The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by tissue

She is not very in love with him..Just feel that he would be a good husband as he is a very 'homely' man..But the love is not there and she just wants to have a child..

Cheers / Tissue

Well..certain things...right or wrong can't be quantified...

JWNY

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by JWNY

Money..we men can earn back..efforts can be repeated...but TIME is too precious to waste

JWNY

Bo pian. Time precious, but also must spend. Only thing is to spend wisely....

For girls, its even worse. They lose their youth, even if money can earn back. For men, money can earn back, wrinkles add to character....

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by hose_lover

Totally agree.
There was this gal in my company which I actually likes, but too many thoughts came to my mind and I din make an effort to go after her.
5 years later, when i actually talked to her and realised she was married,
all of the sudden I felt a deep sense of loss in me. Dunno why.
But the feeling is a mix of remorse and regret.
It is as if all of the sudden, I wake up and came to realise something.
Why I din go after her?

So bos, take heart. If you have a alight feel for someone, go for it. And tried hard. Never mind the outcome. At least u tried and have no regrets.

Bro, I'm courting this girl that I like a lot. Sometimes, the experience is heart wrenching, but I keep telling myself that I must try until I know I did what I could.

She used to be attached with a guy for some years. I didn't really speak with her until recently. She is a nice girl, but some unexpected things happened. I wish everything could be perfect and there would be no need for her to feel sadness.

I may not be the best man in her life, but there is nothing to stop me from doing my best to make her feel like a Cinderella everyday. I used to be a laid back ... bum, until (like yourself) I realised that opportunity once gone is forever gone.

I thought about how to make the following anniversary day a memorable one. Something that I had never done before. Some friends said that she is not worth doing it for. But, if it is to bring smiles back to her face years later and to add this chapter of her life... an unforgettable romance, I don't mind because I fallen for this gal.

Like she said, life is too short to ponder. I wouldn't mind pondering for a few more sleepless nights. Just so that I may leave lovely, pleasant, memorable, flowery and sweet memories in her.

If God permit, let this silly mortal fulfill this little... wish. She may not like me one day, but let the love struck fool of yesterday, today and tomorrow do it... all just for a love so enchanting. To pray that she will never be sad and always be happy.

To all the bros out there, savor the moment with your loved ones like never before. Love is a dream hard won. Don't be angry when you don't mean it. Hold on to ur dearest like how the Lord unfolds the petals of a rose.

[soundworks]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

Like she said, life is too short to ponder. I wouldn't mind pondering for a few more sleepless nights. Just so that I may leave lovely, pleasant, memorable, flowery and sweet memories in her.

If God permit, let this silly mortal fulfill this little... wish. She may not like me one day, but let the love struck fool of yesterday, today and tomorrow do it... all just for a love so enchanting. To pray that she will never be sad and always be happy.

To all the bros out there, savor the moment with your loved ones like never before. Love is a dream hard won.

Well said,not only u touch ur girl's heart,mine too!!

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by suteerak1099

i believe it could get pretty tiring, but if, romance was fresh on each passing day, and accumulative on a monogamy relationship, i suppose the results should prove to be a bond that's not easily tested.

well, that afterall is just Simon Yam... what works for 1 may not work for every1 under the sun. we wont know till we try.

Its hard. But, if the world is all flat, no one would cherish/ value whatever love they had fought for.

Thanks to the bros who upped my points. I was quite distraught. I'm not a cynical man, but a fearful idealist that had grown stronger and less fearful. The light of the day and tomorrow all depends on how we mould our paths with our own hands.

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by soundworks

Well said,not only u touch ur girl's heart,mine too!!

She can't hear.... If all SBF guys can all shout in the background "Wo Men Zhi Chi Ni", while I tell her "I love you". Its a one way battle up the mountain, which I used to fear. But, it is the fear that she will shed another tear that shakes my heart... most.

"Jiu shi cheng jing yong you... chai hui kan jue dao ni de ai".

[Deztruct]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

She can't hear.... If all SBF guys can all shout in the background "Wo Men Zhi Chi Ni", while I tell her "I love you". Its a one way battle up the mountain, which I used to fear. But, it is the fear that she will shed another tear that shakes my heart... most.

"Jiu shi cheng jing yong you... chai hui kan jue dao ni de ai".

i really dunno wat to say...i am touched by ur feelings for her...sometimes there are no rite or wrong things in love...only things which u noe u hv to do even if its wrong..all i can do here is to give u my most sincere wishes n blessings..everythin always happen for a reason

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by Deztruct

i really dunno wat to say...i am touched by ur feelings for her...sometimes there are no rite or wrong things in love...only things which u noe u hv to do even if its wrong..all i can do here is to give u my most sincere wishes n blessings..everythin always happen for a reason

I know there may not be the most right thing. But, we live once. A life too short to spend pondering, but a life too short to force us to do and cherish more.

The last embrace felt like a hundred over beads of tears soaking my heart. An old line went like "Live like a fool today, so that you will not feel like a fool till the end of time."

I wish time can stop when I was still holding her hand. If the leaves of summer would stop falling... if the flakes of winter would not melt... if only the autumn orange would not turn grey... if only today is always the spring when I first touched her. My tears run like the streams of a river.

To know I'm near, only to be kept away by the door. Awaiting at the door drenched... not by rain... but the tears of heart so filled with grief and desire to be by her side. If she is to read how I felt. The autumn orange wouldn't grey... deep in me, at least.

To all, it is a day to cheer for there is a love somewhere for everyone... A love worth trying for. A love worth waiting. A love that never wanes.

Thanks for the consoling words everyone. I will be strong and stand firm.

[Five Stone]

Originally Posted by vesfreq

Thanks for the consoling words everyone. I will be strong and stand firm.

Life is about pursuing, it is thru this endless pursue for what we desire we derive our significance of being present, alive and involved. Chasing a dream or a shadow may it be, it is still the process and the willingness to go through it counts, though the fruits yield may be far from one desire but take comfort for at least you still know how to dream.

[dom01]

I chanced upon this thread. I find it extremely useful. A lot of useful advices.

Btw, side track a bit. It is true, christians wld never marry a buddhist?
I hv seen a no couples breakin up over this issue, most of them were on the verge of getting married.

Would you go for someone who has been with you thru thick n thin, but your love for her is not there anymore?

Or would you go for another, who happened to be there when you were down at one moment. But she blows hot n cold at times.

[Know_yr_role]

Originally Posted by dom01

I chanced upon this thread. I find it extremely useful. A lot of useful advices.

Btw, side track a bit. It is true, christians wld never marry a buddhist?
I hv seen a no couples breakin up over this issue, most of them were on the verge of getting married.

Would you go for someone who has been with you thru thick n thin, but your love for her is not there anymore?

Or would you go for another, who happened to be there when you were down at one moment. But she blows hot n cold at times.

religious topic are always difficult and very sensitive....jus to share some of my views from frz ard me who met with simliar probs

yes i ever know of couples who spilt up cos the guy doesnt wan to convert to the gal's believe. even after 4 yrs of courtship and hardship....they were always running away from this issue but time n time again it came back to haunt them....at last the guy gave up....cos he TOLD ME tat, loving someone not necessary means tat he must change to her religion. He thinks its not fair to judge love this way......He finally gave up on her despite he loves her so much and the wife to be, not even said a word to hold him back, to save the r/s..... well, tat says alot of her teachings? or whos fault is it?? he fault? her fault? the religion's? i really dun know too....

But one another hand. i have couples, male converting to muslim for the one he loves..and they are happily married for 2 yrs with a son on the way...so its really up to each everyone of u all.....to judge wat is TRUE love for U......

[JWNY]

Originally Posted by dom01

Would you go for someone who has been with you thru thick n thin, but your love for her is not there anymore?

There are many examples too other than religion. Some people require the blessing/approval of their parents.

Ultimately, the choice is the couples' but sadly at times, something has to give and many a times, the sacrifice is significant.

JWNY

[surfer888]

Originally Posted by dom01

I chanced upon this thread. I find it extremely useful. A lot of useful advices.

Btw, side track a bit. It is true, christians wld never marry a buddhist?
I hv seen a no couples breakin up over this issue, most of them were on the verge of getting married.

I'm a Christian who married a Buddhist. Never had problems with religion.

Originally Posted by dom01

Would you go for someone who has been with you thru thick n thin, but your love for her is not there anymore?

Yes, that's what I did... married my best friend rather than the one I love the most. Till today, don't know if it's wrong or right... bittersweet.

Originally Posted by dom01

Or would you go for another, who happened to be there when you were down at one moment. But she blows hot n cold at times.

Probably no. It would be terrible to live with someone like that. Could lead to a nervous breakdown.

[ua_24]

you know, when i was younger, i also thought of this theory and i went to find something about it, and i found this forum where they talked bout this as a theory called the cloud-nine theory, it's a psychology theory, but i can't remember anything bout it though..

[vesfreq]

Originally Posted by Five Stone

Life is about pursuing, it is thru this endless pursue for what we desire we derive our significance of being present, alive and involved. Chasing a dream or a shadow may it be, it is still the process and the willingness to go through it counts, though the fruits yield may be far from one desire but take comfort for at least you still know how to dream.

Chasing the shadow where she was. Only to find a tear of her's dried on the lovely crimson rose. Was she ever there waiting? The tear relayed the sorrow.

Behind me, the footsteps... taken too little too late. This girl smiled at me waiting quietly by the streams, days back.

I promised to return, only to find this tear dried and her fragrance long gone. Left behind are the bitter sweet little memories of the moments when we were so close.

To part that time... never realise that it might be the last. Memories she left would bring silent grief and tears of remorse to me. To yearn to fulfil one more dream of just being with her again, as lovers. And relive it all, the memories of the lovely times together.

Clouds came and left all struck by the gloom of the place around them. But, I had never stopped dreaming about her... even calling out her name, when another was holding my hand. If only, the one I loved... heard how dearly I missed her and how hard it was to forget the brief moments we spent together.