Jokes for Relaxing.. [new thread]

[penanglucksa]

Thanks for all the jokes

[hornyhubby]

A good change to read this thread on a sunday morning.

Thank u to all who contributed.

This one brought me to tears :

Men are like laxatives, they irritate the shit out of you.

.....contributed by Bro bigbirdbird.......

[devilchan78]

Originally Posted by hornyhubby

.....contributed by Bro bigbirdbird.......

Kudos for his effort

[bigbirdbird]

Originally Posted by hornyhubby

Men are like laxatives, they irritate the shit out of you.

.....contributed by Bro bigbirdbird.......

Originally Posted by devilchan78

Kudos for his effort

Many Thanks For Your Compliments Bro hornyhubby And Bro devilchan78

Will Try To Post More If Got More Time

[robofish]

Good jokes by birdie thanks

[vampangel]

thanks for the laughter
more please

[bigbirdbird]

Sexy guy

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an afterward cocktail with her girlfriends when an exceptionally tall, handsome, extremely sexy young man entered.

He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes away from him. The young man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her.

Before she could offer her apologies for being so rude for staring, the young sexy man said to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do for $100, no matter how kinky, on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the woman asked what the condition was. The young man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, withdrew from her purse and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which she pressed into the young man's hand along with her address.

She looked deeply into his eyes and slowly, meaningfully said: "Clean my house"

[bigbirdbird]

A Medical Question

An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together.

After the examination, the doctor then said to the man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

"In fact, I do," said the man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I am usually cold and chilly."

"This is very interesting," replied the doctor. "Let me do some research and get back to you." After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions nor concerns. The doctor than asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you and cold and chilly after the second time.... "Do you know why?"

"Oh that old buzzard!" she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December."

[bigbirdbird]

Once upon a time there was a young redneck by the name of Jack.

Jack lived and worked on a farm with the farmer, the farmer's wife and their daughter Mabel.

One fine day as Jack was attending to his daily chores he saw Mabel bending over to milk the cow.

He felt himself become aroused for the first time and, shocked, ran to find the farmer to explain this strange phenomena.

Upon finding the farmer he proceeded to drop his trousers and whip out his stiff trouser snake much to the horror of the farmer.

"Farmer, farmer," Jack cried, "what is happening to my penis?"

"Now settle down and put that thing away." said the farmer.

"Don't worry about it. It happens to all men."

"But I don't like it!" cried Jack.

"Well then," said the farmer, "next time it happens just go into the milk shed, get some cow shit and rub it on your dick. It'll go down quick smart, trust me."

The next day Jack was passing by the house when he looked in and saw the farmers wife having a shower. Feeling his member getting hard he rushed into the cow shed, dropped his pants and picked up two handfuls of shit. Just then Mabel walked into the shed.

"What are you doing Jack?" asked Mabel.

"Well," Jack replied,"I'm gonna rub this shit on my dick to make it go down."

"That would be a waste." Mabel said as she laid down on the ground and lifted her skirt. "Why don't you stick it up here?"

So he did. Both handfulls

[bigbirdbird]

One day a boy asks his dad, "What's the difference Between a pussy and a cunt?"

Dad thought for a minute and said "Come with me."

He took his son to his mother's bedroom, where She was sleeping nude.

"Son" he whispered, "see that brown soft furry patch? That is a pussy".

The boy asked, "May I touch it to see how soft and Furry it is?"

"No!" replied his father. "That might wake the cunt up".

[etsys]

Originally Posted by bigbirdbird

So he did. Both handfulls

Haven't laughed for a while

Nice one !!!!

[diputs1269]

Thanks to bigbirdbird for regularly contributing here.

[hornyhubby]

I have one which was told by a drinking kaki......

A zebra escaped from a zoo and landed in a farm. The zebra met a hen and asked.....

"What do you do for the farmer ? " and the hen promptly answered " Oh...I lay eggs for the farmer "

Then the zebra asked a cow the same thing and the cow said " I give milk to the farmer.

Meanwhile an irritated bull was staring at this kepochi zebra..When asked what the bull does, the bull.said to the zebra....." Take off your silly pyjamas and I will show you what I do !!! "

[WaterSerpent]

Originally Posted by robofish

Good jokes by birdie thanks

Yes i love it as well

[BMW69]

Thanks for all the jokes today