Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[leecs]

I'm off to HCMC tomorrow morning. Be back on Monday. I'll take some pics for you guys to enjoy...

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by leecs

I'm off to HCMC tomorrow morning. Be back on Monday. I'll take some pics for you guys to enjoy...

good to share. But i am sure that most bros here are frequent visitors of HCMC.

[chanyboy]

Originally Posted by SingViet

...There are much too many foreigner guys who trust their vietnamese spouse way too much and choose to think overly positive about their vietnamese spouse. No, i am not saying you shouldn't trust them, but give them some time, a long period of time to prove their sincerity and faithfulness. ...

Originally Posted by Kualalumpur

...Most ladies I know have another boyfriend or two somewhere, and those guys are very hard to detect, even if you stay many years in VN. The women support each other and make perfect schedule and stories to see their boyfriends whilst the stupid husband believes they went out for shopping or work. It's very common. That's why most of my foreigner friends do not let their VN wives go out at any cost. Some people are cheated daily, lifelong.

...very jealous with their husband, only to hide THE boyfriend they choose. ...

Originally Posted by KangTuo

multiple sex partners?
Even normal viet?

Originally Posted by SingViet

Aiyoh. Lam Tinh, to the normal vietnamese, is like eating Com Tam. Nothing to shout about

Originally Posted by David_Villa

Do u wear any protection? Most of the viet gal hv mutiple sex partners!!!!

... after reading all these, what else can one say?.....perhaps, it's better to be single. More fun & freedom. No need to buy gold, diamond, money gift, 555, green bottles of medicated oil, etc., etc.

[leecs]

Originally Posted by SingViet

good to share. But i am sure that most bros here are frequent visitors of HCMC.

For the benefit of those minority who never been there before, they can have an idea of what HCMC looks like.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by chanyboy

... after reading all these, what else can one say?.....perhaps, it's better to be single. More fun & freedom. No need to buy gold, diamond, money gift, 555, green bottles of medicated oil, etc., etc.

hahaha...not that bad la...dun forget Singviet had 2 baxa...he is having a good life and enjoying himself...also heard others who had Vn baxa are oso having their blissful life...

[chanyboy]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

hahaha...not that bad la...dun forget Singviet had 2 baxa...he is having a good life and enjoying himself...also heard others who had Vn baxa are oso having their blissful life...

Thanks for the encouragement... SV is an exception, he has the means to do it; most of us are struggling commoners trying to 'marry' VN-commoners..

My Tien-Viet stays as Day1 so far, not reaching mid-day even...and seeing VLover uttering away I'm ashame of my progress...not to mentioned his pal's whom I knew too... (course, he'd stationed there before).

But indeed, Vn bx gives very nice feeling...and dedication if it hits off right...The PRC tends to be a bit tricky. The pinoys better with fun (singing/dancing is really their forte), the ceweks likely to be USD-bound (try reading the famous "Jakarta Undercover"...). Worst of the lot - SG ger, everything "cannot".

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by chanyboy

Thanks for the encouragement... SV is an exception, he has the means to do it; most of us are struggling commoners trying to 'marry' VN-commoners..

Aiyoh bro, i am no exception la. My money also don't come easy, got to work hard for it. And as for my ba-xa(s), they are also VN commoners, i didn't marry the minister's daughter hor

There are both good and bad gals in any country, just that you have to open up your eyes to search for them. Most bros got to know the vietnamese gals at bars, thus the probability of getting a good wife material gal from the bar is seriously not high. But once in a long while, there will be some one who will be lucky enuff to get one.

For brothers who hope to get a wife who can share your financial burden, then it may be better to marry a higher educated vietnamese lady. There are plentiful of them in HCMC. Stop looking in the bars as chances of finding such material from the bar is really low. With a degree or diploma, she will be able to find a job in Singapore next time. This will help you damm a lot. If not highly educated, at least a high school certificate and be able to speak reasonably standard of mandarin or english, at least can work as cashier at NTUC Fairprice supermarket

[cybron]

haiz.... the story match me ... i went hcmc 6 times to meet her and her family and we have been sms for past 18month.. we sms 5 times a day n 1 idd call now...

i also dont wat to do now..try to break with her early this year but patch back again n now we love even more...now she want to marry me!! how how??

haiz.. true real story...

Originally Posted by vtec123

thanks, bro SingViet.. my encountered continues.. hope bros can UP me...

.....with this extra-odinaary love encounter, ( the best is yet to be, followed by downs..)

infact, the words i always came across,
"absence make a heart grow fonder" best describe my feelings.

to date, i have never been separate so "far away" from my loves one,
most of my ex-gf were sgporean, even separate were one to two week of ICT trg no big deals.

for this viet gf, i have mix feelings, i went distance, to buy chat chat card, make daily calls, day, afternoon, and nites...w/o fail.

i cant believe myself, am i in love with her? i am still struggling ..am i dreaming?
how come i fall in love with a Viet WL (no offence to brothers who had VN gf/wife, apologized for being so skeptical)
all the questions come poping up....why, how, ..what..
i am in a dilemma..to be frank, i am touched when she left that day
i dont expect her to sms me on the day she left for VN
i could still recall vividly …recalling that early morning…
that was a monday morning. still in bed and out a sudden, my leg kena"cramp" and it send kinda "eletric-shock" to my body, for that my head to knock against my bedroom wall, i jump out of bed, and watch the clock 705am,so coincidently phone played "you got mail" ..
i grap my phone , and the sms was from her, it shows " joe, i am leaving, take care"
my heart pumps very fast, and i quickly dial her number worrying she shut her phone, coz the flight is 715am.
1st try …shit busy tone, die die must get thru. I was panicky,,,,
2nd attempt was successful, w/o any hesitation, i said loudly to her " i will miss you very much, I LOVE YOU". This is the first time I said the words “ I love you” to her…
she was touched, and she respond “我很感动” …my hearts melts…
<<was this the telepathetic path that I shared with her ?? first was the eletirc shock and then came the sms…somehow I felt that we were emotionally /virtually – attached to each other..>>

have been leading 3 good years of singlehood, I had never re-open my heart all these years, even though there are some girls(non-WL) that came across.
for this viet girl really touches my heart, she is the key to “re-open” my heart “心琐”.

Same Monday morning, 1030am….,my phone rings , number appearing +84xxxxxxxxxxx, it was her , I answered, she said “I have reach HCMC…I miss you in while the plane and was so cold”. My hearts melt further..
I told her, I miss you too…blah blah, we chatted for abt ten minutes before I come to senses, that I have a meeting coming up. I told her take care …


Ok back to the main…
Two days later, still trying to straighten my thoughts…
I finally have the courage to book the air tickets online on the 3rd day ….
Why I make the choice,
1) I miss her, find my true love…
2) Want see how her home condition
3) First trip to HCMC, make it as eye opener
4) Got long time ICT pal running business there, so as to explore the possibility to invest in his biz.

Yoyo..guys , its late, tmr gota work,,,
To be continue,…

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by cybron

haiz.... the story match me ... i went hcmc 6 times to meet her and her family and we have been sms for past 18month.. we sms 5 times a day n 1 idd call now...

i also dont wat to do now..try to break with her early this year but patch back again n now we love even more...now she want to marry me!! how how??

haiz.. true real story...

Dun know why you can't marry her...most important are you happy doing wat you are doing?...

[A*star]

Be happy and cherish the happy moment.
Never kow when a girl will turn her back on you...

just live by and be happy!and fuck till you happy!!!

[Buikia]

er bros,
im in the same dillemma, got to know a WL in the early 20s with a kid(2 yrs old) for a few months, visited her/family once in HCM and fallen in love(vice versa from the way i see it)

So here are the problems:
1)Have some bad debts in the family which can be easily cleared...but afraid of all the up coming debts for the family if i commit.(as with all VN ppl)
Heartbreaking to see her in this trade as with all bros who has fallen for these ladies-wanted to pay off debts for here but big head telling me it might be never ending...

2)Intends to bring the kid over if i commit.

3)Lady is too young and wondering if the mentality/feelings would change over time since im a good 10 years older...

So far, no one brought up the issue of ladies having a kid from a previous marriage and how to cope with this or the acceptance issue. My aging parents would probably puke blood knowing of this....Would appreciate any wise words from here....

[papillon30]

Originally Posted by Buikia

er bros,
im in the same dillemma, got to know a WL in the early 20s with a kid(2 yrs old) for a few months, visited her/family once in HCM and fallen in love(vice versa from the way i see it)

So here are the problems:
1)Have some bad debts in the family which can be easily cleared...but afraid of all the up coming debts for the family if i commit.(as with all VN ppl)
Heartbreaking to see her in this trade as with all bros who has fallen for these ladies-wanted to pay off debts for here but big head telling me it might be never ending...

2)Intends to bring the kid over if i commit.

3)Lady is too young and wondering if the mentality/feelings would change over time since im a good 10 years older...

So far, no one brought up the issue of ladies having a kid from a previous marriage and how to cope with this or the acceptance issue. My aging parents would probably puke blood knowing of this....Would appreciate any wise words from here....

Old wine in new bottle. Just take care of your aging parents. Forget about getting a WL( or ex-WL) as spouse - never-ending problems.

[NewandLost]

Originally Posted by Buikia

er bros,
im in the same dillemma, got to know a WL in the early 20s with a kid(2 yrs old) for a few months, visited her/family once in HCM and fallen in love(vice versa from the way i see it)

So here are the problems:
1)Have some bad debts in the family which can be easily cleared...but afraid of all the up coming debts for the family if i commit.(as with all VN ppl)
Heartbreaking to see her in this trade as with all bros who has fallen for these ladies-wanted to pay off debts for here but big head telling me it might be never ending...

2)Intends to bring the kid over if i commit.

3)Lady is too young and wondering if the mentality/feelings would change over time since im a good 10 years older...

So far, no one brought up the issue of ladies having a kid from a previous marriage and how to cope with this or the acceptance issue. My aging parents would probably puke blood knowing of this....Would appreciate any wise words from here....

objectively, seems like you are taking on a pile of problems for an uncertain return which you hope is love. braddah, i dont know the answer. would say these gals seem to think all things are a deal. she is getting a good deal. refinance her balance sheet, you finance the kid, her family (and perhaps extended family), get to live in sg better place. you are just a component of the package. er so maybe not really love you is still ok for her, only she knows. what do you get from this gal you cannot get from stable proven sg girl? i think local gal dont come with requirement to finance her family and some other man's kid. she may not love you but you know local sg gal loves you because only trading love for love even though she is not as stunning and sexual. which deal is better for you? which deal would a businessman do?

[Hanoi-Kid]

Hi Frens,

just got this and it seems to me,,, the gals are just fishing,,,so as long as the gal dont ask for money, its fine,,,but also have to really be careful with the gal one wants to spend the rest of the life with.

Also what would happen if the gal marrys and later divorce? Wont the guy have more to lose cos of the Women's charter etc?

And will the agency involved put the same gal on their list ? or will she be black listed?

The Electric New Paper, Singapore - The Electric New Paper News

'I DON'T' ON D-DAY
DUMPED, HE FELT DUPED
Clerk loses allowance after Viet bride backs out
By Crystal Chan

May 25, 2009


U-TURN: Mr Joseph Pereira (right) and Miss Yinh, who backed out of the marriage saying that she couldn't bear to leave her family. PICTURE: COURTESY OF VIETNAM BRIDE INTERNATIONAL


HE was all set to marry a Vietnamese girl who caught his eye during a matchmaking tour to Ho Chi Minh City early this month.


Mr Joseph Pereira, mid-30s, proposed, and Miss Yinh, 21, accepted. They had their wedding photos taken, with both of them dressed in traditional Vietnameseoutfits.


He even gave her an allowance of 4.9 million dong ($400) since she was about to be his wife.


Then, on15 May, a day before she was to fly off with him to Singapore to get married, she dumped him.


But not before spending most of the allowance that Mr Pereira had given her.


'I thought of making a police report there because I felt cheated but I just decided to let it go in the end,' said Mr Pereira.


He said he decided to approach a matchmaking agency to look for a foreign bride because he had difficulty finding a Singaporean one.


'Singaporean girls are very demanding. They want the five Cs and some of them are haughty,' said Mr Pereira, a clerk who earns about $1,500 a month.


So he approached Vietnam Brides International in Orchard Plaza, and paid $8,800 from his savings to go on a matchmaking tour to Ho Chi Minh City earlier this month.


When the 30 girls were presented to Mr Pereira, Miss Yinh said she was interested in him and he settled on her.


He recounted: 'I asked the girls: 'Who is interested in me?' and Yinh said she wanted to marry me.


'I settled on her. I'm a resolute person and I thought everything would be fine if she loved me.'


But he could not bring her back immediately as she did not have a passport.


It would be two weeks before Miss Yinh's passport was ready.


Last Wednesday , Mr Pereira flew to Ho Chi Minh City to take Miss Yinh back to Singapore.


He stayed with Miss Yinh's farmer parents.


Mr Pereira said: 'The agent there told me I should give her whatever Vietnamese currency I had, as I would have no need for the money later.'


But two days later , she told Mr Pereira she wanted to call off the wedding, saying she couldn't bear to leave her family.


Mr Pereira said: 'She said: 'Sorry, it's all my fault'. It was a decision she made and I respected it.'


Miss Yinh did not return the allowance he had given her. She said that she had already spent most of it.


Mr Pereira said: 'Since Yinh didn't love me, it was better that she told me earlier. It'd be too late if she said so after we got married.'


Fortunately for him, his trip to Vietnam was not wasted.


Mr Mark Lin, who runs Vietnam Brides International, flew to Ho Chih Minh city and helped arrange for another bride for Mr Pereira.


Replacement


Mr Pereira said the next day, he was introduced to Miss Thi Bach Hue, 20.


He said: 'Hue was interested in me. She just wanted to marry me and she didn't ask for money.


'I'm not choosy. It's better that the woman loves me instead of me pursuing a girl who isn't interested in me.'


Mr Pereira flew home with Miss Thi on Monday. They will get married next month.


Mr Lin said that Mr Pereira isn't his first client to be duped by a Vietnamese bride.


Another client was rejected by three Vietnamese girls, each backing out of the marriage after they received their personal allowances.


Mr Lin said: 'Men seek Vietnamese brides because they are homely, but there are a few who back out of marriages after prospective husbands give them money to spend.'


However, agents specialising in Vietnamese brides say cases where the girls call off the weddings are rare. It is usually the men who change their minds, they said.


Mr Janson Ong, owner of Life Partner Matchmaker, said that the men who back out usually did so because of money issues.

[NewandLost]

Pereira is better off that she change her mind. the guy seems practical.