Advise please

[williamangkh]

Hi Bro Charmaine...great to hear everything is working fine for you.

Take care, bro!

[CeiResident]

Originally Posted by adidas88

PRC ...

I would advise against going pub/clubs/ktvs to look for female friendships, for in such places, NOT ALL, but most of the girls there are more liberal and open minded, they love to party, can be addictive and unless you can afford to burn money regularly at these places, or am liberal as well as in a 'swinging' lifestyle, then look elsewhere if you are the more traditional, shy and conservative type.

Even though i may had suffered disappointments in finding true love, i know it does exist, just that one have to work hard for it. Nothing that is good comes easy, but when you achieve it, it's worth every sweat and sacrifice you made.

For 4 yrs i was not myself, living in guilt, for being with her and wasted her time and youth. I hid from everything and everyone, tried to become a robot, someone without feelings or emotions, took on jobs that require no thinking for i did not want to think or be responsible anymore, or desire for anything.

Several times, from the high floor of my apartment, i stared down and wonder would the next life be better. I had been rich i could afford to buy a small yacht as an additional luxury item, and had been so poor a tau sar pau was my main meal for the day, and yet i had never felt emptiness, for there are always opportunities galore as long as one has the brains and prepared to strive hard.

But when one loses love, the emptiness is frightening. You want love, but you dare not try again for fear of losing again. You can only try to live with the emptiness and comes to term with loneliness. Nothing can ever replace the one you had spent years with, not riches, not work, not hobbies, not nightcats. Nothing seems to be able to cover that hole in your heart.

I've been thru this pain and had learnt to live it, used to it already, numbed and strengthened by it. I dont want any of you bros to go thru it, for the emptiness can weaken your mind and make one do foolish things. It gets a lot worse before it gets better, so before it spirals down to the rock bottom, open up your heart to others and find love again thru developement of friendships.

There is no need to suffer, or blame yourself if you had done your best and it was not reciprocated. What was freely given, must accept the fact it may and need not be returned. Life is short, enjoy it while you can and let real friendships at least fill up that gaping hole. Never too old to make friends...


Many people's ( both men and women ) perception of love is of someone who is more than just a doll - an intelligent being who can hold a conversation, comfort you, a slave, obedient and wont talk negatively back, and all that we ever desire and more.

We want someone who gives and gives without taking. We ourselves have no intention of giving or what we will give is only miniscule, just to satisfy our own ego that we 'gave' too and not just 'take' all the time.

The reality of love is to be able to give and take between 2 persons. But the problem arises when one starts to place a value on the 'giving' and 'taking' part. More so in our pragmatic ( politically correct term for kiasu ) Spore society.

How to quantify a value on something as intangible as love? If she kisses me on the cheek, but i kiss her on the lips, am i giving more to her than she to me? She cooks and cleans the house, i bring home the bread, who gives more and who takes more?

It's often our calculative nature over small and trival matters that leads us to fantasize for something better and free if possible too - affairs, separation, divorce, etc.

When love is weighted in pratical terms, placed as a commodity with a value, it loses its magical allure. Thus we loose sight of what love is and will never find it if we continue along life with such calculative attitude...

14/11/2551 marks the first year u have left me officially... I wish u all the best wherever u are now... ..
ในเมื่อสุดท้ายยิ่งรู้.. ยิ่งไม่มีใคร (Yang Ruk Khwan)

[CeiResident]

Originally Posted by BkkResident

Sometimes when i am lazy,i will order room service from my place,if u buay paisey and dun miind,u can always come over to eat with me.



Just a simple meal,hope u dun mind. FOC for u, cheap cheap for me nia.

Missing the good old days back in the city of angels... Cb both of us are resident but leading different lifes now...

The Key

She yearns to simply just to be loved for who she is and not what others expect she should be.

Her heart is carefully locked within her.

If her shining knight in her life can find that key to unlock her cautious heart, she will explode with all of her unexplored and untapped emotions toward him.

Be patient with her and listen to her with all your five senses.

Accept all of her faults and deal with them as well as you can.

Give all that you can and she will do exactly the same.Hold her close to your heart because she will matter when nothing in the world might when you are feeling low.

The key to her heart is simply bring her into your world and combine both worlds to make it as happy, as romantic, as passionate, and as honest and open minded as you can.
She will let you unlock her heart if you can do this.

Take it easy bro. Our present lifestyle is macdonald style - instant gratification. Even if there is just a slight delay, tempers flare instantly. Love escapes not such predicament of our times.

Rather than to live life with a fatalistic attitude, grab life by the horns - make your best effort to win a girl's heart, not just once, but daily. If you gonna wait for love to come by with no effort on your part, then you'll be better off forgetting the existance of love.

If you had done everything humanely possible to give love and it is not reciprocated, than walk away with head held high that you had done your best and she deserves not you. Its not a case of sour grapes, but if your best is not enough, than no point hanging on and mopping about her. Better to hold on to your own self esteem and self worth to find another more deserving of you.
My 5 baht....

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

14/11/2551 marks the first year u have left me officially... I wish u all the best wherever u are now... ..
ในเมื่อสุดท้ายยิ่งรู้.. ยิ่งไม่มีใคร (Yang Ruk Khwan)

bro .. though we have never met and know each other but from ur postings, i sense u have been thru a rough patch not too long ago . ...

u have make it thru the first year, though it's not easy, but u make it .. and there will be many good yrs ahead of u ...

Don't dwell on the past .. always look forward ..
and forget about what cannot be changed.

The brightest future will always be based on a fogotten past.
You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Wisdon does not grow with age nor success ..
It grows with failure.

For everything that happens in a person's life, there is a reason.

[joystick2219]

Originally Posted by Charmaine

Anyway, the dinner wasn't perfect - for one thing, she spent all her time talking to her mum, friends and their boyfriends, leaving me pretty much alone to attempt to decipher what everyone was laughing about based on the very limited Thai vocabulary I had at my disposal. I almost felt embarrassed to speak English at the table - I felt so farang it was an unbelievably uneasy feeling overall. I could only smile and wished I knew Thai.

WEll Charmaine, wat can i say, but all the Best! Hope it all works out well fr U.

Just on yr comment on the Language issue, I too have, many times been in the very same situation...my wife is from some distant exotic land and whenever she meets up with her family and fenzs (with me) she feels very uneasy speaking in Engleeeessshhhh, but chose to speak in her native tongue, though ever1 knows, understands and speaks Engleesshh fluently.

Initially, it was just so sweet, hearing all the mutterings between them, with me just nodding in agreemnet ( dont know wat is being said though, but i could deicifer a little bit, esp on just reading the body language).

But as the years wore on, this family gatherings got really tiresome and a little irritating...I just hate the though of just sitting there, by my lonesome, and PRETENDING to be enjoying myself...so now, whenever there's a familiy gathering (thank googness, its dosnt happen often, as its only when they come Down or we Go Up) I just politley excuse myself...rather be on my own, where i can control my destiny, then be stuck and have ppl "take pity on me" . She too is torn, between being with them and with me.

So this is something that u ought to be getting use too.

This is just not particular to me, but with many familiies with spouces that are of different enthinc backgrds. I have lotsa of friendz in similar situations and they all share the very same sentiments

[motard]

Originally Posted by joystick2219

Just on yr comment on the Language issue, I too have, many times been in the very same situation...my wife is from some distant exotic land and whenever she meets up with her family and fenzs (with me) she feels very uneasy speaking in Engleeeessshhhh, but chose to speak in her native tongue, though ever1 knows, understands and speaks Engleesshh fluently.

Why not try picking up the language?

[CeiResident]

Thanks for your wise words bro... Made it??? But i am never the same guy again tho....

If I'm Gone..
Confession of the day.. 今日的忏悔..

Every step I took, I felt like I was floating.

Every quiet moment alone, I wished I wouldn't dozed off.

Every time I opened my eyes, I felt I just stepped right out of coma.

Every breath I took, I inhaled deep.

Every cough, I felt like I've choked on something.

Every part of my body, ached.

Everything I saw, goes around in circles.

Every time I took my temperature, I hoped my fever won't caused any brain damage..

What if I'm not funny anymore?

What if you cease to love me?

What if I can't wake up from this?

What if....?

If I'm gone, will I cease to exist forever?

If I'm gone, will there be any changes in your life?

If I'm gone, will you feel any sense of loss?

If I'm gone, will you love me more?

If I'm gone, will there be any changes to this world?

If I'm gone, there won't be any changes to this world but there is just one less person you know that ever existed who stopped inhaling the same air you did...

Originally Posted by adidas88

bro .. though we have never met and know each other but from ur postings, i sense u have been thru a rough patch not too long ago . ...

u have make it thru the first year, though it's not easy, but u make it .. and there will be many good yrs ahead of u ...

Don't dwell on the past .. always look forward ..
and forget about what cannot be changed.

The brightest future will always be based on a fogotten past.
You can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

Wisdon does not grow with age nor success ..
It grows with failure.

For everything that happens in a person's life, there is a reason.

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

....
If I'm gone, will I cease to exist forever?

If I'm gone, will there be any changes in your life?

If I'm gone, will you feel any sense of loss?

If I'm gone, will you love me more?

If I'm gone, will there be any changes to this world?

If I'm gone, there won't be any changes to this world but there is just one less person you know that ever existed who stopped inhaling the same air you did...

If u're gone .... nobody will miss u ....

Originally Posted by CeiResident

[Thanks for your wise words bro... Made it??? But i am never the same guy again tho....

why want to be the same when u can be better ??

Sometimes we must be hurt in order to grow.
Sometimes we must fail in order to know.
Sometimes we must lose in order to gain.
Because some lessons in life are best learned through pain.

The happiest people in the world are not those who have no problems,
but those who learn to live with things that are less perfect.

[CeiResident]

Memories of love,with the aid of time,can prove cruelty to many..
therefore,what's sweet,precious,truthful and strong.. take it and treasure it..
and when it turns bitter,disappearing,lies and weak.. dont lie to yourself..
there's no way to forget,no way to give up..just let it heal with time..

Like they said all wells that ends wells. Once the wound heals, all is forgotten....but before u know it, it hurt again.....the same old injury, the same old pain. When's all is said and done, there is no such things as the end."

To everyone who is trying to make their relationships work (be they with WLs or normal gals) ... I wish you all the best ... and my only advice is that life is too short for regrets ... follow your heart as long as you are man enough to bear the consequences and not intentionally hurt anyone along the way
aiya bro adidas the intention is good and the sharing is caring idea is there ... but frankly it really is all for nothing ... how many people when smitten or infatuated with something actually heeds any sort of good intentioned advice on the downside or perils of his actions ????

Newbies will be newbies la ... hell my kakis and i were all noobs when we first started cheonging 12yrs ago, but we still made it through till today, without any of the "freely given, good intentioned" advice that is so prevalent these days. I suppose our experiences helped us somewhat be better cheongsters and people in general (not true la, some of us still remain NO STANDARD cheongsters even till today)

I believe la ... that no one goes for commercial sex looking for love and a life long partner (those IDIOTS that do go for commercial sex looking for the above are 100% KIAM GAN and deserve to get screwed by anyone that does it to them la) ... but in the quirky event that it does happen it is solely up to the individual to weigh up the pros and cons and whatever other considerations that they would have to make and choose his own path.

Frankly I have seen kakis get ripped off royally by WLs and I mean big time screwed ... but on the other hand I have seen kakis that have made their choices and followed their hearts and have found happiness. Who's to say what is right and wrong ... as long as you remain true to yourself and be responsible ... as in you sleep in the bed you make and not give all sorts of lame excuses blaming everyone but yourself ... I feel that is the most important.
<< My views are my views and does not represent any other parties and is not meant to take sides with or against any other parties, i will try to give the gals side of the story, whether i am qualified or whether you believe is up to you cos there are bros here who know me personally...>>


Zouk tonite???? local mainstream course these days nia...

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Memories of love,with the aid of time,can prove cruelty to many..
therefore,what's sweet,precious,truthful and strong.. take it and treasure it..
and when it turns bitter,disappearing,lies and weak.. dont lie to yourself..
there's no way to forget,no way to give up..just let it heal with time..

We can condition ourselves to overcome and adapt to adverse condition.
The choice is up to us to make.


Time do not make changes. Decision do.
Change begin with decision. Not time.

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Like they said all wells that ends wells. Once the wound heals, all is forgotten....but before u know it, it hurt again.....the same old injury, the same old pain. When's all is said and done, there is no such things as the end."

Life ends when u stop dreaming.
Hope ends when u stop believing.
Love ends when u stop caring.
Friendship ends when u stop sharing.

Originally Posted by CeiResident

[I]To everyone who is trying to make their relationships work (be they with WLs or normal gals) ... I wish you all the best ... and my only advice is that life is too short for regrets ... follow your heart as long as you are man enough to bear the consequences and not intentionally hurt anyone along the way
aiya bro adidas the intention is good and the sharing is caring idea is there ... but frankly it really is all for nothing ... how many people when smitten or infatuated with something actually heeds any sort of good intentioned advice on the downside or perils of his actions ????

It's useless to hold or talk to a person anything when he's in love or drunk.

Originally Posted by CeiResident

[
Newbies will be newbies la ... hell my kakis and i were all noobs when we first started cheonging 12yrs ago, but we still made it through till today, without any of the "freely given, good intentioned" advice that is so prevalent these days. I suppose our experiences helped us somewhat be better cheongsters and people in general (not true la, some of us still remain NO STANDARD cheongsters even till today)

一种米养千种人

Originally Posted by CeiResident

[
I believe la ... that no one goes for commercial sex looking for love and a life long partner (those IDIOTS that do go for commercial sex looking for the above are 100% KIAM GAN and deserve to get screwed by anyone that does it to them la) ... but in the quirky event that it does happen it is solely up to the individual to weigh up the pros and cons and whatever other considerations that they would have to make and choose his own path.

Frankly I have seen kakis get ripped off royally by WLs and I mean big time screwed ... but on the other hand I have seen kakis that have made their choices and followed their hearts and have found happiness. Who's to say what is right and wrong ... as long as you remain true to yourself and be responsible ... as in you sleep in the bed you make and not give all sorts of lame excuses blaming everyone but yourself ... I feel that is the most important.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

[CeiResident]

Wah Aarchan adidas, u follow up my quotes with your dosage of wise words sia... Peifu, peifu... u are my master indeed....

[CeiResident]

Thanks for your pm bro..

Three things in life that, once gone, will never come back.
Time. Words. & Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost.
Peace. Hope. & Honesty.

Thee things in life that are most valuable.
Love. Self-confidence. & Friends.

Three things in life that are never certain.
Dreams. Success. & Fortune.

Three things in life that makes a man.
Hardwork. Sincerity. & Commitment.

Three things in like that can destroy a man.
Alcohol. Pride. & Anger.

Three things in life that, once lost, are hard to build up.
Respect. Trust. & Friendship.

Three things in life that never fail.
True love. Determination. & Belief

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

Thanks for your pm bro..

Three things in life that, once gone, will never come back.
Time. Words. & Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost.
Peace. Hope. & Honesty.

Thee things in life that are most valuable.
Love. Self-confidence. & Friends.

Three things in life that are never certain.
Dreams. Success. & Fortune.

Three things in life that makes a man.
Hardwork. Sincerity. & Commitment.

Three things in life that, once lost, are hard to build up.
Respect. Trust. & Friendship.

Three things in life that never fail.
True love. Determination. & Belief

Three things in life that one should have:
Hope, Peace and Honesty

Three things in like that can destroy a person.
Greed. Pride. & Anger.

[CeiResident]

When r u treating me to cold beer bro, always chak me sia haha..

[adidas88]

Originally Posted by CeiResident

When r u treating me to cold beer bro, always chak me sia haha..

dun liddat said lar ... me backup u mah ...

cold beer in BKK or PRC ??