Do you regret marrying?

[4getful]

Originally Posted by momogaga

It is very trying time for me emotionally. I want to leave and be with the love of my life but marriage vows, family and financial burden are holding me back. I used to have friends and family care and concern about me when the incident happen but now I am more or less alone in everything I do everyday.

I guess you are having another woman now? If so, marriage n courtship is totally different thing. In Courtship, you can fuck her song song n no need responsibility. But in marriage, you are liable under wc, you might not be able to live like a man anymore if the ex spouse decided to be nasty. you can be forever in poverty, no place to live and even sent to jail if you have children and your ex spouse make life dufficult for you, that is why no brave enough man wanted to get married. Should think thoroughly....

[4getful]

Originally Posted by 21MARTELL

Correct me if I am wrong, so most bros here are trying to say, most guys do not intentionaly wanted to get married? Most are more of the " bo bian" situation ?

There are many sg men marrying foreign bride. I believe many wanted to get married but are held back by circumstances. There is a so called wc in the marriage cert. Some women only look for well to do husband, as it mean potential income be it in marriage or divorce. Some men do not feel the urge in settle down as there are plently of women willingly to open leg, be ons, be it in a r/s or be it thrill. So it seems like no point getting a women n give up all other women. Somemore there are many adultery cases, these cases are categorised as adultery because they are married, if not married, it is no big deal as many are doing the sex with many different men n women before their marriage. It still look like it is a good catch to marry a foreign women when they are pure n virgin n pretty n have little education in understanding how they can exploit the wc to their advantage. But i believe it is a matter of time they start to learn n exploit it n divorce cases will rocket up high.

[momogaga]

Originally Posted by topcook1

So I see....u were seeking another greener pasture .....now i know why your relatives shy away from u.....

Yes. Of course I know the lure of greener pasture is not always end up the best. But at this moment my feelings grown stronger. I don't think I'm someone who acted just because the grass is greener on the other side. I was exposed and the only emotional comfort and support I am getting right now is in that direction. Which makes my will the more stronger. But dealing with parents and the thought of the separation process/legal involved just seems too much and too painful to take on at this time. Yet I have my own happiness to think about.

[lustforlove]

Yes super regret. Marry for all e wrong reasons.
Can only blame myself for being young and stupid.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by momogaga

Thanks bro. I don't know what you went through. I also deep down knows what I want. But I am even doubting myself. Is it worth destroying everything for that new person. I don't know if I am thinking right and most importantly I can't bear to face the consequence of ending it.

I once had a good friend told me, the sweetest love is the one that you can never possess. Cos this is the love that you will learn to cherish and hold true to your heart. One thing i know, you have to put on a "black and wicked" heart to walk out of a marriage especially if the other party stills hold hopes of reconciliation. I can tell you till today i am still haunted by the images of my ex and daughter all huddle up in a corner hugging each other crying their eyes out. All because I wanted to start a new life with someone new. But honestly, after so many years already, i learn it all actually one vicious cycle. What you think is a new life is just a reboot of your old...

[momogaga]

Originally Posted by HonkyTonkyMan

I once had a good friend told me, the sweetest love is the one that you can never possess. Cos this is the love that you will learn to cherish and hold true to your heart. One thing i know, you have to put on a "black and wicked" heart to walk out of a marriage especially if the other party stills hold hopes of reconciliation. I can tell you till today i am still haunted by the images of my ex and daughter all huddle up in a corner hugging each other crying their eyes out. All because I wanted to start a new life with someone new. But honestly, after so many years already, i learn it all actually one vicious cycle. What you think is a new life is just a reboot of your old...

Bro thanks for sharing your experience. Can you share what was your feeling then when you finally got your way and be with that seemingly elusive love. And what is your feeling now? I am hopeful the reason we are ready to risk so much means that it will be a happier ending than our previous state.

[Captainoceania77]

Originally Posted by lustforlove

Yes super regret. Marry for all e wrong reasons.
Can only blame myself for being young and stupid.

Most marriage couple said the same too....even my mum admitted too.

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by momogaga

Bro thanks for sharing your experience. Can you share what was your feeling then when you finally got your way and be with that seemingly elusive love. And what is your feeling now? I am hopeful the reason we are ready to risk so much means that it will be a happier ending than our previous state.

Feelings? I can tell you, the feeling of guilt will never leave you. Even thou you may think you have done the right thing. In particular, when I had to attend my ex mom funeral. I was apprehensive about how were her relatives, the same relatives who had attended our wedding, see me. Had to put on a brave front throughout the whole thing.

As i stated in another thread, there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Both marriages has it plus and minus. What I learn and hopefully have improved on, are the mistakes I did in my earlier marriage. In particular on the area of caring for my kids. Before I was the big man, everything on children leave it to the wife. But now i personally partake in my son upbringing.

So if you think leaving one marriage for another will be a happy ending thereafter, you are wrong. You have to actually put in the effort to make it a happy one.

[Xyberduke]

I divorce my ex-wife who loved me and married someone who loved herself.
Do I regret. My first thoughts yes. On second thought I don't and I felt fortunate to marry my wife.
The first two years was simply retribution for me and I never felt loved, and was simply a driver, a punching bag, an ATM, a personal assistance, etc.. But that was exactly how I treated my ex-wife in the past and our marriage failed because she simply endured my nonsense and never woke me up. I woke up and took it like a man.

Throughout my current marriage, there were times that I did regret but when that happened, I will tell myself that I chose my wife and signed on the dotted line. I have to make it work. And I never allowed a problem to go unresolved after a quarrel. And even if it's my wife's mistake which is the case most of the time (haha), I will be the one to apologise because she will never do it. That's simply because I treasure our relationship more than my ego.

So, yes, I regret marrying, if I ever had the chance to choose again, I may choose to remain single.

Am I happy today? Yes I am very happy with my wife despite the downs as I enjoyed the ups. You made the choice, you make the marriage work. Don't allow regret to become a reason to give up on marriage....

[Ngengheng]

Dont understand why man knows marriage are difficult and woman hard to live together and yet so many man still love jumping into the grave...Because of sex? Loneliness?To have children?....in the end so many regretted . I had seen guys divorce few time and never learn lesson...perhaps is the positive attitude..never give up...thinking the best will come...

[momogaga]

Originally Posted by Ngengheng

Dont understand why man knows marriage are difficult and woman hard to live together and yet so many man still love jumping into the grave...Because of sex? Loneliness?To have children?....in the end so many regretted . I had seen guys divorce few time and never learn lesson...perhaps is the positive attitude..never give up...thinking the best will come...

To have children for old parents, to apply for hdb else no shelter no asset, pressure by thoughts of having young children when old age, wanting to focus on career with woman supposedly providing the support

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by 21MARTELL

Correct me if I am wrong, so most bros here are trying to say, most guys do not intentionaly wanted to get married? Most are more of the " bo bian" situation ?

bo bian is true to most of them since their girls will be pressuring them to get married b4 their own expiry dates.

[HCKing]

Originally Posted by momogaga

Yes. Of course I know the lure of greener pasture is not always end up the best. But at this moment my feelings grown stronger. I don't think I'm someone who acted just because the grass is greener on the other side. I was exposed and the only emotional comfort and support I am getting right now is in that direction. Which makes my will the more stronger. But dealing with parents and the thought of the separation process/legal involved just seems too much and too painful to take on at this time. Yet I have my own happiness to think about.

if u r really confident that the new one will work out then be decisive and go all out for it. there will definitely be plenty of losses due to divorce but wat else can u do except for lan lan suck thumbs and get over it?

[Ngengheng]

Originally Posted by HCKing

if u r really confident that the new one will work out then be decisive and go all out for it. there will definitely be plenty of losses due to divorce but wat else can u do except for lan lan suck thumbs and get over it?

See that most man out there very afraid OC....perhaps due to respect...

[HonkyTonkyMan]

Originally Posted by Xyberduke

I divorce my ex-wife who loved me and married someone who loved herself.
Do I regret. My first thoughts yes. On second thought I don't and I felt fortunate to marry my wife.

My exact sentiments, after marrying my second one, i began to realize how true the saying "better to be loved than to love". That are times I can't help but feel that karma is very real. What goes around comes around.