Sexless Marriage

[Killingbird]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

[Crayon321]

Bro, maybe bring her out on a date if you can ask your parent to look after your children? Maybe a good meal and some wine might help to spark things a little? (:

[larue]

男人不坏,女人不爱.

[LHamilton]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

Sounds exactly like mine, you're not alone. Have you suggested marriage counselling? If she refuse to, just drop the D bomb on her to test water. No sex is a valid reason for divorce. If she refuses, you know what to do. Loving your kids is one thing, stuck in a sexless marriage its another.

I highly suggest you keep up with your efforts of being faithful until all is over. Take care.

[iceman1314]

Bro, have you tried taking her out on a date? Like during your courtship days when you tried ways and means for her to drop her panties? Cause what you are doing is part of being a married couple, she might feel that the spark is gone, so sex becomes a chore instead of something enjoyable. Try taking her out, send flowers to her, wine and dine her like how you use too.

[al8055]

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

[Annoymous]

I applaud you for being faithful. Keep it up bro. Agree with going counselling. I do know of couples whose wife doesn't mind hubby going out to satisfy needs (pure commercial) because the wife just don't have the drive.

[java_cool]

Bro, my 2 cents worth ... just like us men, women also have sexual urges ... maybe its time to have a heart-to-heart talk with her as husband and wife.

Find out what's really going on ... sex in a marriage is necessary to sustain a relationship and based on what you ranted on being faithful, doing household chores, etc. you need to sort this out.

Do not suffer in silence bro. Talk it out, tell her what are your needs as a normal man and assess the situation after. Everyone deserves to be happy.

Been in a similar situation before, do something about it as you need & deserve to be happy and content in your life's journey. Don't wait until its too late for regrets and find out that you wasted so much time being sad or discontent.

We cannot control everything in life but we can control on how to make the most of whatever life has to offer us.

[asoyatu]

Good advices to TS to talk things out, get help, etc
TS is not alone here. Heard of stories that some women really do fuck up this department at some point of her life for different reasons.

[Rickey]

I applaud you for being faithful. Keep it up bro. Agree with going counselling. I do know of couples whose wife doesn't mind hubby going out to satisfy needs (pure commercial) because the wife just don't have the drive.
These bros r so lucky to hv such understanding wives :);)...givs them the freedom to enjoy sex with other women :):o...v. hard to find...prolly 1 in a million

[PandaFluff]

First of all well done for getting it off your chest. That first step is the hardest as you constantly tell yourself maybe tomorrow will be better.

I understand the situation you are in as mine is the same minus the kids. I would like to give you a couple of words of advise before thinking of getting a divorce.

Try speaking to her. Tell her how you feel tell her you want to be intimate with her. Also find out why she does not want sex. Their will be a reason. Maybe it is physiological with her. Maybe it is painful or she easily gets UTI's whatever the reason is whether you like it or not work on that. If you have done your part and nothing has changed then I would seriously discuss divorce with her.

Unfortunately in today world we dont communicate enough and tend to drift apart without any solid reason.

I also take my hat off to you for being faithful. This should be a huge plus point for your wife as any man that does not have sex for a year will start looking else where.

You sound like a genuine nice person and good husband. Hang in and be strong!!!

[Nearmello]

I applaud you for your restraint and effort in staying faithful. thumbs up.
Like what other bro have said, have a talk with her.
But my advice would be from the love making POV instead of a relationship POV.

Even though you are a married couple, you still need to "seduce" your wife.
Do stuff which surprise her, not in the buy-her-a-pleasant-gift, but in the thrilling exciting sense. Do stuff she has nvr thought you normally do, let her feel that there is part of you she has yet to explore.
Also, Sexual arousal depends a lot on physical attractiveness. maybe consider getting yourself into better physical shape if you are not. Read some books about seduction if you think it helps. Dont let your marriage become stale by the mundane stuff in life.

You have done your duty well as the provider, but dont forget to play the part of the seducer as well.!

[mrnakal]

Bro TS, i've been in your exact situation before. It was very frustrating when you want sex and your wife reject. Trust me, i know how it feels. At one point i was asking myself, am i not worthy for her? What do i lack? What is not enough for her?

What you can do like what some bros here suggest, bring her on a date, shower with love like how you wanna get her to be your gf. If this doesn't work, try talking to her what you feel throught whatapp. Yes, that is what i did.. Cause some women don't like talking face to face. They can't express or don't know how to express when looking at you. Maybe shy. I might be wrong on this, but it worth the try.

Thankfully it works, at least for me.

Hang in there brother.

[hi2u]

Thanks for sharing your story bro.
Kudos to you for not wrecking your marriage. This is a sex forum so I leave it up to your discretion how long will you hold it in.

Communication is key. HTHT with your wife about it. Sex does improve and spices up the relationship :)

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

[soulcase55]

Can understand your frustrations TS, read many stories and heard some from my close friends as well.

Imho, divorce shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mind(due to kids) so I suggest trying other solutions first before resorting to that.

From my experience with girls(not that many but I would say I understand them quite a bit), when you say have sex with her, is it just the usual penetrate straight away kinda of love making session, or involves some foreplay?

The reason why I ask is that I feel that sex should be a two way thing- satisfying each others needs. I focus a lot on foreplay before the actual thing to set the stage right and do my giving and receiving part well.

Eg, I love BJ so after receiving from my partner, I'll also eat her pussy, finger her to "reward" her. Else 69 is my favourite as it really turns each other on, before we move on to fucking. Not to forget sensual kissing and touching each other.

More often that not, keep doing the same position could eliminate the element of surprise and excitement for each other too. Trying out new positions at different places in the house does help ignite the spark

Just my two cents. Good luck TS

[LauYewTee]

exact same here.. i ended up with depression and anxiety as she would counter back by saying i am not understanding toward her. and throw big emotional fit. it is very difficult. not sure what to do as well, have been to counselling for myself about my mental health state, not doing too good. work and kids are only distraction.

[willroyce]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

I feel that you should spicing up your sex life.. like maybe a trip to somehwere.. book a nice hotel, dim lights and champagne but i really respect you for being faithful bro

[willroyce]

exact same here.. i ended up with depression and anxiety as she would counter back by saying i am not understanding toward her. and throw big emotional fit. it is very difficult. not sure what to do as well, have been to counselling for myself about my mental health state, not doing too good. work and kids are only distraction.

Thats very true bro, I went through the same thing 1 year ago but i got a job overseas so that really helped me to distract me

[Bigbluebird]

I hope for you, that she is not having her fill of urges outside :o A friend's friend had a similar story to yours, turned out the wife had been banging outside after their second kid was borned, went on for years before the hubby found out :eek:

[willroyce]

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

Woah that is my biggest fear bro

[I Love Boobs]

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

Girls have sexual needs to.
That is what my ex fat wife proudly proclaimed before she applied for divorce.
She was overweight at 165cm / 70+kg.
And was fucking around with her boss, older than her father...

I'm glad I got out of a very toxic relationship.

[HelplessGal]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

TS, you have my full sympathy as I understand how you feel when you are taken for granted by your wife.

Since you gave up hope of receiving sex from your wife, it is time for you to look for the right partner who can take care of your needs without breaking up your family. But do appreciate this kind hearted partner and reciprocate kindness and good sexual pleasure to her.

[myluckyguy]

男人不坏,女人不爱.

very well said :D

[PandaFluff]

exact same here.. i ended up with depression and anxiety as she would counter back by saying i am not understanding toward her. and throw big emotional fit. it is very difficult. not sure what to do as well, have been to counselling for myself about my mental health state, not doing too good. work and kids are only distraction.

I am sorry to hear that bro. Depression is no joke and I dont wish that shit on any body. Are you currently still in the relationship? A story always has two sides but the fact that is she playing mental games are fucked up especially with the " you are not understanding part" my wife uses sort of the same tactic. Be strong bro.

[VoicesWithin]

Ah. But did you fulfill her emotional needs? The fact she is watching Korean love dramas is telling

[guyorgirl]

Before counselling, try to understand her issue, is there something that's hindering her from being intimate with you.

Like most bros here said, consider bringing back the thrill of courtship, taking her out, to let her relax and back to the days of youth. Something's lacking and prohibiting her from giving you pleasure.

Maybe something happened that she feels uncomfortable with, like enlarged pussy after birth or other physical matters. Girls are very conscientious about all the physical outlook of themselves, unlike men.

Let her understand your frustration of not getting it - not because you aren't getting any but because you feel that something is wrong and you want to help her share the burden.

I do applaud you for the keeping faithful part, do have a good chat with her first, see what she's lacking from you.

You can be a good father, good husband, but maybe what she lacks now is a good boyfriend and good lover. Find out what her love language is and move towards it. If she likes k-drama, try to catch up on the scene, ask if she'd like to go Korea etc...

My niece totally uninterested in anything also, but if you can strike the right chord with her, she will follow you everywhere even if she didn't want to go out in the first place. She tagged with my cousin who is into k-pop everywhere cos they have something in common. The last time I saw her is at my dad's birthday luncheon... lol else apart, there isn't much communication. Age gap also doesn't help here.

[driedlemon3]

I am a woman, maybe I can give a different perspective. To a woman, sex is not just an act and it encompass alot of emotions in it. It's not so much on the techniques or positions, it goes all the way to the day to day interactions if there are affections if there are act of intimacy, even holding hands after a jog together and strolling home is intimacy. Many men lets this slips and often relegate the woman to "mummy of their kids" and nothing more. It kills any interest in the bedroom. I had been with my man for quite a number of years. He has changed from someone very romantic to cold. In the bed I felt no intimacy or love, I still obliged and try to do romantic things. As time goes by I see that I am the only one making effort, my heart goes cold also.

[Rickey]

I hope for you, that she is not having her fill of urges outside :o A friend's friend had a similar story to yours, turned out the wife had been banging outside after their second kid was borned, went on for years before the hubby found out :eek:
bro Bigbluebird...pls enlighten us wat happened after her husband found out her betrayal n illegal sex with another guy outside :eek::confused:

[Rickey]

I am a woman, maybe I can give a different perspective. To a woman, sex is not just an act and it encompass alot of emotions in it. It's not so much on the techniques or positions, it goes all the way to the day to day interactions if there are affections if there are act of intimacy, even holding hands after a jog together and strolling home is intimacy. Many men lets this slips and often relegate the woman to "mummy of their kids" and nothing more. It kills any interest in the bedroom. I had been with my man for quite a number of years. He has changed from someone very romantic to cold. In the bed I felt no intimacy or love, I still obliged and try to do romantic things. As time goes by I see that I am the only one making effort, my heart goes cold also.
Welcome to SBF sis :)..Empathise with you...know how you are feeling now ...you r not alone..it's a v. typical experience of many wives everywhere in SG n even the world if i m not wrong esp after childbirth :(...but didn't you tell or share with yr husband how you felt as what u hv written to us here ??? :confused:

[PandaFluff]

I am a woman, maybe I can give a different perspective. To a woman, sex is not just an act and it encompass alot of emotions in it. It's not so much on the techniques or positions, it goes all the way to the day to day interactions if there are affections if there are act of intimacy, even holding hands after a jog together and strolling home is intimacy. Many men lets this slips and often relegate the woman to "mummy of their kids" and nothing more. It kills any interest in the bedroom. I had been with my man for quite a number of years. He has changed from someone very romantic to cold. In the bed I felt no intimacy or love, I still obliged and try to do romantic things. As time goes by I see that I am the only one making effort, my heart goes cold also.

Why is it that society has painted men that they think sex is just an emotionless act wanting to organism and that is it. It is nothing further than the truth. I have this in my married life that my wife shows zero day to day affection. I have no idea when last I have even kissed my wife good morning or in the evening when returning home from work. The real question that needs to be answered is why do people change. What happened to cause the change in behaviour are the just bored with the current situation? I agree one party should not only be making an effort. It should be both. That is what a relationship and marriage is about. It does not go about one or the other.

[bellcook]

Why is it that society has painted men that they think sex is just an emotionless act wanting to organism and that is it. It is nothing further than the truth. I have this in my married life that my wife shows zero day to day affection. I have no idea when last I have even kissed my wife good morning or in the evening when returning home from work. The real question that needs to be answered is why do people change. What happened to cause the change in behaviour are the just bored with the current situation? I agree one party should not only be making an effort. It should be both. That is what a relationship and marriage is about. It does not go about one or the other.

Agreed with you bro, it should be a 2-way relationship.

[Bigbluebird]

bro Bigbluebird...pls enlighten us wat happened after her husband found out her betrayal n illegal sex with another guy outside :eek::confused:

As what most men did, they couldn't accept and forgive, not that the ex wife was looking for forgiveness, they divorced with bad blood. She carried on fucking other men being their 小三, she wasn't sorry that it happened at all. Sometimes we just got to open our eyes, stop kidding ourselves and see things more clearly,

[Rickey]

As what most men did, they couldn't accept and forgive, not that the ex wife was looking for forgiveness, they divorced with bad blood. She carried on fucking other men being their 小三, she wasn't sorry that it happened at all. Sometimes we just got to open our eyes, stop kidding ourselves and see things more clearly,
Thanks for the clarification bro :)...so she is one of those notti wives :o

[ahgore]

I felt that humans have their stages of life.

Example: we don't go back to primary school to brush up our English or science. Because we all have passed that. For guys, we don't go back to army after completing our reservist.
We don't marry our spouse again every year....we don't do lots of things we used to do... that's because we passed that stage. Not because we don't want to do. It's because we passed that stage. Many couples have passed the honeymoon stage...having baby and kids stage... and goes to growing old stage. When we grow old.. we tend to change perspectives... and some of the things we used to do... are no longer of an interest.

If you ask your dad to sing and dance twinkle twinkle little stars.. that would be so out. If you ask an old man to fuck like a bunny... it's the same feeling as singing and dancing to twinkle twinkle little stars.

Many spouse couldn't accept it because both married couple doesn't pass the stage at the same time. 1 could have passed that stage while the other is still within the stage. So the 1 who is still within will be unhappy and think why spouse no interest in fucking already.

Do share your views if different from me.

[VoicesWithin]

I felt that humans have their stages of life.

It's because we passed that stage. Many couples have passed the honeymoon stage...having baby and kids stage... and goes to growing old stage.

Do share your views if different from me.

Its a good point. We managed to get our wife's panties off before we married them. So what changed after marriage?

I submit to you many men forgot how to woo their wives. We think we are past that stage. We just lie on our bed like dua pek gong and expect sex. Like a sis mentioned, no emotional connection, no sex.

[Rickey]

I felt that humans have their stages of life.

Example: we don't go back to primary school to brush up our English or science. Because we all have passed that. For guys, we don't go back to army after completing our reservist.
We don't marry our spouse again every year....we don't do lots of things we used to do... that's because we passed that stage. Not because we don't want to do. It's because we passed that stage. Many couples have passed the honeymoon stage...having baby and kids stage... and goes to growing old stage. When we grow old.. we tend to change perspectives... and some of the things we used to do... are no longer of an interest.

If you ask your dad to sing and dance twinkle twinkle little stars.. that would be so out. If you ask an old man to fuck like a bunny... it's the same feeling as singing and dancing to twinkle twinkle little stars.

Many spouse couldn't accept it because both married couple doesn't pass the stage at the same time. 1 could have passed that stage while the other is still within the stage. So the 1 who is still within will be unhappy and think why spouse no interest in fucking already.

Do share your views if different from me.
V. Well said bro... good comparison :)... one of the reasons for marriages turning unhappy :(... familiarity n more of the same breeds contempt... and age difference too

[shhhhh]

--delete--

[ahgore]

Its a good point. We managed to get our wife's panties off before we married them. So what changed after marriage?

I submit to you many men forgot how to woo their wives. We think we are past that stage. We just lie on our bed like dua pek gong and expect sex. Like a sis mentioned, no emotional connection, no sex.

Men are built to complete tasks...or missions. They are more logical than emotional whereas women vice versa. Once men completed a mission, they want to complete the next mission. E.g. woo girl over already is planning marriage..then plan buy house...then plan baby.. then educate kids.. hence these are stages men passed them by.

But women are more emotional type where they hope to stay at wooing stage for all stages...or wooing feel in all stages.

So it's hard to strike a balance. Hence understanding and maturity must comes in.

[Sgchiongster]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

世上没有不偷吃鱼的猫. Sometimes, u need release, then just do it. Only, 偷吃要抹嘴，出精出钱不出情. Don’t bring the baggage home when the deed is done.

[Bigbluebird]

Its a good point. We managed to get our wife's panties off before we married them. So what changed after marriage?

I submit to you many men forgot how to woo their wives. We think we are past that stage. We just lie on our bed like dua pek gong and expect sex. Like a sis mentioned, no emotional connection, no sex.

Personally, I feel us Singaporean men are complacent, once we gotten what we want, we slack and don't go the extra mile anymore. Perhaps Asian men have much of this mentality. Just like from making love to calling it having sex.

[virgone]

I am a woman, maybe I can give a different perspective. To a woman, sex is not just an act and it encompass alot of emotions in it. It's not so much on the techniques or positions, it goes all the way to the day to day interactions if there are affections if there are act of intimacy, even holding hands after a jog together and strolling home is intimacy. Many men lets this slips and often relegate the woman to "mummy of their kids" and nothing more. It kills any interest in the bedroom. I had been with my man for quite a number of years. He has changed from someone very romantic to cold. In the bed I felt no intimacy or love, I still obliged and try to do romantic things. As time goes by I see that I am the only one making effort, my heart goes cold also.

Totally understand, sis.
Communication is key.
Most man needs their woman to state what they want.

[Darric]

世上没有不偷吃鱼的猫. Sometimes, u need release, then just do it. Only, 偷吃要抹嘴，出精出钱不出情. Don’t bring the baggage home when the deed is done.

Good advice bro!

[driedlemon3]

Personally, I feel us Singaporean men are complacent, once we gotten what we want, we slack and don't go the extra mile anymore. Perhaps Asian men have much of this mentality. Just like from making love to calling it having sex.
Woman is like a pot of flowers. U nurture her with care n she would bloom for you. If u neglect her, she will just curl up n die. We don't need our man to perpetually wooing us but don't forget the sweet things you used to do. Once a while do it again it rekindles the feeling of intimacy. Similarly your woman would also do sweet things for u that makes u feel loved n appreciated.

[ahgore]

Woman is like a pot of flowers. U nurture her with care n she would bloom for you. If u neglect her, she will just curl up n die. We don't need our man to perpetually wooing us but don't forget the sweet things you used to do. Once a while do it again it rekindles the feeling of intimacy. Similarly your woman would also do sweet things for u that makes u feel loved n appreciated.

Well.. it takes 2 hands to clap. If the wife loves and respects hubby, hubby will nurture wife till it blooms.

Sometimes, the relationship goes downhill is because 1 of them stopped nurturing... the other will follow suit. Then over time... gone.

[NightstallionTy]

Think for ur kids bro👍 watever happen..dun letvthe kid suffer..

[robert1234]

Why is it that society has painted men that they think sex is just an emotionless act wanting to organism and that is it. It is nothing further than the truth. I have this in my married life that my wife shows zero day to day affection. I have no idea when last I have even kissed my wife good morning or in the evening when returning home from work. The real question that needs to be answered is why do people change. What happened to cause the change in behaviour are the just bored with the current situation? I agree one party should not only be making an effort. It should be both. That is what a relationship and marriage is about. It does not go about one or the other.

When a couple is not married to each other, whatever they do for each other tend to be appreciated. They dont have to, but they do what they did because they love and care for each other. They are grateful for every little deeds received.

When a couple is formally married, whatever they do for each other are obligations. They do what they did because it is their responsibility in the marriage. They take for granted all the little deeds received.

[PandaFluff]

When a couple is not married to each other, whatever they do for each other tend to be appreciated. They dont have to, but they do what they did because they love and care for each other. They are grateful for every little deeds received.

When a couple is formally married, whatever they do for each other are obligations. They do what they did because it is their responsibility in the marriage. They take for granted all the little deeds received.

I dont agree with this. However each to his own. Being married does not suddenly change you to be obligated to do certain things. There is no finite list of essential element and duties of marriage.

Same with the responsibilities. Although it is expected that a wife should shoulder all the household responsibilities and the husband should look after the financial matters, but times are changing and there is no defined role. If both the partners are professionals and work to earn a livelihood, they should discuss their roles before they get married.

The problem occurs due to a lack of communication. They get married have children then the shit hits the fan and no one knows how or what to do.

[hokkienme56]

I feel that you should spicing up your sex life.. like maybe a trip to somehwere.. book a nice hotel, dim lights and champagne but i really respect you for being faithful bro

Yes i oso agree, must set the mood first mah only can shiok... if not ur wife oso dun feel like doing

[hokkienme56]

I hope for you, that she is not having her fill of urges outside :o A friend's friend had a similar story to yours, turned out the wife had been banging outside after their second kid was borned, went on for years before the hubby found out :eek:

thats why ppl have trust issues... cant even sleep properly at night thinking if the wife faithful or not...

[fishmeup]

Sometimes I will text my wife something sexy complimenting her once in awhile that I love and miss her just to keep the romance going. We also experienced a period where there was hardly any action except for the baby trying period. I try to do and say things to show that I appreciate her. It's not really about material needs. I was also upfront with her that I have my needs and I'm not sure about you guys but I miss the times where how my wife and I will make out during our younger days. We have been together for slightly more than 15 yrs and I try to replicate the good old times when we happen to have the night to ourselves.
Like one bro mentioned, communication is key and this is really true for my case. There was a period my wife and I were hardly talking because we were busy with work and frequently engaged with our phones. We had an argument about this and talked about it then things started to pick up again.
However I do acknowledge that not all couples can communicate properly and tbh, I don't believe in marriage counselling. It's about the willingness and experimenting diff ways of communicating and hopefully one hits the nail. I have had friends telling me why they or their wife are 'eating' outside and often times I found that lack of communication was the catalyst. And by communication, I don't mean talking about having sex. It's about sharing your day, asking about theirs, sharing anything you saw that was interesting etc. Don't wait for shit to hit the fan so be the first one to make the first move.
Hopefully what I have shared makes sense.

[larue]

However I do acknowledge that not all couples can communicate properly and tbh, I don't believe in marriage counselling. It's about the willingness and experimenting diff ways of communicating and hopefully one hits the nail.

Don't be too quick to write off counselling. It really can be helpful to talk with a trained intermediary precisely because miscommunication can happen very easily between just 2 people.

Without a third party, people often lack the willingness or ability to experiment different ways of communicating.

[iluvbreast]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest....The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

Bro Killingbird since you are not asking for suggestions, so none offered. Just out of curiosity, how was sex with your wife before your 2nd kid?

[VoicesWithin]

Sometimes I will text my wife something sexy complimenting her once in awhile that I love and miss her just to keep the romance going. We also experienced a period where there was hardly any action except for the baby trying period. I try to do and say things to show that I appreciate her. It's not really about material needs. I was also upfront with her that I have my needs and I'm not sure about you guys but I miss the times where how my wife and I will make out during our younger days. We have been together for slightly more than 15 yrs and I try to replicate the good old times when we happen to have the night to ourselves.
Like one bro mentioned, communication is key and this is really true for my case. There was a period my wife and I were hardly talking because we were busy with work and frequently engaged with our phones. We had an argument about this and talked about it then things started to pick up again.
However I do acknowledge that not all couples can communicate properly and tbh, I don't believe in marriage counselling. It's about the willingness and experimenting diff ways of communicating and hopefully one hits the nail. I have had friends telling me why they or their wife are 'eating' outside and often times I found that lack of communication was the catalyst. And by communication, I don't mean talking about having sex. It's about sharing your day, asking about theirs, sharing anything you saw that was interesting etc. Don't wait for shit to hit the fan so be the first one to make the first move.
Hopefully what I have shared makes sense.

Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup

I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!

Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?

Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.

Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?

The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.

I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.

[ahgore]

Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup

I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!

Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?

Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.

Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?

The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.

I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.
Agree that when couples quarrel too frequently, will end up not communicating. Hence couples should learn to hold back when arguments even started.

Another deadly to marriage is when spouse finger points.. plus assuming things on their own thoughts.... and then blame it on you.

Spouse caught lying also deadly.

But when no sex... really cannot survive the marriage?

[Hustling]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

Just dropping a note to say I totally feel you, been on the same boat since the 1st child. Hope you regain your sexual life at some point.

[Lucifer666]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

Is okay bro.... lots of man out there have the same problem... either wife don’t give sex or lost interest in have sex with wife.
Just head down to GL... have a good meals and than go to have a quick fuck at those legal house. After all much of the sex is like a physical needs, just fuck and than go home..

[PanasBoy]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

i had this same issue with my wife, she worry of getting pregnant again, but i would suggest heart to heart talk, it did work for me, just have chat on this matter, i believe it will help... ask why she avoiding it? is worry she get pregrant again? they rather not have sex is partially because of this issue.. i believe...my wife is scare of having another child to take care...

[larue]

i had this same issue with my wife, she worry of getting pregnant again, but i would suggest heart to heart talk, it did work for me, just have chat on this matter, i believe it will help... ask why she avoiding it? is worry she get pregrant again? they rather not have sex is partially because of this issue.. i believe...my wife is scare of having another child to take care...

Considering how many ways there are to avoid getting pregnant without abstaining, this excuse is as flimsy as they come.

So did the heart to heart talk work for you or not? Cannot tell, so how did you get her to overcome her fear of getting pregnant again?

CIM or COB lol.

[Rickey]

i had this same issue with my wife, she worry of getting pregnant again, but i would suggest heart to heart talk, it did work for me, just have chat on this matter, i believe it will help... ask why she avoiding it? is worry she get pregrant again? they rather not have sex is partially because of this issue.. i believe...my wife is scare of having another child to take care...
Then you just put on the condom lor bro when having sex if yr wife is so scared to be pregnant...omg !...don't u guys know the use of the condom that it protects n guards against pregnancy n even STD ???...every guy or gal from puberty onwards will surely know this whether they r married or not...u shd know this, more so that both of u r a married couple n already hv a kid...sorry no offense meant bro, just telling a fact that every one of us shd know guy or gal

[Rickey]

Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup

I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!

Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?

Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.

Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?

The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.

I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.
Well said by this bro on the problems of sexless marriages :)...he has analyzed them well n has offered some v. good advice to overcome the problem...many husbands are guilty of not speaking lovingly to their wives as they shd n vice versa as well...this the result of stresses of daily life taking its toll on them

[itguy2008]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

Don't worry Bro. Got solution. I am in the same situation as you. My youngest one is six years old. Last time had sex with my wife was Valentine's day 7 years ago which got her pregnant.

The solution. GUTI (Get Use To It). Not unless you want to get a divorce on the grounds that she is not fulfilling her martial duties.

[itguy2008]

Yes i oso agree, must set the mood first mah only can shiok... if not ur wife oso dun feel like doing

Been there. Done that. Tried that.

All she care is ..... "how are the boys at home with your mother? Should I FaceTime them now?"

[itguy2008]

Good post! A must read for bros in sexless marriages. Thanks bro fishmeup

I am married 20 years and experience the same. Its not about the one-off romantic holiday overseas as one bro suggested. Its about the whole day to day feeling. I text my wife often through out the day; I start by telling her I love her. When we are physically together, we habitually engage in "small talks". Never belittle what small talks do for women!

Yes, although communication is important, how you make her feel is even more important. Do you text your wife just to communicate your instructions to her? Or is every communication with you a dread for her?

Often, many couples cease to communicate bec they have quarrelled frequently over silly mundane things till they are so sick of each other. Their only communication is to text each other kids logistical matters. If that is so, you have prized mundane things over sex.

Let her have some wins. Remember how you used to accommodate her when you were wooing her?

The rot in marriages does not start with suggestions of divorce. It starts when couples cease to WANT to communicate. Sexless is the result. Its her way of telling you she ain't no want to connect with you; you do your things I do mine.

I am no corporate high flier - read as no buy Hermes bag for her. But I am still rocking it every week after 20 years. Women these days can settle their own material needs. Think they prefer their emotional needs fulfilled. They married you for love, not bec you are a bank. Hope my sharing helps.

Wanna know something? Total piece of crap, I mean from the ladies. They emphasis on communication because they are no longer observant and understanding. They need you to tell them in black and white.

I can read her body language that she like a dress or a bag. Does she even bother to read mine? I will be honest, most of the time, I feel like my maid is my wife. She knows what I like to eat, how I arrange my clothes better than my wife.

To understand someone that you love, you just talk or text and you do not observe? Cut me some slack.

[mike3329]

Wanna know something? Total piece of crap, I mean from the ladies. They emphasis on communication because they are no longer observant and understanding. They need you to tell them in black and white.

I can read her body language that she like a dress or a bag. Does she even bother to read mine? I will be honest, most of the time, I feel like my maid is my wife. She knows what I like to eat, how I arrange my clothes better than my wife.

To understand someone that you love, you just talk or text and you do not observe? Cut me some slack.


You are so brutally honest. It really sounds like your maid knows your needs better than the wife. At this rate she may soon even take on supplementary duties like satisfying your physical needs....sounds like only a matter of time and your self-control!

[PandaFluff]

Wanna know something? Total piece of crap, I mean from the ladies. They emphasis on communication because they are no longer observant and understanding. They need you to tell them in black and white.

I can read her body language that she like a dress or a bag. Does she even bother to read mine? I will be honest, most of the time, I feel like my maid is my wife. She knows what I like to eat, how I arrange my clothes better than my wife.

To understand someone that you love, you just talk or text and you do not observe? Cut me some slack.

It is a two way street, both parties need to communicate, both parties need to give it 110%, that is what marriage is the literal meaning is "formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship"

If one party gives 110% and the other 80% soon enough it will break down and fail.

The reason why the maid "knows what you like" is because it is her job. I hope you don't expect your wife to always have to cook, and arrange your cloths for you? it is a give and take.

[mikestc]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

You are not alone bro.. same goes here.. after kid is out everything stops by itself for whatever reason... anyway thats life health more important now

[morrissey1209]

Bros, if you are in a long distance relationship (especially now during COVID), would you ask for nudes from your gal?

[minnylo]

I can assure you your life will be boring because I know guy cannot live without sex life. Just ignore your wife and find some sexy girl in sugarbook which will give you memorable night.

[cokekane]

feel sorry for ts.. is this a normal sinkie women thing? (not having sex after marriage/kids)

[itguy2008]

You are so brutally honest. It really sounds like your maid knows your needs better than the wife. At this rate she may soon even take on supplementary duties like satisfying your physical needs....sounds like only a matter of time and your self-control!

No chance. Now getting old and scare of consequences. Last time young very reckless.

Now I will think, should I let her catch me fucking the maid and loss my marriage plus half my assets as though I am in the wrong?

Who the hell stop doing their duties first?

[itguy2008]

It is a two way street, both parties need to communicate, both parties need to give it 110%, that is what marriage is the literal meaning is "formally recognized union of two people as partners in a personal relationship"

If one party gives 110% and the other 80% soon enough it will break down and fail.

The reason why the maid "knows what you like" is because it is her job. I hope you don't expect your wife to always have to cook, and arrange your cloths for you? it is a give and take.

Hahaha. Thanks for coming up for excuses for her incompetency lor.

Cannot cook then cannot observe? During the CB, she order lunch for me. Order one hor. No need to cook. Order lor mee. I wonder since when did she ever see me eat lor mee.

To prepare a birthday cake for the kids, she go and learn how to bake. spend half her day watching FB Live selling clothes. Don't know how to watch YouTube to learn how to cook what I like to eat?

She is not working. My mother look after my kids in the day so that after work, i have an excuse to visit my mother and eat some decent home cook food after a long day at work.

By the way, should she not be the one telling the maid what I like to eat rather than the maid observing?

[enigma88]

Hahaha. Thanks for coming up for excuses for her incompetency lor.

Cannot cook then cannot observe? During the CB, she order lunch for me. Order one hor. No need to cook. Order lor mee. I wonder since when did she ever see me eat lor mee.

To prepare a birthday cake for the kids, she go and learn how to bake. spend half her day watching FB Live selling clothes. Don't know how to watch YouTube to learn how to cook what I like to eat?

She is not working. My mother look after my kids in the day so that after work, i have an excuse to visit my mother and eat some decent home cook food after a long day at work.

By the way, should she not be the one telling the maid what I like to eat rather than the maid observing?

Think she needs to be told how you're feeling about her. Tell her your unhappiness and frustrations. Don't take things for granted. She may not even be aware of her own deficiencies. Good luck.

[nkyc]

After reading the sharings i now understand better... My story is similar. My wife is a tiger mom. After our one and only son, we hardly have sex, even if we do it's very obligated with very little feeling. My wife is very OCD in cleaniness and it pisses both me and my son off to the max... As a result, i have allowed for myself and my son to take refuge at my parents house. I have also gone spa many times and indulged in paid sexual service frm ladies who treat me much better than my wife... I am not sure about my son but if he marries someone like his mom I'm pretty sure he'll be eating outside like his father....

[driedlemon3]

Hahaha. Thanks for coming up for excuses for her incompetency lor.

Cannot cook then cannot observe? During the CB, she order lunch for me. Order one hor. No need to cook. Order lor mee. I wonder since when did she ever see me eat lor mee.

To prepare a birthday cake for the kids, she go and learn how to bake. spend half her day watching FB Live selling clothes. Don't know how to watch YouTube to learn how to cook what I like to eat?

She is not working. My mother look after my kids in the day so that after work, i have an excuse to visit my mother and eat some decent home cook food after a long day at work.

By the way, should she not be the one telling the maid what I like to eat rather than the maid observing?

Maybe try arrange for a romantic staycation, create an opportunity for you to be alone with her and share your thoughts on things and how you hope romance can be alive again between you both? Being a mother, sometimes she can get carried away focusing on the kids and neglecting her man. Sometimes as a woman, we do appreciate our man initiating romance rather than stewing in anger.

[Wasabi999]

So many bros in the same ship after marriage... haiz....

[secretlurker88]

Just curious as I'm single. Why do you bros get married to such women? was it that they were very different before marriage? or is it even before marriage they didn't like sex already?

[farkadipa]

So many bros in the same ship after marriage... haiz....

After marriage not too bad. It is after giving birth, where her energy & focus are on the little kids and not the old man. Just got to tell myself that the 'sacrifice' is for the kids... Hahaa

[lightweaver]

Might be too late. U can try conditioning. Eg house rules. Jus like in bmt, all is disciplined to follow orders. U can suggest min 2x a week. It may sound regimental but once tat expectation is set, it's easier to manage. This has to b done early in rs or after a big fight to renegotiate the terms. U can try a kinkier approach I did which is to hv a master slave kind of storyline. Spices things up and masks the rigidity.

[I Love Boobs]

Bros, if you are in a long distance relationship (especially now during COVID), would you ask for nudes from your gal?

Yes. Of course.

[victorlee10]

To be honest is there any harm in eating outside? I’m in the same situation as you. Sex is few and far between. In the past I would still beg for it but even when she obligates she will be lying there like a dead fish. After kids she does little grooming either so what I usually see is a chubby lady with saggy boobs and hairy pussy lying in a star position on bed waiting for me to get it over with. After a while I completely lost interest and now don’t bother to ask at all.

Going to WL allows me to fulfil all my needs, as and when I want it, and with whichever lady I fancy. After I’m done I just pay up and I go back to my family with no obligations to the WL. Sounds like a dream.

I think you need to get past the mental hurdle bro. Think about it, if you pcc to your hot colleague or the chio intern then aren’t you also satisfying yourself with another lady? Men don’t really have many indulgences, no expensive handbags or high tea, enjoy women while you can.

[hakone]

To be honest is there any harm in eating outside? I’m in the same situation as you. Sex is few and far between. In the past I would still beg for it but even when she obligates she will be lying there like a dead fish. After kids she does little grooming either so what I usually see is a chubby lady with saggy boobs and hairy pussy lying in a star position on bed waiting for me to get it over with. After a while I completely lost interest and now don’t bother to ask at all.

Going to WL allows me to fulfil all my needs, as and when I want it, and with whichever lady I fancy. After I’m done I just pay up and I go back to my family with no obligations to the WL. Sounds like a dream.
If your wife finds you unattractive and decides to find men outside to satisfy her, are you ok with it?

[ibanezjem555]

Not meant to criticise bro, but if wifey like dead fish.. i doubt she is interested in other men..
Women not preoccupied with sex like men.. happy home, children to mother over is sufficient to quell their oestrogen n other hormones. women also get their thrills from branded handbags n wallets plus social gathering with friends..
Basically, they have many outlets but we men preoccupied with one outlet and work..

[victorlee10]

If your wife finds you unattractive and decides to find men outside to satisfy her, are you ok with it?

Bro if you want to talk about morality then you’re probably in the wrong forum. I doubt anyone of us would openly share with our spouse that we surf sammy.

So you surf porn but I take it you don’t visit fl? Do you think of other women when you masturbate or have sex with your wife? Isn’t this 五十步笑百步？

[secretgarden]

In my opinion this is an avenue for all bros to have an outlet of frustrations and views. And most of the time there is much value to be viewed at objectively in which we can reflect in own lives. I really do not see why there are judgements made or moral polices saying what is right or what is wrong. Hey this is Sammyboy. If you do have enough morals i guess you’re at the wrong place.

Kudos to all bros who has the courage to talk and share their deepest reflections here. And thank you for it.

[nkyc]

My wife never give me so i eat outside pretty often. I just wanna advise all to chiong safely. I almost got tempted to do raw and the gal allow but i suddenly tot of the horror of contracting some STD and my family so i quickly asked her to stop and take condom.... She was definitely offended cos i say i scared which obviously meant that I don't trust her and suspect maybe she got some STD, haha.

[willroyce]

i have divorced my wife 3 years ago and im dating someone which i met in sugarbook for 1 year now and i feel that she is really good because me and my ex wife always has problem because of sex

[willroyce]

In my opinion this is an avenue for all bros to have an outlet of frustrations and views. And most of the time there is much value to be viewed at objectively in which we can reflect in own lives. I really do not see why there are judgements made or moral polices saying what is right or what is wrong. Hey this is Sammyboy. If you do have enough morals i guess you’re at the wrong place.

Kudos to all bros who has the courage to talk and share their deepest reflections here. And thank you for it.

yes very true because this forums allows us to express our feelings and also get some advice

[willroyce]

After marriage not too bad. It is after giving birth, where her energy & focus are on the little kids and not the old man. Just got to tell myself that the 'sacrifice' is for the kids... Hahaa

after my first son.. my sex life with my ex wife just went down the drain haih.....

[willroyce]

Just curious as I'm single. Why do you bros get married to such women? was it that they were very different before marriage? or is it even before marriage they didn't like sex already?

once there are kids involved, the priorities just change and sex life is neglected

[ahgore]

once there are kids involved, the priorities just change and sex life is neglected

Agree... but there may be spouse not happy about it. So end up divorce.

[farie]

Men and women are just programmed differently.
If u think of it as survival of species, female will often be the one taking care of offsprings and male will want to spread their seeds far and wide.
Of course there are exceptions but this is the norm.

I too am married with kids, wife takes care of children 24/7. Sex is like once a month at most. So i also eat outside with no strings attached, just wanna release.

[Kent7188]

thank for share

[energy_boi]

after my first son.. my sex life with my ex wife just went down the drain haih.....

Ex wife.... was this a reason for divorce?

[bigggbird69]

sex is an important part of marriage life. couples needs to put in effort together to spice it up so that the spark can carry on. but it really need both hands to clap.

[ahgore]

sex is an important part of marriage life. couples needs to put in effort together to spice it up so that the spark can carry on. but it really need both hands to clap.

Can we say sex is important in marriage but only for initial years? Some old men cannot stand liao how to have sex?

[Gingerbreadg]

Thanks for the various opinion shared

[Irondick666]

Some women just want children. Sex is secondary. It's a means to get children... After they got want they want, the sex stop. Like you buy a mobile plan and they promise you unlimited data, then 1 yr later revised the contract to 12mb... then 1 yr later to no data plan. You have to subscribe for it. (Send flowers, bring her to romantic dinner like how some bro suggest) :D

[bigggbird69]

Can we say sex is important in marriage but only for initial years? Some old men cannot stand liao how to have sex?

hahaha that's a very realistic question that all man will face eventually. Just enjoy as long as possible lo. when cannot stand that use toy to help lo.:p

[Koei]

Some women just want children. Sex is secondary. It's a means to get children... After they got want they want, the sex stop. Like you buy a mobile plan and they promise you unlimited data, then 1 yr later revised the contract to 12mb... then 1 yr later to no data plan. You have to subscribe for it. (Send flowers, bring her to romantic dinner like how some bro suggest) :D

One of my buddies is having a sexless marriage which he said his wife is simply disinterested despite his efforts. Maybe adding more romance and spending more time with her will help but not sure if some of the SG women really enjoy sex or most of them think sex is just a guy thing and they don't derive any enjoyment from having sex.

[expatamerican]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

You are not getting laid because you are a limp dick male. What woman can respect a guy who shows no spine, gives in to all her bullshit demands and still remains faithful? What kind of real man works hard outside the home and still has to do housework at home? What does your wife do all day? Oh yeah, goes shopping for Hermes and Channel with your money. Sorry, you are never gonna get anything out of her. Start over with someone new and get a pair of balls.

[Xgenre]

Sorry, you are never gonna get anything out of her. Start over with someone new and get a pair of balls.

He may lose access to his 2 kids who are likely to be both under 7 years old. Heavy price to pay. If she is not interested in sex, ask her upfront for permission to outsource. Not really asking for her permission lah but it will serve as a wake up call. She needs to know it is a serious problem and not something she can fake away.

[nkyc]

I just found out my wife's problem, she says she got itch and some infection down below... I know she's not lying and i am about afraid that maybe i passed something to her, but my dick is clean and functioning well so i think it's her problem. So for the bros who's not getting satisfying sex from your spouse i think it's good to find out exactly why by just bringing it up casually and see how she responds....

[Rickey]

I just found out my wife's problem, she says she got itch and some infection down below... I know she's not lying and i am about afraid that maybe i passed something to her, but my dick is clean and functioning well so i think it's her problem. So for the bros who's not getting satisfying sex from your spouse i think it's good to find out exactly why by just bringing it up casually and see how she responds....
If she had done something wrong, she would definitely not want to admit or tell you n vice versa if u had done something wrong to her, u also wouldn't want to let her know right ??...but if they hv a genuine problem they wouldn't mind to let u know...dick looks clean n well doesn't really mean you're alright...u could be a carrier just like those covid-19 asymptomatic cases...infect others still they don't know...so better bring yr wife to her gynae to get a thorough check up to see wat kinda of infection that is ???..b4 it gets worse

[Xgenre]

I just found out my wife's problem, she says she got itch and some infection down below... I know she's not lying and i am about afraid that maybe i passed something to her, but my dick is clean and functioning well so i think it's her problem. So for the bros who's not getting satisfying sex from your spouse i think it's good to find out exactly why by just bringing it up casually and see how she responds....

Be a caring husband. Follow her to the gynae. Sit in during her consultation. Maybe she is too shy to tell the gynae since most gynae are men. Could be a yeast infection, not a STD. Go for a check too to make sure if it is not NGU. Got fishy smell or any discharge with colour?

[Rickey]

Be a caring husband. Follow her to the gynae. Sit in during her consultation. Maybe she is too shy to tell the gynae since most gynae are men. Could be a yeast infection, not a STD. Go for a check too to make sure if it is not NGU. Got fishy smell or any discharge with colour?
Yes, agree with n support bro Xgenre's kind recommendations to the bro...

but if not mistaken, nowadays it is easier to find lady gynaes as there r now more of them than male ones as evidenced by many of my lady friends seeing lady gynaes...maybe more female doctors now prefer to specialise in this area which concerns more about their own bodies which they can relate to easier as they themselves will experience it one day when they give birth to their own children plus knowing that most women would prefer to see lady doctors than male ones because of modesty considerations

[fattyguy2020]

Sorry to hear that. Been facing same dilemma & issue this year. Can use fingers to count how many time did it. The rejection lead to a frustration in myself and cause an anger. Thats when you start to think of all the negative things. still thinking ways to overcome this

[nkyc]

Be a caring husband. Follow her to the gynae. Sit in during her consultation. Maybe she is too shy to tell the gynae since most gynae are men. Could be a yeast infection, not a STD. Go for a check too to make sure if it is not NGU. Got fishy smell or any discharge with colour?

No discharge and not smelly to me. What's NGU? Thks

[arrdwolf_77]

I never knew i will be in this thread but here am i. I super regret getting married that's for sure and will never encourage anyone to do it if u haven't.

[Xiaoboi123]

I think when there is a newborn to the family, the whole dynamics and focus changes. It no longer about you and your wife but rather the newborn. Assuming if she takes care of the baby, she will be too tired for anything else after the baby sleeps.

Maybe a staycation or some alone time with (with baby in the care of grandparents) will helps.

[DieCorkStand]

I never knew i will be in this thread but here am i. I super regret getting married that's for sure and will never encourage anyone to do it if u haven't.


Hi Bro you are too negative ...
It takes 2 hands to clap ...

Yes mostly woman lack of sex drive after giving birth .. but is up to you to make it happen.

If you really love her , these are not so important.

Bring her to holiday every year at twice a year like long trip and then another 2 times short trip with kids.

Unless your wife grows fat which will make us turn impotent if see everyday.
Ask her to join you to go jogging and at the same time can see many Camel toes and tell her that lady figure very good and pressure her to maintain figure.
When they exercise and fit then their sex drive can comes back for some ...

Show her some sexy porn but not to XXX as some are really disgusting which may have negative impact
My personal experience ....

[bigboyforum]

this tread with worth for discussion

[vendomy8282]

Saw a couple of threads where the Bros share their sad stories. Thought i will also share mine here, just to get things of my chest.

Am married for 7 years now with 2 kids. No sex since the wife got preggie with our 2nd and my 2nd is now approaching 1year. So, almost 2 years without sex now. In fact, we had sex for a grand total of 7 times in that year leading up to the 2nd pregnancy; she only wanted sex during her most fertile day in order to get pregnant.

Had tried to initiate sex (many many times) but she was always tired. It is ok if she is tired, but she has alot of time surfing Instagram or chasing Korean/China drama. Adds to my misery.

The final straw that broke me was my birthday. I thought that getting birthday hump should be the minimum? Didnt get any; she showered, went to bed and promptly fell asleep. i left the room, opened a bottle of Glenfiddich and stared blankly into space for a good couple of hours.

And before i get bombarded with questions on whether i treat my wife well. Well, i've definitely fulfilled all her material needs. Chanel, Hermes, you name it, she have it. I am also the one that does the housework around the house. Cooking, mopping, laundry chores, are done by me, while she focus on taking care of my kids.

To add insult to injury, i am a corporate hi-flier (money is not a problem for me) and i have had multiple woman hinting or out rightly seducing me to try to climb the corporate ladder. I've rejected them all as i believe in remaining faithful to my wife. I also dont engage in FL/WLs as am scare of the potential diseases that i could pass on to my kids.

The only thing that i look forward to at home now, is playing with my kids. Have completely given up hope that i will ever have sex at home.

Just ranting. Thanks for reading Bros.

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

[Steakz]

After marriage, sex tends to go on a downwards trend.

[Greenfrog]

I never knew i will be in this thread but here am i. I super regret getting married that's for sure and will never encourage anyone to do it if u haven't.

can elaborate???

[koites]

Hi Bro you are too negative ...
It takes 2 hands to clap ...

Yes mostly woman lack of sex drive after giving birth .. but is up to you to make it happen.

If you really love her , these are not so important.

Bring her to holiday every year at twice a year like long trip and then another 2 times short trip with kids.

Unless your wife grows fat which will make us turn impotent if see everyday.
Ask her to join you to go jogging and at the same time can see many Camel toes and tell her that lady figure very good and pressure her to maintain figure.
When they exercise and fit then their sex drive can comes back for some ...

Show her some sexy porn but not to XXX as some are really disgusting which may have negative impact
My personal experience ....

Thanks for sharing. I think these are standard advice that a lot of websites recommend. I've tried everything under the sun. I have to say...nothing works. Holiday, porn, gifts, dates, gym for myself....nothing works. We had a big fight. She even said she wasn't interested at all. Like 90% of the time, she wasn't interested in sex at all. I told her long ago that I needed it twice a week. Initially, she tried. Even did a range of 2 days on which she would do it with me. Now, she's so lazy and gave up. She'd rather spend time chatting with her friends on whatsapp. Sometimes, I get so pissed that I told her why don't you go live or sleep with your friends??? FUCK.

[itguy2008]

Thanks for sharing. I think these are standard advice that a lot of websites recommend. I've tried everything under the sun. I have to say...nothing works. Holiday, porn, gifts, dates, gym for myself....nothing works. We had a big fight. She even said she wasn't interested at all. Like 90% of the time, she wasn't interested in sex at all. I told her long ago that I needed it twice a week. Initially, she tried. Even did a range of 2 days on which she would do it with me. Now, she's so lazy and gave up. She'd rather spend time chatting with her friends on whatsapp. Sometimes, I get so pissed that I told her why don't you go live or sleep with your friends??? FUCK.

Bro, totally feel you. Mine too. She rather spend her day e-shopping or chatting with her family. Don't say sex la. Sometimes I want supper, I open up the fridge and want to get an egg to cook instant noodle also don't have.

Find instant noodle, don't have. Find peanuts, don't have. All my cupboards filled with my children's snacks and water bottles. Master bedroom filled with her clothes which I don't know wear for who to see. Cos when we go out now, we hardly hold each other even if it is just the two of us. Cos I got rejected too many times in bed until I am sore. Everytime want to touch her also scare liao.

I tell myself maybe one fine day when she is in the mood, she will come and touch me first. Last time we had sex were 6 years ago. after that, the second child is born and the waiting continues.

[YELLOW]

My advise is jus lead ur own life . Love ur kids . Go out eat buffet but just beware of PI and infections .try not to think of divorcing . If u do at least have a 3-4yrs runway to squirrel money assets away before commencing the divorce. To keep it simple u jus need a pussy to fuck . Go find FL or even a sugar babe come home BAU ..... next day wake up u hero again ....


Bro, totally feel you. Mine too. She rather spend her day e-shopping or chatting with her family. Don't say sex la. Sometimes I want supper, I open up the fridge and want to get an egg to cook instant noodle also don't have.

Find instant noodle, don't have. Find peanuts, don't have. All my cupboards filled with my children's snacks and water bottles. Master bedroom filled with her clothes which I don't know wear for who to see. Cos when we go out now, we hardly hold each other even if it is just the two of us. Cos I got rejected too many times in bed until I am sore. Everytime want to touch her also scare liao.

I tell myself maybe one fine day when she is in the mood, she will come and touch me first. Last time we had sex were 6 years ago. after that, the second child is born and the waiting continues.

[newswing]

As I have said if u love your wife and kids, go for counseling to save the marriage.
maybe some girls are brought traditionally to take care of the kids and make sure they excel in schools and etc.
some women are just not interested in sex... can check their star sign.
maybe should just tell the wifey that bcos of your sex drive you may have one night stands or flings ..just to see her reaction!
it's better to be truthful !

[bonkbong]

TS, What I'm going to say may not be the nicest but I'm just playing the devil's advocate.

Maybe get PI to spotcheck if anything is going on elsewhere. Just to eliminate 1 potential reason why she doesn't want sex anymore.

I'm not accusing anyone of anything. Just helping you to eliminate as many potential reasons that could be.

At the meantime, I guess you can go get massage with extras, no need to do full services, some release you will feel good. Just don't get addicted or kena KC-ed. Remember, they are providing a service which you are paying for. No real love involved.

[fatuncle]

Soon you will realise that she is planning on cheating on you.

How I wish my wife will do that. Then it will make it easy for me to to file for seperation.

[larue]

How I wish my wife will do that. Then it will make it easy for me to to file for seperation.

No filing is needed for separation. Just leave.

[justwanadoit]

At least the brothers here attracted to their wives, i am totally not attracted at all. Not sure why i marry anyway.
sigh, guess its a big mistake in life. Now keep eating outside, and i felt bad

[alan928]

I never knew i will be in this thread but here am i. I super regret getting married that's for sure and will never encourage anyone to do it if u haven't.

Thanks bro, I will listen to your advice!!

[Dignified69]

Thanks bro, I will listen to your advice!!

Nothing wrong in getting married.....but if your luck is bad and you end up with a sexless nutcase....well then....

[Greenfrog]

At least the brothers here attracted to their wives, i am totally not attracted at all. Not sure why i marry anyway.
sigh, guess its a big mistake in life. Now keep eating outside, and i felt bad

did u marry for the sake of marriage??

[Jabba]

Life is short. Enjoy while it last. Going out to eat is one thing, but make sure dont get cheated by FL outside.Nowadays FL very cunning, with u, behind got others as well.

[loneyheart]

Dum worry abt FLs nowadays they all want fast job no more KC n GFE especially PRCs

[wskkern]

Bro... Totally understand you.. I'm almost in the same situation as you.. What u can do is drink all u can and fall a sleep at night...

[deematter]

is hard to manage this kind of marriage, is look like abnormal too

[alea]

Bro... Totally understand you.. I'm almost in the same situation as you.. What u can do is drink all u can and fall a sleep at night...

Same here bro. Will drink a bit every night before sleep just to numb my brain from thinking too much.

[YELLOW]

Encourage all bros in a sexless marriage to eat out . Just keep ur sanity . Dont divorce .


Same here bro. Will drink a bit every night before sleep just to numb my brain from thinking too much.

[Rickey]

Encourage all bros in a sexless marriage to eat out . Just keep ur sanity . Dont divorce .
Looks like dat is the best solution thus far...but just don't get caught by yr wife :eek:..cos then it will be all hell break loose

[=M4G=MrX=]

By and large, the more a couple invest in their marriage, the greater the likelihood they will stay in it. In terms of sexuality, social prescriptions also play a role. These include the social norms that committed couples remain sexually exclusive backed up by the legal norms that make it difficult for couples to end their relationship when it becomes less than satisfying.

Here are some of the reasons why some couples choose celibacy in their committed relationships:

The passage of time
The longer a relationship endures, the greater the chances that the couple’s sexual fires will diminish. Even so, many older adults do remain sexually active. For aging women, the issue may be not only one of time changing the nature of the relationship but the fact that their partners are no longer alive or are in poor health.

Stressors in the relationship
Even relatively young couples can become voluntarily celibate if they are facing enough outside pressures. Late in a woman’s pregnancy, the couple may decide to cease having sex, and even after the baby is born, she and/or her partner may simply not have the energy to engage in sexual activity. Eventually, most couples do become sexually active again after six months, but they may then run into other competing demands on their emotional energy.

Illness in one or both partners
The development of chronic physical or mental illness isn’t necessarily the deal-killer when it comes to sex, but it may significantly interfere with one or both partner’s libido. It may be fairly obvious how physical illness can become a limiting factor, but generally people with psychological disorders may lose sexual interest as a result of medication or self-doubts associated with stigma. Declines in sexual activity may potentially contribute to mental health problems, particularly if one or both partners feel that they are less attractive and desirable than they once were.

Guilt or conflict
Certainly, many people with strong religious convictions continue to enjoy a satisfying sex life, particularly if their religion places a high value on propagation. However, a lifetime of being exposed to religious teachings that place proscriptions on oral sex and masturbation may leak over and hamper the expression of sexual activity even within the marriage.

Generally, sexual activity is positively linked to relationship satisfaction, but there are still couples who don’t fit this pattern. They can maintain high relationship quality because their view of their relationship has shifted to define the sexless life as normative.

On the other hand, if a couple is celibate because their sexual relationship was unsatisfying or unfulfilling, then it stands to reason that they will experience high levels of sexual dissatisfaction. They may also start to stray from the marriage and seek sexual gratification in an extramarital affair, which may exact a high emotional toll both on the cheater and the cheated-upon.

[Rickey]

On the other hand, if a couple is celibate because their sexual relationship was unsatisfying or unfulfilling, then it stands to reason that they will experience high levels of sexual dissatisfaction. They may also start to stray from the marriage and seek sexual gratification in an extramarital affair, which may exact a high emotional toll both on the cheater and the cheated-upon.
Well said by bro =M4G=MrX= :)...yes, this is exactly wat is happening in a lot of marriages today judging from the sharing of so many bros in here...sigh

[stonned]

How I wish my wife will do that. Then it will make it easy for me to to file for seperation.

Bro, you don't need any reason to commence separation. You can initiate it anytime you want to. Either notify her by a proper text message or deeds of separation of she's willing to sign it. If you are really hard pressed to get a divorce, you can even use this (deprived of sex) as a reason. File it under unreasonable behaviour. But of course be prepared for a lengthy legal battle as your wife will likely contest it.

[Dignified69]

Encourage all bros in a sexless marriage to eat out . Just keep ur sanity . Dont divorce .

Divorce will be devastating when there are kids. This problem has to be nipped in the bud.

Within few years of marriage if this problem starts go straight for counselling. Give clear and direct threat of eating out.

Eating out is a short-term solution which is fun in the short term. In the long-term it will create resentment and bitterness which will creep into other areas of the marriage and even impact your mental health.

Sexless marriage is a strange and painful torture. You may have everything in the eyes of the world but not having this one thing will eat you up

[nkyc]

I struggled with the idea of divorce recently. But strangely what worked for me is i was upfront and threaten my wife with it to say that I'm angry with her and explored the idea of divorce... Immediately she cry and we managed to work something out. Definitely not easy but i think being truthful and not hiding my emotion helped me and my wife. Of course not all relationships are the same, just sharing to help cheer up the bros who are down and struggling with thoughts of divorce

[lilmei]

I struggled with the idea of divorce recently. But strangely what worked for me is i was upfront and threaten my wife with it to say that I'm angry with her and explored the idea of divorce... Immediately she cry and we managed to work something out. Definitely not easy but i think being truthful and not hiding my emotion helped me and my wife. Of course not all relationships are the same, just sharing to help cheer up the bros who are down and struggling with thoughts of divorce

I guess the sex improved? Did she have sex willingly or just going through the motion? If she's just going through the motion and no feel or love throughout the process also sianz, right?

[larue]

I struggled with the idea of divorce recently. But strangely what worked for me is i was upfront and threaten my wife with it to say that I'm angry with her and explored the idea of divorce... Immediately she cry and we managed to work something out. Definitely not easy but i think being truthful and not hiding my emotion helped me and my wife. Of course not all relationships are the same, just sharing to help cheer up the bros who are down and struggling with thoughts of divorce

Your anger towards her was just about the lack of sex with her?

You’re right though, it’s all about communicating and men are mostly terrible at it.