The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by dj1979

how many brothers actually make love wif the one they love most..

too long...i can't remember...

JWNY

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by primalhunter

I laid down the gauntlet, I said I am ready to embrace her fully, gave her dateline to think over it and call me when she is ready..... very businesslike, i know... but i was at my wits end then and i was prepared to walk away.... trully walk away.

Been there, did that but unfortunately found it too difficult to walk away completely. I'm still trying to walk away as far as I can.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by primalhunter

Do you believe in love at first sight! I tell u, believe it or not, the first time i met her, i knew she was goona be my wife! serious!!! that was 15years ago. and here we are.

I believe in love at first sight. Happened to me only once and it was the one I love the most.

I married someone else but till this day still love the one I loved at first sight more.

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by JWNY

Why marry someone who doesn't think your marriage will last?

JWNY

Yup. That's what I thought about thus leading me not to marry the one I love most.

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by surfer888

Yup. That's what I thought about thus leading me not to marry the one I love most.

Do WE, men, think a lot?

JWNY

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by steamystreamsg

In most cases, the one you marry may not necessary be the one you love most....love can't be used as bread

Totally agree. Love is blind but Marriage should not be. The very words my mum advised me on when I went to her with my predicament.

Upped you for hitting bullseye!

[Shuang_Jie_Gun]

Ai qing bu neng dang fan chi~love at 1st sight,used to believe it but not now liao.

[linnaohia1]

Haha I hv a lot of LAFS, but then hor, not mutual ....
Maybe fark at first sight quality lor ... lil bro control thinking ....
For marriage, most impt must be mutual .... give and take is a must.
For guys, always recommend that you always admit wrong (whether u right or wrong) ... sooner or later chabor will realised she unreasonable .... heheh

[primalhunter]

Originally Posted by surfer888

Been there, did that but unfortunately found it too difficult to walk away completely. I'm still trying to walk away as far as I can.

Sigh, I feel your pain bro. If there is any comfort, it was not all smooth sailing when i got my dreamgirl. There were a lot of quarrels, like any couple, mixed into the happy times. more importantly, having to forget about her episode with my ex buddy(was mad she chose him over me, but that's over now, important thing is the future!), and grappling with the fact that she love u less then u love her, but, like i said.. can't quantify love and also as we go, i find that the love situation has improved, even reversed. not saying i dun love her anymore but her love for me more and more and that made things much easier form then. but bro, it was really tough initially.......

bro, one piece of advice, you need to give ur future relationships a fighting chance, and as long as u are looking back, thinking about THAT ger, u will never move on.... n it won't be fair to ur new love.

[GLHunter]

Originally Posted by surfer888

Mine was 90% my love, 0-10% her love.

I felt that she was toying with me so much that I had to force myself to look another way and marry someone else.

Eg. She made me buy an Air Ticket in the afternoon to meet late at night in another country which I did. Then, she called me 2 hours before the flight and told me that she didn't want to meet me but would be going with her friend instead.

What was worse was that she did this a number of times and every time, I would fall for it. I knew it was going to happen but that small spark of hope was enough to keep me going.

Well, very commonly faithful man are just taken for granted/ as a resource/ a concseller/ a shoulder to cry on, etc. those bitches like to keep the whole relationship (be it best frd/ BGR) alive simply for them to enjoy the attention & privileges.

i have my fair share of heartbreaking events, & i break off from it completely(though i took years to wake up my fucking idea), but never look back since. so now, even though they turn back & seek my attention & friendship, they are just hi bye frd to me & their terrible deeds make them worse than strangers. I believed many bros in this thread learned thru the hard way that it doesn't pay to be a faithful/ loyal person if the other end doesn't appreciate it. So when a relationship dun work out, just let go & move on, we dun need painful memories to chew on when we are old. the ultimate happiness will be to find someone who cherish/ care for you.

those ppl that we tot we loved the most is probably the ones that left us with the most happy memories. well, its over now & we can always create better memories with the current one.

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by GLHunter

(though i took years to wake up my fucking idea)

Waking up is most important bro...many cannot

JWNY

[jonah11]

I read this post with interest.

Just like to enquire bros here. Whenever you are with your gf, do you have this sort of feeling that other gals beside you or female people are much better than your gf? It can looks, character etc.

I have this sort of feeling in both my previous and current relationships.

My ex gf was v beautiful but she was emotionally unstable and our relationship could not last.

My current one takes care of me when I am down and sick. But somehow I got a feeling that she is those who looks up on the better things of life, ie have a better car, carve out a better career etc.

Any experienced bros who can advise me? Thanks!

[titan524]

Hi Bro Sagiboar,

Can't help but relate to your story, because i am about to make a decision that could end up like yours.

I am closing in on mid 30's, have a successful career and after married for 9 years, now with 2 young kids, I can't help but feel i can't go on with my wife. She's a great wife, and mother to our 2 kids but i cant see how we can be together in 10-20 years time.

The problem is me, last year i almost had an affair but stopped short just before it crossed the line. This year i got involved with a younger ger (23 years old) from Beijing whom i am contemplating spending the rest of my life with.

I did tried maintaining this marriage, and like one bro says learn to love the woman you married - but wonder if it's possible to 'sacrifice my personal happiness' and be unhappy for the next 10-20 years until EOL or be selfish and go for the one i really feel for?

Contemplating moving on but as usual worried about the fallout if i proceed with the divorce, the cost (50% i read somewhere), the alimony, the effects on the two kids. I still want a part in my 2 boys life. Am i asking for too much?

This is probably a decision that can make or break the rest of my life. Are you still on ok terms with your ex and get access to your kids?

Originally Posted by sagiboar

itr,

I left my wife for another. While I don't regret being with my current gf, I do regret screwing up my marriage and my son's life. My ex-wife is a really nice person but I was blind then. As one bro said earlier... learn to love most the woman you married.

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by surfer888

Been there, did that but unfortunately found it too difficult to walk away completely. I'm still trying to walk away as far as I can.

if u decide to walk away..dun ever look back..u may find urself thinkin tat its juz this once tat u chose to b weak and think abt her..in the end..tat one time will lead to many more times and in the end..u find urself back to the same old shit again..

be strong for ur happiness

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by JWNY

Do WE, men, think a lot?

JWNY

we think too much, too often..sometimes by thinkin too much..we end up losing our chance