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  #1591  
Old 28-06-2011, 08:29 PM
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randyboy73 randyboy73 is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

I have made so many mistakes in the past. I have been married for the last 11 years and if you count the years that i have been dating her, I think the number goes up to 14 years of being together.

The marriage has its ups and downs (more downs I am sure). I thought I loved her, but bros who know me in sbf will know that I am a regular cheongster. I used to tell myself that becos I am not getting it at home, its ok for me to cheong.

But the fact is that I wish I had a good marriage that was built on trust, love and affection. I want so much to be a good guy, but I am failing and have failed miserably. Even when I am out for paid sex, the feeling of satisfaction is very fleeting. Shiok, but when I walk out from the room, the satisfaction is replaced by emptiness. To prolong this feeling, I cheong regularly.. like a junkie..

1.5 years ago, I met a WL and while we hit it off well, she left for home and thruout the year, we smsed each other occasionally. This girl is pretty, like a chilli padi but beneath her friendly exterior, she was actually one of those cold princess, with a heart of ice.

She returned to SG early this year and surprisingly, we actually started to spend more time together... and I know while skeptics will smirk at my naeivty, but for the first time in my forty years, I find myself in love. Since starting into the relationship, I stopped all cheonging, stopped buayaing gals and those kinky shit that I used to partake. Heck, I cant even imagine myself making love to another girl anymore.

to bros that find themselves trapped in a bad relationship with someone you do not love, there is always hope. I dont have the ability to foretell how my second marriage will work out, but unlike the first, I really want this to work and I know my "ice princess" who is actually nice and warm sunshine gal and I will see this through.... at least this time, there is love (even from her end).
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  #1592  
Old 28-06-2011, 11:06 PM
Kosh Kosh is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JWNY View Post
You may have married

- a one night stand
- a fling
- a wife or girlfriend of a buddy / best friend
- childhood sweetheart
- your boss / colleague
- a cousin
- matchmaked
- etc, etc

.....but is that person the one you loved most?

who cares to share their thoughts? married / divorced / singles can participate.

JWNY
This is so true I have many livings examples around me..
Buddies married the women whom they don't love so much.. End up
Missing their ex Gf..
Only married for the sake it time settle dwn
There another joker who still loves his ex when ex
Cheat on him he can still remain
close friends w her another idiot in the making.then still say want choose btw his
Current Gf and ex..
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  #1593  
Old 29-06-2011, 12:25 AM
winfieldgold winfieldgold is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

after soo many years and this thread is still going strong. Definitely a tribute to the legend that is J-W-N-Y
but definitely a very topic that is close to the heart of most if not all man. So the next question is..on the day that u die, u will speak the truth and so what will then be ur answer to this question?
Something for all us men to think abt...
  #1594  
Old 29-06-2011, 02:28 AM
tattoofetish22 tattoofetish22 is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

很多人都说找个爱你比你爱他的人好过一点。

this is wat i've been hearing from my frenz as they all knw that my love life isn't as smooth sailing as theirs. but in fact if i were to listen to them i'm only bringing miseries to people who reali love me.

marriage is reali sacred to some ppl but if u tink rushing to marriage is juz to give a 交代 to ur family & her family then i tink it's best to tink twice.

as a woman whose love life sux ttm, i hope u guys & ladies here dun make mistake like many others out thr.

making a person suffer in tis kinda of miseries reali sux & it reali hurts alot to ladies. if u tink u cant give her any future pls dun drag her time. marrying a person u dun love or rather marrying a person who loves u more than u loves her is juz a form of guilt.对女人而言,岁月不留人.

*** juz my point of view & nt to offend anybody ***
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  #1595  
Old 29-06-2011, 06:27 AM
ch18 ch18 is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

[QUOTE=Ah he;6003368]“结婚未必辛福,单身未必孤独”。

Well said........
  #1596  
Old 29-06-2011, 10:51 AM
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WRX_STI WRX_STI is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

There is no true love bros. And chivalry is dead
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  #1597  
Old 29-06-2011, 04:22 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

被爱是幸福,爱人是痛苦
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  #1598  
Old 29-06-2011, 06:05 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

wow.. this is one super long thread.. don't think TS is still looking for answer but here's my 2 cents..

as many bros n sis here mentioned, they would prefer to be loved then love. however, that is a very selfish thought. if everyone prefer to be loved n refuse to reciprocate, how on earth would there ever be love in life?

also, i'm sure many of us has been through heart wrenching r/s. but r u sure u love tat person the most or were u just clinging on to the memories of someone who doesn't suit u?

no one can force u to get married n if u have made the decision to get married, u have to be prepared to take responsibility to make things work instead of looking at alternatives. be the results of the marriage be good or bad, just like other decisions u have made in ur life, u have to learn to face up to the consequences.

in my opinion, instead of dwelling in the "poor me" and "what if" nonconstructive thoughts, why don't we make the best out of each situation and live life to the fullest?
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  #1599  
Old 30-06-2011, 09:27 PM
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yinyang yinyang is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by AmericanExpress View Post
被爱是幸福,爱人是痛苦
Oi, CASH is KING la. No money, no honey... Sobering thought, but get real
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  #1600  
Old 30-06-2011, 09:34 PM
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kcyoo kcyoo is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by superman View Post
You can't married the one you love, but you can married the one that loves you.
I agree with this statement.
  #1601  
Old 02-07-2011, 01:23 AM
genetic83 genetic83 is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

First time ever posting..nv even wrote FR though I've tried quite a number of girls frm diff stables.. this topic just caught my attention.

I guess it does happen. Im not married or attached, but i guess i would nv have a chance to marry the person i love most, coz she got married... Might be too early to say, but its been more than a yr and at times i still do miss her alot..at moments, i would feel as though im completely over her, but then there can be times when i miss her alot..

N actually a question to bros here. would u all still keep in contact asin frens wid ur ex even if shes married? and its more troublesome for me coz i know she has 'problems' with her husband... so im not sure if i should remain frens wid her..im afraid it may cause both of us problems..

Any advice frm the bros out here?
  #1602  
Old 03-07-2011, 12:21 AM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by genetic83 View Post
N actually a question to bros here. would u all still keep in contact asin frens wid ur ex even if shes married? and its more troublesome for me coz i know she has 'problems' with her husband... so im not sure if i should remain frens wid her..im afraid it may cause both of us problems..

Any advice frm the bros out here?
it takes 2 hand to clap so if she wants to remain "friends"....what's the problem?
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  #1603  
Old 03-07-2011, 04:04 PM
frivolous_ami frivolous_ami is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Posted on this thread yrs ago under another nick. Surprised to see it resurface again. When i first posted on this thread those many yrs ago, i was single, jaded and totally disillusioned with relationship. Used to have a gal whom i really fancy.

Years later, this gal got married to her ex school mate. And i still remain jaded. Being good chivalrous and devoted may mean you are good but it is no sign that you will get to marry the gal.

Having lived up to this age. Nothing is more impt than living happily and being healthy with some money to burn. Other things like bgr and marriage is just not for me. Its also not difficult to know that most gals are self serving.

How many would come and lift your hand up when you ve fallen so? Aside from parents, a gf who is willing to sacrifice and do things for relationship is a rarity. When i told this gal i may ve issues sustaining her weekly restaurant craving, she told me to find more part time. What is true love....
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  #1604  
Old 03-07-2011, 06:01 PM
MoralEpitome MoralEpitome is offline
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Quote:
Originally Posted by frivolous_ami View Post
Posted on this thread yrs ago under another nick. Surprised to see it resurface again. When i first posted on this thread those many yrs ago, i was single, jaded and totally disillusioned with relationship. Used to have a gal whom i really fancy.

Years later, this gal got married to her ex school mate. And i still remain jaded. Being good chivalrous and devoted may mean you are good but it is no sign that you will get to marry the gal.

Having lived up to this age. Nothing is more impt than living happily and being healthy with some money to burn. Other things like bgr and marriage is just not for me. Its also not difficult to know that most gals are self serving.

How many would come and lift your hand up when you ve fallen so? Aside from parents, a gf who is willing to sacrifice and do things for relationship is a rarity. When i told this gal i may ve issues sustaining her weekly restaurant craving, she told me to find more part time. What is true love....
I kinda agree, nowadays many girls are very practical and materialistic....so take your time to find a true love....maybe don't go for the chio ones la...i find all the chio ones really hard to satisfy and you end up stressing yourself and living beyond your means...sometimes i think of finding a prc mm....those more innocent type but don't know how to tell my relatives if i know her from ktv....
  #1605  
Old 03-07-2011, 09:14 PM
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Re: The one you marry, is not the one you loved most?

Very interesting topic, one which can be extremely philosophical...

and i thought to myself if i should post my 2 cents worth in this thread for a while.

And I think to myself, that what if one day you woke up to that person sleeping next to you and realise just how much you have drifted apart.
Sleeping on the same bed, yet you might as well have been 2 worlds apart, living in separate lives...

What then, do you do having been like this for a while?
What if, you realise just how much time has passed us by,
so much of our youth gone by, both you and her...
only to realise that you were never meant to be together in the first place?

And all these thoughts run by your morning head,
looking at that wedding band on your finger,
of those vows you once took some time ago,
filled with hope, fear, uncertainties but the courage to sign that paper...

What now?
What will you do?
Do you look at the responsibilities and live the rest of your life like that?
Knowing that you once had the opportunity to search for happiness
yet, you passed it all away...
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