[be gone]

Hi all,

feeling paranoid over the past 2 days and finally went for the hiv test on Sat.
These two days have been the longest of my life. Wasn't able to concentrate in the office and thinking of a lot of things. Once I am back home, I would spend hours seaching for information on hiv and looking back if I had any obvious symptons back then.Btw, my last dangerous exposure was somewhere in Feb last year


It's really killing me as each second was like days, each minute was like months and each hour was like years to me. I was going insane. I realise that should the worst happened, it will be a situation that I cannot handle and definitely I will just break down.

Went up to the second floor, paid $20, fill up a form and waited. Meet up with angela and told her my dangerous encounters, 1 count of unprotected sex and 1 count of a condom breakage. Told her of my mental state is very unstable and it's killing me because this one test, the result will be conclusive, either it's a sure positive or a sure negativeve since I have fulfilled the window period. There is no more a second chance.


Got a small prick on the middle finger and drip a drop of blood on the test strip. Went back outside the waiting area, as I await my sentence to be passed on me. To me, it's already a fxxx feeling to be judged by others and I feel even worse when I know I may be put on death row within 10-15 minutes.

My number was called up! Time's up I guess, the moment of truth will soon befall on me. Will I be truly reborn or truly be gone. What am i going to tell my loved ones? Will I just break donw and go insane? These are some of the thoughts that went through my mind.

It's angela again and she told me, I am safe and I can step out of here and have a peace of my mind.

Life is already short so don't make it shorter,
Life is precious to lose to a damn virus.


My message to brothers, wear a condom before your didi go cheong in the public toilet since he wouldn't (and neither will you) know the type of enemy he encounter in the public toilet.

After this ordeal, a though came to me and say: why not let those newbies who wanted to start cheonging go through the hiv testing experience so that end of the day, they will be aware of the stress level they have to go through and the courage they have to muster to go for the test.

Only then will they be more clear of what they are getting themslves into the commercial sex scence. Just hope that it's not just joy, pleasure and your didi feels shiok that one is getting into when he goes into commercial sex, but also the stress and phobia that one has to cope as well. If you can't you would have gone insane while waiting to go for the first test (3 month window) and then a second round (for the the 6 month period.)Only then the results will be very much concclusive.