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#1786
05-12-2012, 12:53 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
I am happier before marriage...
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#1787
05-12-2012, 02:48 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
Pfingo's interesting article provides food for thought and seemed to capture the essence of the difference in life stages between an average man and woman. My personal beliefs resonate with some of the points though not all. Nice article.
Through my personal relationships experiences and of my friends', I often questioned - what is the meaning of marriage? Quite obviously, its not hard to argue that immediately after the marriage vows, the couple goes through a new journey together and hope it last through their twilight years. When it fails, they divorced. And rightly so it seemed that the meaning of marriage is a validation/test of a couple's commitment to each other. To be more precise, a successful marriage is built upon the promises made and kept in the vows. So, what will motivate one to take on this "test"? To apply for HDB flat? Because we are at the right age? We dated long enough le, so must get married? Fair enough to say, if the couple do not even know our purpose and motivation of taking this test, it seemed likely that they may not be resilient enough to stick together against future challenges. Personally, I find it hard to justify for myself in taking the test if opportunity arises. I feel that marriage should only be undertaken in their twilight years to validate the couple's upheld commitments to each other for the last 25/30/40 or even 50 years. Will not such successful validations stories give us more to look forward to in love relationship? Promster
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#1788
05-12-2012, 09:49 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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Real love is oso unconditional, unselfish n does not calculate.. but always seeking the happiness n making all kinds of sacrifices for the good of the other party loved w/o any expectations of any kind of returns n still being happy abt it...tat to me is really TRUE LOVE !...it is oso abt giving more than receiving...Hv jus read thru' the bible on their passage on LOVE...n tis is what it has to say as some of you may hv read too...of the 3 things that would last forever; faith, hope n love..the greatest of these is LOVE  True love as they say is really never having to say you are sorry...but then in reality n true life, somehow obstacles get in our way n we find we can't marry the person we really love  ...n we hv to go for the next best...tat really is 'tragic'...but then there is little much we can we do abt tis...it is fated like wat most pple would say...sigh
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MIN to EXC > POWER...5 Up my points n I will return immediately Pls PM me if I haven return favor
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#1789
05-12-2012, 10:04 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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Agree agree... Bt it make logical sense too...if one party always being selfish and want this what that from the other, it's an imbalance & sure to breakdown eventually... But we're living in an imperfect society/world, so the real happy endings are few. Like u say...most go for next best..but,what if next best doesn't work...den how? Remain stuck in a loveless / unhappy relationship.?? Tats said, and that would be really unfair to the one u love and loves u back. Just my 2 cents worth 
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#1790
05-12-2012, 10:46 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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...agree wif you as well !True love is really idealistic...as you say, sis, it seldom works out...cos true love is 'disadvantageous' to the giver in the sense tat he/she is always giving n may never receive back in return...but it is oso said tat if it is true love, it never dies...it jus keeps on giving...it doesn't need any kind of returns...however, if ever it is returned or reciprocated, well, HURRAY !...it is a bonus !!...but if NOT, as you say again, the more logical thing happens...the r/s breaks up over time, n it is often sooner rather than later. and YES, if the next best doesn't work, well we all know wat will happen...we r stuck in a loveless n sexless marriage...jus as wat is happening to many bros everywhere...n tat oso explains the rising no of violence, divorces etc betw couples...and YES too, sis, u r rite... tis world is jus so unjust n unfair to us all...jus my humble opinion... Thank you, sis, for ur input n views
__________________
MIN to EXC > POWER...5 Up my points n I will return immediately Pls PM me if I haven return favor
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#1791
08-12-2012, 01:32 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
to my i feel true love is about sacrifise is bull crap.... i did so much sacrificial things that my wife totally take it for granted... i gave up my overseas studies which my parents can afford to earn my own money to study in singapore to be with her cause she don't want to want me to go overseas.... and many more now i feel i am like in another prison... wah angry... got back from business trip quarrel again... Sg girl just take things for granted.... not all but at least mine is... it is so serious now that i am starting to really regret being the good guy...
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#1792
08-12-2012, 07:34 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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But in ur case, dun despair..it is still not too late...there's still time for u to do something abt it, if u cannot turn her ard to urself, so long as u r not married yet. You urself can do a u-turn in ur r/s if u feel u need to...But after marriage, it is going to get very hard n complicated for u to do so, constant bickering n eventual divorce is going to cause much more heartaches for u....tat will be the time u will truly regret...my 4 cents worth of tots
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MIN to EXC > POWER...5 Up my points n I will return immediately Pls PM me if I haven return favor Last edited by Rickey; 08-12-2012 at 07:45 AM.
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#1793
08-12-2012, 09:18 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
Actually before marriage is fine after marriage all hell break lose.... one thing i learned is that dating and marriage is totally 2 different thing... after married They expect more crap out of you... anyway if i really get divorce i will just most likely not get married anymore... lol Love is just another thing earn money enjoy life is good enough for me.
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#1794
08-12-2012, 11:31 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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#1795
08-12-2012, 04:32 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
hehe yeah emotionally i am not sure about getting a big hurt... but financially i actually made some backup plan before we get married to avoid big complications for such senario. But I feel if really divorce also not so fast
. See how lah maybe just vending anger but really she should really wake up..... sigh....
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#1796
11-12-2012, 11:18 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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#1797
27-12-2012, 03:20 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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__________________
 pfingo is the power of IP-based technology brought to life. please do not up or down me ~ me want to be 69
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#1798
27-12-2012, 05:34 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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#1799
27-12-2012, 07:03 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
If you are unsure she/he not the one, don't marry for the sale of marry .. But if no choice due to other commitment like already applied for flats, loneliness .. Then marry but don't give birth to any children .. Don't make the children suffer .. Getting married to someone you don't truly love is not entirely a bad idea, when your husband/wife betray you after marriage, you will not be hurt that badly compared to betrayal from a person whom you give your 101% heart to..
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#1800
28-12-2012, 01:14 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?
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