Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[ikuogikuog]

U can also consider some cheap freehold property in Geylang. About $500k for a 1 bedroom. 420-450 sqft. At least u own this house forever compared to Hdb 99 leasehold which is 20 yrs old

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by SingViet

If you want to marry in VN, the legal age is 18 years old. But why marry such a young gal? Young gals are playful and not stable. I think there was a study done not long ago, gals that marry young tend to divorce after 2 or 3 years. In marriage, we want stability. Young gals are naive, when they argue with you, they tend to stray easily. Gals after the age of 25 or 26 are better bets. In marriage, there's lots of endurance and sacrifice. If you feel you cannot stick with 1, better not marry. If divorce after have kids, the kids suffer big time. My years of marriage till now, there are times when i feel like giving up, but the thought of my kids hold me down. Got to be responsible for what you have done, we are not ang moh, can marry and divorce as many times as we like. Sometimes, when a certain attitude in marriage couldn't work, just ponder over it, change your attitude and problem can be solved. Good luck !!

Agree with what u say.To mantain a marriage is seriously not easy.Nowadays sg couple.little bit cannot or not happy,want divorce.Recent study show that, older couple whose kids already grown up who are 50 plus and above,divorce rate is going up.Singapore society have change and ppl now value more individual happiness or freedom.

I was always curious as to most couple would rather close one eye, suffer in silence or endurace cos because of dont want kids to suffer if divorce.But what about if 30 or 40 years later when your kids grow up and marry with own family,will the marriage still continue as happy?Hard to say.

My wife sometime ask me will we be like that old couple with white hair,still holding hands while on the street when we grow old.I told her 20 to 30 years later,nobody know.

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by jf66312

yup..definitely not easy...in Singapore , single income family is never easy so finding an understanding vb as bxa is a challenge..

am so far quite lucky that my bxa never ask for $$ to send back to her home every mth...its more of a send when the need arises basis... but now have little OC so expenses also went up...

think carefully when u decide to have a VN wife who probably have difficulty finding a decent job in the beginning...
it comes with alot of responsibilty and committment as well..

bro...legal age for Vb to marry foreigner in Singapore is 21 yrs old..

bro doggie,since u are still young,marry bro like us should give u some info on before marriage and after marriage is not the same.

Before marry is love love here,love love there,u only see good things in me and i also see good thing in u.

After marriage,love will change to care and good things might be change to things u might not like.Feeling is different liao

[jf66312]

Originally Posted by Golden question

bro doggie,since u are still young,marry bro like us should give u some info on before marriage and after marriage is not the same.

Before marry is love love here,love love there,u only see good things in me and i also see good thing in u.

After marriage,love will change to care and good things might be change to things u might not like.Feeling is different liao

yup...no matter how much love is involved , as we are in a realistic society, it ultimately also boils down to "bread & butter" laid on the table..

bearing in mind that responsibilty for your own family and your wife's family will come in ( not counting your parents if you do need to support as well )...

definitely in the beginning will be tough as we are young and at the age where most guys are cheonging for career....those who have reached their late 30s or 40s are more or less stable in terms of career or financially...

thus finding balance between work and managing family & also your wife's expectations is not easy...alot of things that u never expect will start to surface as well... eg: 1)wife never work will feel lonely at home while husband working most of the time. 2) peer pressure as VNs like to compare with frens , who is better .....and many more....

hope am not scaring you off but thats life....

[V|ernar]

Originally Posted by SingViet

I have known 2 singapore man with Viet spouse on LTSVP that purchased flats with joint ownership.

This I know , but no grant

[ilovedoggie]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Lobang I dun have ... air ticket will never have lobang .. the most is people dun charge you their service charges ...

but then u need to know some tricks to save some money ... and also u need to spent time to research for cheap flight ... need planning ... with these u sure to flight efficiently ...

i will pm u and i buy u bia/ca phe soon so that we can discuss thanks shysaint kor kor

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Golden question

bro doggie,since u are still young,marry bro like us should give u some info on before marriage and after marriage is not the same.

Before marry is love love here,love love there,u only see good things in me and i also see good thing in u.

After marriage,love will change to care and good things might be change to things u might not like.Feeling is different liao

Haha. You are right.

[ilovedoggie]

Originally Posted by jf66312

yup..definitely not easy...in Singapore , single income family is never easy so finding an understanding vb as bxa is a challenge..

bro...legal age for Vb to marry foreigner in Singapore is 21 yrs old..

thanks for your advice

my girl want to learn hair dressing so that she can work in sg hair saloon when we get married and live in sg. is there a way to have her stay in and work here on longer without having to marry her because she's still below 19?

Originally Posted by SingViet

If you want to marry in VN, the legal age is 18 years old. But why marry such a young gal? Young gals are playful and not stable. I think there was a study done not long ago, gals that marry young tend to divorce after 2 or 3 years. In marriage, we want stability. Young gals are naive, when they argue with you, they tend to stray easily. Gals after the age of 25 or 26 are better bets.

Good luck !!

thanks for sharing bro singviet! i actually can stick with one and i think she's the one i want to stick with. every time we have go apart at the airport i always feel my heart sinks into my stomach and then she phone me and say "ong xaaa...." in her unique purring tone... i feel want to cry Such thing never happens in my life when i was with any other girls.

i personally also think she's still young to get married but girls in her village all got married by the age of 21. understanding a bx is already a challenge, let alone the financial burden thereafter. i foresee my life a lot tougher unless i can earn 100k annually consistently then i think no much problem on the bread and butter, i think...

the only thing now is she cannot see my very often and i don't know what to do to maintain the long distance relationship... the only thing i can do is to visit her on monthly basis.

but i'm confused on the legal age for marriage... some ppl told me 21, my girl told me 19 but under the parents consent... some also say 18...

Originally Posted by Golden question

bro doggie,since u are still young,marry bro like us should give u some info on before marriage and after marriage is not the same.

After marriage,love will change to care and good things might be change to things u might not like.Feeling is different liao

please bomb me with lots of thoughts/info/warning etc that you bros who are married to a bx can... yea nowadays my girl like to call me early in the morning and out of nothing but keep on calling me "ong xa... ong xa... ong xa..." and giggle... lovey dovey honeymoon period but when i think of the stuff that i will have to go through in the future with her... it brings me headache even now... i am still very young but my girl is even younger... she has her own family financial problem and i have my own conquest in my career path and wealth planning and my own financial commitment every month... lots and lots of things to think about. really lots of things to think about and planning to do to get together with a future bx...

btw during my recent meet-up with my girl, she said i slimmed down a lot and become too skinny... then she gave me two types of medicine... she ask me to take one of each once a day... it will help me to sleep well and eat more... she was very skinny back then but not anymore after she took the pills. she insist that it's effective and insist me to eat i still doubt the pills.

many thanks to the caring bros here.

love,
doggie

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by SingViet

... My years of marriage till now, there are times when i feel like giving up, but the thought of my kids hold me down. Got to be responsible for what you have done ...

Bro ... I fully AGREE ...

I been thru this before ....

I used to think shall I get involved again ... But then I Still get committed into this again ...

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Golden question

My wife sometime ask me will we be like that old couple with white hair,still holding hands while on the street when we grow old.I told her 20 to 30 years later,nobody know.

Mine is opposite of you ... I ask what your wife ask ... and my wife answered what you answered to your wife

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by Golden question

bro doggie,since u are still young,marry bro like us should give u some info on before marriage and after marriage is not the same.

Before marry is love love here,love love there,u only see good things in me and i also see good thing in u.

After marriage,love will change to care and good things might be change to things u might not like.Feeling is different liao

Yip .. I do agree ... HOwever .. everything takes 2 hands to clap ...

My feelings now to my current wife is different from my ex-marriage .. furthermore I don't see my wife everyday, so feeling might be fresh .. so I guess that will to sustain the relationship fro along time to come ..

Yes , we always TALK about no $$ no Honey ... BUT if the gal is truely good ... she wil not bother much about that issue ...

The most important factors is :

1. understand their cultures ..
2. give and take ...
3. giving in more than they giving in to you ...
4. be truthful ...
5. be adaptable ...

ONLY you yourself know about your wife/gf ... NO ONE else knows about your wife ...

Every one are different .... Apply what is applicable to you and her .. and NOT everything you learnt here ...

Rgds

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by jf66312

...alot of things that u never expect will start to surface as well... eg: 1)wife never work will feel lonely at home while husband working most of the time. 2) peer pressure as VNs like to compare with frens , who is better .....and many more ...

Yes ... I am 1 example of such situations ...

IF you have red my postings u know why ...

BROs here before questioned me WHY my wife did not have her delivery of my baby gal here ....

1 more thing to add to bro jtf66312 comment ... Language / Communications ....

If one person cannot talk to someone ... LOneliness will kick in ...

LIke my wife .. she can speak english but cannot speak mandarine ... my mum vice versa ... during her preganancy .. she is so sad coz NO one to talk to ... she cried sometimes ...

Now situations get better ... she got baby to look after ... she start to talk to my mum ... she even taught my mum to cook Vietnamese dishes ... she buys thing for my mum .. look after my 2 daughters when they come over ...

looking at the bright side ... if the couples clap the hands together ... things will only get Better ....

so she are at least occupied with all this things .. so is not to bad ...

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

is there a way to have her stay in and work here on longer without having to marry her because she's still below 19?

Without Marrying her ... Chances practically = to 'O'

Even Marrying her .. chances is not more than 15 % ...

[jf66312]

Originally Posted by shysaint

Yes ... I am 1 example of such situations ...

IF you have red my postings u know why ...

BROs here before questioned me WHY my wife did not have her delivery of my baby gal here ....

1 more thing to add to bro jtf66312 comment ... Language / Communications ....

If one person cannot talk to someone ... LOneliness will kick in ...

LIke my wife .. she can speak english but cannot speak mandarine ... my mum vice versa ... during her preganancy .. she is so sad coz NO one to talk to ... she cried sometimes ...

Now situations get better ... she got baby to look after ... she start to talk to my mum ... she even taught my mum to cook Vietnamese dishes ... she buys thing for my mum .. look after my 2 daughters when they come over ...

looking at the bright side ... if the couples clap the hands together ... things will only get Better ....

so she are at least occupied with all this things .. so is not to bad ...

your situation better....

mine also only spk english cant spk mandarin....am not staying with my parents as they never approved of my marriage...

so most of the time she is alone at home also while am out working...now have little one already but sometimes she still complains...

mine sometimes also will cry all of sudden...tats why when she want to go out with frens i dun really say no...just stay home take care of little one....

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

i feel want to cry Such thing never happens in my life when i was with any other girls.

Sames as me ... You are Cleared for Take-Off ...

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

i personally also think she's still young to get married but girls in her village all got married by the age of 21.

YEs it true ... but dosen't means you have to follows ... It's about YOU and HER ...

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

let alone the financial burden thereafter. i foresee my life a lot tougher unless i can earn 100k annually consistently then i think no much problem on the bread and butter, i think...

Everything is a Burden ... Learn to Oversome it ... LEarn to solve it ...

I know $$$ is Bread ... Butter .. and Honey ... BUT it is NOT everything ...

If eveythings Talk about $$$ ... Relationship sure down the drain ....

JUst be truthful ... Learn how to Make your Little $$$ works wonder ...

IF you got $$$ .. you want her and you also go around bonking other gals... $$$ also Not enought ..

HAve you ever heard ... HIGH Earning equate to HIGH Expenditure

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

the only thing now is she cannot see my very often and i don't know what to do to maintain the long distance relationship...

1. Visiting is a MUST ...

2. Talk over the Phone .. Everyday I talk to my wife and baby for at least 20mins before they sleep .... You can use skype credit to call her mobile - much much much more cheap than using the cheapest calling card

3. Try teach here to used basic computer skills like msn , skype ..

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

but i'm confused on the legal age for marriage... some ppl told me 21, my girl told me 19 but under the parents consent... some also say 18....

You confuse yourself ... you listen to people and yet you did nothing to check it out ... no wonder you are confuse ...

It's your destiny ... you have to work hard and find out hard yourself ... dun depends on others to spoon fed you ...

People can help you .. but how much can they help and advice you if you dun self help yourself ..

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

please bomb me with lots of thoughts/info/warning ... really lots of things to think about and planning to do to get together with a future bx...

There is nothing to BOMB about ... Every Relationship is different from one another ...

she is your gal ,,, you know whats best for her ... Young doesn't mean you cannot think .... unless you alwasy used your small head to think then nothign to talk about ...

LIke I said .. Good COmmunications is Very important ... share with her your thoughts ... not when u see her , u bonk her ... its about talking and sharing, learn their cultures from her ... built relatioship when you and her are together, know their families and etc and etc ... ... So NOW you know WHY I seldom meet BROs in HCMC for Partying ??

Originally Posted by ilovedoggie

btw during my recent meet-up with my girl, she said i slimmed down a lot and become too skinny... then she gave me two types of medicine... she ask me to take one of each once a day... it will help me to sleep well and eat more... she was very skinny back then but not anymore after she took the pills. she insist that it's effective and insist me to eat i still doubt the pills....

That's 1 Way on how Vietnamese gals are showing concern on their loves 1. I am now too on their VN medicine ... everyday must eat 8 tablets and must eat for 3 mths ... so is u shiong or I shiong ???
[/QUOTE]