Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[Greatking]

they like to act fierce and when they know they losing, they call reinforcement.. knn... i still remember e other time..

[skyfree]

[QUOTE=SingViet;7866552]I have been reading in amazement how various sinkie brudders here have been:
a. rushing to get officially married to a vb
Dont Rush to get officially married to a VB. Understand them well and have some trust in them and let them have some trust and understand you well before settling in.
b. buying gold and jewellery to please them
I never buy gold and jewellery to please them. i told them feeding them full is way better than wearing gold and jewellery around to show off. Told my gal and her parents too.
c. working hard to move into new house and even worried about little details such as a Welcome Back Home signage!
As for this, i never think of so much details. Of cos must have housewarming session leh.
Let me just list a few things here that is Guarantee to make ur life with ur VB into a big FAILURE (and not success).

1. Give them as much money as they ask for.
This one i always bargain, even told my gal that after marriage, i give her mother how much per month which is very little because her mother is still working in hometown. Hence give a little is ok liao and if need help in buying new washing machine, i can chip in to help. Told my gal that i thinking for the future also and for our baby also.
2. Treat them very nice, peel the prawn, open the door, push the chair... etc
Nope, my gal peel prawn for me, but of course when see my phone see got gal pictures esp vn gals, will question me.dont really like me to take photo of vn gals when dining in the local restuarant.
3. Worry very much about impressing them and letting them know u really care about them and will do whatever they ask u to do.
I did show to her parents and her that i care, but only to a certain extent. They understand and only ask me to help out if can.4. Sending them for various training courses... English, Chinese, Hair dressing... etc etc.
Nope, i did not send my gal for courses. She can practice by talking with me either on bed or go jalan jalan...
5. Being 100% loyal to them beyond any reasonable doubts.
100percent loyal to my gal, i think so...but not 100percent lah...though is high enough to warrant bro deptrai4u to issue a worrying signal for me...

In fact, those things ur mother taught u about treating a girl... if u do exactly that... there is a very HIGH chance ur relationship with ur VB will FAIL miserably and very fast and soon asking urself "what did i do wrong to deserve this shit????"


Haha...my mother did not teach me leh...though she dont allow me to sleep with my gf in my room in singapore...i assure her that nothing will happen...
By the way, was shocked and surprised that my gal dad has facebook account and added me.

[SingViet]

If any one of you pay some attention, there are many marriages between VB and Sinkie man breaking down barely 2 years after marriage. Things get worse by the 4th year mark. Not many marriages can last beyond the 5 year mark. I should think this is also one of the reason why ICA is not very willing to give out more SPR to foreign spouse, unless they see stability in the husband's income and also the couple's marriage.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by Greatking

they like to act fierce and when they know they losing, they call reinforcement.. knn... i still remember e other time..

Of course they do that when they are at home ground. We can never fight them in VN , unless you are super loaded to hire more help.

[Bigkuss]

Bro ...
talking abt marriage breakup .... whats the damage ..
Will she request share in hdb even if shes an foreigner?

Curious coz my parents wants me married .... or atlesast get an
grandchildren of my blood Hahahaha ....

So breakup in 2 years is ok if she can give me a kid ....
My patents Dont want adopted kid ... still old school of thought mah .... want one of my blood Hahahaha....

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by Bigkuss

Bro ...
talking abt marriage breakup .... whats the damage ..
Will she request share in hdb even if shes an foreigner?

Curious coz my parents wants me married .... or atlesast get an
grandchildren of my blood Hahahaha ....

So breakup in 2 years is ok if she can give me a kid ....
My patents Dont want adopted kid ... still old school of thought mah .... want one of my blood Hahahaha....

Dont treat foreign bride as a give birth machine to let your parents be happy to have a grandchild,they are also a human being like u

scare about damage,then dont marry loh

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Bigkuss

Bro ...
talking abt marriage breakup .... whats the damage ..
Will she request share in hdb even if shes an foreigner?

Curious coz my parents wants me married .... or atlesast get an
grandchildren of my blood Hahahaha ....

So breakup in 2 years is ok if she can give me a kid ....
My patents Dont want adopted kid ... still old school of thought mah .... want one of my blood Hahahaha....

yes...so long you are married...women charter still apply...will ask for a share of anything you own so long she has a lawyer...haha...

see you contradicting...first parents want you to get married...then you must ensure wife give birth...who guarantee you that...

you want to get married and then breakup in 2 years...so what do you want ha...why so troublesome...haha...

for me and those that bros that knew the viet scene...vb dun mind to have baby with u if they love you without marriage...

[Peacock29]

Originally Posted by SingViet

If any one of you pay some attention, there are many marriages between VB and Sinkie man breaking down barely 2 years after marriage. Things get worse by the 4th year mark. Not many marriages can last beyond the 5 year mark. I should think this is also one of the reason why ICA is not very willing to give out more SPR to foreign spouse, unless they see stability in the husband's income and also the couple's marriage.

Bro, can u list down the top few reasons on why Sinkie and VB marriage breakdown within 5 years?

[Peacock29]

Originally Posted by Bigkuss

Bro ...
talking abt marriage breakup .... whats the damage ..
Will she request share in hdb even if shes an foreigner?

Curious coz my parents wants me married .... or atlesast get an
grandchildren of my blood Hahahaha ....

So breakup in 2 years is ok if she can give me a kid ....
My patents Dont want adopted kid ... still old school of thought mah .... want one of my blood Hahahaha....

She can claim anything you acquired after marriage. All assets (house, car, cash etc) gotten after marriage are considered matrimonial assets. Damage? See length of marriage. And other contributions that your wife had made for family. if wife is housewife also considered "contributed" to family hor.

HDB flat must be sold after your divorce and court (or both of you decide/discuss AMONG yourself) shall decide how much you and wife get from the abovementioned i had said.
UNLESS
One party take over the HDB flat, either you are above 35 years old
OR
Take over ownership with your child as family nucleus. But wife have to agree. and most prob you have to pay her for her "share" in a flat.

[Golden question]

Let me share with bros here on how i so call 'impress' my wife then girlfriend few years back.

Before marry,i highlight to her that,

i am a normal sg man with a decent job
i cant give her any monthly income to support her mom in vietnam
Dont think that marry to singapore will surely get singapore citizenship
Dont expect me to contribute things like buy house in vietnam for your family
Dont think that is easy to land a job in singapore
Is not easy to live in a foreign country with no friends or family member with u
Etc

All this i make clear to her,the main purpose is not to scare her off but let her know that is the 'price' for marrying me.Well if she able to take it,then we can marry if not then is best we stick to friends

The problem with some sg man is they always agreed on what their wife want before marry and after marry start to become a problem that grow bigger until they cannot satisfy their wife request,quarrel then lead to divorce and worst still have a kid.

Some will let their foreign wife know good things to marry to singapore and avoid some things that come for the price of marrying a foreign spouse whom she cant work when first came

Well maybe i am the opposite or more pratical type whereby i dont really know how to impress her by buying things everytime she want or makes her happy but i know i will take care of her with a decent living

I so call 'impress' her with the real life and who i am.If she love me,she will accept what i say and marry me if not,is fine with me

Everybody have different thinking and they come from different culture,whatever intention a foreign wife might have to marry a sg man,ultimately my duty is to let her know and to be fair to her

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Peacock29

Bro, can u list down the top few reasons on why Sinkie and VB marriage breakdown within 5 years?

5 main reasons..

1. money no enough...so long you cannot give her enough money...she will have to work...sometimes even work illegal to earn money...especially former WL..

2. difference in culture...hubby dun understand Viet culture...bx cannot accept or understand Sing culture...

3. lack of communication...wrong frequency...both cannot communicate well...in each other language...

4. cannot live with in laws...the in laws looked down on the bx...so created alot of unhappiness and too stressful...sure she will go back to Vn more often to escape loneliness...

5. extra marital...still continue to see ex-bf...or commit adultery...

any bros to add any more...

[Golden question]

Originally Posted by SingViet

If any one of you pay some attention, there are many marriages between VB and Sinkie man breaking down barely 2 years after marriage. Things get worse by the 4th year mark. Not many marriages can last beyond the 5 year mark. I should think this is also one of the reason why ICA is not very willing to give out more SPR to foreign spouse, unless they see stability in the husband's income and also the couple's marriage.

Mine is 5 years 3 months exlclude dating days,Master singviet,mine is almost half compare to yours,u think will last hahaha

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Golden question

Mine is 5 years 3 months exlclude dating days,Master singviet,mine is almost half compare to yours,u think will last hahaha

haha...you already soaked your hair wet...just have to continue...i always say...only time will tell....why dun you allow that...

[KangTuo]

I share mine..

Originally Posted by SingViet

I have been reading in amazement how various sinkie brudders here have been:
a. rushing to get officially married to a vb
Many sinkie man think that getting married to them fast means saving up on commercial sex, this is totally wrong

good catch so fast fast marry before more suitor come.
SV, what make you come out such comment?
seasoned chiongster will say everyday eat rice is boring.. must eat pho, hu tieu at times... they will never save on commercial sex. unless the sinkie man 1st come out to play and get hooked.

b. buying gold and jewellery to please them
My wife have been with me for over 9 years, i bought some gold for her when we got married, but sold them off when i was damm broke 2 years after marriage. For the last 7 years, i have only bought my wife small diamonds on 2 occasions. When she wanted go get gold, i will disapprove. Its really stupid to buy them lots of gold as it will land up in their mother's hand and get sold off.

I only buy diamond for ROM and gold for wedding. Thats all.... my bx more practical... she goes for $$$ the 4 gold i bought at wedding, my bx changed 2 to white gold/diamond to wear daily. The other 2.. i never check... also don't bother.

c. working hard to move into new house and even worried about little details such as a Welcome Back Home signage!
its good to be romantic, but better to be more practical. No matter how romantic one can be, the VB will still go away if you cannot feed her well .

i am working hard to get a new house to move in with my bx. In the meantime, stay with parents as HDB took sooo long to process the paperwork for the transfer of my house to my ex-wife...
little romantic details? nah.. my bx very practical.

Let me just list a few things here that is Guarantee to make ur life with ur VB into a big FAILURE (and not success).

1. Give them as much money as they ask for.
I normally give my MIL 2 million VND a month, but have not given her any since 6 months ago as she makes me TL. Just last week, sent her 5 million VND for Mid Autumn festival, but i know i will not send her any for the next few months ago. No way can anyone satisfy these VB and their family's crave for money. Save for your future and educate your VB to think for you and your children.

I give as much as my bx asked for.. $150 ---> $200 ---> $300 monthly when not married yet. Now still continue give $300 but is to her parents monthly. One of the day, she auto tell me that she told her parents that after give birth, we will only give $300 once every few months. Her parents in province don't need so much money. Bro and sis also support. One old man in USA also support her parents as they helped him long long time ago..

Once my MIL fall sick and need go for operation.. my bx also never ask for my help. she say that insurance covered a huge portion.

2. Treat them very nice, peel the prawn, open the door, push the chair... etc
My wife peel prawn for me, set table for me for dinner. Its not advisable to treat them the way you will want to treat a Singaporean lady.

The power of VB... make you a king at home. Even when i bring other vb go eat steamboat buffet, I make sure they cook and peel prawns for me.

3. Worry very much about impressing them and letting them know u really care about them and will do whatever they ask u to do.
I do not want to impress my wife nor her family. Its the most stupid thing to let them think you are GOOD and also LOADED. You are digging your own grave if you do that.

I also never impress my wife or anyone of her family. I only make her worry of my ECA.

4. Sending them for various training courses... English, Chinese, Hair dressing... etc etc.
My idea is very simple. If you cannot afford to feed them, then don't marry. But if your wife has certain skills before marrying you, then it may be good for them to work in Singapore to earn their living. I will not want to train my wife up till she's very capable, because its going to be damm dangerous.

I am think of sending my bx for english or chinese language course or cooking classes.... preparing for future. I will never let my wife go out work..anyway no way she can as she got language problem. Her full time work is housewife. I do not need to train my bx.. she is already very capable but no danger posed to me.

5. Being 100% loyal to them beyond any reasonable doubts.
I only started to become very faithful to my wife 6 years after marriage. This was after she showed me her greatest concern and love after i had a major spinal operation. I feel that being faithful works both ways. My wife has earned my trust and thus i give her my assurance.

Till now.. i am loyal but not faithful...bx already accept the fact that i womanize alot... every now and then she will comment that womanizing is my hobby. my bx earned my trust long time ago... she also trusted me alot for few years until I got caught for many things which she now accept the fact that I am a man and man got needs...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Golden question

Mine is 5 years 3 months exlclude dating days,Master singviet,mine is almost half compare to yours,u think will last hahaha

I only 5 months 3 days excluding near 7 years of dating...