shy about intimacy

[graceshinee]

Originally Posted by bloggert

It is normal to be shy about intimacy and you have nothing to be apologetic about. Intimacy is about allowing someone into an area of your life that is very private and precious. Naturally, you would not just be shy, but cautious about who you let into your secret garden.

Some reasons why a person might feel "shy" or uncertain could be:-

1. You're not totally sure about that person - you may like him but you may not trust him enough yet to let him into your secret garden.

2. You are worried that he may not like your garden after you let him in. This has to do with your self-esteem. It could be that you're not confident of yourself, or you're not sure how to handle the situation and things might get awkward and you end up embarrassing yourself. Do you trust him to accept you unconditionally?

3. Girls have more to lose than guys when it comes to intimacy. Naturally girls are more cautious about it than guys. The guy should know how to win your trust.

4. It is easier for guys to treat sex as sex, and far more difficult for girls to just enjoy sexual intimacy without considering wider concerns - such as the future of the relationship, romance, potential risks, etc.

All that is to say that there is nothing wrong with being shy, especially if it is your first time and you're inexperienced. As others have suggested - take it at a pace that you are comfortable with and don't be pressured into anything that you might later regret. Give when you are comfortable and ready to give. You're probably still young and if the guy is so eager for intimacy that he would leave you on that account, frankly, he's not worth it.

Aside from that, you should also educate yourself - learn up about your own body and sexuality. Read about the experiences of others. Contrary to what was suggested - porn is rather unlike reality so take all that with a pinch of salt. You might even want to talk to your bf about this. That has the added value of understanding how he sees it all.

Ok thank you for your reply=)
Will work on what you have shared

[PrinceCharles]

Originally Posted by conquer

I was expecting someone to say this... Good luck, my friend.

same here as well

[conquer]

Originally Posted by FltPartner

Did u pm her yet ?

No. TS is the one should PM me. I charge, my friend.

Originally Posted by PrinceCharles

same here as well

This shows that we have a caring society. Many bros are ready to give a helping hand... a helping dick, I mean.

[porscheclub]

Miss. Always remember to practise SAFE SEX even with your boyfriends not just for disease but most importantly pregnancy.

Once you're pregnant, your life changes for worse when you're both not ready. Some get destroyed by it. So, wear that condom & pop those pills!

Now, back to popping your cherry. Watching softporn together helps a lot & girls need to be put into the mood so don't be surprised that your BF needs to start working on it days in advance, making you feel loved and like a princess

Stay away from those raunchy Cat3 hardcore porn stuffs, you'll only want those later.

[limii62]

Sis graceshinee

Your virgin is most precious. Don't lose it

[dimplesboy]

Originally Posted by graceshinee

Hello=)

Anyone can share advice regarding shyness towards intimacy?
I came from a gal sch, so had a bf only in university.
My bf and i and i been together for close to 9 months.
Recently, my bf have the intention to to make out with me. But he notice me is very shy and uncomfortable with it=(
I am actually a extrovert by nature, takes part in alot activites ranging from school:nus cheerleading, to outside school:spca volunterering.
But i do not understand why i become very shy and awkward when comes to intimacy with my loved ones.
I am really afraid this would affect our relationship together.
I appreciate if anyone can advise,
Thanks=)

First time is always awkward. Nobody is born so "open" towards making out. Everything begins with the first step. Sis you need to make that first step out. Once you make that first step, things will be easy.

[ddog]

Ddog just like to add:
1. Go with the flow when ready
2. Be reminded partner of condom

[acidicavex]

Want to get rid of shyness....

U can

1) everyday stand naked infront of mirror look up down side tell yourself u look fantastic.
2) while at no.1 take more selfie.
3) need to boost that confident post on sbf photo session of coz cut the head off.... and let the tiko bros n uncles here sing praise of u.
4) do more petting...
5) if u worried have a drink or 2 get alittle tipsy.. but make sure u are with the right person.
6) let go and go wild after no.5

SHould more points but mentally kana block.

Last point whatever it is safe sex...

[graceshinee]

Originally Posted by acidicavex

Want to get rid of shyness....

U can

1) everyday stand naked infront of mirror look up down side tell yourself u look fantastic.
2) while at no.1 take more selfie.
3) need to boost that confident post on sbf photo session of coz cut the head off.... and let the tiko bros n uncles here sing praise of u.
4) do more petting...
5) if u worried have a drink or 2 get alittle tipsy.. but make sure u are with the right person.
6) let go and go wild after no.5

SHould more points but mentally kana block.

Last point whatever it is safe sex...

Oh okies=)
I take note of these points

[graceshinee]

Originally Posted by porscheclub

Miss. Always remember to practise SAFE SEX even with your boyfriends not just for disease but most importantly pregnancy.

Once you're pregnant, your life changes for worse when you're both not ready. Some get destroyed by it. So, wear that condom & pop those pills!

Now, back to popping your cherry. Watching softporn together helps a lot & girls need to be put into the mood so don't be surprised that your BF needs to start working on it days in advance, making you feel loved and like a princess

Stay away from those raunchy Cat3 hardcore porn stuffs, you'll only want those later.

Ok. Do you need i shld intro him to read all these , so he know what to do?

[wondergal]

Some of us are not naturally open or adventurous towards being naked and having sex, and feel shy about it. I feel that asking a shy woman to watch soft porn or hard porn is not the surest way to get her excited because she can still be repulsed by it. Porn is the men's way.

I suggest that first you try exploring your own body, touching yourself, and even touching down there to discover how you like to be touched, so that later you can tell him how or what to do. Then consider asking the man to try clothed massage if you are shy about being naked too soon, then later on another day, ask him to do a nude massage where you are nude. I know it can get women in the mood because it is similar to foreplay, or could actually be foreplay. Be prepared with condoms in case the massage gets you excited enough to proceed with sex.

[naan1974]

Why must you let him touch you?
What if you dirty you and dump you?
What if you gets you pregnant and dump you?
What if he loses respect for you ?

[alwaysalone]

Originally Posted by graceshinee

Ok. Do you need i shld intro him to read all these , so he know what to do?

All guys watched porn. There is no need to intro to him.

If he says he never watched porn before, he is lying.

[graceshinee]

Originally Posted by wondergal

Some of us are not naturally open or adventurous towards being naked and having sex, and feel shy about it. I feel that asking a shy woman to watch soft porn or hard porn is not the surest way to get her excited because she can still be repulsed by it. Porn is the men's way.

I suggest that first you try exploring your own body, touching yourself, and even touching down there to discover how you like to be touched, so that later you can tell him how or what to do. Then consider asking the man to try clothed massage if you are shy about being naked too soon, then later on another day, ask him to do a nude massage where you are nude. I know it can get women in the mood because it is similar to foreplay, or could actually be foreplay. Be prepared with condoms in case the massage gets you excited enough to proceed with sex.

Oh touch myself means? To masterbate? Sorry! I nt very sure what you trying to mean!

[LJH]

so there is the 1% here.. still a virgin at this age.. *thumbs up*