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I dun think all Singaporean men behave like u. Guess u will not like my harsh words.
Some Singaporean men are soft and born stupid. Listen to whatever, not 100% but at least 99% of what wife or gf says... a bit of disgrace. In hokkien, sia suay. In chinese, fan jian. Men can give in most of the time but not always. We have to be firm when necessary else u give her 1 inch, she will want 1 ruler length.
U are to be blame to make her to become what she is now. Even wife and husband, u need to be smart to manage finance. Only stupid man will give all his earning to wife. There are thousands of stories, wife runs away with all the money. This is real practical world, money sometimes rules over relationship.
From taking away all the money, run away and threaten to divorce, it is either she don't love that much as what u think or she is just using this same old workable tactics on u to make u behave like a dog n listen to her.
Either u keep to your soft character n listen to her, give in to her and continue to be your wife's another big baby or be tough for once. If she still bothers about u n u ignore her for sometime, not even reply her sms, IM or whatever, she will be worried n look for u but if she dun bother about u and just treating u as another money making machine, she will not bother to look for u.
It is your life, u messed it up, no one can help to pick your shit.... u just have to clean your own ass at end of the day.
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Anyone here faced same situation and managed to counter? can advise? I think I Kenna Jiak GAO GAO, now seems like I can't do anything about it. My bank dry Liao. Now she asking me fly to Vietnam find her and she's sorry abt what she had done, but I can't afford to do so, my bank left a few hundred. This month no hit target (no mood to work), no money for next month.
Okay I admit, indeed I am a sillyporean.
i remember you now after checking your past posts...in 6 months you had savings of 8k...not bad consider we dun know what your job is...to save 1k per month for any family is already very tough consider you have Viet spouse and a baby...
your story is such that your wife have not love you yet...being married to you doesn't mean love you...also having sex and baby to any VB is also not love you more...haha....typical sinkie dun understand VB culture before getting hitched...
i dun like to advise family to break up but if you have to you have to...do it early rather than later...end result is painful...sufferings for any kid...
another way is to follow bro SingViet advice....try to slow talk and get her involved in household matters include finances...never let your wife gets bored...once she is bored here...she will want to go back Wet Nam...as for finances...never allow her to manage or share all your money...guaranteed all money withdrawn sooner or later...haha...not sure any use now but you have to go thru the painful process and time will tell what is the outcome....
SGD 8k can change estimate 133 mil VND...phew that is plenty plenty of money to spent in WET NAM...^^
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haha.. I wun comment on that.. from his fb then I know what had I missed.. anyway that just show what vb are capable of..
haha...i knew long ago what VB capable to do...VBs are not for the weak hearted men...you need to employ tough strong tactics in order for VB to be submissive...including your wife...
I had mentioned these many times in my past posts...not going to change my thinking...
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sorry dude, but it looks like it was all premeditated and planned 2k/mths, she took 8k, so you think its only takes 4mths for someone to think abt divorce...i think she was planning the escape much longer and she been unhappy much longer...i dont know how u get your son, but the lady i would say let her go
Thanks bro, we've been married for a year now. Cannot denounce marriage since over one year plus she not in Singapore. It is hard to let her go, esp when we have a son and I certainly do not wish to walk down this path of divorce. My parents and I have never mistreated her or anything, it just puzzles me why she is unhappy.. Quarrel - I argue back, her face black black, angry and attitude me so I always diam diam, don't want to worsen the quarrel. Got son cos we lam tinh la, no like protection thus the aftermath consequences but of cos I wanted to settle then Liao la.
Money can earn back but my son, if she hides him, I can never get him back... From my understanding from her and reaffirmation from bros here is that, Vietnam men hits their wife, drink and gamble and prostitute. So she don't like Vietnam men, Yet she doesn't seem to treasure me. Any bros can recommend some Wu ling miji to gain enlightenment? Hahaha a lot of bros here very pro in managing their bx
Sorry to disturb this thread. To any man who had divorced before, I need to know how long to get the Final Judgement certificate. Ancillary matters had been settled. And is it ok to remarry at any time after obtaining the Final Judgement certificate? Thanks in advance.
Sorry to disturb this thread. To any man who had divorced before, I need to know how long to get the Final Judgement certificate. Ancillary matters had been settled. And is it ok to remarry at any time after obtaining the Final Judgement certificate? Thanks in advance.
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When i married my wife 10 years ago, my MIL keep asking my wife to take over my finances. My wife asked me a few times, i declined. As i only started doing business in vietnam then, my finances were very tight. I told my wife i hold postgraduate degrees in finance, i can manage my finances better than her. Everyday, i will give my wife a certain amount of money to go to market. I will also place some money in her wallet. We go out together all the time, so i know what she spent on. She can ask from me again when she finishes the money. After coming back to Singapore, i always let my wife have around $100 to $200 in her wallet. My wife also have access to NETS, but there's only a few hundred dollars in that account. She also has supplementary credit cards from me, but with limited credit. All these years, i have learnt to trust my wife but still finances need to be controlled as she has a soft spot for her family. I have seen some Singaporean husband who doesn't give his wife a cent, this is very wrong. Different spouse have different character, but its best to keep finances to yourself and give her some pocket money. Also do not let her know how much you have in your bank till many years later when you feel you can trust her.
Bro SingViet, how you decline your wife w/o her getting upset and angry? Told her the similar thing but she don't understand and counter back that I don't trust her etc and the whole drama comes back again. Like you mentioned, I gave her some allowance but a little more la $300/mth (she say she need more to buy son's necessity), sometimes less depending on how much I bring back, & access to our joint account for our son's future schooling fees.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SingViet
I agree with the other brother that your wife has planned this long time back. You got to think over again if you want your wife back. Many Singaporean man are totally controlled by their viet spouse. What their wife wants, they will give. Viet spouse also know how to control their husbands, mostly thru sex. Marriage is about mutual respect, but i have observed, in most cases of viet spouse, the wife and her family is more equal than the husband.
Planned or not, I don't know.. Giving her benefit of doubt? But she left my house w/o anything except her phone and money la. But the air tix book same night and following night evening flew back. think bros here might think I dumb la but afterall who gives up on the person they love after one or many unhappy event? I can feel she got love me la but if she treats me equal now like her family I guess she repent? She contacted me yesterday and said she's sorry about what she had done.
Now she's back in wet nam, she told her mother the story (quarrel we had). According to her, her mother don't let her come back sillypore as she thinks I am mistreating her daughter. (-.-) wtf now I have to go back wet nam & "convince" my MIL that she is not mistreated over here?!
Quote:
Originally Posted by naemlo
Some Singaporean men are soft and born stupid. Listen to whatever, not 100% but at least 99% of what wife or gf says... a bit of disgrace. In hokkien, sia suay. In chinese, fan jian. Men can give in most of the time but not always. We have to be firm when necessary else u give her 1 inch, she will want 1 ruler length.
U are to be blame to make her to become what she is now. Even wife and husband, u need to be smart to manage finance. Only stupid man will give all his earning to wife. There are thousands of stories, wife runs away with all the money. This is real practical world, money sometimes rules over relationship.
From taking away all the money, run away and threaten to divorce, it is either she don't love that much as what u think or she is just using this same old workable tactics on u to make u behave like a dog n listen to her.
Either u keep to your soft character n listen to her, give in to her and continue to be your wife's another big baby or be tough for once. If she still bothers about u n u ignore her for sometime, not even reply her sms, IM or whatever, she will be worried n look for u but if she dun bother about u and just treating u as another money making machine, she will not bother to look for u.
It is your life, u messed it up, no one can help to pick your shit.... u just have to clean your own ass at end of the day.
It's ok la bro, I need wake up call n drill into my brains too. So Thanks bro naemlo, noted for your advice, I really fucked things up. I always tot vbs are easier to control than Singaporean girls thus I broke up with my Singapore gf when she was demanding and pressurizing me about earning more money buy house etc. I always tot vbs have less expectation and want a simple life - my wife told me she don't care about money la, just want simple life.... But I guess it's not the case when she withdrew all the money for my son's education.... I 真坏命! (Hokkien - Jin pai mian)
i remember you now after checking your past posts...in 6 months you had savings of 8k...not bad consider we dun know what your job is...to save 1k per month for any family is already very tough consider you have Viet spouse and a baby...
I'm currently "self-employed", haha as a "FA" la... No CPF, so the $2k save for our future la... Well.... My parents helped me a lot, I'm living with my parents, a lot of times my mum sponsor the milk tin and pampers. I'm guilty..... :X
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88
your story is such that your wife have not love you yet...being married to you doesn't mean love you...also having sex and baby to any VB is also not love you more...haha....typical sinkie dun understand VB culture before getting hitched...
Well, too late to regret, though my family and friends got strong objection for the marriage, but she was carrying my boy then, i cannot be bastard then leave her right? That's why a lot of sinkies around sigh..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88
i dun like to advise family to break up but if you have to you have to...do it early rather than later...end result is painful...sufferings for any kid...
Thanks bro, that's the last option if she insists and leave me no choice.... Sorry to be a pain, would you or anyone here know how I can get my son's "抚养权- fu yang quan"? Well, I doubt she can raise him up.... And afraid she wouldn't let me raise him, take monthly allowance from me then money don't know spend where - if we divorce. Appreciate all your help!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hurricane88
another way is to follow bro SingViet advice....try to slow talk and get her involved in household matters include finances...never let your wife gets bored...once she is bored here...she will want to go back Wet Nam...as for finances...never allow her to manage or share all your money...guaranteed all money withdrawn sooner or later...haha...not sure any use now but you have to go thru the painful process and time will tell what is the outcome....
SGD 8k can change estimate 133 mil VND...phew that is plenty plenty of money to spent in WET NAM...^^
Yes definitely have to slow, sweet, butter, honey talk her to come back sillypore with my son. Sigh well.... I gave her allowance and she runs it, as I trusted her. Cos previously, she wasn't very happy when I commented about her spending etc.... I certainly hope she didn't spend all my money I have saved for our son and future in wet nam now!
Thanks bro, that's the last option if she insists and leave me no choice.... Sorry to be a pain, would you or anyone here know how I can get my son's "抚养权- fu yang quan"? Well, I doubt she can raise him up.... And afraid she wouldn't let me raise him, take monthly allowance from me then money don't know spend where - if we divorce. Appreciate all your help!
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This is life of a couple... during honeymoon period, si mi lan jiao also can... after marriage, the truth will be out.
always advise my friends...talk about marriage after 2 years...all the pattern more than badminton will surfaced liao by then...seriously dun need 2 yrs la...6 mths can see liao...
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Different parents have different ideas about education for their children. Most want their children to study in Singapore and learn more of english and chinese. To me, i hold a no compromise attitude towards my children's education. I do not allow my children to go back to Vietnam during TET as holidays in Singapore is only 2 days. I have witnessed many Viet spouse bringing their children back to VN for more than 1 month for TET. The children got to miss lessons. This is not about stress, but how we parents manage responsibilities towards our children's education. Many of my children's teachers find it surprising on how my children can do well in school. My twin daughters are in Primary 4 now and has been awarded Academic Excellence Awards for the past 3 years. They are also constantly in the first class. There are 2 other children with viet mothers in the same school, but both are doing very badly. Many fellow samsters find me a chore as i hold a totally different idea towards vietnam and my children.
Thanks bro SingViet for sharing! Well.... Do you coach your children with their studies and give them tuition etc? I don't think I will have time to test them spelling etc, and nowadays theirs syllables getting tougher. I pity their generation, cannot catch and play spider like me. Ahhh missing those carefree days... My result also first in class, but count from the back haha :P
Thanks bro SingViet for sharing! Well.... Do you coach your children with their studies and give them tuition etc? I don't think I will have time to test them spelling etc, and nowadays theirs syllables getting tougher. I pity their generation, cannot catch and play spider like me. Ahhh missing those carefree days... My result also first in class, but count from the back haha :P
i cannot suggest what you can do now, its like what can u do asker u drop milk, break the eggs etc, i never undewrstand why would u just not find out who the girl is before marriage, and sure if she says you dont trust her say yes i dont trust you thats why we dating now...its seems u want to close your eyes trust trust, take a passive role, its equivalent to being lazy in love, then not take precautions and then get the girl pregnamt, in 2013 there is no excuse for unplanned pregnany, after get her pregnant then forced to be married. You say you didnt do anything wrong you didnt mistreat her, there are other worse men out there, but is that all there is to make a girl happy, the fact is she prob know u better than u know her, she outsmarted you, now she can have a life free and simple holding your child for ransom in effect, when she has money she has love, if you had kept control of your money maybe you also would have love, u give it away she no longer needs you...there are many reasons and possibilities why she feels she needs to do this, but i dont think its something she did quickly, maybe she does all this spent the money and now regrets her action as she cant get more money from u so say sorry waiting to withdraw from ATM second time, who can really say...if you dont know her, how can we know, regardless how much experience. Asking out opinion prob would have been better b4 the damage has been done.
What is your job "FA"..i dont know what that means
19-03-2014, 10:09 AM
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
Re: Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner
I 真坏命! (Hokkien - Jin pai mian)
