Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[RJ2004]

wah read so much sibei headache trying to understand...

i think its a mistake by retsoor to lump confucian beliefs with chinese. no doubt confucian thinking comes from china but where it is practised has nothing to do with china. think of it in a rhetoric way, buddhism comes from india but if you practise it in china will people call you indian?

[retsoor]

again, I would like to ask for forgiveness for all the nonsense I already wrote, and may write in future.

unfortunately I didn´t proofread my post so that it could withstand academic scrutiny. However, while I definitely could have clarified my opinions in greater detail, by writing "chinese and confucian" I meant just that - and. When I say "naemlo is handsome and rich" it does not mean I believe he is rich because he is handsome, or vice versa. I do not think that vietnamese are "chinese" because they are "confucian" or vice versa. Anyway, vietnamese cultural identity is, as far as it exists, is mix of a lot more ingredients, however I did not intend to write a scholarly treaty of any sort, neither on on the influences of taoism and champa culture on khmer descendants in the mekong region, nor on traces of african tribalism in hmong culture. While all these topics without doubt merit further exploration, my comments were really just half-assed, my intention was just to share the article on virginity...

no one here in this thread seems to be interested in discussing virginity though

Originally Posted by RJ2004

I think its a mistake by retsoor to lump confucian beliefs with chinese. no doubt confucian thinking comes from china but where it is practised has nothing to do with china. think of it in a rhetoric way, buddhism comes from india but if you practise it in china will people call you indian?

[SureScore]

Here another sad story.

http://sbfsg.agency/adult-d...adulterer.html

[anathem]

Originally Posted by retsoor

You write eloquently (surprisingly so for this forum), you are taking a keen interest in this discussion...

...so forgive me if my initial post came across as somewhat simplistic and essentialist, that's not my way of thinking at all.

I may have (once more) underestimated this forum, I didn't expect to meet cultural critics like you here...

Hi Bro retsoor,

Thanks very much for your points and your very kind and flattering comments. Much appreciated. I am pretty much a persistent lurker and an occasional contributer but if my humble comments or biased views are welcome, I am actually more than willing to share them wholeheartedly, provided that I manage to find the time.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Not in this forum? But why? While membership of this community is fluid and constantly shifting, I agree that one should never underestimate one's fellow cheongsters. After all, you have folks that can offer you timely and pertinent legal advice, sell you a penthouse with a most fetching view of Surfers Paradise, or draw up a comprehensive personal investment plan for you with a customized and diversified portfolio to work your money harder, all around here. So what's a trigger-happy, loudmouthed wannabe cultural critic? Hardly worth his weight in salt, to be honest.

We are all guilty of gross simplifications and overly essentialist pronouncements. There is nothing to begrudge or forgive. And whatever it is, I was also really quite taken aback by how Confucian and Sinicized Vietnam appeared to be when I first visited the country many years ago, even after reading so much about the country and its people. The only other country outside of Greater China that I've personally experienced and that I'd say is even more "Confucian" in every rigid sense (and perhaps this observation stands true even if you lump in the entire Sinosphere) is probably South Korea. Nothing wrong with recognizing the common threads in all of us. Why care about roots if they cannot be routes to understanding? But to be honest, I can also see a similar (or even greater) level of notional familiarity being directed elsewhere. We do have a personal duty to resist the temptation of digesting the world through an essentialized way of viewing cultures and identities. Strangely or not, I do find the greatest personal affinity with the lifestyles, consumption choices and socio-political orientations of certain individuals and urban communities out there in the rest of the developed economies (even in places that "our leaders" tell us are as "different" from "us" as birds are from bees) so maybe there is a certain degree of Middle Class First World conceit implicit, I'll have to admit nonetheless. Heh, I would like to see myself as a global citizen but what does that mean and entail? Especially when notions of citizenry and civil activism are so tied up with the whole ideological construct of the nation-state and an international political system built to reify this "reality".

Bro, your attempt to introduce a debate on the issue of virginity is certainly laudable. I have yet to go through the paper (available at the link you posted) in any detail so I can't really comment. I'm sure it makes a delicious read anyway. Probably save it for a cold rainy night with some cheap Thai "whiskey". Suffice to say, virginity is a social construct sited in specific historical or culturally-specific contexts and hardly an universal ideal. It is really a patriarchal device that reveals quite a bit about male notions (and fantasies) about female subjectivity and sexuality. I don't think this is just airy fairy ivory tower wank because these male desires are actually transformed into justifications for a wide variety of oppressive social structures and mechanisms of control, most of which ultimately have more to do with male inadequacies and an unfettered desire for power and ownership. Just think about how an idealized belief of unblemished womanhood can be used (and are still used) to defend and excuse plain bloody murder in countless examples of "honor" killings. Interestingly, the weird sense of tragedy mixed with humor that has greeted the story of the adulterous Vietnamese woman (see post above) also demonstrates to some extent the double standards and hypocrisy of prevalent norms of femininity, sexuality and family, especially the way these are mediated through the narrow influence of the dominant male gaze.

Maybe one day we should have an ex-WL spouse of a Samster bombard the forum with posts imploring the world to help her locate her philandering deserter of a husband. Now wouldn't that be interesting for a change? Tragedy is rarely black and white. And you really wouldn't be able to feel it in your veins and loins until you are truly stuck in it.

Hahaha, please pardon my verbiage, will you all?

Gosh, seems like I've just been thinking aloud once too many a time yet again. Anyway, thanks for taking your time to go through my demented words. Have fun and see ya.

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by SureScore

Here another sad story.

http://sbfsg.agency/adult-d...adulterer.html

I posted this the other day. The video is back on.

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

First step taken. Filled in form14 and send in...
cross finger, pray hard

Originally Posted by KangTuo

The ICA say that they will reply through slow mail.
everyday go home eagerly open my letterbox to see if there is any letter for ICA but I see only handphone bills, utility bills, credit cards bills

Nothing make me happy when opening letterbox...

the slow mail is really really slow

after waited so long (3 mths) and never pester them for answer
finally at the begining of this month, recieved a letter...

content:
"After considering your appeal.............. we regret........... not approved"

just applying for some form of clearance for her to be here a few days also not approved

thinking of next step...

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

after waited so long (3 mths) and never pester them for answer
finally at the begining of this month, recieved a letter...

content:
"After considering your appeal.............. we regret........... not approved"

just applying for some form of clearance for her to be here a few days also not approved

thinking of next step...

Sorry to hear that...already said before, you need alot of patience dealing with this matter...just write appeal letter lor...

[leecs]

I feel for you, kang tuo... Hope everything works well for you..

[Sha_Gua75]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

thinking of next step...

In the mean time while u thinking of the next step....what u can do is keep apply or keep sending them letter to seek approval....fail then apply again. keep doing...dont stop

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

after waited so long (3 mths) and never pester them for answer
finally at the begining of this month, recieved a letter...

content:
"After considering your appeal.............. we regret........... not approved"

just applying for some form of clearance for her to be here a few days also not approved

thinking of next step...

Treat ICA as a VB, just continue to apply or appeal. Don't ever give up.

[chanyboy]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

after waited so long (3 mths) and never pester them for answer
finally at the begining of this month, recieved a letter...

content:
"After considering your appeal.............. we regret........... not approved"

just applying for some form of clearance for her to be here a few days also not approved

thinking of next step...

well..at least she wishes to come...

[SingViet]

Like i mention before, its really difficult for any VN gal (who has been blacklisted before) to re-enter Singapore again. But Bro KT, at least you tried, no regrets.

[SingViet]

Originally Posted by SureScore

Treat ICA as a VB, just continue to apply or appeal. Don't ever give up.

Pardon me, but unless you got something new to offer to ICA, i.e. new points to support your application, or else its no use to keep appealing. If ICA practise such flow of APPROVAL after constant appealing, then it will lose its credibility and authority and everybody will start to do constant appealing.

Almost all countries are similiar in immigration matters, they welcome tourists that can bring them income, not those that bring vices to their community.

[Shoot To Target]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Almost all countries are similiar in immigration matters, they welcome tourists that can bring them income, not those that bring vices to their community.

Bro Singviet u r right. I saw alot of the VN gals arrive at the budget terminal n were ask to change their tickets to go back. Pity them Some r very sexy but they like to scold each other mother cb.

[SureScore]

Originally Posted by SingViet

Pardon me, but unless you got something new to offer to ICA, i.e. new points to support your application, or else its no use to keep appealing. If ICA practise such flow of APPROVAL after constant appealing, then it will lose its credibility and authority and everybody will start to do constant appealing.

Almost all countries are similiar in immigration matters, they welcome tourists that can bring them income, not those that bring vices to their community.

I am sure Bro KT will have more appealing stories to appeal. Over time, he will come up with better ideas and stories.

I was reading the thread "Foreigner wife", some of them took 1.5 years or longer to get approved what ever they are appealing. So don't give up Bro KT.