|
|
|||||||
| Matters of the Heart. Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help. |
 |
|
|
Thread Tools |
05-02-2022, 03:41 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
I'm sorry if my story is too long. No more liaoz..
|
|
05-02-2022, 07:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
2. Dowry haven't give because customary wedding kanna postponed. But it's about "50 million" for Dowry (30 million given as they had some housing debt and originally wanted to give 20 million only), so I take it as giving 50 million. 4-Dian-Jin also about 50 million. Wedding banquet and other miscelleous preparations about 50 million too. Red packets from the wedding banquet will all be given to MIL. Last edited by CuteDragon79; 05-02-2022 at 07:40 PM.
|
|
05-02-2022, 08:21 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
Why are you so into marriage? You already been through 2 marriages. Why in such a hurry to go into a 3rd one? You find vietnam girl really is for the sake of marrying only? Why not take some time to know more girls and experience some difference first before deciding which to marry? Yes you are not young, but i dont think age should stop you. Knew a guy who got married just 3 years ago and he was 60 at that time (his vietnam wife was 35 then). I dont see any problem in that. Have you taken some time to ask yourself all the WHYs as to what you are doing now? Somemore you have your own flat. You're not marrying to buy a flat anymore. Have you reviewed what actually went wrong in your previous 2 marriages? Any lesson learnt from those? (not pinning divorce blame on you. But ya, i always believe "it takes 2 hands to clap")
|
|
05-02-2022, 09:21 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
[QUOTE=fallen11;21085646]Question for you. Sorry if i didnt pick out if you mentioned it before in your long story.
Hi Bro Fallen, I wasn't really expecting to get married so soon when I started meeting VBs. I mentioned that I chatted with more than 40 VBs (Although much much lesser than the senior bros here) and flew to Vietnam to meet 2 other VBs before I met my BX. My BX, being age 22 from the province, was considered getting "old" for marriage there. Her mindset is different from other VBs in the cities where the average age for marriage is about 27. Both she and her family also don't want to waste too much time on "waiting". She ever waited 1 year with a Korean BF and 2 years with another SG BF. They didn't fulfill their promise of marriage and my BX waited in vain. We both felt it's a good match for the both of us and therefore we proceeded. My MIL requested to register our marriage in Vietnam was because she wanted to see if I'm really sincere about marrying my BX. The seniors had already mentioned things like how pampered, how spolit, and how demanding our SG gals are especially in BGR and marriage. First ex-wife was all about me giving in to her till I gave up. Got to do most of the house-chores, peel prawns for her etc. Didn't consummate our marriage and therefore able to get annulment. No matter how much they earn from their income, I got to foot most, if not all of the bills. I didn't get a flat with my second ex-wife because she said even though she earned more than me, she expected me to pay 70% for the flat! Give her allowance and give her part of my yearly bonuses also will complain this and complain that. Pardon me this MOUNTAIN TORTOISE, all along I was "brought up" into the society believing in "fairness" and I was expecting 50% as my duty as a Husband especially in SG. Practically, she is "The Boss" in the marriage. Go overseas holiday also bring parents-in-law and stay together in 1 suite. The SG gals want at least or more than 50% authority in the family but the guy has to pay for most of the expenses, if not all. With her job vs my job, I Zzzz by 10pm daily by the time she returns home. Intimacy rate is like once a year. Either she said tired or have the mindset, "Don't think I can just want it as and when just because got give her $$$ etc) Definitely I CANNOT tolerate anymore in that marriage! So if I'm gonna "pay", then might as well make it 100% and I call the shots. I figured out a 1-income family can still be very blissful e.g 3-room flat, average income, take public transport (Also mentioned in earlier posts about happiness and satisfaction level by Bro SingViet and a few other Bros) and therefore went onto this path. Good points about VBs mentioned in earlier posts, can cook, can take care of family, let the man be the "Head" of the house etc. I lived to an age to finally know that having a VB housewife is much better than having a SG career woman. My BX cooks for me, hand-wash my clothes for me, iron my clothes for me and takes good care of me etc. I appreciate her a lot. Hope these answer your questions =)
|
|
05-02-2022, 10:09 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
[QUOTE=CuteDragon79;21085790]
Quote:
Have to warn you that marrying a foreign woman has a different set of problems and you have to prepare to meet these challenges. Not just marry like that and expect happy ending. Sorry i think you know by now that fairytales dont exist in real life. Not that i'm discouraging you to marry a foreigner. I would too. There are some things you should do or try before sealing the marriage. 1. Where would the both of you going to live after marriage? Here or vietnam? (rest of the questions assume she lives here) 2. Has she lived here before? Visited here how many times? 3. Does she has any friends / relatives here? 4. Have you tried putting her in a stressful uncertain scenario and see how she acts? Have you travelled with her to a new country before and see how she acts? I would recommend you to do that. Go 1-2 weeks to a country which both of you have never been before. Many of them can act differently, signalling 1 big red flag you have to watch out for. Its easy to stay calm and loving in stable daily life. For questions 1 - 3: Many marriages with foreign women tend to end up with the woman fleeing back to her country alone due to "homesickness". Its her life here which turned out not to be something she want and expect. Put yourself in her shoes. Imagine you live in another country, cant really speak their language well, can only get employment in hard & low income jobs, no friends, no family. Worse still as a housewife, everyday kept at home like a prisoner (think you can understand the feeling after going through lockdowns during covid). Its no surprise that many flee back to their hometown within a few years. How to live in another place without finding your own "life"? You can make efforts for her to find a new life here first before marrying. Everyone needs to somewhat have a own life. Marrying a wife is not the same as keeping a pet. The social environment here can also very harsh. Is she ready for that? Its really another world here compared to her hometown. Stressful, money minded, toxic people, etc. Chatted with 40 VBs doesnt count as anything. Only count the ones you met up with. out of the 40, 20 could be scams / call girls or worse not even female in real life. Another 10 could be chatting out of boredom. 5 more just wanting an easy life and not love.
|
|
06-02-2022, 10:02 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
 In Vietnam bf-gf r/s means sleep together with money helping gals to stay afloat... No wonder with her experience she can hire cars to pick you up in airport from Dong Thap...living in Long Xuyen is capital of Angiang province becos dun think Dong Thap hv any decent hotel... Usually a green Viet gal knew nuts about doing all these...may not even know how to travel to hcm...or dunno communicate Zalo video call... I wish you have a blissful marriage...
__________________
 Info threads are for field reports...if you want to chat post in tcss thread Please do not post when you PM somebody Please Do Not reply long post, always edit... may zap and remove post
|
|
06-02-2022, 10:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Bro Fallen,
I had mentioned both previous marriages were with SG ladies. Yes, in the past especially with those marriages, I admit I was marrying like that and expected happy endings. This time we both mutually felt its a good catch for the both of us and therefore chop and sign quickly and not let it slip away etc as quoted by Bro Hurricane in his post of Sept 2012. So I understood why things progressed "very fast" in the eyes and minds of onlookers. We will be living in SG after marriage. FYI, she has NEVER had a passport before, NEVER taken a plane before and NEVER visited any other countries before. She doesn't has any friends/relatives here. We didn't do anything with regards to your point 4. Yes I'm aware of the numerous stories/case-study of foreign wives fleeing back to their countries due to homesickness and abusive husbands etc. We both knew that she will be sort-of "alone" on foreign land and a whole different lifestyle. I have a few friends with Vietnamese Wives and I will ask my BX if she is alright to mix with them etc. I will tuition her for English and Mandarin to improve her communication with people. Actually the social environment, money-minded and toxic people in Vietnam might be even more harsh than in SG. Don't forget most of them are daily-paid for their income with no annual leave, no medical leave etc in a quest for survival. Singaporeans are mostly still very blessed and unappreciative of what they have. KNS, such as in Dec waited for 1 hour for vaccination also people wanna complain to Straits Times etc! We had planned to bring my MIL to SG for the 90-day stay (3 times 30 days) every year and we will fly to Vietnam about 3 to 4 times a year so that she will not feel "homesick". We will reduce the travelling plans in future when expecting baby. By the way for your 60 yo friend's case, I guess he is not keen to have a baby and that's why he got together with a 35 yo VB. It is risky for the health and body for that age for pregnancy. I hope I'm not being seen as biaised and offensive. Apologies in advance. Throughout your inputs, you have raised valid concerns, valid inputs, valid opinions and valid advice. I was already mentally prepared for most issues of what you had mentioned except question 4. Thank you Bro Fallen
|
|
06-02-2022, 10:50 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
Everyone has a past. I did not mention that my BX was like some innocent and pure goddess/saint etc. I was asking my BX if she mind about being my 3rd wife. My BX was asking me if I mind that she is NOT a virgin. According to her, most people would mind about it. Yes Bro Hurricane is spot on on why she has the experience to hire car to pick me up at the airport from Dong Thap. I chose the hotel myself that time. I was browsing through Hotels.com and couldn't really find any in Dong Thap and the one in Long Xuyen was the "nearest" to her house. LOL From my first post till now, I'm concerned about sharing what had happened and what I did on this forum. Also many thanks for your well-wishes Bro Hurricane! =)
|
|
06-02-2022, 11:22 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
Wonder the bridge between the 2 provinces building or not...will be interesting to see if going Long Xuyen from Can Tho will be faster now with the new Tien Giang - Can Tho highway opened...
__________________
Info threads are for field reports...if you want to chat post in tcss thread Please do not post when you PM somebody Please Do Not reply long post, always edit... may zap and remove post
|
|
06-02-2022, 11:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
Erm, to me, Long Xuyen is like a city due to more higher storey of buildings as compared to Lap Vo which maximum might be 3 storeys. Prior to that, I knew Long Xuyen is capital of An Giang. I had my bridal photos taken in An Giang and the bridal shop is in Long Xuyen. As a MOUNTAIN TORTOISE, it was there that I first-time tried JolliBee without knowing that SG already has JolliBee outlets for example at NEX which is quite near my house! Faintz!! About the expressway, I'm not too sure. But I know the Vietnamese Govt is building an expressway which can pass-by Dong Thap, estimated to be ready in 2025-2026. This will reduce my journey to Dong Thap from TSN airport from more than 4 hours to about just 2 hours. =)
|
|
06-02-2022, 12:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
Long Xuyen been the capital of Angiang cannot survive without the economy of Chau Doc about an hour journey...Chau Doc is where all the main trading business happening...also from Chau Doc can easily cross over to Cambodia... Before M C Donald descend to Vietnam, Jollibee already opened many outlets in Vietnam including provinces.... Most locals will choose ferry crossings from Dong Thap to LX...the other way is actually cutting thru Thoc Nhot, Can Tho to Long Xuyen...
__________________
Info threads are for field reports...if you want to chat post in tcss thread Please do not post when you PM somebody Please Do Not reply long post, always edit... may zap and remove post
|
|
06-02-2022, 12:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
|
|
06-02-2022, 12:40 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/V%C3...BB%91ng_Bridge
__________________
Info threads are for field reports...if you want to chat post in tcss thread Please do not post when you PM somebody Please Do Not reply long post, always edit... may zap and remove post
|
|
06-02-2022, 12:48 PM
|
||||
|
||||
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
|
|
06-02-2022, 01:51 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Quote:
 I can see you did a lot to prepare for this. But my feeling is its still too fast for it to happen. You need to discount these 2 years of covid away because you dont get to see her and experience what life beside her is like during these 2 years. Anyway, hope you get it right this time. Wish you all the best for your marriage.
|
| Advert Space Available |
|
|
| Bookmarks |
|
|
