Married men come in

[Darrengoh8]

Originally Posted by magill98

Similar here, I don't even have sex with her for more than half a year, we sleep separately also in different room. One is she low sex drive, and also relationship with her is just to maintain as parents to the kids. Not to say no more love but perhaps no more intimacy. Given also after tasting the vast choices out there, it is difficult to get arosed with her at home now. Guess most man are like that, attracted to young, pretty, wild, freshness etc.

I was in this situation, slept separately also because my working hours went haywire and kids wanted to sleep with mum and always wake up at night. Ate outside and kena genital herpes. Now for some weird reason wife suddenly become very needy and need sex more.

Now I am stuck. I am super worried of transmitting herpes to her as transmission can happen without symptoms

Anti virals can help and I am taking it. Since my first outbreak of 2 small pimples 10 months ago I have had zero outbreaks but there is occasional tingling (which could be my mind playing tricks on me or real prodrome)

Condoms can help but there is no reason for me to wear coz she started pills because she wants raw to have feel

I am now so torn….if I disclose I lose the marriage, family and kids…

Don’t end up like me

[Anderson]

Originally Posted by Darrengoh8

Don’t end up like me

Herpes can easily transmit in non sexual or intimate ways.
Just google herpes transmission methods.

[magill98]

Yes it is a hard decision and we can only provide suggestions and opinions and you make the call. For me it is better not to disclose to safeguard the family since you have kids. It is a bit selfish as there is risk of transmission, but at the end have to sacrifice one or the other. Good luck.

Originally Posted by Darrengoh8

I was in this situation, slept separately also because my working hours went haywire and kids wanted to sleep with mum and always wake up at night. Ate outside and kena genital herpes. Now for some weird reason wife suddenly become very needy and need sex more.

Now I am stuck. I am super worried of transmitting herpes to her as transmission can happen without symptoms

Anti virals can help and I am taking it. Since my first outbreak of 2 small pimples 10 months ago I have had zero outbreaks but there is occasional tingling (which could be my mind playing tricks on me or real prodrome)

Condoms can help but there is no reason for me to wear coz she started pills because she wants raw to have feel

I am now so torn….if I disclose I lose the marriage, family and kids…

Don’t end up like me

[Darrengoh8]

Originally Posted by Anderson

Herpes can easily transmit in non sexual or intimate ways.
Just google herpes transmission methods.

Mine is hsv 2. There is no 2 ways about it

[Darrengoh8]

Originally Posted by magill98

Yes it is a hard decision and we can only provide suggestions and opinions and you make the call. For me it is better not to disclose to safeguard the family since you have kids. It is a bit selfish as there is risk of transmission, but at the end have to sacrifice one or the other. Good luck.

I mean it could be asymptomatic for her. So maybe she will still catch it in her Pap smear in health check ups. Maybe already transmitted. It’s hard to know. Many people have super mild symptoms, mine was just 2 small cuts and if I didn’t go to wls, I will probably think I scratched it at night while sleeping or there is some bug bite.

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by Darrengoh8

I was in this situation, slept separately also because my working hours went haywire and kids wanted to sleep with mum and always wake up at night. Ate outside and kena genital herpes. Now for some weird reason wife suddenly become very needy and need sex more.

Now I am stuck. I am super worried of transmitting herpes to her as transmission can happen without symptoms

Anti virals can help and I am taking it. Since my first outbreak of 2 small pimples 10 months ago I have had zero outbreaks but there is occasional tingling (which could be my mind playing tricks on me or real prodrome)

Condoms can help but there is no reason for me to wear coz she started pills because she wants raw to have feel

I am now so torn….if I disclose I lose the marriage, family and kids…

Don’t end up like me

bro, sorry to say, why are you beating yourself up? How moral are people in this world? morality is worth how much an ounce? What is the definition of morality?

You ate outside, you regret. move on, don't do it.

If your wife also ate outside, would you beat yourself up for doing it?

the problem is, life is tough and we do what have to do to survive till the next day.

For many men, their wives or gfs are the cheating party, so better you screw around than to have your other half screw around and you be the dedicated, loyal husband who was always thinking about family first.

If your wife is a keeper, don't beat yourself up, just be a better man

[babyjohnwong]

Originally Posted by Darrengoh8

I mean it could be asymptomatic for her. So maybe she will still catch it in her Pap smear in health check ups. Maybe already transmitted. It’s hard to know. Many people have super mild symptoms, mine was just 2 small cuts and if I didn’t go to wls, I will probably think I scratched it at night while sleeping or there is some bug bite.

I have HSV 1 and HSV 2
HSV 1 is extremely wide spread especially in ang mo countries where kissing the cheeks is a standard form of greetings
HSV 2 also does not pale in comparison given the rise in popularity of oral sex in the recent decades
If both of you are not virgins when you get married, AND both of you did not go for STD checkups before, AND if both of you do not want kids anymore
Then forget about it, just go and fuck your wife

If no STD checkups done before marriage and both of you lost virginity to someone else before marrying each other, any of you could have already been infected before marriage, just that no symptoms appeared and nothing to be suspicious of
If not planning to have more kids, then why bother
You have HSV 2 only, not HSV 1 and HSV 2
At most just stop having oral sex or do things to minimise contact orally such as using flavoured condoms or oral dam

If only HSV 2, your kids won't get it
Unless they go sniff your undies or your wive's undies regularly or you force them to do oral sex on you or your wife as part of sex education
But if you really force them to do that, man, you are really screwed in your head

Btw, from what I know, pap smears don't test for herpes, so no worries if that is your concern

[Shadow_warrior]

my 2 cents
life is funny right? no one appreciate a good man, decent man

women, they all want bad boy, fun, exciting, got feeling

woman very simple, you got money, they come, you got looks, they come. if you know how to talk to the girl make her laugh they come

they never come because they say, look at this man, he is faithful man a dutiful son. he is good man, he is stable person. they meet this man, they want to keep, because they feel he is stable, but safe.

So they have a good man, they keep at home, they seek their fun outside

haha. that's life.

[babyjohnwong]

Originally Posted by magill98

Similar here, I don't even have sex with her for more than half a year, we sleep separately also in different room. One is she low sex drive, and also relationship with her is just to maintain as parents to the kids. Not to say no more love but perhaps no more intimacy. Given also after tasting the vast choices out there, it is difficult to get arosed with her at home now. Guess most man are like that, attracted to young, pretty, wild, freshness etc.

I am in the same or similar situation as you
Wife exploded from 48kg to almost 20kg extra after 3 children
But I really dunno if she is not able to slim back or lazy to do so
Seriously, I don't even get aroused looking at her naked body or even hugging her

With my Filipino FB, who is very slim (happens to be same age as my wife), just looking at her when she dress up sexily is enough to wake my little brother up
Maximum erection when hugging or undressing her or looking at her naked body
Even now when I am typing this, just thinking about my Filipino FB whom I just bonked last week, my brother is starting to wake up already lol

I have no choice but to do other things when bonking my wife
Such as playing porn in my bedroom TV
I close my eyes and fantasize other stuff instead of looking at her while she rides me
Or do things like cosplay or cross dressing etc lol
Maybe you can try that too

If too long no sex with her, it will strain the relationship
Things like her finding someone else may also happen
But if you are fine with both, then I guess it is not a problem with little to no sex with her then
If such things worry you, you can at least try to keep it manageable by being intimate even with no or little sex
Like hugging her or kissing her every daily before going to work or coming home

[babyjohnwong]

Originally Posted by Shadow_warrior

my 2 cents
life is funny right? no one appreciate a good man, decent man

women, they all want bad boy, fun, exciting, got feeling

woman very simple, you got money, they come, you got looks, they come. if you know how to talk to the girl make her laugh they come

they never come because they say, look at this man, he is faithful man a dutiful son. he is good man, he is stable person. they meet this man, they want to keep, because they feel he is stable, but safe.

So they have a good man, they keep at home, they seek their fun outside

haha. that's life.

It takes both hands to clap
Guys want bad girls, fun, exciting, easy to bed etc
Women want rich guys, guys want sex
Women like good looks, guys want sexy girls with good figure
Women like guys that can make them laugh, guys like girls that give them hard ons and will do anything to make them laugh
When guys hook women up for fun, they never do the usual stuff like oh faithful woman, dutiful daughter, good girl etc etc
So when they have a good woman, they keep at home and seek fun outside
Lol...

[Darrengoh8]

Originally Posted by babyjohnwong

I have HSV 1 and HSV 2
HSV 1 is extremely wide spread especially in ang mo countries where kissing the cheeks is a standard form of greetings
HSV 2 also does not pale in comparison given the rise in popularity of oral sex in the recent decades
If both of you are not virgins when you get married, AND both of you did not go for STD checkups before, AND if both of you do not want kids anymore
Then forget about it, just go and fuck your wife

If no STD checkups done before marriage and both of you lost virginity to someone else before marrying each other, any of you could have already been infected before marriage, just that no symptoms appeared and nothing to be suspicious of
If not planning to have more kids, then why bother
You have HSV 2 only, not HSV 1 and HSV 2
At most just stop having oral sex or do things to minimise contact orally such as using flavoured condoms or oral dam

If only HSV 2, your kids won't get it
Unless they go sniff your undies or your wive's undies regularly or you force them to do oral sex on you or your wife as part of sex education
But if you really force them to do that, man, you are really screwed in your head

Btw, from what I know, pap smears don't test for herpes, so no worries if that is your concern

She tested for herpes prior to having our kids- not sure why gynae wanted it tested. And most recent was 3 years ago.

We don’t want more kids

So she is definitely in the clear and for me I need to explain how I may have caught it previously but for some reason did not spread to her over the last 15 years

[tubi27]

Read a few posts here and felt compelled to write as well.

Similar to some bros，also sexless marriage. Sleep in different rooms as kids sleep with wife or me. Not had sex with wife for probably 5 years now! Ok relationship I suppose, have good and bad days like any marriage. Still love her but probably not in love anymore. Our focus on the kids mostly and work stuff. She still looks good IMO but lack of sex interest/too focused on kids family etc.

Go for massages here and abroad when opportunity arises to keep my balls from turning blue but haven’t actually fucked in 5 years LOL. Been thinking of visiting FL or finding a FB (dunno how) to gain some sanity back. No interest in keeping a mistress as it is more trouble than it’s worth, ditto with casual affairs etc although the latter is tempting sometimes. Trying to be a “good man” lol

Wishing all brothers in a similar boat a better 2024 ahead!

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by tubi27

Read a few posts here and felt compelled to write as well.

Similar to some bros，also sexless marriage. Sleep in different rooms as kids sleep with wife or me. Not had sex with wife for probably 5 years now! Ok relationship I suppose, have good and bad days like any marriage. Still love her but probably not in love anymore. Our focus on the kids mostly and work stuff. She still looks good IMO but lack of sex interest/too focused on kids family etc.

Go for massages here and abroad when opportunity arises to keep my balls from turning blue but haven’t actually fucked in 5 years LOL. Been thinking of visiting FL or finding a FB (dunno how) to gain some sanity back. No interest in keeping a mistress as it is more trouble than it’s worth, ditto with casual affairs etc although the latter is tempting sometimes. Trying to be a “good man” lol

Wishing all brothers in a similar boat a better 2024 ahead!

was there. mine is more than 10 years no sex, but I haven't exactly been celibate either. That helps me maintain my sanity.

There is no way to be a saint when things are not working out, you will snap. And demanding things are better, doesn't work especially when you can't just live for yourself and your needs with kids to care for.

Even with my FB, she's not exactly faithful either, and she cannot be trusted. Women, don't trust them- general rule. But hey, when I gave her my emotions, she reciprocated but then she went out looking, so now, I just think of ways to get into her pants, because the sex is good. She doesn't want a good man, she doesn't want a stable relationship, she wants the flirt, the guy who makes her laugh, the one who says nice things, and seduce her so she drops her panties on her own. I was foolish to believe in love in marriage, and try to find it elsewhere. Now I don't believe in love, we do whatever it takes to get past today, till tomorrow.

I have found that there are so many bros, in these situations, its not even funny anymore

Honestly its hard to keep working at the relationship and keep things fresh. you need 2 people to do that. and its alot of effort if one does not reciprocate. Fresh is always better than stale, and that's the lure of extramarital affairs, home is stale and outside the grass appears greener. Everyone likes to be courted, and said nice things to, and feel "loved". It might not even be real, but the fresh feelings can seem so.

To having a better 2024.

[Meisterboy]

Weekly, been wanting to have sex with my wife. But whenever i initiated it, she said she’s tired. Feeling quite sian about this. Don’t want to go for FL as the experience is just transactional feeling. Not sure what the bros here will do if yall are in my shoes…

[Shadow_warrior]

Originally Posted by Meisterboy

Weekly, been wanting to have sex with my wife. But whenever i initiated it, she said she’s tired. Feeling quite sian about this. Don’t want to go for FL as the experience is just transactional feeling. Not sure what the bros here will do if yall are in my shoes…

how long has it been? try different things, cosplay, take a trip, romantic things, work at it. yours seems like can still save.

but if its been stalemate for a decade like mine, which I don't think in your case, then go and do what it takes to get to the next day.

to a better 2024