Wife having Affairs

[dionysusex]

Originally Posted by BangBalls

yest i when to my bro place & waited outside his terrace house when they cum out cant see me but i cant see them. i gt tis feeling they r tog coz sat nit sure go chiong tog. juz as i expected i saw them coming out ard 3 plus. he walk my ex to the main road to let her take cab hm.

reali nw being to hate all this sluts n bitches n so call BROTHER... i hope they will get wat they deserved..

Bro BangBalls,

If I didn't read wrongly, you actually went to the house of your so-called "brother" and hid somewhere where you can see them but they cannot see you? And you waited till 3am?

It is sure beginning to sound like you are a stalker! I suggest for you to stop whatever you are doing now. Since the relationship has ended, no point hanging on. If this (ex)girlfriend of yours suddenly come and tell you that your "brother" (let's call him S henceforth) ill-treating her and she wanna come back to you, will you want her? Will you accept her and continue to love her?

To both you and bro eugenetan... (It is after all his thread)

If your answer is yes, how can you make sure that she won't betray you again? Can you really forgive and try to forget? Even if you manage to get the upper hand in your relationship from now on, is a manipulative relationship what you want in life? Or a loving and caring one?

If your answer is no, then you still go stalk them for what? Might as well spend time earn money to clear your debts. Take time to reflect on your judgement of characters for friends and wife and find the correct ones for your life.

From what you said, your friends think that S and your ex are right in fooling around behind your back even when you and your ex are still officially together. There is a serious issue here. Do you have a critical character flaw (physically abusive, druggie, etc) that makes them think she is better off without you? Or have you been hanging around the wrong bunch of people for the whole time?

It is okay to fall every now and then. After all, there's a chinese saying that translates into "Of every ten things in life, eight or nine is unsatisfactory" (ren shen bu ru yi, shi zhi ba jiu). The most important thing is to be able to fall down and get up and become stronger.

[john99]

Think it is easier when you are just B/F and G/F. If she had been playing around, the decision to cut her off and leave is easier. Just a couple of weeks/months of heartache.

But the situation becomes sticky when you are already married and have HDB, joint assets, insurance policies, in-laws etc to consider.

You cannot just divorce , there are conditions attached to divorces like custody of children, visiting rights, maintenance. Even then it is a drawn out process taking months and sometimes years for the union to be officially certified to be separated.

So if you are not going for the long haul, why marry, you can have all the sex you want without all these problems.

[SassySammy]

im sure u still love her, since u cant bring yrself to make a clean break? it's easy to forgive, but hard to forget...in the future, will the loss of trust cause a huge strain on the relationship..? when she says she's out wif her gal frens, will u suspect if she's out wif some ah beng again.

i guess it's hard to forget, almost impossible.. especially after digesting all the explicit details in her diary. the damage created is too huge. if im u and my bf has 4 affairs outside, i will go berserk, be it any gal, let alone my best gal fren. i respect u alot tt u did not go beyond scolding her. shows tt u're still rational n still love her lots.

it's sad to read yr previous threads on how u take gr8 effort to spice up marriage life, and yet things take a total wrong turn.
unless u lose part of yr memory, i dont think the relationship will ever be the same anymore.

Will she be patient enough to give u reassurance and total transparency for the rest of the marriage life.. if yes, then maybe things can work out..

[BangBalls]

[QUOTE=dionysusex]Bro BangBalls,

If I didn't read wrongly, you actually went to the house of your so-called "brother" and hid somewhere where you can see them but they cannot see you? And you waited till 3am?

It is sure beginning to sound like you are a stalker! I suggest for you to stop whatever you are doing now. Since the relationship has ended, no point hanging on. If this (ex)girlfriend of yours suddenly come and tell you that your "brother" (let's call him S henceforth) ill-treating her and she wanna come back to you, will you want her? Will you accept her and continue to love her?

yes indeed i sound like a stalker but pls i dun wan it too... i juz wan to see for myself wtf r they reali up to. i did went ther but it was sunday afternoon ard 12plus n i waited till 3 plus.. hey cum on.. if u were me u tink is so easy to put dwn everything?? and with regards to ur question , i will accept my gf bk but i will f d guy nx time i see her.. fyi i nv mis-treat my gf at all., nv b4... if u were to b in my shoes u will noe hw it feels.. im a guy wif no 'gal' frends n i onli hang out wif my frends which r all guys.. for the past 1 yr i have been spending my time with sum1 no matter gd or bad nw suddenly everything is lost.. Honestly hw many ppl out there can take it???

[ee_jack]

Bro Eugene, take care of yourself as your head is filled with all the troubles your wife caused. Why toture yourself when your wife is enjoying banging others. To make matters worse, she might be banging outside, came back to you and tried reconcilled your love. Not worth it bro.

Go out and release yourself. Maybe you can try having other partner. Who knows, it might help......

[eugene8tan]

Originally Posted by ee_jack

Bro Eugene, take care of yourself as your head is filled with all the troubles your wife caused. Why toture yourself when your wife is enjoying banging others. To make matters worse, she might be banging outside, came back to you and tried reconcilled your love. Not worth it bro.

Go out and release yourself. Maybe you can try having other partner. Who knows, it might help......

Thanks bro....Maybe you are right. If I can get another partner, maybe I can forget my slutty wife. Why dint I think of that???

To all bros, is this solution worthwhile???

[vfv_slr]

Hi Brothers,

You guys were talking about wife having affair, I meant real affair, but will you see in different light if she is having cyber-affair? see below a cut/paste interview and share your thoughts.

To me, it is still considered having an affair, as it is just waiting to become real one day.

You are about to read the actual confession of a married person who has
committed adultery by using the Internet to cheat on their spouse.

After you read this confession we will inform you on how you can see if
your lover has been using the Internet to cheat on you.

Carolyn M., 33 of Lancaster, CA, is a married stay-at-home mom, who
uses the Internet to have online cybersex affairs.

Interviewer: Why did you start using the Internet to cheat on your
husband?

Carolyn: Because the Internet makes it so easy to cheat. I really love
my husband, but the temptation of the Internet is so overbearing that I
just can't help myself. I'm addicted.

Interviewer: Can you define "cybersex" for us?

Carolyn: Using a computer, a keyboard, and your imagination to have sex
with someone that you can't see, touch, or smell. It can be very
exciting and fulfilling, or it can be boring and annoying. But I love it.

Interviewer: Do you feel that engaging in cybersex is the same as
cheating on your husband?

Carolyn: Yes, I do believe that I'm committing adultery every time I
connect to the Net and have cybersex with someone. I don't ever feel
guilty however because it's not really happening, it's fake, but yet I
still feel like I'm really having sex with someone new and fun. It's very
intimate and I believe that I'll continue having cybersex for as long as
I can.

Interviewer: How do you meet your cybersex partners?

Carolyn: Usually message boards, or I just enter chat rooms that I find
through various search engines. Honestly, it's the easiest thing to do.
Sometimes I find myself having cybersex with someone within 3 minutes
of connecting to the Net. It's crazy.

Interviewer: How often and when do you have cybersex?

Carolyn: Honestly, whenever my husband isn't paying attention.
Sometimes I actually participate in cybersex when my husband is in the same
room that I'm in. He'll be watching something on TV and I'll be in
cyberspace having a threesome with two guys that I just met. It's funny how he
has no clue as to what I'm doing. But I mainly do it when my husband is
at work, or when he goes to bed. I tend to stay up really late at night
because that's when the chat rooms get very hot if you know what I
mean.

Interviewer: What excuses do you give your husband so you can go online
and have cybersex?

Carolyn: I just tell him that I'm bored and going online to look at
clothes, or to check the weather, or to see what movies are coming out
soon. Or I just tell him that I'm emailing some friends, or my mom. He has
no clue. It's kind of sad how clueless someone can be.

Interviewer: Do you ever plan on meeting your cybersex "partners" in
the real world?

Carolyn: Yes, I plan on this. Many of the men that I meet want to meet
me in person, and want to of course make love to me for real. I think
that one day I may be tempted to actually go out there and meet one of
these guys who I trust. Cybersex can be fun, but taking it to the next
level is inevitable. I really believe that 90% or more of the people who
participate in cybersex affairs will eventually have sex with someone
they met online in the real world.

Interviewer: Do any of your married girlfriends use the Internet to
cheat on their husbands?

Carolyn: That's funny that you ask because about one-third of all my
friends who are married have tried cybersex at least one time.


Interviewer: Did you know that there is a program out there that your
husband could secretly download onto your PC that would allow him to
read all of your emails, instant messages, chat room conversions and the
websites you visit? Basically, he would know everything that you do
online.

Carolyn: No, I didn't know that.

Interviewer: Does that scare you?

Carolyn: Yes, I don't want my husband to ever find out what I'm doing
online.

[mldue]

Originally Posted by BangBalls

yes indeed i sound like a stalker but pls i dun wan it too... i juz wan to see for myself wtf r they reali up to. i did went ther but it was sunday afternoon ard 12plus n i waited till 3 plus.. hey cum on.. if u were me u tink is so easy to put dwn everything?? and with regards to ur question , i will accept my gf bk but i will f d guy nx time i see her.. fyi i nv mis-treat my gf at all., nv b4... if u were to b in my shoes u will noe hw it feels.. im a guy wif no 'gal' frends n i onli hang out wif my frends which r all guys.. for the past 1 yr i have been spending my time with sum1 no matter gd or bad nw suddenly everything is lost.. Honestly hw many ppl out there can take it???

Bang,
I feel like this is a trip to my past. Just abt 3 years ago. I donno if you will forgot the hatred within soon but after all these while, I dun want to be reminded at all. It seems that brother betrayal is very real, no matter how unreal it may be to you. This joker actually calls me his brother, someone who really takes good care of him. And in return, I get his dick my my ex-bitch.

Maybe there's no way you can prevent the past, but as life goes on, you learn. I agree that you can't let your gf be too close to any guy out there. Let them know that it's not about disbelief or distrust, but about precaution. If the lady is so certain that nothing can happen, then you have to explain that you can't guarantee even, if the same happens to you. And that you would avoid for the same reason, if you are in the same situation.

Aniway, it's all in the past. Dun waste time wondering what, who or anything else went wrong. To live on, you have to move on. It sucked but I'm fine coming 3 years from that, you will be too.

[mldue]

Originally Posted by eugene8tan

Thanks bro....Maybe you are right. If I can get another partner, maybe I can forget my slutty wife. Why dint I think of that???

To all bros, is this solution worthwhile???

My advice is to settle your issues with your wife first, before you do anything else. It may be cruel but at least you dun let her have the chance to say that you are having an affair.

Give yourself all the time you need to sort how you feel. But settle it as soon as you know what you want for yourself.

Hi Bro eugene8tan,

Sorry I didn’t notice this thread earlier..

Please read what I have to write with a grain of salt and if I offended you, my deepest apologies. I don’t mean to do that, I mean to point out things you may have not considered. I may be too blunt and if I do, pls forgive me too.

There’s a lot of stuff I wish to say here as I too have experienced (to a much milder case) infidelity by my gf (now my wife) who slept with her colleague for 2 months but she actually admitted it when we talked about it. I blew my head off with her crying hers off. After much shouting from my side and pleading from hers, I left the case as it is and guess what, she went back to bang the colleague again the very next week. I went mad (yeah not angry but go crazy) and actually found her at her colleague’s house. Same night I called my gangster taikor to make some ‘killings’ but was actually advised to stay calm and sort it out first ;p

Anyway that’s my part of the story. Wanna know the other part of the story? The other part was never that obvious, the other part was 2 years of neglect on my side… yup you heard that right, I wanted to build a good ground for my career and to make as much money as possible. I also go out with friends etc… until I neglect my gf… Along came this bastard colleague who is nice to her and since they work together they spend time together etc etc sweet talk bullshit and got into bed lor. Where was I? I was working or going out meeting businessmen, or friends… Yes, my gf very simple minded but a girl just wants to be loved. Read this: To be LOVED not BANGED. Having sex everyday does not mean she feel loved (she probably just feel tired and maybe satisfied on a sexual level, but definitely not loved, see my points below for further explanations). I’m sorry if I am been direct and please don’t be offended but I got a feeling there might be some problems between you and your wife some time already which you might not have detected.

Just ask yourselves these questions:-
(1) Do you neglect her by not doing things together with her (I don’t mean sex, sex is usually something the guy wanted)? I see you mentioned going out and playing mahjong etc. She may feel neglected and hence got tied with this fucking ah beng friend of yours.

(2) Is the traitorous fucking ah beng friend of yours the first of the series of betrayals your wife commited on you? If yes, your fucking friend is responsible for opening the door for your wife and for her to see the unlimited opportunities of other guys out there. She is naïve, simple minded but she wanted attention (perhaps?) and don’t know how to express it except through sex (see my 3rd point) since this is all she knows. And then its automatic from there, her high sex drive just drove her to explore more and get more and more while you were busy with other things. Think about it, brother Eugene,… have you been neglecting her?.. Also, I too strongly agree that you should tell your so called best ah beng friend’s wife about what happened. Your friend screwed your life big time, its time to screw his. Forget karma and all those ‘love your enemy’ belief in this case, just screw his fucking life!

(3) Have you been indulging your wife or even insisting your wife perform more and more daring sexual acts and is your wife young? Its not something I though of but something I derived from your previous post. If you did, and if you wife is a simple minded young girl easily influenced, would it be possible that she feel that having sex with others are just everyday normal event since her husband seem to accept or even wanted above moderate sex acts? Do you give her the impression that you might forgive her (seeing you seem to like other people looking at her sexy body anyway) if you actually perform adultery?

(4) Have you given your wife the impression that she is a ‘trophy wife’? A girl’s feelings is simple, she just wanted what she wanted and that’s love from her husband. Having her husband treat her (asking her not to wear bra, showing her off to his friends makes her feel that you wanted her for your ego, sex and nothing else. If so, she will feel even more useless and less important which again fuel her needs as stated in point 3 above.

If you feel the above points are not justified, then look below at the other side of the view (your side I mean, don’t worry, not more cannonshots at you. If you feel very angry at me at this point, I’m sorry but please I urge you to read on).

Before I go on with the opposing points, I’ll like to tell you about my wife. After what happened some years ago, we reciprocated coz I really do love my wife and I felt I have also wronged her too… I wronged her just like I described in point (1) and (4) above. So now you see why I brought out those points? It wasn’t so much as hitting at your ego as much as hitting back at my own ego (or those that I have years ago). My wife is a simple minded girl with much to learn abt the world. From my neglet, she sought refuge in the most nearby available source and she thought she could trust the fucking idiot of a colleague of hers. Fastforward to current event, my wife and I do things together; going walks in parks, going to gym, going out for dinner (even if I am busy with work I get out of office to have dinner before going back to work), going about doing stuff together (not just stuff I like but stuff she likes too, this is good because she used to hate doing stuff which only I like, now she will happily insist that I do those stuff and she joins me). She no longer feel neglected and no longer longed for outside attention… That’s my story by the way, not yours. For you, you have to seriously consider the following implication to what has just happened:

(a) How was your wife’s attitude towards sex and faithfulness before marriage or before you and her were bf/gf? She has found inhibition towards sex a strong thing and has been practicing full blown sex trites for a long time now. She feel no remorse or guilt which is why she can write those stuff in her diary. I dare say she enjoyed every bit of it. Now, lets ponder; if she now became repentant and you forgive her. What is your assurance that she won’t repeat her sexual exploits again? Will she someday say 4 -5 yeas down the road reminisces her wonderful sex adventures and asks herself “hey, that time was serious fun. I guess it won’t hurt maybe just do it say one or two times again for old times sake. This time I’ll be very discreet, no dumb diaries, no doing with his friends etc. He will never know. Not that I don’t love him just that what he doesn’t know wont hurt him. After all, I’m gonna stop after one or two times one night stands and that’s it for me, I’m satisfied. Back to obedient married life ” . Imagine that… I mean even I now have the itch to find prostitutes to bang (another story not to be discussed here). Now ask yourselve the next question in point (b):

(b) Will you ever EVER forget her numerous multitude several times over with at least 4 fuck buddies exploits in the future? Imagine when you start to have sex with her and then you remember how many raw cocks have went into her hole and cumming into her like some spittoon. Can you still have sex with her? I feel that way too back when my wife and I just reciprocated and I think you know that shitty feeling is just …shit… Everytime you introduce a guy friend to her, will you start to worry if she become more friendly to him? Will you get worried when you are working and she’s on leave or going somewhere you don’t know of? Will you ever EVER trust her?... This question can only be answered by you… It is very important as it will affect the relationship, your own faithfulness, her importance in your life as your partner etc…

(c) Will she EVER EVER be a good wife and mother, will she care for her kids or will her attitude spoil and affect your kids as well? This may not sound important now but when you guys do have kids and your kid happened to be a daughter and she grew up fucking tom, dick and harry… well you get the picture..

(d) Will what happened has long lasting effect: you haven’t get her to check whether she got AIDS or whatever sexual diseases she might got infected yet, have you?

The points above is for your to question whether the relationship should continue or not. This is up to you to consider as you know yourselves and your wife best.. What you have described may not be the entire story or the entire story is too long, complicated and dragged many years prior to what happened to today for you to describe…

But, I urge you to consider the points above before making you next step. BUT, a word of caution, you have to make your step fast. Your wife will get tired trying to win you back and in a weak moment, may just go back to your fucking ah beng friend. Word of advice, take a a few days off work, go somewhere and think deep but give yourselves a deadline for your next FINAL step.

I’m sorry bro Eugene, but this is what I think you should do. My 2 cents of advice… Hope it helps you… and good luck.

Originally Posted by eugene8tan

Thanks bro....Maybe you are right. If I can get another partner, maybe I can forget my slutty wife. Why dint I think of that???

To all bros, is this solution worthwhile???

Please don't do that, not only will that cloud your judgement on your current position, you might get entangled into another relationship you might regret later. True, your mind is clouded and nothing like another women's touch will ease it but its not worth it in the long term.

Originally Posted by Shadow Sin

bro, no offence to u but why is your wife so stupid. she had affair and she wrote it down on her diary? both of u r staying together, so there is no safe place to hide the dairy from u.

Maybe his wife working @ cadicolt hill aka TCS hehehe wife is a assistant director on varienty shows , U all know wat i mean .

cheers