Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by Seletar

okok... will think again.. need to pay consultancy fees

pay to who...to me dun need lol...to your gf...hehe...that's what most sinkie willingly do...

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Seletar

Sifu,I have a problem here

i also want to consult sifu here

1) after getting married, i always go home after work. Next morning go back wirk, switch on another handphone, always see vb sms me in the middle if night asking me to go beach. when i reply them handphone no battery no money to reply, they say i xnn.

how can i cheong at night, esp pass midnight to bring vb go hug hug kiss kiss at the beach or ks?

2) sometimes see some nice vb when i go meet bro in jc/gl. got the vb contact but hardly got time to kc time

how can i find chances to sneak out to meet the vb?

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

i also want to consult sifu here

how can i find chances to sneak out to meet the vb?

haha...u better watch out...cat cu...my advice is better stay faithful...u had made a vow to do so...not even 7 years itch yet...or rather 7 mths...

I knew this is not the answer you are looking for...haha...to disappoint you...

[casannova03]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

i also want to consult sifu here

how can i cheong at night, esp pass midnight to bring vb go hug hug kiss kiss at the beach or ks?


how can i find chances to sneak out to meet the vb?

Camp unit activation....have to report back to camp...dunno have allow me to come back tonight or not....bring your SBO, helmet and don your greens and put in car!! LOL!!!

[Greatking]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

i also want to consult sifu here

1) after getting married, i always go home after work. Next morning go back wirk, switch on another handphone, always see vb sms me in the middle if night asking me to go beach. when i reply them handphone no battery no money to reply, they say i xnn.

how can i cheong at night, esp pass midnight to bring vb go hug hug kiss kiss at the beach or ks?

2) sometimes see some nice vb when i go meet bro in jc/gl. got the vb contact but hardly got time to kc time

how can i find chances to sneak out to meet the vb?

Sleeping pills in milk For relaxation....

then u can go kc roi...

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Camp unit activation....have to report back to camp...dunno have allow me to come back tonight or not....bring your SBO, helmet and don your greens and put in car!! LOL!!!

Wa, very good excuse sia. Good suggestion!

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by Greatking

Sleeping pills in milk For relaxation....

then u can go kc roi...

Bad suggestion.

[jackbl]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Camp unit activation....have to report back to camp...dunno have allow me to come back tonight or not....bring your SBO, helmet and don your greens and put in car!! LOL!!!

Sorry... his reservist no need those.... his is stay-out type

[zms1972]

thank for your sharing

[ansonsohna]

Thank you everyone for your response and feedback. I really do appreciate it (and via proxy) I think my brother would too.

I am usually quite flippant when it comes to postings in SBF but in this instance I will adopt a more serious tone as I want to clarify some important pointers. Please do not get offended if it goes against your moral or existing paradigms that you hold with regards to your understanding of a Vietnamese Life Partner.

Reading through the hundreds of pages here in this thread, we know that the prevailing attitude is that having a Viet Life Partner is challenging - but ultimately rewarding if one is able to surmount the obstacles (especially within oneself).

Yes, even as we demonize the Viet girls' proclivities we also celebrate the joys of having such a relationship. To get a relationship going with a Viet gal is not difficult but build it up into Life Partnership is a monumental challenge - probably even more so than having brides of other nationalities.

And you don't need even more obstacles by having to contend with individuals like my brother in trying to take your Life Partnership one step further! Hence although not explicitly expressed, there is a general view of "disapproval" in his getting involved with a married woman.

I would like to point out here that:

1) I may be a newbie when it comes to understanding Viet girls but my brother certainly isn't. He was stationed in Vietnam for four years and he still visits Vietnam nearly every month either for work or social now. He has been involved in several relationship with Viet ladies and has suffered heartbreak even as he enjoyed the ecstasy.

2) Even if you disagree strongly with my brother's involvement with a married woman, do understand that there IS a context whereby he is drawn into the relationship. My posting obviously did not adequately address this. We know that, as a general rule, its better NOT to get involved with a married lady - its almost common sense.

But, as emotions and life circumstances flow, sometimes these things happen. And if it does happen, I do not judge or moralize. For me, this principle applies to everyone, not only to my brother.

3) Although each individual is unique and cannot be pigeon holed, this thread is special because it DOES help one to understand better the cultural, social and economic parameters from where a prospective Viet partner operates from. Its a guide and discussion platform for those who seriously want further their relationship with a Viet gal.

In this instance therefore, my brother's situation can only further add to the understanding process as it comes from another perspective - a third party in a marriage (of which there is not many within this thread)

4) I have mentioned here in thread earlier that I am involved with a Vietnamese Fuck Buddy who "mother hens" a mini Viet community. I didn't elaborate as I don't want to ruffle feathers. Through her, I see through a unique prism into the mindset of a Viet gal residing in Singapore as I am her sounding board and confiding ear. As such, I know of the "grey" areas, the indiscretions, petty quarrels, the Free lancing in order to get extra income and supplement the allowances given by their ongsa ..... I even know the intimate sex lives of many of these girls.

5) We (meaning my Brother and I) do apprehend that, as a general rule, Viet gals view marriage a little differently from us. Its almost like a patron relationship. You are the conduit for a better life than what she is experiencing in Vietnam.

Its almost an exchange of you providing for her materially and in return she gives you Tender Loving (and hopefully some degree of loyalty). The minute you fail to deliver, is the time she starts looking for alternate patrons.

Yes, Viet gals nearly never burns their bridges. Old boyfriends and ex husbands are always just round the corner. And ready to play surrogate should a VIet gal's significant other not deliver his end of his bargain.

We are lucky that we operate in a society that allows us to eke a living through our 'credentials' (more or less). For these girls, in order to further themselves, it is the use of "relationships" that is the modus operandi. The pathway to social mobility upwards is nearly always how they can KC and then parlay this KC into social and monetary capital. Hence we do not blame a Viet girl for always being on a lookout for something and someone better - that is her insurance for her future.

6) So knowing all these but yet my brother got involved with a married girl and invested his emotion wholly. Obviously there must be a context right?

Hope you don't take offence to this posting at any level. And I hope that my participation here can help a little in navigating the way to a better understanding of a Viet Life Partner.

PS; I am still surprised at the ruling that you cannot divorce a Viet girl before three years in Singapore - even if both parties consent to it!!!!!

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by ansonsohna

Thank you everyone for your response and feedback. I really do appreciate it (and via proxy) I think my brother would too.

----
Hope you don't take offence to this posting at any level. And I hope that my participation here can help a little in navigating the way to a better understanding of a Viet Life Partner.

PS; I am still surprised at the ruling that you cannot divorce a Viet girl before three years in Singapore - even if both parties consent to it!!!!!

what a well written forum....that's more like it that you had written...even though I dun condone relationship with a married woman...I had no say in whatever anybody likes to do...basically none of my biz...

see sinkie court view a divorce and marriage seriously...first sinkie man marry foreigner wife and then quickly apply wife to be LTVSP or PR...when want to divorce also want to do fast...who want it fast...is your bro gf...not the gal legal hubby...so long court follow the law to operate...who are you to criticise the law and system...do we want to live in a city with lawlessness...why are you surprised...formerly to apply hdb flat need to wait more than 3 yrs...so 3 yrs is not long...court hope couples can remain married and sort out their differences...you meant your bro will want to marry this gal after she is legally divorced...haha good luck trying to apply anything such as LTSVP or PR for her in sinkie...her record is dimmed...if I am your bro I will be damn worried marrying such a woman...

btw,...since your bro is travelling to Vietnam monthly....why dun he look for a decent gal who had a clean record and good background...then he will not have such headache...of course also none of my biz if he insists on this married woman...

above just my opinion...

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by ansonsohna

Thank you everyone for your response and feedback. I really do appreciate it (and via proxy) I think my brother would too.

5) We (meaning my Brother and I) do apprehend that, as a general rule, Viet gals view marriage a little differently from us. Its almost like a patron relationship. You are the conduit for a better life than what she is experiencing in Vietnam.

Its almost an exchange of you providing for her materially and in return she gives you Tender Loving (and hopefully some degree of loyalty). The minute you fail to deliver, is the time she starts looking for alternate patrons.

Yes, Viet gals nearly never burns their bridges. Old boyfriends and ex husbands are always just round the corner. And ready to play surrogate should a VIet gal's significant other not deliver his end of his bargain.

We are lucky that we operate in a society that allows us to eke a living through our 'credentials' (more or less). For these girls, in order to further themselves, it is the use of "relationships" that is the modus operandi. The pathway to social mobility upwards is nearly always how they can KC and then parlay this KC into social and monetary capital. Hence we do not blame a Viet girl for always being on a lookout for something and someone better - that is her insurance for her future.

Hope you don't take offence to this posting at any level. And I hope that my participation here can help a little in navigating the way to a better understanding of a Viet Life Partner.

PS; I am still surprised at the ruling that you cannot divorce a Viet girl before three years in Singapore - even if both parties consent to it!!!!!

Bro, 1st of all, thanks for sharing.

Though I would agree to some point u mentioned, but still have some I disagreed with.

Yes, to some of them we singaporeans may be a floatation device out of their current situations in vietnam but not all Viet girls use "relationships" to move up the "social" ladder and not all viet girls think that marriage is a transaction. Those that think these way are those who have a motive, a materialistic or monentary focused motive.

I have know a couple of examples of viet girls sticking through thick and thin with their husbands and will not leave their husbands bcos of sickness and poverty. And they are singaporean husbands i'm talking about. After yrs, they still have a loving and happy family with kids.

And the only ladder I see that they can move up, is the social ladder back in vn, not in singapore, here they are still regarded as "third class" population.

Sometimes, we may be too close to someone or some situation that we may be influenced by them without us realising. Seeing the big picture is needed.

Bro Hurricane did brought up a good point, as yur brother has been travelling in and out of VN, why not consider getting a decent gal there? At least not so much headache now and in the future.

Above are just my 2 dongs. Sorry if I have offended u or any other bros with my 2 dongs.

Having said my share, your brother's decision is still ultimately his and he should not be influenced by any posts here or anyone. Do keep us posted with any updates on the course of action that yur brother is taking. (Sorry lah it me that is kapo lah. )

[lglg666]

Originally Posted by casannova03

Camp unit activation....have to report back to camp...dunno have allow me to come back tonight or not....bring your SBO, helmet and don your greens and put in car!! LOL!!!

Power

Dauly 6 points to share/return/exchange

[vietboy]

Originally Posted by lglg666

Power

Dauly 6 points to share/return/exchange

??

[Seletar]

Originally Posted by vietboy

Bro, 1st of all, thanks for sharing.

Though I would agree to some point u mentioned, but still have some I disagreed with.

Yes, to some of them we singaporeans may be a floatation device out of their current situations in vietnam but not all Viet girls use "relationships" to move up the "social" ladder and not all viet girls think that marriage is a transaction. Those that think these way are those who have a motive, a materialistic or monentary focused motive.

I have know a couple of examples of viet girls sticking through thick and thin with their husbands and will not leave their husbands bcos of sickness and poverty. And they are singaporean husbands i'm talking about. After yrs, they still have a loving and happy family with kids.

And the only ladder I see that they can move up, is the social ladder back in vn, not in singapore, here they are still regarded as "third class" population.

Sometimes, we may be too close to someone or some situation that we may be influenced by them without us realising. Seeing the big picture is needed.

Bro Hurricane did brought up a good point, as yur brother has been travelling in and out of VN, why not consider getting a decent gal there? At least not so much headache now and in the future.

Above are just my 2 dongs. Sorry if I have offended u or any other bros with my 2 dongs.

Having said my share, your brother's decision is still ultimately his and he should not be influenced by any posts here or anyone. Do keep us posted with any updates on the course of action that yur brother is taking. (Sorry lah it me that is kapo lah. )

Who don't want a decent girl ?
Love is stupidity,
The difference between love and stupidity is as slim a sheet of paper..