Matters of the Heart.Has a Commercial Fuck turned into a torrid Love Affair which has turned your life upside down? Fear not. We have experts here who can help you through your roller coaster ride. Tell us your story and we'll do our best to help.
Every factors are inter-link and inter-related ...
Trust is Earn ... I doubt so is by Cultivating ...
Initially ... I only trust my partner about 50% ....
Having stay with her in Vietnam , know her circle of friends , family members, her village, her lifestyle and etc .. it's up to 70%
After marriage ... 85% ... Now with baby close to 100%
But then if I don't choose to trust her 100%, meaning trust level is not there .. so how to build up the relationship further.
Then if I don't trust her 100% ... how can I ask her to trust me 100% ???
So sometimes this is the problem with we men ... we want our partner to do ABC , but then when in turn the gal ask us to do ABC, we have tons of reasons to tell them why we do not do ... hmmm .. strange
Just by talking and thinking, we won't gain trust ...
I have a friend who marry a vietnam wife .. now he is quite poor thing .. before marry so good, now after marry , everyday also quarrel .. she see yahoo messenger got girls name, she quarrel with him .. delete the contacts in front of her also no use ... what he talk to her , she dun believe, she chose to believe what her friend told her .. and becasue of the difference, they quarrel again ... headache man ...
Sometimes I feel that vietnamese gal is a very strange creature ... They are strong outside but weak inside ... they want love but dun want to tell you ... They believe you but they want to test u .. they can KPKB you BUT you cannot KPKB them ...
Agreed that trust have to be earn.My wife will always tell me where she go,either eat outside with friends,go temple,go shopping or at home.I believe that certain degree of personal privacy have to be given to each other.
I do trust her when she told me she is with who and who but sometime i also 'test' her for fun and pretend that i want to hear the voice of her friend
I dont stop her when she say she want go clubbing overnight with her female friends.So far only 2 time only but she come and ask me why i never call or sms her like no care about her like that
wa lau,female very funny creature one,give them some freedom and let her go and she say i dont care about her like no call her and ask about her.
My wife always say,if i dont like can tell her so she wont go.Ai ya for me is i think everybody must have some personal freedom and life so i always dont stop her as i told her before about the limit she can go,once cross the limit is we FINISH
My wife is also a very emotional type & it become worst after giving birth, sometimes out of no where she can just cry for nothing.
Thats maybe 产后忧虑怔, better bring her go see a doctor. I'm not saying yur wife got mental problem but we cannot overlook this. It maybe worsen into something more serious if not cured in the early stage.
U can let her know more friends especially viet spouses so they chat with common topics.
Every factors are inter-link and inter-related ...
Trust is Earn ... I doubt so is by Cultivating ...
Initially ... I only trust my partner about 50% ....
Having stay with her in Vietnam , know her circle of friends , family members, her village, her lifestyle and etc .. it's up to 70%
After marriage ... 85% ... Now with baby close to 100%
But then if I don't choose to trust her 100%, meaning trust level is not there .. so how to build up the relationship further.
Then if I don't trust her 100% ... how can I ask her to trust me 100% ???
So sometimes this is the problem with we men ... we want our partner to do ABC , but then when in turn the gal ask us to do ABC, we have tons of reasons to tell them why we do not do ... hmmm .. strange
Just by talking and thinking, we won't gain trust ...
I have a friend who marry a vietnam wife .. now he is quite poor thing .. before marry so good, now after marry , everyday also quarrel .. she see yahoo messenger got girls name, she quarrel with him .. delete the contacts in front of her also no use ... what he talk to her , she dun believe, she chose to believe what her friend told her .. and becasue of the difference, they quarrel again ... headache man ...
Sometimes I feel that vietnamese gal is a very strange creature ... They are strong outside but weak inside ... they want love but dun want to tell you ... They believe you but they want to test u .. they can KPKB you BUT you cannot KPKB them ...
Troi Oi .. Troi Oi ..
Hi Bro SS,
Your post somehow agreed with me 'trust' need be to cultivate & take time to increase the 'trust' indicator depending of what scenerio that happened around U. My personal experience tell me even U 100% trust to your bx, however she will still hold back some & will never trust U 100%
I have know my wife since 2009 & I believe we have already know & understand each other inside out. The main issues now is my business travelling, her mind tend to run wild whenever i'm oversea, always thinking that I might find women & betray her behind her back so I'm just wondering why Viet wife ia always lacking confidence on their husband?Is it their rooted nature to suspect husband whenever you are not with her
Sorry bro to ask u this: has yur wife caught u "playing" outside? This may also contribute to the untrusting and with the post natal depression, it is made worst.
since the topic is now on trust,i would like to share an incident.That day i was suppose to meet my wife and her friend for dinner.As i was early,i went to nearby shopping mall to walk walk and cool down.suddenly i saw my wife infront so i was thinking of scare her so i walk faster.
when i was nearer,i saw her talking to a man and gesture on her handphone to him and i quickly walk behind her without her noticing.i climb up the escalator and go 2nd level to 'biao' on her from upstairs and see what she is doing.
she was talking to that man and after 3 minute,that man went off and her friend came out from the shop and they left.During dinner,i did not ask her anything cos i think i should give her own personal private c.
As long as dont cross my line,i am fine but once cross,example i saw her touch here touch there with that man that day,then bye bye for her
like what shysaint say,only u know your wife and i agreed that dont say u know your wife inside out cos everybody thinking change at different stage
So learn to know what strong point and weakness point that your wife have.
Hi Bro GQ,
Your story is one of the typical example of 100% trust. I think every one have their own definition of 'understanding' their bx, for me it simply her habit, preference, personality, temperamental & the most difficult parts to understand is her mindset, her mood change suddenly like our weather
Every factors are inter-link and inter-related ...
Trust is Earn ... I doubt so is by Cultivating ...
Initially ... I only trust my partner about 50% ....
Having stay with her in Vietnam , know her circle of friends , family members, her village, her lifestyle and etc .. it's up to 70%
After marriage ... 85% ... Now with baby close to 100%
But then if I don't choose to trust her 100%, meaning trust level is not there .. so how to build up the relationship further.
Then if I don't trust her 100% ... how can I ask her to trust me 100% ???
So sometimes this is the problem with we men ... we want our partner to do ABC , but then when in turn the gal ask us to do ABC, we have tons of reasons to tell them why we do not do ... hmmm .. strange
Just by talking and thinking, we won't gain trust ...
I have a friend who marry a vietnam wife .. now he is quite poor thing .. before marry so good, now after marry , everyday also quarrel .. she see yahoo messenger got girls name, she quarrel with him .. delete the contacts in front of her also no use ... what he talk to her , she dun believe, she chose to believe what her friend told her .. and becasue of the difference, they quarrel again ... headache man ...
Sometimes I feel that vietnamese gal is a very strange creature ... They are strong outside but weak inside ... they want love but dun want to tell you ... They believe you but they want to test u .. they can KPKB you BUT you cannot KPKB them ...
Troi Oi .. Troi Oi ..
Well said bro.
I agreed with u mot cham % especially the last part!
I believed have to trust yur life partner, doesnt have to be 100% but if no trust, why marry someone that we don't trust?
Any bro who married a Vietnamese wife, if you left small amounts of money in your house, will your money still be there or will your wife take it? When you ask her if she had seen your money, she answered that she needed it for marketing and forgot to tell you she had taken it.
Sorry bro to ask u this: has yur wife caught u "playing" outside? This may also contribute to the untrusting and with the post natal depression, it is made worst.
Honestly, after we got married I have totally stop all those personal henky penky activities, however as a sales sometime I can't avoid entertainment with client but I know my line.After our baby was born I try to minimize such entertainment or totally reject using excuses like taking care wife & baby
Your post somehow agreed with me 'trust' need be to cultivate & take time to increase the 'trust' indicator depending of what scenerio that happened around U. My personal experience tell me even U 100% trust to your bx, however she will still hold back some & will never trust U 100%
It depends how u define the word ..
To me Trust is Earn ... To you Trust is Cultivate ...
As long as we are comfortable with it ... guess that's okie ...
Whether anot she trust you 100% ... ONLY you know .. for your case , she don't trust you 100% ... and becuase of this ... it affected you and therefore you also don't trust her 100% ...
For me . I take it my wife trust me 100% because I know her well.. so I have to Return in Kind and likewise trust her 100% ...
I agreed with vietboy said ... x% is just a number ... no one can really define the actual % of level .... thats the main reason I said trust is earn and not cultivate ...
Simple analogy ... that's how how brain works and the phychological part ...
Sianz.... bx LTVP application online not approve after careful consideration...
going ICA apply and appeal soon...
Sorry i not as knowledgeable as some bros here, but this is the 1st case i heard LTVP cannot approve.
Well, keep trying, if still cannot look for MP loh.
But 1st thing to ask yurself, is yur bx record here in sing clean? Yurself also. Did u change yur job often in the past 3 yrs? Sorry KT i'm not trying to say anything bad that u n yur bx has committed. But these are some of the things ICA will look at.
23-05-2012, 08:14 AM
