Firstly monster has only one thing to say and that is grow up and be realistic. If your man curi makan so be it, as long as he does not bring it back and affect the family. Don't expect 100% fidelity, a successful marriage is one where the husband is half deaf and the wife half blind.

[hugs]

in fact i think every kind of relationships require me to be half blind n half deaf sometimes . teacher n pupil , parent n child , colleagues , etc . to overlook each others' fault on purpose , to so call let it go .

even the self-proclaimed perfect person has fault . its call the ' i am holier than u r so u r wrong i am rite ' fault . a man who thinks highly of himself , can he loves another who is filthy in his eyes ? if he cant , isnt that consider as his fault ? or he has the excuse that a filthy person deserves no love ?

[baby85]

learn to open 1 eye n close 1 eye

it work better den guessing everyday

as long he clean his mouth clean , n don bring back home rite?

good luck , why upset over tings tat haven happen

[pseudonym]

Originally Posted by Frankiestine

Hullo little gal this is SBF not Flowerpod so don't expect views here to be sugar coated. Firstly monster has only one thing to say and that is grow up and be realistic. If your man curi makan so be it, as long as he does not bring it back and affect the family. Don't expect 100% fidelity, a successful marriage is one where the husband is half deaf and the wife half blind.

unfortunately i have to agree with the wise monster. this is the reality of life.

[fedomme]

Originally Posted by hugs

in fact i think every kind of relationships require me to be half blind n half deaf sometimes . teacher n pupil , parent n child , colleagues , etc . to overlook each others' fault on purpose , to so call let it go .

Can not agree more, not only in relationship, but also in working, socializing, friendship etc. sometimes all need to be half blind n half deaf -- the reality of life.

[san_san]

Do take care sis hugs, don't think too much.

[Oralcraz]

Originally Posted by misled

After getting married and learning more about men and how, no matter how good a man's relationship with his wife may be, he may still cheat on his wife - for variety or when he is alone overseas. ......
I have a hard time dealing with this now that that I am married. It is impossible to be 100% sure that my husband isnt cheating and with jobs requiring a bit or travelling now and then, you never really know what is happening.
......
I guess my advice to women is to only marry a man if you love him so much that you are ok with him possibily cheating on you.
It's sad but true.

Hi, thought yr problem was addressed in Sept in yr previous thread "To the cheating men out there". Guess you still not able to get over it. Don't think or imagine too much. If you continue this way, I am worried for u may develop stress that affect yr mental health. See more open. Read my last post on ""To the cheating men out there". Good luck and take care.

[saint_1979]

Hi Sis,

I do not think that all married men will cheat on their wives.
It really depends on the character of the guy.

Ask yourself why do u accept to be his lifelong partner and willing to create a family together. I believe only you could answer this qns.

Some husbands cheated becos they could not find that close loving relationship with their wivies when they were dating.
Some wivies also dont bother to dress well and "beautify" themselves since they are already married.

I believe girls should always dress well and take time and effort to make themselves attractive regardless of their social status (single/married).

Believe in yourself and him.
Build your confidence.

[DO_YOU_BJ]

If i can fulfill my hunger at home, why do i need to go out & seek more to fill my hunger?
Before you start pointing your finger outwards like the whole world owes you, maybe you wanna point that finger inward and ask yourself what you fucked up that led your man to fulfill his hunger outside!
Lastly, if you feel you dun wanna get married, then dun lor wa lao eh

[tanjames123]

A wise man once told me about marriage: Before you get married, open both eyes! See all his faults & at same time let him see your faults! Let both of yourselves made the choice. If you say love is blind... Then this is the first step for future troubles! Once married. Close one eye. Life will be better once you accept each other's faults. Don't think of what might happen.. Instead think of the present... Does he still care & love you? If yes then stay as it is!
My 2 cents worth

[macrick]

Originally Posted by misled

After getting married and learning more about men and how, no matter how good a man's relationship with his wife may be, he may still cheat on his wife - for variety or when he is alone overseas. And there may be no way that his wife can find out because he will be able to lie about it quite well, especially if he really loves his wife because he sees the flings as just sex and he will not let them harm the marriage.

If I had known this earlier I would have never settled down with a man because I cannot tolerate the possibility of being cheated on, even if my husband really loves me very much. If I knew men are like that, I would have just had short term relationships for company and sex and even had kids out of wedlock, which I will be happy to bring up on my own. If I knew how easily men can cheat, I would have just stayed away from men, save for sex and to get pregnant.

I have a hard time dealing with this now that that I am married. It is impossible to be 100% sure that my husband isnt cheating and with jobs requiring a bit or travelling now and then, you never really know what is happening.

I am obligated to give my husband the benefit of the doubt and do my part in the marriage because we have a good relationship and kids. Yet I don't really feel happy about it. I don't want to cheat on him so that I can be one up on him. I don't want to hurt anyone, I just don't want to have to blindly trust someone.

Just wanted to get this off my chest, nothing much can be done about it.

I guess my advice to women is to only marry a man if you love him so much that you are ok with him possibily cheating on you.

It's sad but true.

Your rant is useless. Saying men cheat, how about women? All women are born angels?

You wanna rant, so do I. Why pretty women like rich guys only? Normal guys not good enough for them? Why dont they all get married to a mint instead?

Human beings are not bots, to error is human. Life cannot be taught in a textbook. Which side of the planet you coming from, anyway?
OMFG!

[HardCock]

I am not sure if I am fit to comment or not. Certainly, the good man category doesn't apply to me because I did pay for sex or having flings. The only comforting fact is I never once strayed when I am in a r/s. Will I ever? I hope not. The only time I run out of control is when having a bad breakup. The lady was the cheating party. It had a great impact on me. It started my journey as a "bad" boy, beginning to have flings. Some flings make u feel lousy, some make u feel great. However, it could never been the same as a r/s. I was into a few r/s after the bad one and most didn't end up with the ultimate marriage. I know the problem is me because I never been able to put down the baggage. It kind of affect the r/s and when it's time to make the ultimate decision to wed, I almost always back off. Then again, I never once have sex outside when I was in r/s. It will take more than a bit to overcome my "blockage" and I have not been in a r/s for 3 - 4 yrs. Yes, I feel lonely but I have to accept this plight until I can remove the mental block.

I am not trying to prove anything but I would like to say that no all men have no self-control. A lot of guys I know can resist temptation very well. But in a r/s, one should learn to give and take, me included

[LCL7788]

Agree with the Bro in the post above.

And also the one before that.

No one is perfect.
Perfection doesnt exist when it comes to people.
If you cannot tahan one ounce of perfection in people, be it friend, spouse, parent, child, colleague etc might as well go look for a cave up in the mountains and make sure you stay there for the rest of your life.
If you think others are imperfect the converse is that you think you ought to be perfect in the eyes of yourself and others if they are not to reject you in the same way you reject imperfect others.
If you think you yourself are so perfect then go live by yourself and there you can have your perfect little world.
Cuz there isnt another way.
Real life is not so simple.
Black and white.
Perfectly perfect and perfectly imperfect.
Where got like that one!?!

Dialogue and compromise, isnt that better? Would you be better living with an imperfect spouse or without him or her at all?
Just ask yourself that.

But imperfections shouldnt be an excuse either.
Saying that you have affairs or frequent whores just because e.g MEN ARE ALL LIKE THAT is a typical one.
Didn't that Jackie Chan ass use it as his excuse too?
How easy hor? Instead of trying to look at his behaviour and how it fit into his r/s with his spouse that was all he offered.
Do ALL men stray?
Rubbish.
Plenty dont and a huge lot of them are the bible carrying god fearing type.
It is your conscious individual choice.
It was your conscious choice to get married so be answerable to that to start with.
Being in a long-term r/s or a marriage is NOT the same as a fling.
Or an open r/s.
If you are cool enough to have an open r/s then do it. But dont get married and expect it to be something else. Dont get hitched and still expect to be excused of all your excesses all the time, whether they are secret or not.

Some wives can accept philandering husbands.
Some husbands can accept cheating wives.
Which one are you?
You wont know until either side breaks the initial circle of trust. And then try to work on something from there.
If disappointment is involved, both parties should ask why and how.
Without trust and communication no r/s or marriage can ever work.
True that its a question of give n take.
But how much to give and how much to take also differs from couple to couple.
There is no one single formula to resolving conflicts like this.
There is no one single formula to a happy marriage.
There is no one single formula to a fulfilling life.

[Gentle Beast]

To all ladies who happen to read this thread:

Since time memorial, men having sex with other women outside their marriage should not come as a shock. Ask yourself (question for women), are you shock that prostitution is still thriving and will continue to exist even when you and I are no longer here in this world?

Men are wired biologically differently from women where having sex is concerned. We love sex and we will get sex even if it outside the 'sanctuary of a marriage'. We are capable of not just having physical sex, we can even enjoy 'mental sex' with your best friend .

Men are beasts when it comes to sex, there is no need to even start a moral discussion about this. Even with this, women can't stop loving us!

I know I sound like a bloody sexist, but facts are facts.

[spidersim_78]

Originally Posted by Gentle Beast

To all ladies who happen to read this thread:

Since time memorial, men having sex with other women outside their marriage should not come as a shock. Ask yourself (question for women), are you shock that prostitution is still thriving and will continue to exist even when you and I are no longer here in this world?

Men are wired biologically differently from women where having sex is concerned. We love sex and we will get sex even if it outside the 'sanctuary of a marriage'. We are capable of not just having physical sex, we can even enjoy 'mental sex' with your best friend .

Men are beasts when it comes to sex, there is no need to even start a moral discussion about this. Even with this, women can't stop loving us!

I know I sound like a bloody sexist, but facts are facts.

bro i agree with u statement of men views and thinking in term of sex behaviour