Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[asdfghjkl]

Originally Posted by lkyin1

1) cat cu

maybe can put in simple wording.. what is "cat cu"?

[magixskin]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

maybe can put in simple wording.. what is "cat cu"?

cut penis

[jf66312]

agree with bro singviet...

sometimes i see the way my oc handle my little one i cant take it at times but have to close one eye...

if i make too much comments she will retort and say " then u stay home & take care la , i go work "...

bo tay & giu khong noi but have to swallow it and keep quiet..

as for public transport , now my oc knws how to travel frm Jurong to Woodlands via public transport (not taxi )....

think needs time and training...

for bro blast88 - maybe your oc dun feel that it is expensive to travel to the temple since it is 3 stations away..slowly take time to educate her ....

but nowadays i also quite sceptical in taking mrt liao since so many issues have surfaced with mrt recently also....

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by lkyin1

Since bro SingViet talk abt the negative side of their culture. letz us discuss what are the negative side.

1) cat cu
2) jealous easily
3) demanding
4) fierce
5) poor $ management
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)

other broz can feel free to add in

- lazy family members that don't work and keep demanding money from you. Foreigners are ATM that never run out of money.
- marriage for money, not love.
- having viet bf in Vn even after marriage in Singapore
- cheating foreigners in business (very common)
- sex is like eating Com Tam, what's the big fxxk about it?
- why daughters need education? can write name can roi. Send them to work at young age to earn money for parents. (for lower income group). At younger age, work as maids. After 16, work as hookers. Daughters are like `money tree'. Young gals are sold at higher price relative to young boys as it's widely believed that gals can earn money for family.
- drug abuse are common, so no big fxxk
- siblings are family, so even if one kills another, no one should report them to police. Parents will tahan whatever wrong things that children do.

wait till i have time, i will write more...

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Trusting your spouse is necessary to get the relationship going, but trust is earned, not given. I find Singaporean husbands very accommodating to their viet spouse, she can do whatever she wants and the Singaporean husband will not object even if he is not happy. For example, my wife's friend will give her daughter and husband fish sauce to drink when they are down with fever. The husband knows its not right to do that, but he dare not voice out . There are times when we need to voice out and not be taken for a ride. Due to cultural differences, i would say its good to have a lower level of trust during the first few years of marriage. As time passes by, higher level of trust can be given after more time together. Too many bros here see too much positive aspects of viet culture and i will say you are putting yourself at much risk. Don't just know the good, do find out about the bad too. When you start to discover about the negative side of their culture, you will start to feel scary.

Agreed with u. Marriage is a journey not a process.
As we married a viet spouse, we have to know n understand their culture, which will in turn explain why they do this do that and what cant be done with them. Good and bad have to know.
As for things that we think are not necessary or not so right, like the fish sause thingie, we have to be firm with ourselves and with them.
Also have to get them to understand our side of culture. Talk to them, explain to them why we do somethings and not others.
Marriage concerned 2 sides not just 1 side only.

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by asdfghjkl

mind sharing more about this area, esp. the fish sauce.. like to know more about it.

Hey! 诸葛亮!
U posted here again! Welcome back!
If not some bros will say that i chased u away from the thread.

I suggest that u heed bro shysaint's suggestion: to compile a list of questions so bros can better answer to them. But before that do spend sometime reading through the thread. I find its a form of respect to the bros who have previously shared here before.

BTW, i also got some questions for u:
1. Are u a gal or a guy?
2. Why u suddenly so interested in vietnamese spousese?
3. Are u planning to get a vietnamese spouse? (if u r a guy)
Thanks, 诸葛亮!

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Its a long story. I have shared quite a bit of it in this thread. Do spend some time to look for them. As for fish sauce, some provinces at the Mekong Delta believe that fish sauce can lower your temperature when you have fever. This is largely because they are poor and do not want to spend money to buy western medicine. Fish sauce is so salty, drinking it often will cause kidney and liver failure.

Ya, true. They r too poor to buy medicine so go to things that r readily available and cheap or free. Have u guys heard before that eating unripe banana regularly for a prolonged period can cure yur gastric pain problem?

[vietboy]

[QUOTE=Blast88;7250739]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Trusting your spouse is necessary to get the relationship going, but trust is earned, not given. I find Singaporean husbands very accommodating to their viet spouse, she can do whatever she wants and the Singaporean husband will not object even if he is not happy.

These is exactly what I have been doing for the past 2 years, my wife only know how to take taxi from point A to point B & simply refused to take MRT or bus, in fact I have been driving her around since her very 1st day here, I have guided her how to take our public transport & even bought her the ez link card but she just refused to take those public transport when I'm not available to drive her. Eg, she frequently going to 'si ma lu' temple for prayer & it just only 3 mrt station away from our house but she still prefer to take taxi to & fro, what can I do

For me, i will nag n nag at her till she will not take taxi unless necessary.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Golden question

Most is like that so is not only a few only,my wife have to sit on the first row or beside or directly behind the driver so that she dont vomit

U think is funny for her to do that ... For them why they do this , they might not understand or they might not able to describe why they do this ... I guess This shows that you don't understand either ...

I not sure how to explain to you ... BUT it works ... it relating to your visions looking at distance and speed ....

It something like when u talking the pirate ship ... the scared and clever ones will sit at the lowest point ...the not scared one and the not clever ones will sit at the tail of the ship ... feeling is totally different ... feared factor is also different too ..

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by Golden question

my wife always like to use a 20 cents coin to rub against her skin to until redness when she is tired or sick.i find it disgusting but she say it help to release the blood so that she will feel better

She ask me to do for her but i always reject and when she want to try on me when i am sick,i push away her hand

I tried that before. It hurt so much , my tears nearly rolled down!
Did it really feel better, no it did not. I still need medicine. I think its psychologically makes u better. After that, no more for me. I dun wan to torture myself.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by vietboy

Ya, true. They r too poor to buy medicine so go to things that r readily available and cheap or free. Have u guys heard before that eating unripe banana regularly for a prolonged period can cure yur gastric pain problem?

I only knows my wife like to eat steam banana with rice

[Blast88]

Originally Posted by SingViet

- lazy family members that don't work and keep demanding money from you. Foreigners are ATM that never run out of money.
- marriage for money, not love.
- having viet bf in Vn even after marriage in Singapore
- cheating foreigners in business (very common)
- sex is like eating Com Tam, what's the big fxxk about it?
- why daughters need education? can write name can roi. Send them to work at young age to earn money for parents. (for lower income group). At younger age, work as maids. After 16, work as hookers. Daughters are like `money tree'. Young gals are sold at higher price relative to young boys as it's widely believed that gals can earn money for family.
- drug abuse are common, so no big fxxk
- siblings are family, so even if one kills another, no one should report them to police. Parents will tahan whatever wrong things that children do.

wait till i have time, i will write more...

Hi Bro SV,

The ways you describe vietnamese I'm sure they will throw rotten egg at you. I have been to Vietnam & my wife hometown in chau doc for not less than 10 times, I don't feel any of the threat you describe as per you posted, sound like you really have bad experiences.

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Golden question

i push away her hand

To me and IMHO, You could have handed the situation in wrong way ... whether or not its works .. u have to understand that it is not the method that counts.. it is that 'THOUGHT or INTENTION' that you have to know ..

dun say they are vietnamese la , if she is a Singapore Gal .. she will also not happy ...

Maybe we can reverse the scenerio ... u use a CHinese method to treat her becasue u are into chinese medince, lets say u give her drink a very bitter medicine .. when u bring the bowl of medicine to her mouth, she push your hand away without explaining ... tell us .. HOW will you FEEL?

I always share that we have to understand the culture how Vietnameses shows their concern to their love ones ... it may not be the way that we want or in the way it is express in our culture .. its their cultures to show their way of concerns to you ,

They are brought up in such a way and in such a method ...

we are brought up in our singapore ways and cultures ..

the QN is "IS OUR CULTURES AND WAYS OF DOING THINGS CORRECT"

[vietboy]

[QUOTE=Golden question;7251367]

Originally Posted by Blast88

Is a good example as what bro singviet say,too many sg husband is giving in to their viet wife.But for your wife to stay here for the past 2 years and still take taxi from point A to B and even 3 mrt stops journey she also take taxi is a bit too much.If first few months,maybe i can say she need time to adjust but already 2 years already.

She have to start to learn to do things if she want to continue to live here.Dont spolit her by ferry her that often.I am not saying that u must ill treat her but learn to tighten the rope when is necessary and dont like what bro singviet say,let your wife take u for the ride.

I might sound busybody to u or too straight forward but if your wife is a understanding person and love u,she will go learn herself.everything depends on her,u can guide her but dont expect the environment to change to suit her but she must change herself to suit the environment

Agreed with u on the last part but they are stubborn by nature so do give them sometime. But like u said, 2 yrs is quite some time roi.
Blast88, dun spoilt her. Get her to understand that taxi in sing n vietnam r not same, it cost 3 times to take taxi here. If not use my method.

[Blast88]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Simple explanation for your case ....

They have been on their own transport (i.e. motor bike) in Vietnam since the day they can ride .... Next if no bike, they take taxi ....

NExt important factor ... Public transport in VN sucks big time ... i.e. BUS ...
if u have look at their bus, maybe u can understand.

Therefore, these concepts are form and they bring it over here to singapore , thinking that it is the same in vn ...

Next .. Since you have Car ... why she need to take bus and MRT .... They will tell you, how much it cost for me to take taxi, only once a while and not everyday, definitely u are affordable to give me take taxi ... Although u are her husband, she will still thinks like that.

The only thing u can do is give her time ...

The reason given by my bx is she feel phobia when train go undertunnel & that deter her from taking mrt. Question is not about the affordability to take taxi, why not save up the money & buy somethings useful for our son