Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[chen_zhen]

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

bros can give me some advices and pointers? feeling damn vexed...

My advise to u is to be a bad son-in-law. I hv been a bad son-in-law for a couple of years, and hv save me alot of trouble.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by chen_zhen

Thks bro for earlier advice. In fact my wife already got her PR, and she is the sponsor for my mother-in-law, but ICA still did not approve the LSTVP application. I thk ICA want to retrict foreigners from staying in singapore.

normally, ICA will approve if you bring yr mum-in-law in for just 90 days. yr wife got her PR because of you, so its not because of her own ability. bring yr mum-in-law in for 90 days n i m sure she will be able to come help you

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by chen_zhen

My advise to u is to be a bad son-in-law. I hv been a bad son-in-law for a couple of years, and hv save me alot of trouble.

Dun always think of the beautiful VB when you married a VB...always learn their culture and be prepared for the long haul...after been there for more than 2 years...I still dun quite totally understand their societies...its really complex...both open and closed in some manners...

[Rejuvenation]

Originally Posted by SingViet

the most impt person is yr wife. if she loves you, she will know life in singapore is not easy. hv gold or not is not impt. but if she wants face, she will pressure you to buy gold for her. n even if she has baby, she may abandon you n baby for another man who can buy her more gold. you know yr wife the best. communicate with her n make her understand. don't dream the immpossible in reality singapore.

bro... she does not bother about having gold or not... its her stupid old man asking y never wear the fcking gold back home... damn boliao... it makes no sense to wear so much gold back to a village where almost everyone is poor right? can't wait to get rob...wth...

[Rejuvenation]

Originally Posted by chen_zhen

My advise to u is to be a bad son-in-law. I hv been a bad son-in-law for a couple of years, and hv save me alot of trouble.

now i feeling damn dulan... i will be going over to viet next week...i don know wat my face will be like when i see the stupid old man... feel like giving him a punch man... don know wat type of mentality they have...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

now i feeling damn dulan... i will be going over to viet next week...i don know wat my face will be like when i see the stupid old man... feel like giving him a punch man... don know wat type of mentality they have...

Simple la....just buy one to two bottles cheap whiskey and big cigars...then bring along and said very expensive one...give your in-laws some pocket money around 1 to 2 million VND...take pictures of alot of gold...if can take from goldsmith shop...show them when you are there...bring one gold chain with pendant...one bangle and one pair of ear ring for your wife to wear...sure ok liao...

[Rejuvenation]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Simple la....just buy one to two bottles cheap whiskey and big cigars...then bring along and said very expensive one...give your in-laws some pocket money around 1 to 2 million VND...take pictures of alot of gold...if can take from goldsmith shop...show them when you are there...bring one gold chain with pendant...one bangle and one pair of ear ring for your wife to wear...sure ok liao...

bro...i haven't reach there already pass my wife 3 million VND to give him liao...and the old sucker still say give so little... knn... i think he wan 3 million SGD...don know wat the fck he need so much money in the village for wat... 3 million VND to other bros maybe is peanuts but me only earn very little nia leh...damn greedy sia...

[papillon30]

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

Hi guys... i just got married with my viet wife recently and now i encounter some problems which i would like to hear some pointers from bros in here...

my wife just went back to vietnam to see her family in her village..she said she wan to wear the golds which were given to her from the marriage... i told her don wear la cos go back to village wearing so much gold dangerous mah... later people snatch the golds ok nvm...wat if the robber use knife to stab how? den she lan lan never wear to vietnam... Now when we talk thru the phone earlier on she say her father not happy why she never wear gold go back...saying that like that the neighbours see liao like no face like that..and her father even questioned her whether i really love her or not... if love her y never let her wear the gold back... scared she run away isit...wa lao eh...never let her wear gold means don love her? and now my wife is upset over this... i mean...wat the hell is this..? wat is it with wearing gold? wear gold liao got alot of face meh..? is it more important to have face or safety more important? and now the father is getting more and more money minded...keep on talking abt money...wtf...

bros can give me some advices and pointers? feeling damn vexed...

In my humble opinion, whatever happened, you should not get angry, and take it out on your wife. She is like a piece of cheese between 2 slices of bread. I believe she is more upset and under more pressure than you.

If your wife is from the countryside, give your parents-in-law about 2 million VND every month is more than enough; more if from bigger cities like HCMC
and Hanoi. Other than that, can also gives for Tet and birthdays.

In Vietnam, when you married your wife, you married her whole family. Life revolves around gold, property and $$$$$$$. And, with the need for face value, it's a deadly combination.

Just be fair, not angry, with yourself, your wife and your parents-in-law. And, you can have many years of blissful marriage life.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

my wife just went back to vietnam to see her family in her village..she said she wan to wear the golds which were given to her from the marriage...

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

alo alo...we discussed this before and mentioned that Vietnamese wants their face very important...

Originally Posted by SingViet

haha, i m glad that more bros are starting to get a feel of the viet culture. To the viets, gold is very impt. Got gold, got diamond means rich n all foreigners are deemed rich.

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

bro... she does not bother about having gold or not... its her stupid old man asking y never wear the fcking gold back home...

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

bro...i haven't reach there already pass my wife 3 million VND to give him liao...and the old sucker still say give so little..

Originally Posted by papillon30

Life revolves around gold, property and $$$$$$$. And, with the need for face value, it's a deadly combination.

It seems like you guys have such issue about gold, property, etc after marriage. Anyone already experience it before marriage?

I have been together with my galfriend for abour 4 years and I have not been bothered much on $ issue or face value issue. Probably only some daily expenses and rental in HCMC. The only big issue from her family is 'when will I maary their daughter'.

Maybe she shield all those $ issues for me... I am just wondering if I will face same issue as you guys after marriage...

[Rejuvenation]

Thanks to all bros for the inputs and advices, i never take it out on my wife cos i understand that she is stuck in the middle, she also understand my financial ability and always help me to explain to her father abt this...i just find it very difficult to let her family understand that i'm not some rich man who can afford everything in the world and that i'm just another nobody striving to make ends meet in a country which seems high class to other people in the world...

bro kangtao... i think being bf and gf is totally different from getting married...last time b4 we got married, the father say don need anything, no money also nvm...just trully love her daughter and take good care of her can liao... now get married liao den start asking for this and that liao...maybe thats y the family keep asking "when will u marry their daughter?"... so that when got married liao den they can officially take out their vietnam parang to chop ur head...now still shy to ask for things...cos scared chased away potential "gold mountain"...maybe u should clarify things properly with her 1st...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

bro kangtao... i think being bf and gf is totally different from getting married...last time b4 we got married, the father say don need anything, no money also nvm...just trully love her daughter and take good care of her can liao... now get married liao den start asking for this and that liao...maybe thats y the family keep asking "when will u marry their daughter?"... so that when got married liao den they can officially take out their vietnam parang to chop ur head...now still shy to ask for things...cos scared chased away potential "gold mountain"...maybe u should clarify things properly with her 1st...

So there is a great difference after marraige.

With the info and help from this thread, I will prepare my shield to block the parang attack. Get ready when the day come.

[Rejuvenation]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

So there is a great difference after marraige.

With the info and help from this thread, I will prepare my shield to block the parang attack. Get ready when the day come.

bro..maybe i more unlucky la...suay suay her family like that...maybe u more lucky... u can try to talk to them and clarify with wat they wan 1st...

but i think my wife is quite ok, very understanding...well... u can't get everything swee swee la...

[papillon30]

In Vietnam, it's the same pattern one, b'cos all cut from the same
piece of cloth. Bf and gf period is like the balloon floating in the air;
gave ATM card without the password. After marriage, in-laws(father,mother,brothers,sisters,uncles,aunt,co usin,niece,nephew.etc.)
have access to password, and you're the ATM machine. By the way,
not all are like that, but the majority are like that.

[Rejuvenation]

Originally Posted by papillon30

In Vietnam, it's the same pattern one, b'cos all cut from the same
piece of cloth. Bf and gf period is like the balloon floating in the air;
gave ATM card without the password. After marriage, in-laws(father,mother,brothers,sisters,uncles,aunt,co usin,niece,nephew.etc.)
have access to password, and you're the ATM machine. By the way,
not all are like that, but the majority are like that.

haha...ya lor...haiz...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Rejuvenation

bro...i haven't reach there already pass my wife 3 million VND to give him liao...and the old sucker still say give so little... knn... i think he wan 3 million SGD...don know wat the fck he need so much money in the village for wat... 3 million VND to other bros maybe is peanuts but me only earn very little nia leh...damn greedy sia...

You spoil market liao...3 mil VND is alot lor...never give them so much for visit...just sweet talk more...