Understanding Vietnamese Life Partner

[volcano]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Bro if you dont mind sharing, how much did you spend for your wedding in vietnam? All in all, my bx and family arranged the wedding in their hometown, cost me around another 10K odd? Includes photo shoot, dinner, "4 dian jin" etc haha everything in vietnam doesnt seems so cheap afterall!

i am kind of surprise that u held ur wedding at the country side and its a dinner...usually its kind of wedding brunch at the country side.unless ur wedding is in the restaurant of the province city,if its at country side where u set up own tentage or in the house compound,u can have a sumptous brunch base on country side standard at 1.5 mills per table.

expensive or not depends on how many tables u held and how much jewellery u bought for ur wife..there are many cases where the gold is bought just for show,the gold will be sold and money return back to the groom after the wedding.

since u already give a hefty sum of $10k dowry to ur in laws...who gets the ang pow for the dinner?

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

your bx family arranged for you... so it is correct that you spent 10K odd.. because they add on tips for themselve

mine is as below...

Thanks bro! very comprehensive! Eh yeah i think the ang baos my in-laws keep. My in laws say not many villagers gave ang baos, so im like making a loss, but i tot its a like a party and villagers not very rich so i just treat it as a treat to all of them for coming to attend a joyous event!

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by FireShark

I had just married this July but I had spend total of 10K. All the ang paos are kept by my mother in law. My 10K expenditure include

Photo Taking and Videocam;
10 pre Wedding Tables in the Night;
40 Wedding Tables in the morning;
Karaoke Session at Wedding;
Jewellery for my Bx;

I don't know if it expensive but felt the the food is tasty and the wedding photo is pretty and good. Hope this information is sufficient for you

congrats bro fireshark! Unfortunately, my wedding photos turns out funny. They photoshop my face damn fair (like xiao bai lian) and colored my brows damn thick plus so coloring to my lips. I felt abit like "la bi xiao xin". But at least my bx looks good instead haha food wise, ok only.

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

The older he is, the longer he will sleep.... takes time..

can don't use yao lan.. it will be better for you. in case your kid get toooo used to it.

your bx dislike staying in room whole day. but did you tell her to stay in room whole day? only bring baby to room to let him sleep then she can come out of the room liao mah..

Yeah but everynight like 12 midnight he starts screeching and crying non-stop, we have to coax him to sleep, sleepless nights.

No la bro, i told her to bring the baby to the room when hes going to sleep. She then replied me say shes always in the room cos the baby always sleep every 2 hrs. Our baby like quite spoiled leh, refused to sleep if hes not being put inside the "yao lan" and must "yao" him constantly, once stop he will wake up. We dont know what to do with him too. Im hoping hes only like this when hes a baby...

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

what business? you got share?
so now that you sponsor your in loaw to do business, it means they are self sustain right? do you still need to send monthly allowance to them?

My in law got a small shop like "zhi char" la and occasionally plant some veggies lo. I have been to their house before, like countryside farmers life. I have no share in the business, thats why i gave her mum the lumpsum to do business hopeful that will be self sustained. I used to give her $200/mth so she can send over to her family but since im not working now. They never ask me for money that often..

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

after 3 months baby can be put to a routine...dun let baby sleep too much in the day...let baby be active and play with baby by talking to baby...let baby sleep only after a bath or freshen up...create an environment similar to hospital by wrapping baby and sleep in the dark...like i mentioned after 7pm never let baby sleep...keep baby awake till 10pm and clean baby with warm wet towel...change clothes and diaper...full feed and let baby sleep in the dark no lights on...at nite even if baby tries to wake up by crying, never get up and feed...after one to two weeks...baby knew nobody bother and no feed...baby will sleep through out...so next feed is 6am...all have good nite rest...then you can make more babies too...haha...

Thanks bro Hurricane88, i'll try your method once i convince my bx. My cousin also advice me some methods but my bx like not very happy and not very receptive about adopting new methods.. She say its our first kid, so must love him & carry him when he cry.sighhhhh......... wish me luck!

[shysaint]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Thanks bro Hurricane88, i'll try your method once i convince my bx. My cousin also advice me some methods but my bx like not very happy and not very receptive about adopting new methods.. She say its our first kid, so must love him & carry him when he cry.sighhhhh......... wish me luck!

All babies are Different ....

My 3 daughters when Baby are Total Different in Behavior.

My 3rd is the most different n difficult to handle, guess is with the Vietnamese gene ... . Now reaching 2 n half years old than manage to settle down n easier to handle.

Importantly ... Understand your baby n Adopt what's best for the baby ... Be Patience ... Be tolerance ... Do not Rush to change how your baby behave ...

Remember wife n baby belongs to you n no one else ... Learn what's best for them ... What's good for others may not be god for you ...

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by volcano

i am kind of surprise that u held ur wedding at the country side and its a dinner...usually its kind of wedding brunch at the country side.unless ur wedding is in the restaurant of the province city,if its at country side where u set up own tentage or in the house compound,u can have a sumptous brunch base on country side standard at 1.5 mills per table.

expensive or not depends on how many tables u held and how much jewellery u bought for ur wife..there are many cases where the gold is bought just for show,the gold will be sold and money return back to the groom after the wedding.

since u already give a hefty sum of $10k dowry to ur in laws...who gets the ang pow for the dinner?

Hi bro, paiseh i nv eleborate, its like brunch party with the villagers. In the night dinner another small party, like you said its like tentage. I didnt get back the ang pow, my in-law kept them and said most of the villagers didnt give ang bao. :S

[littleleroy]

Originally Posted by shysaint

All babies are Different ....

My 3 daughters when Baby are Total Different in Behavior.

My 3rd is the most different n difficult to handle, guess is with the Vietnamese gene ... . Now reaching 2 n half years old than manage to settle down n easier to handle.

Importantly ... Understand your baby n Adopt what's best for the baby ... Be Patience ... Be tolerance ... Do not Rush to change how your baby behave ...

Remember wife n baby belongs to you n no one else ... Learn what's best for them ... What's good for others may not be god for you ...

Thanks bro, i will learn to be a better father. Im sure your daughters will become pretty ladies when they grow up with both of your good genes.

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Thanks bro Hurricane88, i'll try your method once i convince my bx. My cousin also advice me some methods but my bx like not very happy and not very receptive about adopting new methods.. She say its our first kid, so must love him & carry him when he cry.sighhhhh......... wish me luck!

good luck to you...many parents dun understand they are not ready and face with plenty of stress with parenthood...this can be the downfall and break out of many happy marriages...so take care and good luck...you need good feng shui for family planning...

now dun you love your parents even more knowing how difficult they raised you...worst for single parent...I salute all parents...may they have good health and live a fruitful life...

[S.B.Y.1]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

now dun you love your parents even more knowing how difficult they raised you...worst for single parent...I salute all parents...may they have good health and live a fruitful life...

Amin to that

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

She say its our first kid, so must love him & carry him when he cry.sighhhhh......... wish me luck!

Show that you also love your bx and wanted her to love your child more.... get a dosmetic helper if you can afford

[KangTuo]

Originally Posted by Hurricane88

good luck to you...many parents dun understand they are not ready and face with plenty of stress with parenthood...this can be the downfall and break out of many happy marriages...

I do not feel any stress leh... night time i sleep like a log. Only my bx wake up in the middle of the night to feed my baby

I worry my bx got stressed out with baby and house chores, I get her a domestic helper so she can concentrate on baby only. I also got more free time to idle at home

[Hurricane88]

Originally Posted by KangTuo

I do not feel any stress leh... night time i sleep like a log. Only my bx wake up in the middle of the night to feed my baby

I worry my bx got stressed out with baby and house chores, I get her a domestic helper so she can concentrate on baby only. I also got more free time to idle at home

haha...at least you are well prepared for parenthood...see the diff...you can afford a maid...

I can vouch that Viet gals are one of the best mothers in this world...

[volcano]

Originally Posted by littleleroy

Hi bro, paiseh i nv eleborate, its like brunch party with the villagers. In the night dinner another small party, like you said its like tentage. I didnt get back the ang pow, my in-law kept them and said most of the villagers didnt give ang bao. :S

sorry to be too straight bro,but seems like ur in laws took u for a ride and they cant be trusted.i have been in Vietnam for a period of time already..i attend and also help out in the wedding countless times..its true that people in country side might be poorer if compare to people in big Cities,but trust me,in kinds of calculative,they are as smart as people in big Cities.they know who are those that can afford ang pow and who cannot.every guest invited will have an invitation card send to them in an envelope with their name on it..that envelope is meant to be the ang pow pocket so that the receiving side will know each guest give how much money.people in country side usually gives between 50k-500k depending on their relationship with u.for my own case during my engagement,my wife's aunties of 10 each 500k except for 2 which give 300k bcos not that well to do..majority of guests turn up give 100k while those having a closer relation with the family gives 200k.did also receive a handful of 50k.so from this figure u can roughly calculate how much ang pow money ur in laws collected base on the number of guests invited.


i am not sure when u married ur wife,but i presume should be just within this 2 years..$10k of dowry is around 160 mills Vnd if base on exchange rate 2 years ago.plus in the ang pow money and money which they ownself pocketed(which i am very sure they did),ur in laws will have about 200 mills Vnd..this amount is more then enough to set up a zi char style shop in Hcmc so not to mention back in country side..and since u have already given them a hefty sum for them to do a business for their own living,there is no need for u to give them monthly allowance again.maybe just a token of $100-$200 out of good will on CNY.

if ur wife insist on giving monthly allowance to ur in laws,then its time for u to explain the situation to ur wife.