Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread] - Page 760

Hurricane88 · #**11386** 14-12-2019, 10:31 AM

Saturday fever jokes...

horizonferry · #**11387** 15-12-2019, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Saturday fever jokes...

Verey funny joke and thank you.

harbourbay · #**11388** 15-12-2019, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Saturday fever jokes...

]

Not sure when did Santa cum twice. Funny tks.

Republicunt · #**11389** 15-12-2019, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Hahahaha so funney, thanks bro

shiyihai · #**11390** 15-12-2019, 10:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Thanks for sharing nice jokes bro

Hurricane88 · #**11391** 18-12-2019, 11:21 AM

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?"

The drunk replied,
_*" Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina ! "*_

Hurricane88 · #**11392** 18-12-2019, 05:03 PM

For poker players:

Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in. The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.

Dolly takes off her top and says, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please the angels to be able to see them every day, for eternity."

The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question.

The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, shakes it up, and gargles. Then, she spits into a toilet and pulls the lever.

The Angel says, "OK, your Majesty, you may go in."

Dolly is outraged and asks, "What was that all about? I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She spits into a commode and she gets in! Would you explain that to me?"

"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are!

Halm79 · #**11393** 18-12-2019, 06:31 PM

Boss: "How good are you at PowerPoint?"
Me: "I Excel at it."
Boss: "Was that a Microsoft Office pun?"
Me: "Word"

+++++++++++++

According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person’s aura changes to cyan before they die.

Cyan-aura.

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I've been accused of plagiarism
Their words, not mine

+++++++++++++

SmokingCigars · #**11394** 18-12-2019, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

A large woman wearing a sleeveless sun dress walked into a pub in England. She raised her right arm revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, a bleary-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!

The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them revealing the same hairy armpit and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?

Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!"

The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "I say, old chap, it's none of my business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her 'the ballerina' ?"

The drunk replied,
_*" Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina ! "*_

Nice share bro ROFL

Hurricane88 · #**11395** 20-12-2019, 07:34 AM

10-years old girl asks her mum: "Mummy, how was i born?"

The mother smiles a replies: "Once upon a time, me and your daddy had a wonderful time so we decided to plant a little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took very good care of it every single day. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, the seed turned into a beautiful and healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and then we got so high that we fucked without a condom."

Hurricane88 · #**11396** 20-12-2019, 07:36 AM

More jokes on TGIF.

saqq · #**11397** 20-12-2019, 03:15 PM

Read all these jokes cannot stop laughing.

amoz · #**11398** 20-12-2019, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

More jokes on TGIF.

]

Very nice butt shape. Thanks for joke.

sugi · #**11399** 20-12-2019, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

"Sorry, Dolly," says the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are!

Lidat also can. Really funny.

SalahNo11 · #**11400** 20-12-2019, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

10-years old girl asks her mum: "Mummy, how was i born?"

The mother smiles a replies: "Once upon a time, me and your daddy had a wonderful time so we decided to plant a little seed. Daddy put it in the earth and I took very good care of it every single day. After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, the seed turned into a beautiful and healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and then we got so high that we fucked without a condom."

Wahahaa I was expecting something else