Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[kaide]

Thanks for all the nice jokes sharing.

[toxeth]

So many nice jokes. Thank you to all who contributed nice jokes.

[Hurricane88]

🌹 *Flowers Blossoms Even In Forest Where There Is Nobody To Admire Their Beauty*

*Let Us Continue Our Good Work Honestly Even When Nobody Appreciates Us*...!"

🌹 *When you challenge People, you will lose one day.*
*When you challenge yourself, you will Win Everyday.*
*Destiny is not created by the shoes We wear;*
*But by the Step we Take...*

🌹 *There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.*

🌹 *Don't ever promise more than you can deliver.*
*But always TRY to deliver more than you promise.*

*Have A Great Day* 🌹

[Hurricane88]

Health secretary in a briefing to President Joe Biden: "Sir, in Chennai, India, 36 Tamillians have been killed due to Corona Virus"

Biden is silent at first.. His lips quiver. His hands shiver. His eyes swells up. He is unable to speak, except to bury his face in his hands n whimper, "On my God..."

The Health Secretary is stunned! He never imagined that this event could affect his President so badly!

After a few minutes, in a trembling voice, Biden asks "So, how many millions are there in *one tamillion?*" 😜🤪😂🤣

🤦‍♀😱🤣🤣🤣👆👌

[Hurricane88]

*Management Lesson*

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops - a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well.

At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six feet eight, built like a wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground. He glared at the driver and said, "Big John doesn't pay!" and sat down at the back.

Did I mention that the driver was five feet three, thin, and basically meek? Well, he was. Naturally, he didn't argue with Big John, but he wasn't happy about it.

The next day the same thing happened - Big John got on
again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down.

And the next day, and the next.

This disturbed on the bus driver, who started losing sleep over the way Big John was taking advantage of him. Finally he could stand it no longer.

He signed up for body building courses, karate, judo, and all that good stuff. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong; what's more, he felt really good about himself.

So on the next Monday, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, "Big John doesn't pay!"

The driver stood up, glared back at the passenger, and screamed, "And why not?"

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, "Big John has a bus pass."

MANAGEMENT LESSON:
Be Sure to Identify the problem clearly before working hard to solve it.
Most solutions are simple, we complicate the issues.

Confront your problems early, don't lose sleep over them & stay blessed forever.

[Hurricane88]

The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business .

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.

An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia.
Ruled by a pair of nuts!

[otamay]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

🌹 *Flowers Blossoms Even In Forest Where There Is Nobody To Admire Their Beauty*

*Let Us Continue Our Good Work Honestly Even When Nobody Appreciates Us*...!"

🌹 *When you challenge People, you will lose one day.*
*When you challenge yourself, you will Win Everyday.*
*Destiny is not created by the shoes We wear;*
*But by the Step we Take...*

🌹 *There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.*

🌹 *Don't ever promise more than you can deliver.*
*But always TRY to deliver more than you promise.*

*Have A Great Day* 🌹

Great day to read such inspirational quotes, thanks.

[SixDotz]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Health secretary in a briefing to President Joe Biden: "Sir, in Chennai, India, 36 Tamillians have been killed due to Corona Virus"

Biden is silent at first.. His lips quiver. His hands shiver. His eyes swells up. He is unable to speak, except to bury his face in his hands n whimper, "On my God..."

The Health Secretary is stunned! He never imagined that this event could affect his President so badly!

After a few minutes, in a trembling voice, Biden asks "So, how many millions are there in *one tamillion?*" 😜🤪😂🤣

🤦‍♀😱🤣🤣🤣👆👌

Very good one hehe

[dyelook]

Originally Posted by Yakuza

Tks for the upz Bro .. You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to dyelook again.
have put you in my watchlist for 2nd round

its okie bro... just spreading points around...

Originally Posted by dumdum

Returned you +17 pts

thanks bro...

laughter bumps...

[ah rat]

___________

[Lowrain]

Originally Posted by ah rat

This one is fake news, POFMA by aneh

[Hurricane88]

Touching story from Readers Digest.

Last night I was sittiung in the living room, talking 2 my wife about life.. In-between, we talked about the idea of living or dying. I told her : 'Never let me live in a vegetative state, totally dependent on machines and liquids from a bottle. If you see me in that state I want you to disconnect all the connections that are keeping me alive, I'd much rather die.'

My wife got up from her seat with the look of admiration towards me proceeded to disconnect the Cable tv, DVD, ,the Computer, the Cell Phone, the iPod, and the Xbox, and went to the bar and threw away all my whisky, Gin, Vodka the Beer from the fridge...

I ALMOST DIED!!

-Think before you speak. The female brain works on a different wavelength!
😜💃🏼👍🏽
-Reader's Digest

[Hurricane88]

Two old Parsi ladies Dollymai and Mehramai were talking about their grandchildren.

Dollymai said, "Each year I send each of my grandchildren a card with a generous cheque inside. I never hear from them neither receive a thank you message !"

Mehramai replies. "I too send them a very generous cheque. I hear from them within a week after they receive it. In fact, they each pay me a personal visit."

"Wow !, How come ?”remarked Dollymai.

"Very simple solution, *I don't sign the cheque."*
🤣😜🤣

[Hurricane88]

*A MESSAGE TO ALL MEN*

🌸 When choosing a woman who works, you have to accept that she can't handle the house.

🌸 If you have chosen a housewife who can take care of you and fully manage your household, you have to accept that she is not earning money.

🌸 If you choose an obedient woman, you must accept that she depends on you and you must ensure her life.

🌸 If you decide to be with a strong woman, you have to accept that she is tough and she has her own opinion.

🌸 If you choose a beautiful and high maintenance woman, then you will have to accept big expenses.

🌸 If you decide to be with a successful woman, you must understand that she has character and has her own goals and ambitions.

There is no such thing as "the perfect woman". Everyone has their own riddle, which makes us unique! 🦄

[Masterl23]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain. With a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel. Has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, and takes care of business .

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada. Self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet.
Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages.

An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 100, a man is like North Korea and Russia.
Ruled by a pair of nuts!

This one is nice, love it.