Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[warbird]

The Naked Marathon Runner

A woman was having an affair. One rainy day she was in bed with her Lover when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

Woman: "OMG - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window". Lover: It"s raining out there!" Woman: "If my husband catches us, he"ll kill us!"

The lover jumps out of the window. As he runs down the street in rain, he discovered he had run right into the middle of the town"s marathon. He started running alongwith the others, 300 of them.

After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked". "Oh yes!" he replied. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner: "Do you always run carrying clothes under your arm?" "Oh, yes" Lover answered. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and go home!"

3rd runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" "Nope..just when it's raining."

[QuadEEEFFF]

Nice share bro warbird

[SBMEDSUP]

Pls share more jokes.

[Steventan]

Originally Posted by warbird

The Naked Marathon Runner

A woman was having an affair. One rainy day she was in bed with her Lover when she heard her husband's car pull into the driveway.

Woman: "OMG - Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window". Lover: It"s raining out there!" Woman: "If my husband catches us, he"ll kill us!"

The lover jumps out of the window. As he runs down the street in rain, he discovered he had run right into the middle of the town"s marathon. He started running alongwith the others, 300 of them.

After a little while a small group of runners who had been watching him with some curiosity, jogged closer. "Do you always run in the nude?" one asked". "Oh yes!" he replied. "It feels so wonderfully free!"

Another runner: "Do you always run carrying clothes under your arm?" "Oh, yes" Lover answered. "That way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and go home!"

3rd runner cast his eyes a little lower and asked, "Do you always wear a condom when you run?" "Nope..just when it's raining."

Good logic ...
Thanks for the share

[Hurricane88]

*10 best jokes that need to be retold as 2020 draws to a close ...😃

1. The dumbest thing I ever bought was a 2020 planner.

2. 2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.

3. The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house & their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!

4. This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came to my house & told my dog.... We had a good laugh.

5. Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

6. Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?

7. I never thought the comment, “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6-foot pole” would become a global policy, but here we are!

8. I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

9. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to the Backyard. I’m getting tired of the Living Room.

10. Never in a million years could I have imagined I would go up to a bank teller with a mask on and ask for money.

[Hurricane88]

*The Buttocks*
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[dyelook]

laughter bumps...

[SBMEDSUP]

Pls share more jokes.

[Steventan]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

*The Buttocks*
A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the man's new face.
He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was overcome with emotion at her sacrifice.
He said, 'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?'
'My darling,' she replied, 'I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.


🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I love this post. Thanks

[Hurricane88]

SPEED

A Chinese man came to Coimbatore, Tamil Naadu, India. He took a taxi at the airport.

On his way by seeing a bus he told the taxi driver that in Coimbatore buses run very slow. In China buses run very fast.

After sometime, he came near a railway bridge and saw a train passing through the bridge. Then the Chinese told the driver that the trains also run very slow here. In China trains run very fast.

Throughout the journey he told the driver like this disparaging Coimbatore. However, the taxi driver kept mum throughout the journey.

When the Chinese reached his destination, he asked the driver what is the meter reading and taxi fare thereon.

The driver replied it is Rs.5000/-

The Chinese shocked by hearing the taxi fare. He told, are you kidding, in your country buses run slow, trains run slow, everything is slow. How the meter alone run fast.

To this the driver replied calmly.

*SIR, THE METER IS MADE IN CHINA*.

[Hurricane88]

[mickeythemouse]

Nice thread. Keep it up

[malaysiapig]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

SPEED

A Chinese man came to Coimbatore, Tamil Naadu, India. He took a taxi at the airport.

To this the driver replied calmly.

*SIR, THE METER IS MADE IN CHINA*.

Thanks for the joke

[Sixth]

Nice share bro

[Hurricane88]

To Hell with Lockdown !!
After the announcement, I am sorry but this Christmas there is no way that I am not seeing family and friends. You can do what you like, but I will be seeing them.
So, on Christmas Day, the following family will be at the table......
Auntie Stella & Uncle Jameson, with cousin Bailey, Malibu & Smirnoff, & the twins Gin & Tonic,
Scottish cousins Johnny Walker and Glen Moray, & from across the pond, bringing some old fashioned southern comfort with them my old cousins, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam,
My French mate Remy Martin & his friend Pernod, my Spanish mate Jose Cuevro & his cousin Martini, & Bianco, & her daughter tequila my Greek friends Ouzo & Sambuca,
My friends Brandy, Fosters, Snowball & mickey slim,
My Neighbours Captain Morgan & the Grants, the Bells, & the Cointreau's, & the Henneseys.

Merry Christmas , one and all 💞🎄🎄🍸🥂🥳🥳