sudden lost.... need advice,. - Page 2

joew2005 · #16 22-10-2011, 01:56 PM

revenge should never be a course of action 2 be taken in a marriage,even if 1 party hv strayed.
wat do 1 actually gain by taking revenge in a marriage ?
wat do the children gain ? more harm.

sammyboyfor · #17 22-10-2011, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sgjoey

Boss, I am very surprised. Do you only specialise in distinguishing between "advise" and "advice"? What about "save" and "safe"?

I can't correct ALL the mistakes I come across. I concentrate only on a handful of the most common ones.

candypuss · #18 22-10-2011, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by joew2005

revenge should never be a course of action 2 be taken in a marriage,even if 1 party hv strayed.
wat do 1 actually gain by taking revenge in a marriage ?
wat do the children gain ? more harm.

Of cos it is nt me. It is the husband who wanted revenge on the other woman who played him out n then refused to let him go.

And in this marriage I din stray until last year I got into a brief fling ard august. On the other hand he had an on going affair since 2009. So I can't blame anyone except myself as I had a quick temper that pushed him away due to my post natal depression.

candypuss · #19 22-10-2011, 06:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Big Sexy

what did u do??? you betrayed his trust??

No. He betrayed me n he was playing ard behind my back for years until I confronted him. He admitted it but insisted he stopped all this after we got together. Of cse I din believe anymore as he is a horny n perverted bastard.

MonteCristo · #20 22-10-2011, 06:23 PM

2 wrongs don't make 1 right.

goodpartner · #21 22-10-2011, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss

And in this marriage I din stray until last year I got into a brief fling ard august. On the other hand he had an on going affair since 2009.

Why did you seek for adviCe only more than one year later after your fling?

Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss

Husband affair exposed two months ago...

So... you exposed him 2 months ago and discovered his affair (dated since 2009), but then you had a fling last August 2010, before you expose him?

Are you saying that you knew about his affair long time ago (when? b4 or after Aug'10?), but only chose to "expose" him 2 months back? Or do you mean you only knew about his affair 2 months ago? In any case, why did you name this thread "sudden lost..."? Why sudden?

Texas-5 · #22 22-10-2011, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candypuss

Bros/sisters

What shall i do now plus feelings for him is flying out of the window at a fast pace n last couple weeks ago, feelings had stopped already but he still carried on as if nothing is wrong plus he n i still on talking terms , more like normal frenz instead of man/wife.

feelings had stopped
he cheated on you
you cheated on him too
what other advice you need?

i feel for your kid more than anything else in this situation,but it's time to move on

Raveforfun · #23 22-10-2011, 07:46 PM

Hi, when u need a shoulder to rely on. Come to me. Will be glad to help you.

joew2005 · #24 22-10-2011, 07:53 PM

god help those tat help themselve ...

RobinH00d · #25 22-10-2011, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Why did you seek for adviCe only more than one year later after your fling?

So... you exposed him 2 months ago and discovered his affair (dated since 2009), but then you had a fling last August 2010, before you expose him?

Are you saying that you knew about his affair long time ago (when? b4 or after Aug'10?), but only chose to "expose" him 2 months back? Or do you mean you only knew about his affair 2 months ago? In any case, why did you name this thread "sudden lost..."? Why sudden?

Ya ihave the same doubts and questions as bro goodpartner .... just din make sense leh TS.

raftime68 · #26 22-10-2011, 08:37 PM

sis calm down jump from window doesnt solve ur problem . think about kids, don think for urself. i suggestion is to meet that girl and tell her off or ask advice from woman charter wat the next step to help solve ur problem

Ichigo_Kurosaki · #27 23-10-2011, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raftime68

sis calm down jump from window doesnt solve ur problem [/B]. think about kids, don think for urself.

Where you gotten this idea that TS is gonna jump? You posted in wrond thread, is it?

From what I've read all of TS posts in this thread and her postings in other threads, she is not those "Suicidal Type" type la. She's an eye for an eye type. The only form of suicide that she committed is her marriage with her partner-in-crime fling/friend(s)

Quote:

Originally Posted by raftime68

i suggestion is to meet that girl and tell her off

You really anyhow post. Didn't you read that her hubby partner in crime is her best friend and she don't wanna back-off?

Quote:

Originally Posted by raftime68

ask advice from woman charter wat the next step to help solve ur problem

This thread is already kinda confusing and not making much sense, please la, leave woman charter out of this discussion la.

capteiji · #28 24-10-2011, 12:03 PM

Hi candypuss,

This thing not only happened to you. Me, as a man, too. we have 2 kids now and u know what, my wife recently keep on finding excuses to go back her hometown.

I found out from her sms in her phone that she is always meeting up with her ex and if i am no wrong, she is having sex with him always.

Here i am trying my best to fullfill my duty as husband and father and yet there she is doing this.

I never ever question her as i do not want to hurt both my kids who is now at 5 & 7 years old.

I never even cheated her before until a month ago, i look for FL to relieve my urge. (she never have sex wih me for more than a year)

I have to keep quiet for the time being until both my kid grow older and then i shall see if i should so my separate way with her.

But i must said that until the very last encounter with a FL, I have never ever been unfaithful to her, well i am not now.

goodpartner · #29 24-10-2011, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by capteiji

I have to keep quiet for the time being until both my kid grow older and then i shall see if i should so my separate way with her.

Side-track a bit. I don't understand why so many parents "sacrifice" their own happiness for the sake of "bringing up the kids"?

Heard so much of these; couple keep their marriage because of their children or face or relative's views, etc.

Aren't there ways to still bring the children up responsibly even though you split with your spouse? If the r/s has already broken down to such things like infidelity where one or neither party wants to redeem, why stay in marriage till "kids grow up" and give up seeking for another more fulfiling r/s with another partner OR remain single??

[Sam's] Asian Values?

IMHO, it's better for the kids to be happy with one parent, then to be unhappy with two. Talk to your wife, see if she wants the full custody of the kids or shared, then work out something man.

Yes, you should be a responsible father, but you only got one life yourself too. Your kids WILL grow up to be adult themselves, and will have their own life's problems, but by then you'll be an old man without love from your partner, sitting at coffeeshop with other old uncles, regreting your life and blaming on your partner, etc.

zacarie · #30 24-10-2011, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by goodpartner

Side-track a bit. I don't understand why so many parents "sacrifice" their own happiness for the sake of "bringing up the kids"?

Heard so much of these; couple keep their marriage because of their children or face or relative's views, etc.

Aren't there ways to still bring the children up responsibly even though you split with your spouse? If the r/s has already broken down to such things like infidelity where one or neither party wants to redeem, why stay in marriage till "kids grow up" and give up seeking for another more fulfiling r/s with another partner OR remain single??

i used to have tt thinking too. stayed on for the sake of the kids. try to work things out. but it wasnt going anywhere. he still continued his ways. and it got worse. he'll be on the phone chatting or msging tt woman even with me ard. i cant live with a man like tt. n so took the courage to walk out of it and i'm much more happier now.

yes. facing difficulties w the kids. getting them adjusted. having to still deal w the irresponsible man. trying to get a lawyer to settle the divorce. but in the long run it'll all be worth it. i think tt when a parent is sad. the kids can feel it too. n it's not healthy for them to not have happy parents. they should be enjoying their childhood. i feel that a single parent can bring up their child just as well as a child with both parent.

if u think it's end of the road for both of u. get out of it then. dont ruin ur own life n happiness. as the kids grow older. they'll understand.
face wise. if they really are ur family, they'll support u. they will not be bothered bout face. cause ur happiness is more important. they will rather u be happy than suffer just for them to look good.