Problem .... how you will solve it

chenggh · #1 01-10-2005, 01:33 AM

Just have a tcss with 1 of my female friends.

She is around 30 marry. She is pregnant now. The problem is that she is not sure whether the child is her husband. Ask her how she get into such proble. She tell me that during her business trip to oversea she get drunk & done it with her collegue & also the night b4 she go for the business she also done with her husband...

The problem she really don't know who the baby is?? Worst still the collegue is an American. Don really know how to advice her.. She ask me should she go for an abortion. I dont know how to say as I afraid that my word will kill a life so just quiet.

Ask her why she do it with the collegue, she tell me she is not the 1st time doing it already as she love him. Ask her how abt her husband she say the same.. Blur man. Lastly, she say when do with that collegue alway wear protection, take pills but that nite too high (because both are drunk)

Back home decide to post this & see what advice brother here can come up..

Sincerely pls give some sensible advice as it is really happen to my friend..

Thk you

Fantastic4 · #2 01-10-2005, 01:40 AM

Bro....when she had sex with her colleague, was a condom used?

chenggh · #3 01-10-2005, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fantastic4

Bro....when she had sex with her colleague, was a condom used?

Sorry sorry.. I add in some word.. Usually got wear, but she & her collegue both high (drunk) so forget. That why she is a bit unsure abt the baby. if not 100% is her husband already...

Eternity_Gal · #4 01-10-2005, 01:52 AM

If ur friend do not 've this courage to face his present husband, she should not consider bringing in this baby to the world. Though in abortion an innocent life would 've been taken away, she should 've consider the difficulties in bringing up a child, which may not belong to her husband, in the near future which the possiblity of misunderstanding is high. However, in such case that she is in dilemma and not in the right state to decide whether to give birth to the child. The best thing you can do is to extend ur help to her, for e.g to accompany her to take up a test on the source of the infant before giving birth.

chenggh · #5 01-10-2005, 02:04 AM

Do you mean that before child birth can test DNA???
If yes,

Do you mean that she need to get some blood from her husband? Or ask her husband go for the test. If it belong to 2nd point. I am sad to say she still have no gather the courage to tell her husband.

whoelse1000 · #6 01-10-2005, 02:49 AM

It is not right to push the wrongdoings of the adults to the unborn child. She should just be truthful abt it and if her husband really love her, they can work it out.

sg_boytoy · #7 01-10-2005, 04:51 AM

Bro chenggh, when you say the overseas colleague is an American, I assume he's an ang moh. Even if she confesses to her husband and he forgives her and they decide to keep the child, the baby will be an Eurasian, at that stage, the whole world will know she played punk, her husband must also be prepared to tahan the backlash of having a wife like her.

On the other hand, even if the colleague is an American Chinese, or Asian, it will be very hard to keep such a secret from being exposed in some form or manner in their later years. So while your female colleague is afraid of revealing the truth and confessing to her husband now, she will have to entertain the fact that many years down the road, there will be situations where this truth may be exposed. She will have to reveal this affair at that point, when the child is already older...

As much as I'm against abortion, I think your colleague is left with a single option if she intends to let this affair remain a secret.

SamiHyypia · #8 01-10-2005, 10:01 AM

hai...like what my mum always pull my ear and nag..."zao zhi jing ri, he bi dang chu?" face the music

robotech1 · #9 01-10-2005, 10:52 AM

headache really a big headache....

guess all parties will be affected. especially the child is innocent.

astrozz · #10 01-10-2005, 11:02 AM

Its quite a dillemma for your friend ... but I kinda agree with bro sg boytoy , even if she can pull this thru now , the truth will be out later on in life and the risk of hurting more people (including this child) will be higher..
I am sorry but I think abortion is the best out of the worst . After that she should pick up the pieces and move on , if she does love her hubby, it is advisable and best to end it with her colleague .
Loving two men at the same time can never work out.

sg_boytoy · #11 01-10-2005, 11:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baron17

There are several theories which we can explore... More of a scientific analysis i've got here. Hope it helps.

Bro baron17, I must admit your post is one of the few interesting ones I've come across on such topics, nice one

Power · #12 01-10-2005, 11:31 AM

[QUOTE=sg_boytoy]Bro chenggh, when you say the overseas colleague is an American, I assume he's an ang moh. Even if she confesses to her husband and he forgives her and they decide to keep the child, the baby will be an Eurasian, at that stage, the whole world will know she played punk, her husband must also be prepared to tahan the backlash of having a wife like her.

Agree wif Bro Toyboy. Not much of a choice really.

foolish_ · #13 01-10-2005, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baron17

More of a scientific analysis i've got here. Hope it helps.

Good scientific insight bro baron17. Hmm, let me give my version of layman logic.

Since her hubby didn't use condom that night, (if not she won't be suspecting that the baby could be her hubby's what), it would be logical to say that he hasn't been using one for quite some time right.

If he hadn't been using one for some time and there were no signs of pregnancy, but she is now pregnant after just one night with her colleague, what are the chances the baby is her hubby's?

If the baby belongs to the colleague, who happens to be an 'Ang moh', I guess her options are

1. Tell hubby the truth and hope he accepts it (unlikely that he will accept it as it is impossible to hide the fact his wife had an affair from the public, baby will have Eurasian look mah)

2. Divorce the husband and bring up the child as a single mother

3. Divorce the husband and marry the colleague (if he is available that is)

4. Abort the baby ( I don't condone it but looks like best option)

Don't wish to rub salt into the wound but let this be a lesson for all, Do anything you want but at the end, you have to face the consequences.

jng1103 · #14 01-10-2005, 12:15 PM

threadstarter,
pls kindly update us when the child is born. does he/she has yellow skin (asian) or white skin(ang moh)

very exciting outcome... heheh...

jimbo

fun4evergood · #15 01-10-2005, 12:20 PM

Running away from a problem is not a solution, neither aborting it will solve it...... the root of the problem is that she is fooling around with 2 man....haiz...