Why do you get married? Why have kids? - Page 2

Oralcraz · #16 19-10-2009, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovetorn

men can't be trusted. i know that i'm not a saint either, so if the guy doesn't mind my past, in what position am i to expect him to stay faithful to me. but sbf proves that 9 out of 10 married men, strays.

Not quite agree with the numbers. There are many married men that don't stray. I have a feel friends who have good relationship with wifey, they don't even go for a massage.....cos wifey takes care of all their needs.
Don't be too pessimistic and having negative mentality about trust with men. Men can be trusted. There are many husbands who take good care of their families. Trust is something that cannot be bought, neither is it a gift, neither is it an obligation or character or personality. Trust between husband and wife must be built, developed and nutured...and it has to be between two persons.
Good luck.

itsabt6x · #17 19-10-2009, 05:31 PM

well, for me.....if i can turn back the clock...i wouldn't want to get married.....

toy811 · #18 19-10-2009, 07:33 PM

My feel is that as long as you can get past your own conscious, you are fine. Living with regrets is the worst la... If you can get past yourself married and go out with other women, different people different standards...

salacity · #19 19-10-2009, 08:36 PM

I got married partly due to compulsion. Although it sucks sometimes I have no regrets. In fact I would add that it is a necessary progress in life.

Bangster · #20 19-10-2009, 10:08 PM

Aiyah...think so much for what..

For me, very simple.

Dont think too much, I love her, she loves me, heck, get married lah.

Want kids? Let nature takes its course lah. When they come, they come.

I hate to plan too much. Impulsive person.

But that's just me.

lovetorn · #21 20-10-2009, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProfessorOokami

IMHO, this was a rather sweeping statement. You are counting on those who had posted in the SBF, which was set up with "cheongsters" in mind, thus you will find a lot of "strayed men" posting. What about counting in those who are not SBF members?? Those non-SBF and non-strays could be in the millions and your stats will be reduced to a mere 0.000001% of the population.

If a few strays worry you too much, my advice: stay away from MEN you will have less worries and less fear.

i agree that i came up with my conclusion based on those who frequent SBF. i know that there are quite a number of men who are committed to their families, faithful to their wives and never stray. but perhaps it's because most of the guys/men in my life are those that play the field.

if i can bring myself to stay away from men, i will. but sadly, i can't. the thrill and excitement that comes with being with a man is just too good to miss out on. afterall, women are made for men and vice versa.

r_tiger · #22 20-10-2009, 12:04 PM

To Lovetorn,

As what another bro has said... u are looking at the wrong place to come up with your conclusion... its like saying u visit the clinic and conclude that 9 out of 10 people are sick people.

As for finding the right men, are you searching at the right place? if u are at a place where all the guys are out partying and looking for ONS...

Well if human do decide to stop getting married.... then it will be the end of the world. I think this is becos we are getting more self-centered. "I" and only "I" come first. "I" will only do things that benefit me.

Yap I have lots of friends who decide to be single or married but no kids. As they 1 the freedom, to do what they 1 and not report 2 any1. Since life is so stressful why make things so difficult by having kids... already have problem earning enof $ for myself, how to have kids... etc

As for me... hmm, anythings goes, I am a happy go lucky guy... dun have any regrets getting married and having 3 beautiful kids... if I can turn back time, I will do it all over again. The only regrets I have is I didnt go out with any gals till its too late... As I was afraid that I will bonk all of them and my conscious tell me not to do it... :-p

Cheonging101 · #23 20-10-2009, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lovetorn

afterall, women are made for men and vice versa.

Err.... I'm sure there are many katoey lovers, gays, lesbians and ladyboys who would disagree with that statement...

Xdecepticon · #24 20-10-2009, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by itsabt6x

well, for me.....if i can turn back the clock...i wouldn't want to get married.....

Cant agree with u more.

Love is Blind. Marriage opens our eye....

lovetorn · #25 20-10-2009, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cheonging101

Err.... I'm sure there are many katoey lovers, gays, lesbians and ladyboys who would disagree with that statement...

god created holes in women and sticks in men. that's the whole idea of bringing 2 together. but of course, some others choose to go against this natural flow. still, the initial idea was for men and women to complete each other.

i know that it's wrong of me to come to my conclusion just based on SBF. but men around me, including my dad, brother and uncles, are just showing me otherwise. i still have faith in men though. i don't want to search for the right guy yet. as of now, i just want to have fun and enjoy life.

starcrosser · #26 20-10-2009, 08:43 PM

Marry her cos i want to be with her.

Have kid cos accident in oversea trip don't wanna murder life.

canI1you · #27 20-10-2009, 09:05 PM

Nowsaday, which man don't stray? 1 out of 10?
Does that make them don't care about their family? 2 out of 10?
So does it matter if man stray or not?

Marriage means 2 persons getting putting up together and compromising each other habit. If putting up with their parent, that makes 3-4 comcomprising their habits. If can't even able to comcomprise 2 persons habits, then forget about marriage. Don't need even to say their parent.

Kids are the responsibility of their parent. You bring them to earth, you have to take good care of them. Don't ever think of having kids to salvage marriage. How many get this workout right? Almost none. This may initially helps however long run still back to square one.

TS, since you like to think, why not put yourself 30 years older and think back. You will know what you need and what decision to make. Ms Lovetorn, do the same too.

canI1you · #28 20-10-2009, 09:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by starcrosser

Have kid cos accident in oversea trip don't wanna murder life.

Yes you can say that and that voice down to responsibility.

lightning · #29 21-10-2009, 02:21 AM

For me it seems that i probably cannot live without sex, but i would like to find a nice woman with good character for comfort of companionship. But kids as i said somewhere before, they can be a headache, heartache and "money"ache. Having kids is my last thing, i would ever think of.

Kids nowadays are hard to control and fiancially have to work my ass out to support. Last time i used to think how nice is to have a small family, perharps the disappointing facts around me changed my mind as i grow older.

Only fewer percentage of ppl i am seeing around having a happy family. This requires the combined efforts of parents to make the family works. difference of ideas on how to bring up and displincine of children is a also a headache.

Kids nowadays you have to monitor them from young till u old. Take care of them when they are still babies and wake up in middle of night to coax them to sleep. Dispiline them for doing a lot of naughty, not doing homeworking, noisy, fighting etc. In their teens, the "nightmare" part, have to monitor them closely, afraid they become "school gansters" pick up fight, smoking, drop out, take drugs and worst, afraid that they become parents too early

Older a bit have to worry if they get into university and fork out lots of money to local or even oversea Uni. Then later have to worry if they get into suitable jobs. Old alreadly worry that if they will pass us around like human ball or put us in old folk dumping ground.

In Sinkapore, cost of living is so high that everyone becomes the working slaves or perharps money making machines to the garment. Lame garment offered some "candies" to coax the younger generations to reproduce more

(maybe more money making machines perharps) The cost of living is so high that the majority of us can only afford to have 2 children the maximum. Why 2 kids enough as most of the sinkaporeans have average of 2K salary, which is just enough for one child per person. And also 2 is just nice as the chlid have companionship & take care of one another and what if "touch wood" one child pass away due to accident or sickness. Still got another one to depend on.

Bear in mind that majority of us with the stagant salary level and expenses keeps rising by the inconsiderate and greedy garment. To have a third child is alraedly putting finacial stress on the family.

Oralcraz · #30 21-10-2009, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lightning

.....
Kids nowadays ......
In Sinkapore, cost of living is so high that everyone becomes the working slaves ...... finacial stress on the family.

Agreed. Upbringing a child is not easy emotionally, physically and financially. Don't forget to include tuition, extra activities (music etc etc). Unless we are not good father, everything don't care, then that's simple ..... but ..... am sure majority are responsible. Cost of living is one of the main reason why I don't want more kids. "Baby bonus" really doesn't help in my opinion. Good luck.