Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[SingViet]

Although there are many sad stories , there are also lots of happy marriages between Singapore man and Vietnamese ladies. Most of us always place our focus on failed marriages between foreign ladies and Singapore man, but not much focus have been place on successful marriages of the same kind.

Marriage of different cultures need time and patience to nuture. Communication is very important, that's why its always good to let your viet spouse to learn either mandarin or English.

I have been married to my wife for around 6 years plus and we have 3 wonderful children. The first few years were difficult due to different culture and thinking, but both of us made effort to minimise the conflict and differences. My wife has changed a lot and i have also made much effort to understand her. Although she is Singaporean now (holding Singapore citizenship), but her thinking is somewhat still very vietnamese. Sometimes she still worry that her family back in province has not enough. Haiz..... very vietnamese indeed.

[big wood]

bro singviet maybe u are right but my frd wife already has a house 2 motor and every month send $500 back to her family and she still choose to run away, anyway wat u say is right the culture and thinking is total difference thanks for the advice has a nice day bro

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by big wood

Hiaz so many sad case one of my frd marry a viet girl(ex jc girl), get her a long term visa now she has been mia for 1 month sometimes i wonder what are they thinking, i totally speechless when a hero come to save them they choose to jump in again

Originally Posted by big wood

bro singviet maybe u are right but my frd wife already has a house 2 motor and every month send $500 back to her family and she still choose to run away, anyway wat u say is right the culture and thinking is total difference thanks for the advice has a nice day bro

The key word here is ex-jc girl which meant ex-WL...this is no no...dun waste time on these...they will like to go back to their frens and old lifestyle when they are bored even after months or years of marriage...

What is $500 to ex-WL...they want like what bro SingViet said thousands...many houses...many bfs....these are what's in their mind about WL...

If you can trust WL then "pigs also can climb trees"...kekeke...

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

i think we have discussed about this many times in this thread. Vietnamese culture is just so different from ours. They are more interested in short term gains than looking to Long term. Often, marrying a foreigner in a foreign land is just the way to gain long term resident status so that they can earn more money to support their useless family members at home. Think about it, these WL can earn more than the normal Singapore guy when they work, why do they want to marry Singapore guys? Unless they are seriously thinking of settling down, which is rare. The thing that they lack is the permit to stay here for the longer term. The demands from their family is huge, want to built house, want to buy bike, want to start business.. all sorts of rubbish. So with little or no education, open leg is the easiest to earn. After getting used to that sort of lifestyle, they find it difficult for their family to cut down on expenses. These gals will start to worry if their family will have enough to eat and spend. So they better earn when they can, why will they want to settle for a mere few hundred for their family a month when they can have a few thousand? Wait till they become old and unattractive, then they will regret what they gave up because of their lazy and useless family back in the province.

I used to share a story of a gal 'W' .... she married a 'RICH' carrot whom she knows for 8 mths after realised she was pregnant. So what bro says is correct .... "After getting used to 'RICH' life, they find it difficult to lower down themself to the 'UN-RICH life" so she gave up a guy who knows her for 2 yrs just because he is not as 'CASH RICH' as the carrot .....

so short term vs long term ..... now vs future

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

I have been married to my wife for around 6 years plus and we have 3 wonderful children. The first few years were difficult due to different culture and thinking, but both of us made effort to minimise the conflict and differences. My wife has changed a lot and i have also made much effort to understand her. Although she is Singaporean now (holding Singapore citizenship), but her thinking is somewhat still very vietnamese. Sometimes she still worry that her family back in province has not enough. Haiz..... very vietnamese indeed.

wonderful bro ...

There are also good story among the many sad stories ... There are always good VBs among the bad VBs ... There are girls looking for true love and there are girls looking for $$$ ...

It boils down to the choice you make, the gal you know,the circle of friends... many many factors ...

Future also lies in your hand to build ....

[big wood]

Anyway if u choose to fell in love with them just pray hard that u are the lucky one anyway u has been warn ha ha has a great Sunday cheers

[jackbl]

Originally Posted by shysaint

There are also good story among the many sad stories ... There are always good VBs among the bad VBs ... There are girls looking for true love and there are girls looking for $$$ ...

It boils down to the choice you make, the gal you know,the circle of friends... many many factors ...

I believe that too, even I seen many bad examples There are also many innocent vietnamese gals who never ply their trades but at the end xxxxx.....

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by jackbl

There are also many innocent vietnamese gals who never ply their trades but at the end xxxxx.....

Yeah ... many many circumstances ....

Peer Pressure ...
Support Family ...
Support Child ...
Cheated by VN BF ...
Cheated by SIN BF ....

etc etc etc ...

Every party got a part to play causing the other party to change their behaviour , characteracters and etc ...

[ekemono]

Yes. bro SingViet has mentioned a particular point which is very true. Vn gals are more prone to only made decision for short term gain. Perhaps that was their culture. So bros like me who have Vn wife you may find this is the hardest mindset to change for their wife/gf. So the first thing to do is never entrust them with too much money. Not that they will run away, but they may prioritise the spending unwisely.

[A+++]

Yea total agreed. As the culture of them, the girls / daughters are suppose to support the family instead of the son. So it's in their mindset tat it is their responsibility to send money back to feed their family, sometimes I pity them for their 'hardwork' without complaining about it.

Lets with us all luck!! hehe

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by shysaint

wonderful bro ...

There are also good story among the many sad stories ... There are always good VBs among the bad VBs ... There are girls looking for true love and there are girls looking for $$$ ...

It boils down to the choice you make, the gal you know,the circle of friends... many many factors ...

Future also lies in your hand to build ....

What i feel is that these vietnamese gals do not have much patience to wait for things to turn better. When they marry their Singaporean husband, they will compare it with their life in Vietnam. If they find their life just as miserable (have to worry about money all the time), they will think that its not worth to marry a foreigner and will try to return to Vietnam. A couple will have to strive together, go thru thick and thin together. Who need not worry about money? Unless you are born super duper rich. The sad thing is, many viet gals do not understand this. If the Singapore man is that rich, he will not want to marry a normal viet gal roi. You choose people, people choose you.

[lovesprout]

Originally Posted by ekemono

Yes. bro SingViet has mentioned a particular point which is very true. Vn gals are more prone to only made decision for short term gain.

Yes. I can give you another example of mine. I lent $200 to a VB, and told her that if she returns the money, I will lend her more next time up to $1000. And she never returned me the $200.

[MrDarkSide]

Originally Posted by xyman

Hi all, no flame me, I asking for one of my friends.
Got one viet gal looking for accommodation in Singapore near the west side. She studying around tiong bahru area.

She 25 years old and not a wl or fl, she got a decent job in hcm (you will not believe it). She quite fair and a bit Eurasian look. If there is any available accommodation, please pm me.

Wow. Viet. Ok. Special Offer here.

There is this apartment available in the west, near the vicinity of the several education institutions. I think there is also a SBS bus straight to Tiong Bahru.
Currently no one is staying there but it is fully furnished, ready for move in at any moment.
Basically she is paying the rent of a room but having the whole apartment to herself.
However there are several T/C attached. Most importantly, she can never ever ask or invite anyone to the apartment, not even another female.
If you are still keen then we discuss further through PM.

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by lovesprout

Yes. I can give you another example of mine. I lent $200 to a VB, and told her that if she returns the money, I will lend her more next time up to $1000. And she never returned me the $200.

In the first place, you believe she will return u??

Another example, 1 of my viet ger borrowed 500USD from her sis and with her saving she loaned 1000USD to her colleague because her colleague had to pay hospital bill for dunno mum or dad. Her colleague promised to pay back next few months with her salary but after 1 year, not even 1USD is return back. My ger pai seh to ask from her and had to slowly return the 500USD to her sis. She told me this and I was so angry with her. Why will she be so stupid to borrow money from sis and loan to others????

[lovesprout]

Originally Posted by naemlo

In the first place, you believe she will return u??

I didn't expect her to return money to me in the first place, that is why I only lent her $200. In my mind, I want to play this mind game with her, and see whether she is smart enough to build up her credit this time, borrow $1000 from me next time, and then run away. It turns out that she is impatient and just wants a short-term gain of $200. Very typical mindset among VB.

Too bad for your friend who lent money to her friend. She must feel very upset. Both money and friends are gone.