Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[Hurricane88]

Let me post here stories recently which I sort of involved or advise others...

Disclaimer - the story may relate a certain person but no name mentioned and just for discussion sake as case studies.

Story 1

A Singaporean married a Viet gal and have a baby after 3 years of marriage. Now the girl already has PR approved. Recently due to disagreement with MIL the wife run away and stay with friends. The disagreement is always about money. Wife working earning 1.5k per month and need to send 1k back to her mother in Vietnam who build a house base on loan.

This guy cannot speak tieng viet and no way to talk to his MIL not to pressure his wife to send so much money. Also never really spent enough time to learn Viet culture and understand viet gals before marriage.

I had given some advice and not sure what else I can advise him more.

next story to be continue.

[pusielover]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

Let me post here stories recently which I sort of involved or advise others...

Disclaimer - the story may relate a certain person but no name mentioned and just for discussion sake as case studies.

Story 1

A Singaporean married a Viet gal and have a baby after 3 years of marriage. Now the girl already has PR approved. Recently due to disagreement with MIL the wife run away and stay with friends. The disagreement is always about money. Wife working earning 1.5k per month and need to send 1k back to her mother in Vietnam who build a house base on loan.

This guy cannot speak tieng viet and no way to talk to his MIL not to pressure his wife to send so much money. Also never really spent enough time to learn Viet culture and understand viet gals before marriage.

I had given some advice and not sure what else I can advise him more.

next story to be continue.

It's always difficult to give any advise given the fact that we only heard one side of the story and no chance at all to hear from his Việt Nam! Wife.
I always believed in 有理走篇天下無理寸步難行. Can analyse to his Wife, what if she is not married to a Singaporean n not earning so much, life still have a carry on in Việt Nam! as in her Việt Nam! Family still need to stay in old house. If they take care of their Việt Nam! Family n spend a fortune on them. In times where they are out of job, in financial crises, who is able to help them in return? In Singapore there are no job security. What will happen to their Sin family esp their child if that happen? Can their Việt Nam! Family help them back? I Guess the answer is obvious isn't it? She got to think of their child...
To be fair, the Việt Nam! Wife should give to her Việt Nam! Family earnings as though she is working in Việt Nam!, that's the standard of living in Việt Nam! Right? If she can earn let's say 5milliion working in Việt Nam!, so giving Việt Nam! Family 1.5 million is fair enough.

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

I had given some advice and not sure what else I can advise him more.

Most in Vietnam thinks including the gf, foreign guy has money, esp SG. Men ourselves have to be blame because we use money to impress, the ger and family.

From the day, bf n gf, bf will start giving gf small allowance, indirectly, family has extra cash to spend. Bring gf to restaurant, tour, drink coffee bean coffee, buy gift. When they committed as husband n wife, ger family will start to want this n that, n normally husband will give in if it is not expensive. Soon family will start to think of renovation, buying new bike n so on. Nothing wrong with family requesting money as they always think, their capable daughter is smart to marry a rich man.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by pusielover

I always believed in 有理走篇天下無理寸步難行. Can analyse to his Wife, what if she is not married to a Singaporean n not earning so much, life still have a carry on in Việt Nam! as in her Việt Nam! Family still need to stay in old house. If they take care of their Việt Nam! Family n spend a fortune on them. In times where they are out of job, in financial crises, who is able to help them in return? In Singapore there are no job security. What will happen to their Sin family esp their child if that happen? Can their Việt Nam! Family help them back? I Guess the answer is obvious isn't it? She got to think of their child...
To be fair, the Việt Nam! Wife should give to her Việt Nam! Family earnings as though she is working in Việt Nam!, that's the standard of living in Việt Nam! Right? If she can earn let's say 5milliion working in Việt Nam!, so giving Việt Nam! Family 1.5 million is fair enough.

too late to analyse with his wife...he needs to do this before marriage...

she is working so she sending her own money 1k to her mom...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by naemlo

Most in Vietnam thinks including the gf, foreign guy has money, esp SG. Men ourselves have to be blame because we use money to impress, the ger and family.

From the day, bf n gf, bf will start giving gf small allowance, indirectly, family has extra cash to spend. Bring gf to restaurant, tour, drink coffee bean coffee, buy gift. When they committed as husband n wife, ger family will start to want this n that, n normally husband will give in if it is not expensive. Soon family will start to think of renovation, buying new bike n so on. Nothing wrong with family requesting money as they always think, their capable daughter is smart to marry a rich man.

think what you mentioned is possible that the initial using money to impress...

now problem is his MIL borrowed loan to build house and daughter need to send money monthly for next many years...

wife quarrel with hubby mother and left the house...

[pusielover]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

think what you mentioned is possible that the initial using money to impress...

now problem is his MIL borrowed loan to build house and daughter need to send money monthly for next many years...

wife quarrel with hubby mother and left the house...

I could not agreed more... Many sillyporean guys are "monthly" rich not "savings"
rich. Little or no saving but enough to impressed going for makan, drinking, giving money to Việt Nam! Family given their standard of living compared to ours.
At one time, I used to be in that stage, can branja
gf or buy them ex gifts, giving an impression I got lots in my bank. but when it comes to large Amt I don't have lol.

[pusielover]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

think what you mentioned is possible that the initial using money to impress...

now problem is his MIL borrowed loan to build house and daughter need to send money monthly for next many years...

wife quarrel with hubby mother and left the house...

But then after married for 3 years, Wife should already know the financial status of her sin family! Imagine only giving 100$ instead of 1k, they could saved 900$ a month, don't say many years lar... Just 3 yrs would save 30k Liao! If after 3 years both hus/Wife no job... At least got 30k back up... NOW IF LOST JOB, DIE COCK STAND!
Yes house already make Liao, loan already loan Liao... But if let says now hus/Wife no job (or touch wood, both die) Việt Nam! Mil also lan lan right?
If for me after reasoning n fxxking my Wife I wont give!

[pusielover]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

think what you mentioned is possible that the initial using money to impress...

now problem is his MIL borrowed loan to build house and daughter need to send money monthly for next many years...

wife quarrel with hubby mother and left the house...

Left the house? Let's see how Long she could survive with her 200$ balance after giving 1k n 300$ to those blood suckers...Sorry I meant mil n cpf deduction ( spr needs to contribute right)
And if wants to become a FL Or find other man, forsaking her own bb n Sin family for her mother... What can we say more..

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by pusielover

But then after married for 3 years, Wife should already know the financial status of her sin family! Imagine only giving 100$ instead of 1k, they could saved 900$ a month, don't say many years lar... Just 3 yrs would save 30k Liao! If after 3 years both hus/Wife no job... At least got 30k back up... NOW IF LOST JOB, DIE COCK STAND!
Yes house already make Liao, loan already loan Liao... But if let says now hus/Wife no job (or touch wood, both die) Việt Nam! Mil also lan lan right?
If for me after reasoning n fxxking my Wife I wont give!

this is where we need to understand the Viet gal culture...

Viet gal can be angry with mother but will help even if unhappy...initially wife only send S$500 home monthly...her mother loan money build house..so now send home S$1,000 per month...

Viet gal will just go earn more money to help without thinking future...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by pusielover

Left the house? Let's see how Long she could survive with her 200$ balance after giving 1k n 300$ to those blood suckers...Sorry I meant mil n cpf deduction ( spr needs to contribute right)
And if wants to become a FL Or find other man, forsaking her own bb n Sin family for her mother... What can we say more..

she has PR can work any job...so how to coerce her to go home without giving much...any idea...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

she is working so she sending her own money 1k to her mom...

My take is that it is money she earned herself so its up to her to give.
Wife and mum got differences, its the husband/son duty to step in to resolve
Again, mum and wife always have quarrel on money issue but in the first place it should not the mum problem to due with her son household income.

I feel that the husband is not strong enough to handle the situation.

Recently, I got to know a family (wife is vnese). This vnese wife complain about her hubby not really providing much to her and family. She is working part time earning less than 1k and looking after their son. As usual she give a portion of her earning to her family in vn, if they come sillypore, its her duty to provide everything. Hubby no paying. Best of all, daily meal, when eat out, her hubby only pay $2.50 for her meal. She order anything more, she pay herself.

The guy is slowly causing a breakdown of the family

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

My take is that it is money she earned herself so its up to her to give.
Wife and mum got differences, its the husband/son duty to step in to resolve
Again, mum and wife always have quarrel on money issue but in the first place it should not the mum problem to due with her son household income.

I feel that the husband is not strong enough to handle the situation.

hubby sandwiched between mum and wife...tough to resolve amicably...

you have good advice to solve this...

[pusielover]

If hus mum is part of the household, it's not wrong for her to demand her dil to be responsible for the household expenses. If dil is not working, fair enough, but now she's working she can't simply don't pay her portion n donate most of her income to blood suckers. Meaning she's donating at the expenses of her mil/hus
Daughter has the reponsilities to take care of he own Mother but not at the mil expenses...

[damong777]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

My take is that it is money she earned herself so its up to her to give.
Wife and mum got differences, its the husband/son duty to step in to resolve
Again, mum and wife always have quarrel on money issue but in the first place it should not the mum problem to due with her son household income.

I feel that the husband is not strong enough to handle the situation.

Recently, I got to know a family (wife is vnese). This vnese wife complain about her hubby not really providing much to her and family. She is working part time earning less than 1k and looking after their son. As usual she give a portion of her earning to her family in vn, if they come sillypore, its her duty to provide everything. Hubby no paying. Best of all, daily meal, when eat out, her hubby only pay $2.50 for her meal. She order anything more, she pay herself.

The guy is slowly causing a breakdown of the family

Dun understand the guy...if not prepared to get married, better dun. If wife pr Liao, later divorce. Messy.

Dun understand their culture must dun involve in a relationship

[pusielover]

Originally Posted by damong777

Dun understand the guy...if not prepared to get married, better dun. If wife pr Liao, later divorce. Messy.

Dun understand their culture must dun involve in a relationship

Even understand their culture
Many other unforeseen problem arise in whoever or whatsoever we married lol! How to predict what will happen? Got to solve when it comes...No wonder many single sillyporean says they are not ready for marriage. In that case we will Nv be ready