Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[raiders]

Originally Posted by SingViet

bro, after u are officially married to her, you must apply for PR for her first. While you wait for your PR application to get approval, you can apply for LTSVP for her. LTSVP can be up to 6 mths initially while u wait for your PR. If PR is approved, of course the best la. If not approved, she can continue to stay in Singapore under LTSVP. With LTSVP, you and her can apply for HDB flat. But one thing to note is that you will not be entitled to the 30K to 40K grant from HDB if your wife is not PR at the time of purchasing the resale flat.

So the correct way is to wait 2 more months for her to finish the course, then ROM with her and applies for PR. When that happens, her student pass will be cancelled and she will be issues LTSVP in the meantime when waiting for PR?

I intend to just get a 3 room flat and with my current salary and CPF contribution, it will be enough to cover the monthly replayment. As for the grant, Im prepared not to take it. Normally, how long does it takes for her to get PR? I know it is a case by case basis and it depends on our age, our education level and my salary. I guess it will take quite long for her to get PR as Im not really earning alot now.

[Sha_Gua75]

Originally Posted by raiders

Alright, now that we are back in Singapore, the next plan is to get engaged in VN (Engagement there means a few tables of lunch for relatives and family) and after that get ROM in Singapore. Next year, then we will hold the traditional marriage. However I still have some doubts about immigration. Hope brothers who have went through the same issues can advise me.

My gf is still a student but will finish her course in 2 months time. Which means after that, all she needs to do is to wait for the Uni to issue her the certificate. So is it possiblle that after she finishes her course, she go and cancel her student pass so that we can go and ROM. And after ROM, ICA will give her long term SVP between 1 month to 6 months? With this long term SVP, we can go and get a pigeon hole? And after many many many months, she can start to apply for PR? Is this the correct flow? Im very worried that she cant ROM with me because now shes still holding her student pass. But asking her to cancel her student pass after she finishes her course might be risky. What if ICA decides not to issue her and SVP? Then we have to be seperated between 2 seperate land. Any brother can advise me?

I think your problem is no problem at all....easily solve to me....althought same old words "subject to approval by authority...case by case basis"...this sentence familiar bo???


by the way....check your PM

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by aman

i'm a holy man.....aman

Hmmmmm u must be joking....

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by raiders

2. They expect you to turn up at every gathering, no matter it is a family, relatives, friends, classmates gathering. And I really meant EVERY GATHERING. You dont go for 1 gathering and people will talk behind your back. What the fxxk. In the end, I dont even have personal time to shop around for souvenirs for my folks back in Singapore.
Overall, my personal opinion is that it is really not easy to marry a Vietnamese girl.

This sat my bro getting engage in VN, tomorrow have to go to bro g/f house for dinner... including me. (knn.. i cannot go dinner with my gal) Have to buy several gifts for bro g/f sis, bro, cousins since all come back form USA.. my mum is already grumbling. Engagement lunch only also make me wear shirt and pants and tie... i am also grumbling now...

Originally Posted by raiders

Alright, now that we are back in Singapore, the next plan is to get engaged in VN (Engagement there means a few tables of lunch for relatives and family)

Engagement is 4 tables + ring + $$ + gifts + 'other chinese trad stuff' + + +

[raiders]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

This sat my bro getting engage in VN, tomorrow have to go to bro g/f house for dinner... including me. (knn.. i cannot go dinner with my gal) Have to buy several gifts for bro g/f sis, bro, cousins since all come back form USA.. my mum is already grumbling. Engagement lunch only also make me wear shirt and pants and tie... i am also grumbling now...



Engagement is 4 tables + ring + $$ + gifts + 'other chinese trad stuff' + + +

Yeah, they expect alot from us, foreigners. I was in VN during TET and her parents was asking why I did not wear shirt and pants on the 1st day of TET when I already made an effort to wear a bright red t-shirt. Diao them. Gift wise, her family did not insist much. Instead, her parents and her uncle (I stayed at her uncle house) kept asking me not to buy anything for them (I made an effort to try to buy something like a carton of beer or a hamper)
Vietnamese culture is very difficult. Fxxk them. I openly complaint to her parents and told them that they are being unfair to me and my gf by making it hard for us to be together while her brother in law got it easy by making her older sister pregnant and they had a very quick and urgent marriage. Somemore her parents can still tell her older sis to treat her hubby well, give in to him and listen to him and then tell my gf not to listen to me so much and not to treat me so importantly. Really want to vomit blood. Im glad now Im back in Singapore.

[naemlo]

Originally Posted by raiders

Really want to vomit blood. Im glad now Im back in Singapore.

Reminds me of past which happened 3 yrs ago. First time there in HCMC, didn't bring much cash, as I still green with their culture and I didn't expect to spend so much.

Others wanted beer, I paid, others wanted to eat, I paid. CB, si pei tu lan thing was gave them few hundreds thousands dong, complaint not enough. Everything I also paid. Almost end of the trip no cash, kena complaint y no cash. Tiu, how the f I know I have to paid for the whole village???

[KangTuo]

To bro with Vietnamese wife..

Does she always call u when u working?
Does she always expect u to go home straight after work everyday?
Does she show face when come home late (after 12mn)?
Does she give u a feeling that she wants to control ur life after marraige?

Somethings b4 marriage is sweet...u feel that she show concern. But after marriage, maybe you feel that she want to control your life...

Sillypore gals will do all the above.

[raiders]

Originally Posted by naemlo

Reminds me of past which happened 3 yrs ago. First time there in HCMC, didn't bring much cash, as I still green with their culture and I didn't expect to spend so much.

Others wanted beer, I paid, others wanted to eat, I paid. CB, si pei tu lan thing was gave them few hundreds thousands dong, complaint not enough. Everything I also paid. Almost end of the trip no cash, kena complaint y no cash. Tiu, how the f I know I have to paid for the whole village???

We are always at a losing end. Marry a girl from a village and the entire village expects you to sponsor them. Marry a girl whose parents have some spare cash, and they expect your gift to be high class. Luckily they only want beer. What if they asked for blue label?

From this trip, I had a very bad impression of the VN people. In front of them, they expect me to smile and respect them. But behind my back, they are telling my gf not to be with me, leave me. Frankly speaking, given my character, I cannot accept this. Her elder cousin was 1 such person. When we were in her city waiting for transit, she called back my gf family and talked alot of bad things to her parents. This resulted in my gf's poor old man to take a 3 hour bus ride to our city just to see his daughter for 4 hours and then take a bus back home again. Poor old man and unneccessary troubles. In VN, it is really REN2 YAN2 KE3 WEI4 (comp cannot type chinese)

[raiders]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

To bro with Vietnamese wife..

Does she always call u when u working?
Does she always expect u to go home straight after work everyday?
Does she show face when come home late (after 12mn)?
Does she give u a feeling that she wants to control ur life after marraige?

Somethings b4 marriage is sweet...u feel that she show concern. But after marriage, maybe you feel that she want to control your life...

Sillypore gals will do all the above.

She will sms me often
Yes, come back home straight
Yes, show black face
Yes, want to control my life

But I dont really mind it given the fact that I love her alot and so far, she had done or given up alot to be with me.

[chanyboy]

wei bros...u all don't scare me leh.. I'm only at step#1 (SViet said I'm just at the baby step) & now all these...

I wish to be ongxa..."anh yeu nhieu nhieu"..

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by raiders

So the correct way is to wait 2 more months for her to finish the course, then ROM with her and applies for PR. When that happens, her student pass will be cancelled and she will be issues LTSVP in the meantime when waiting for PR?

Bro, after u have applied for PR for her on 5th floor of ICA, u need to go to 4th floor to apply for LTSVP. When u apply PR, they will not automatically give u LTSVP. If your wife to be is degree holder, then ask her to look for job and 6 mths down the road, apply for PR on her own credit. It may be easier this way then you applying and be sponsor for her PR.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by naemlo

Reminds me of past which happened 3 yrs ago. First time there in HCMC, didn't bring much cash, as I still green with their culture and I didn't expect to spend so much. Others wanted beer, I paid, others wanted to eat, I paid. CB, si pei tu lan thing was gave them few hundreds thousands dong, complaint not enough. Everything I also paid. Almost end of the trip no cash, kena complaint y no cash. Tiu, how the f I know I have to paid for the whole village?

That reminds me too. Before i married my wife a few years ago, i went with her back to her province. Before i went there, she asked me to change more 100,000VND and 50,000VND notes. When we reach there, i was like santa clause. I was visiting everyone of her relatives and giving out cash. Told her not enough cash liao she still angry

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

To bro with Vietnamese wife..
Does she always call u when u working?
Does she always expect u to go home straight after work everyday?
Does she show face when come home late (after 12mn)?
Does she give u a feeling that she wants to control ur life after marraige?
Somethings b4 marriage is sweet...u feel that she show concern. But after marriage, maybe you feel that she want to control your life...
Sillypore gals will do all the above.

bro, this is something that will happen when just married. The reasons for this is there's not much trust between both of u. I remember i was going thru all these when i was just married. The worse was i was in HCM City then and temptation was a lot. Bro Sha-gua can tell you how my wife followed us secretly when i went out with Bro Sha Gua in HCM City some years ago.. hahaha Nowadays, my wife trust me much more and doesn't call me that often. But in terms of night life, i am totally restricted.

[chanyboy]

...on the flip side...I supposed the Vn ger/gf/wife will always try their best to keep their men happy - true? This is to 'keep' their own men from philandering anymore - which in the right sense is correct (if all wives are like that no more "Desperate hsewives tales" oredi).

It's a give and take, if the partner wishes to be well-treated, start by treating the partner well. Be understanding, let go a bit - I don't think the men is going out to look for a 2nd wife - crazy to do that. It just a little fun, and if they are damn happy at home - the fun outside is just that - very tiny; no more than tcss & touch-here & there. After which, rush home to hv fun with partner...more loving, more cost-saving & better long term investment.

Just my humble tot..

(still meditating...meditating...be patient...wait, wait..)

[aman]

Originally Posted by naemlo

Reminds me of past which happened 3 yrs ago. First time there in HCMC, didn't bring much cash, as I still green with their culture and I didn't expect to spend so much.

Others wanted beer, I paid, others wanted to eat, I paid. CB, si pei tu lan thing was gave them few hundreds thousands dong, complaint not enough. Everything I also paid. Almost end of the trip no cash, kena complaint y no cash. Tiu, how the f I know I have to paid for the whole village???

my vn gf alway ask me to visit her in vn, i scare to go already.let her tu lan me.