Wad would u do if it happens to u??

[chai1020]

Not sure whether this topic has been discussed be4 anot but it just happen to one of my good bro......he just got to know dat he actually has a daughter with his ex gf n she is already in K2 this year.....this news is a total shock to him n it has been making him lose his sleep n concentration in his work.....

So wad would u guys do if u were him cos his ex gf is not bk to make my frenz marry her or ask 4 money in fact she din wan my frenz to know abt this in the 1st place ( my frenz got to know abt this from her ex close frenz )

Now my bro is confussed as he is already married with a kid also well....He is not too worried abt her ex coming bk to create a scence or wad ....its just dat he finds it really hard to accept dat he has got another daughter suddenly...can see dat he is really guilty abt wad he did to his ex gf n his daughter even though he really din knew dat her ex gf got pregnant after they broke off.....

[no_faith]

since his ex-gf did not inform ur fren or ask for anything,
i suppose his ex-gf wans to live her life as it is wif her daughter.
she wans to forget everyting.

if ur fren goes to her, it might make things worse. why bring back the hurt?
maybe ur fren can gives sum finance support or any kind of support through her frenz?

imho, the best solution is juz leave the mother and daughter alone bah.

[Freman]

hi,

well,

if the daughter is really mine, I would really like to do some of my responsbilities as a father. I think it's the parental instinct in me.

[Rw6828]

I felt that since she wants to keep it from him, got to respect her wish and don't bring her more agony.

[5stars]

Real or not...

No matter what, you have to do your minimum parental duties - to support your new-found daughter.. In terms of daily expenses, education ... etc..

I would think that the ex-gf will find it tough to raise this child.

[Castrol]

So wad would u guys do if u were him cos his ex gf is not bk to make my frenz marry her or ask 4 money in fact she din wan my frenz to know abt this in the 1st place ( my frenz got to know abt this from her ex close frenz )


the ex gf come back from where? :confused:

the kid confirmed is his child? :confused:

[Megatronzombie]

I felt that since she wants to keep it from him, got to respect her wish and don't bring her more agony.

i concur unless the ex-gf is actually using her close fren to indirectly tell your fren ?

[chai1020]

hi,

well,

if the daughter is really mine, I would really like to do some of my responsbilities as a father. I think it's the parental instinct in me.

dat y my frenz so confused now its kinda hard 4 any1 to accept something like this i suppose


No matter what, you have to do your minimum parental duties - to support your new-found daughter.. In terms of daily expenses, education ... etc..

I would think that the ex-gf will find it tough to raise this child.[/FONT][/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Money is not really an issue to his gf as she is from an well to do family n she also has a stable imcome from wad i know

the ex gf come back from where? :confused:

the kid confirmed is his child? :confused:

A gathering with his ex gf's frenz n he was told by dat frenz his ex was pregnant with his child after they broke off...n he is quite sure dat its his child after some source

[Bramble]

Most important is to hv dna test to ascertain that the kid is his.

Then he need to decide what he want to do, acknowledge the kid or dont want, and whether if anything happen to him, hism money, does he want the kid to hv a share too?

On the whole it really up to him wat he want, don forget if he happily married, then what problems will arise ... and check whether little ger got follow his surname or another man's :eek:

[block11]

Most important is to hv dna test to ascertain that the kid is his.


yup, agree.... so many things could have happened after the breakup and only the lady will know. her friends may not know everything. if it was me, i will try to confirm with proof before anything else ;)

[techienator]

well.. if the ex doesn't want you to know in the first place, i think it will be best to steer clear for the time.. the lady might wan to raise the child up by herself as that is also her child..

unless you talked to the ex clearly and understand the whole situation.. otherwise it will not be wise to step in the picture.. by stepping in, you might be making the whole situation worst..

best is to help or support them from the side.. let them lead the current life that they are living..

[deptrai4u]

I think things usually not so simple one... if GF breakup with BF, then got child.. then GF go tell so many people but never tell BF, then engineer in such a way the BF got to know of this is a drama way....

What I can see is the likely the child is not even the guy's fault.

If GF really dun want the BF to know why in first place tell so many other people?

Approach this subject with care.. and if really BF's fault.. then we await a drama.. 20 years from now... on a very unexpected day.. son comes back and tell Daddy, this is my GF that I want to marry... and Daddy says "Boy boy! You CANNOT marry this girl!!!!!!!!! she is your ..........!!!"

As the drama unfolds and the plot thickens....

[KingEros]

why bring back the hurt?
imho, the best solution is juz leave the mother & daughter alone bah.
Yeah, I think this would be the best way ...

maybe ur fren can gives sum finance support or any kind of support through her frenz?
I suppose the ex would also not wanna accept any of such "pity" ...
But to lighten his own guilt, I guess your friend could start saving up for the daughter ... perhaps, buy an endowment policy or just open a savings account in her name (provided he can get her B/C number) ... otherwise, go to the lawyers to make a will including the daughter's name.

[dominion]

y not have him talk to his ex gf about it?

Any decision also must respect his ex gf's wishes since she raised the child up on her own till now. Having a chat also prevent any misunderstanding and can work to an agreeable compromise/ arrangement

[chai1020]

I suppose the ex would also not wanna accept any of such "pity" ...
But to lighten his own guilt, I guess your friend could start saving up for the daughter ... perhaps, buy an endowment policy or just open a savings account in her name (provided he can get her B/C number) ... otherwise, go to the lawyers to make a will including the daughter's name.[/QUOTE]

u r right bro his ex has already made her stand very clear dat she wont need any form of help from him n she just wanna bring this child up on her own which i feel in a way my frenz is lucky dat she din demand anything....

But ever since then my frenz had been thinking abt his child n also ways to make up to both of them but till now still dun hav any good solution

[no_faith]

u r right bro his ex has already made her stand very clear dat she wont need any form of help from him n she just wanna bring this child up on her own which i feel in a way my frenz is lucky dat she din demand anything....lidat, every party is happy.
now is look forward to the future.:)

[Judge Dread]

its just dat he finds it really hard to accept dat he has got another daughter suddenly...can see dat he is really guilty abt wad he did to his ex gf n his daughter even though he really din knew dat her ex gf got pregnant after they broke off.....

While I agree it came as shock to him but why should he feel guilty? He did not know, she did not tell him. Best to tell him to leave things as they are.

[janejane82]

So wad would u guys do if u were him cos his ex gf is not bk to make my frenz marry her or ask 4 money in fact she din wan my frenz to know abt this in the 1st place ( my frenz got to know abt this from her ex close frenz )

...

This gal has a strong pride and she loved ur fren too much to bear him a child.
Anyway, the stronger the love, the deeper the hurt. I suggest jus leaving them alone.
But of cos he can always secretly buy endowment policies or wat nots for his daughter like wat some bros mentoned b4...

[WillamSexsphere]

......... we await a drama.. 20 years from now... on a very unexpected day.. son comes back and tell Daddy, this is my GF that I want to marry... and Daddy says "Boy boy! You CANNOT marry this girl!!!!!!!!! she is your ..........!!!"

As the drama unfolds and the plot thickens....

As deptrai4u had written, that will be the cause and effect if you do not acknowledge the child. Morality is not a cloth you put on to show your piousness or show how good a person you are to others. Morality does have a purpose - it is to prevent conflict with one another as we live together as a civilised society.

Having a child out of wedlock is frowned upon by society, not just because its wrong but more because of the consequences that follows.

While we bros here may be the last people to be able to rise our heads up and talk about morality, we are not irresponsible people. As for me, i would acknowledge my own daughter, irregardless of what the woman feels. The kid is the blood of my blood and carries my genetic heritage.

Even if the mother wants nothing to do with me, i will make sure i bury the mistakes and baggages of the past and start afresh with her -as a friend, nothing more, so that at any time in her life when problems arises, i will be the first to know and render help if within my capability to a friend as well as to my daughter - a responsibility i will undertake for life -for each and every child is innocent and did not ask to be born.

We have a responsibility to correct our mistakes, otherwise, the guilt will tear our minds apart, even if society is not aware or owe us a living.

But that's me. Ultimately, each his own way and each responsible only to his own conscience. Sleep well, bro

Cheers:(

[cereal-killer]

Not sure whether this topic has been discussed be4 anot but it just happen to one of my good bro......he just got to know dat he actually has a daughter with his ex gf n she is already in K2 this year.....this news is a total shock to him n it has been making him lose his sleep n concentration in his work.....

So wad would u guys do if u were him cos his ex gf is not bk to make my frenz marry her or ask 4 money in fact she din wan my frenz to know abt this in the 1st place ( my frenz got to know abt this from her ex close frenz )

Now my bro is confussed as he is already married with a kid also well....He is not too worried abt her ex coming bk to create a scence or wad ....its just dat he finds it really hard to accept dat he has got another daughter suddenly...can see dat he is really guilty abt wad he did to his ex gf n his daughter even though he really din knew dat her ex gf got pregnant after they broke off.....

1. I think she's not contacting him or told him about the child becos'
she's not sure either who is the real father, she 'could' have 2-timed him or 3-timed him and going out with various partners. I think thats why she's not asking any money

2. She probably thought of seeking his help but later found out that his already married and have a child. So how to go back to him ? That would only spoil his marriage. It IS very brave of her to go on with life, and not spoil another.

3. Maybe he should do what she did ( the bravery part ) and tell his current wife about it. Wife would probably understand his situation... it was not like he was fking behind her back.... they were an item way before they got married any way .... probably he can seek his wife's opinion on this.

================================================== =====

My ex-gf still contacts me every once a year to see how our lives has been, and there was one time, she 'some how' slipped and said that I am the father of her baby-boy. When i questioned her again... she said, she said it wrongly :p

I have the boy's photo and I have NO resemblence to him (vis versa)... she's happily married to a swedish man in Norway now. :)

But i suspect your friend does not have some one taking care of her .... I still think she's very brave.

[qw2op]

Not sure whether this topic has been discussed be4 anot but it just happen to one of my good bro......he just got to know dat he actually has a daughter with his ex gf n she is already in K2 this year......

爸爸闭翳?


:p

[JWNY]

We have a responsibility to correct our mistakes, otherwise, the guilt will tear our minds apart, even if society is not aware or owe us a living.
We are not always given the opportunity to correct our mistakes :)

JWNY

[tomvoyeur]

if the daughter is really mine, I would really like to do some of my responsbilities as a father. I think it's the parental instinct in me.

Its also the right of the other party to lead their own lives so its better to seek the consent of the gal before intruding into their lives...

Yeah, I think this would be the best way ...


I suppose the ex would also not wanna accept any of such "pity" ...
But to lighten his own guilt, I guess your friend could start saving up for the daughter ... perhaps, buy an endowment policy or just open a savings account in her name (provided he can get her B/C number) ... otherwise, go to the lawyers to make a will including the daughter's name.

No matter what, you have to do your minimum parental duties - to support your new-found daughter.. In terms of daily expenses, education ... etc..

If this is to ease the guilt ridden conscience, then its better to go along Bro KingEros' suggestion to quietly set aside some kitty for this 'daughter' and perhaps leave a portion of ur estate to her when u r gone.....

1. I think she's not contacting him or told him about the child becos'
she's not sure either who is the real father, she 'could' have 2-timed him or 3-timed him and going out with various partners. I think thats why she's not asking any money

But utimately, I dun think its wise to assume that the child is his unless a valid confirmation is obtained.....So just set aside a small sum of cash for the possibility that the child is indeed yours n the ex-gal seek some financial contribution for her up-bringing......Meanwhile, leave this secret in ur darkest corner n dun re-visit it....The guilt will eventually consume if you spend too much time reminising on the past.....

[SharkMan]

wah lao... got do any DNA test or not??? Really confirm his?:confused:

[louis2002]

Not sure whether this topic has been............its just dat he finds it really hard to accept dat he has got another daughter suddenly...can see dat he is really guilty abt wad he did to his ex gf n his daughter even though he really din knew dat her ex gf got pregnant after they broke off.....

Brave & strong women, if she is a single parent, she lagi strong…..

[ronn80]

I would surely have a good talk with the gal. And possibly do an dna test to confirm. If it is my child, i would definately want to take responsibility for that. Imagine the feeling of the child as she grows up without a father. Kind of sad.
But if the ex is living happily with another man and the man treating the child well. I guess i would back out. Never good to brak them up and cause problems all over again.
But no matter what is done, the guilt will forever be there.

[combatus]

well, years ago i had a fling wif my colleague which lasted 2yrs. she's a mother of a gal (& me a dad of 3 boys) & at some point in time, while we were making out, she told me she wished to hv a boy...to which i jokingly said i'll giv her one....& she made me cummed in her that week (we hd sex almost daily)....after abt 1 mth, she missed her period :eek:

i asked her if the baby's mine but she denied saying she also had sex wif her hubby (which i later found out was only once to twice a mth) but still she deny & insist the baby's her hubby & asked me not to persue further.

we continue to see each other & i bought her tonics & stuffs for the baby....abt a year later, the same thing happened again & she had another baby boy. again she denied it's mine but somehow i believe she knows better.

anyway, although we are not together anymore, we still kept in contact occassionally & i get to hear of the boys development & see their pics which seems to resemble me alittle. but to this day she still deny it's mine & i find it pointless to persue the matter. however, i've told myself that maybe, just maybe, i should include these 2 boys in my WILL......:cool:

[MMM88]

Its tragic ......a circumstances which created long time ago .....unfortunately , u cunt cry over spilled milk.....:(
nevertheless , as responsible father (if t child really his) , one cunt shrugged away the responsibilities of bringing up and educating t kid ....especially so here , where bring up kid(s) can b so expensive ......
well, u frenz can explore ;
1) Everything remain as status quo - but inform his wife of t kid n his responsibility in bringing up and educating n spending some Q time with her (his child) , n of course not jeopardizing his family (wife and their kid) .

2) A blessing if his EX can find someone she loves and get marry .

Cunt help to feel sorry for t little girl growing up w/o father ......haiiiiiii:(

[lls8]

I think things usually not so simple one... if GF breakup with BF, then got child.. then GF go tell so many people but never tell BF, then engineer in such a way the BF got to know of this is a drama way....

What I can see is the likely the child is not even the guy's fault.

If GF really dun want the BF to know why in first place tell so many other people?

Approach this subject with care.. and if really BF's fault.. then we await a drama.. 20 years from now... on a very unexpected day.. son comes back and tell Daddy, this is my GF that I want to marry... and Daddy says "Boy boy! You CANNOT marry this girl!!!!!!!!! she is your ..........!!!"

As the drama unfolds and the plot thickens....

--------------------------------------------------------------

How do u know she tells so many peoples? Mayb she told her one & only close friend who probe or who she trust! It is a risk for her to lie cos DNA could easily confirmed. So dun just assume negatively. It is already a pity to be a single mother. The daughter must be asking & wondering who is her dad wen she sees all her other frens have dad. Have some considerations to the single mother. Reputation of single mothers are always not positive. God bless.:(

[Judge Dread]

In life you make your own bed and sleep in it. While I got nothing against single mums, I will however have issues if they expect society to give them a break just because of their lifestyle choices.

[MMM88]

I think things usually not so simple one... if GF breakup with BF, then got child.. then GF go tell so many people but never tell BF, then engineer in such a way the BF got to know of this is a drama way....

Approach this subject with care.. and if really BF's fault.. then we await a drama.. 20 years from now... on a very unexpected day.. son comes back and tell Daddy, this is my GF that I want to marry... and Daddy says "Boy boy! You CANNOT marry this girl!!!!!!!!! she is your ..........!!!"

As the drama unfolds and the plot thickens....

yo ......u watch too much drama liao....:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

[SuckerforSYTs]

I would engage a PI to confirm she is not attached, and if she is alone, I will pay her a visit and maybe get a strand of hair or fingernail for checks.

If confirmed to be mine, policies and financial assistance on the side would be provided with no strings attached.

[Shoe]

How come nobody mention about his current wife? :confused:

I suggest he discuss with his current wife first, tell her that he might have one daughter outside (not confirm yet), i believe she wont blame him too, afterall it happen before they married.

Better check what her reaction first. ;)

[chai1020]

Greatful for all the advise from bros here told my frenz wad i read from here n told him to think things out slowly.....cos in the end the final decision still lies in his ex cos from wad i heard n know she is very sure dat she wans to bring this child up on her own without any form of help from my frenz.....

My frenz on the other hand has promise her dat he would be willing to help in any way in future....n he is also considering to breaks the news to his current wife as he wont wan her to find out on her own one day.....so i can only wish him the nest of luck n hope his wife would be able to understand dat things happen in the past n not now.....lastly he would liked me to thank all bros for their kind advise :)

[Gixer]

Not sure whether this topic has been discussed be4 anot but it just happen to one of my good bro......he just got to know dat he actually has a daughter with his ex gf n she is already in K2 this year.....this news is a total shock to him n it has been making him lose his sleep n concentration in his work.....

Bro is your friend sure the kid is his? Women do strange things when heartbroken or confused. Maybe she had a one night stand or gangbang and then had the kid, cannot contact the father. I am sure most families will insist the father take responsibility once they know the daughter is pregnant.

If it is his, he should at least have a say in the kids life and support her. She is a part of him anyway.

Thats why I don't donate sperm to the sperm bank. But I have been a little indiscriminate with my recreational fucking when I was younger, so maybe it could happen to any of us.

[Nan Hong Gui]

yo ......u watch too much drama liao....:rolleyes:

ha ha agree :)

[WillamSexsphere]

n he is also considering to breaks the news to his current wife as he wont wan her to find out on her own one day


!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :eek: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


err....do consider the character of the wife first! If she is jealous kind, you can kiss your marital bliss goodbye forever. If she is the calm and patient kind, there is still hope.

Women do not understand the word 'Honour' like we bros do. While we men will want to be honest and truthful in a relationship at all times, but there are times when such brutally frank honesty will only tear the family asunder.

Ignorance is bliss. As your friend's affair is before marriage, his conscience is clear and did nothing wrong to harm his current marital vows. But most women will NOT be able to handle the truth, as much as they claim they are impartial - talk is cheap.

Best leave things as they are, introduce the kids as whatever acceptable reasons to the wife, - goddaughter, best buddy's kid, long lost first cousins, etc.


.