Confession of a bastard

[Freman]

Do you believe in fate ?

I've been on the cheong scene for a long time, mostly roaming among the irc channels. I would say that my first irc session was at least a good 8-9 years back.

Back then, during the age of innocence, things were alot simplier and gals were alot easier to hook. It was during this time that I first met adeline. Without going into great details, she was easy going during the chat and pretty fun loving and best of all, only 16 yrs old. Being at that age, I was able to kinda boast about my experience and introduce her to many of the forbidden pleasures of sex. Being the naive sec sch gal with a whole lorry load of family problem, she just wanted a friend (mature perhaps to listen to her problems) and was also entice by the many stories that I told her.

I can't exactly remember the exact circumstances (it was 8 years ago) but we met and we fucked. Being the horny bastard that I was then, I wasn't interested in much about her except her pussy and tits. In short, I was just making use of her. And, again, being the horny bastard that I was during that time, I didn't really care less. We screwed for a few sessions, she would complain about her school, the guys around her and her family problems. yada yada yada. I did my best to feign interest but was in truth waiting for my cock to re-charge. This was how it went for a couple of months.

The last time I saw adeline, she was in trouble, apparently gotten bang up by some guy and 2 months pregnant. It was pretty vague, but I remember bringing her to the ATM, and drawing $300 bucks for her (she wasn't a FL but I reckon she needs the dough for abortion etc). And being the horny bastard that I was (3rd time saying), we actually proceed to a hotel and bang, this time, shooting straight in (reasoning that since she is already preg, what the heck). I know guys, it's not safe etc but that was 8 years ago.

That was the last I saw of adeline, cos subsequently, I was spending a great deal of time overseas (due to work). She called me a couple of times but I was overseas and didn't wanted to entertain this 'problem kid'. Satisfied that I made off with several rounds of sex with a mere $300.

Geessh, thinking back, all these years, I realised what a jerk I was, to have treated someone whom, from what I can recall, treated me with sincerity and love (in a way) and how I wasn't even bothered with her as a person and was just looking for a hole to fill my urge. Betrayal, destroying her faith in guys and adults (she was 16, I was 32). She must have really hated me.

Such are the emotions called regret. All these years, I never really have forgotten what I did. Each time I was feeling miserable (work, family etc), I would sit back in my room and turn on my fav stack of sad songs (mp3), the only way I know how to ride out my sorrow. And each time, I would remember adeline, how I met her, seduce her, misled her and how I made use of her. On our first meet up, she wore her fav skirt that her mom bought from australia, all I can think of was ripping it off the moment she got into the car and closed the door. Somehow, I would conclude that whatever ass luck that has happened to me, it was probably heaven's way of punishing me. I probably deserved it, in another word.

Zoom back to the present, 2007. I would dare say that I'm still as horny as ever, but no longer a bastard. Sex is no longer a 1 sided enjoyment of my part but joined pleasure between me and the girl. I learnt to talk, and learn more about the person, to be sincere and to be honest (I quit telling gals that I was single, and opt to reveal my married status). Different people look for the comfort of sex for different reasons. I realised that girls could and would sometime accept my status and would offer their friendship in return. This was how things were, I would feel happy and proud on how I was handling this situation. Yet, from the distant past, the name adeline keeps surfacing and I know there's a special spot in hell that the devil had save for me.

So that was the case, I was roaming in my fav channel once again, trying my luck on gals, and finally managed to strike up a rather interesting conversation with a new gal. We talked about stuff, fantasies and kinks and got ourselves worked up till a stage when I pop the magical (wanna chat on phone ?) Q. To my surprise, the answer was a swift Yes, and we chatted on the phone, a good hour or so. She's just my type, intelligence, witty, holds a great job (she's an engineering and doing night classes as well).

So there we were, exhausted and panting on the phone at 3 am in the morning, and I believed I hit the correct chord, she gave me her msn id and told me that she's going to grab a bite and was going to pop into msn cos she needs to check on some email.

I quickly ran to my computer (praying that I wouldn't forget her msn email addy) and behold, she was online, munching on her grass jelly.

we chatted more, and my liking of her was growing. I think she must have felt the same way...

"so is there a face behind the voice ?"

I knew what she wanted. Heck, I'm a pretty ordinary guy, plain, at best.. but somehow, I felt it was okie. So I clicked on my 'change display picture' and loaded up one of my 'best effort' photo.

She did the same, and a photo of a lady in a nice evening dress came up. Since it was full body photo, the face was really small but overall, it was a lovely photo.

hmmmm... MSN seems to be suffering from one of it's notorious hang up session, or she must have gone to the toilet. For the screen paused for about a min or 2. I was thinking at the back of my mind. *FUCK* another failed attempt, gal probably realised that she was talking to a dirty old man.

In the dead of the night, seconds seem like minutes. And eventually, a single message flashes across my msn window.

"did you say your name is william ?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

btw, this is not a story. Everything is real, names have been changed however.

[Bramble]

Wah surprise cumin up, colleague? Schoolmate? ..

[WRX_STI]

Wah surprise cumin up, colleague? Schoolmate? ..
think it will be adeline ;)

[Bramble]

think it will be adeline ;)

Woh, bro you are rite .... u can be scriptwriter liao ... :)

[ahtas]

Very interesting story!!!Keep it up!

[Kunotz]

I think like bros said ... his 1st IRC contact .... :)

[pics]

Waiting for more..:)

[pokeman71]

indeed you was a bastard then, hope this time round you are saint

[Kunotz]

indeed you was a bastard then, hope this time round you are saint

Haha ... maybe he married her in the end ... paiseh TS, awaiting your 2nd episode ..

[Ur_anus]

continue bro... cool

[nyquist]

Great start to a suspense ahead.

[birdie8819]

Nice story for me to camp here , keep it cuming bro Freman .

[jdi813]

from the way the story is going i can only hazard a guess that once again an act of utter randomness has brought u n adeline together again :rolleyes:

[pokeman71]

Haha ... maybe he married her in the end ... paiseh TS, awaiting your 2nd episode ..

We shall wait for a happy ending

[XboxSG]

Let's hope ter's a happy ending

[Freman]

erm,

it's not a story, and ending is unknown, I only bumped into adeline last Thursday night.....

anyway, for bros who is camping here for sex stories, sorry to disappoint... I just need to get this off my chest cos it has really been troubling me all these years....

whatever you do, (if you like my confession, up me), please do not up me because you think that this is a cool thing to do to a young girl....

and for those bros who asked me for contact..... yes, I'll ask satan to add a sofa in my spot so that you can join me there one day...

[Freman]

btw, something did happened on Friday (as fate has it),
I shall write it down once I find time to word it properly.

[HuiGe3387]

Please continue story. Everyone makes mistakes in their life. Move on.

[gokkunbazooka]

Bro Freman,

Regret is something that many of us would have, especially when it comes to taking advantage of a chick to satisfy our sexual urge. Many of us (including myself) share the same regrets. You're one brave soul to come forward to confess your guilt.

As such, I do the same as yourself now, declare my marital status to newly acquainted chicks and if they do wish to continue "knowing" me, I take it that they are willing "participants".

I believe that whatever we do (to a WL or newly acquainted chick), we just have to make sure that we have the safety interest for our better half. As for myself, I make sure that I use a condom EVERYTIME for every WL or GF, so that I do not pass on any nonsense to my wife. Even when I'm doing it with my wife, I use protection and she does not do BBBJ. We do not have kids yet, but I'll definitely get myself checked thoroughly before even doing it raw with my wife.

[forumer]

applaude you for your honesty :)

[Freman]

Part II
---------

erm... shit !! she's my co-worker ? friends ? friend's wife ? wife's friend ? in-laws ? na bei, picture so small can still recognised me.

in all honestly, I was frighten that after so many years of cheonging, my cover was finally blown. It would be an disgrace, what if my wife gets to know it eventually...

"do you remember ever meeting a 16 young old girl, maybe 7-8 years ago ?, I used to stay in queenstown, and etc etc etc...."

for a moment, I was confused, hmmm.. what girl ? 8 years ago ?? OMG, *alarm bells were setting off*... there could only be 1 person ....

"hmmm.. I guessed you don't remember..... I used to know a WILLIAM back then too, he looks like you"

should I jump out from hiding ? and shout "da da". How was I expecting her to react ?

I said "erm... I'm not sure... (trying to delay the moment) ... I think maybe we met before lor.... (and again) so small photo you can tell meh ?"

"OMG, you're really WILLIAM... my goodness.... how ARE you !!! all these years.... MIA ah ? so I'm right *grin*"

geesshh, I was half expecting her to either block me... or go at me like a beast .... this is not the reaction I expected. After all, didn't I ? yes yes, I was the bastard. Maybe this was a case of mistaken identity.

I asked "but just now you say your name not adeline mah...."

I've blown my cover. She no longer uses that name, a name that only I (or any other 8 years ago FBs) could have known.

This whole thing is throwing me off course, all those nights of self regret and imagination at how revenge would come. This was all wrong.

Further chatting that night revealed more abt what happened to her. After the pregnancy case, (she aborted it), she sunk even lower into all sort of mess. And somehow, she manages to go through poly, then her first job. Then to a part time degree course (which she just completed).

No wonder I couldn't tell from her voice. The ah-lian from my past have transformed herself. While she used to use alot of chinese and singlish in the past, she uses English nowadays. And her background, gosh, was so different. No longer the problem kid from a broken family, she now has a career... and also... as I later found out, a fiancee.

We chatted on for a while, it was around coming to 4 in the morning.... "don't you need to sleep or something ?", oh no, there's a test on Sat, she's on study leave.... and she pops the question "free for lunch tomorrow ? I mean today.."

hmm.. ahh.. maybe she plans to lure me out and ambuse me, and then get her brother, uncle to dispose of my body.

Got test right ? so free ah ?? no need to studying ?? "still have to eat right ?"

so that was how it went. After we went offline, I still wasn't able to sleep. I was staring at my ceiling and thinking. A thousand thoughts crossed my mind. Before long, I can hear the familiar rumble of the SBS buses... the first ray of light, yup... this is gonna be a interesting day....

-----------------------------------------------------------------
and so it was, that I met her for lunch.....
then for drinks....
the memory is still fresh in my mind... at this point, only 48 hours ago....

[Freman]

not very sleepy, maybe I can finish it...

certain information from this point is kinda confidential. As I mentioned, this is not a sex story (sorrie to all brothers...)

life holds many surprises, and this is one of them.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

my dear adeline... I was thinking as I waited beneath her block waiting for her to appear.

Never in my dreams would I think that we will actually go have lunch together. It was never like this. During those times, I would just pick her up, go find a room, and bang bang bang away, then $15 for her to take a cab back home (can't even be bothered to send her back).

The thoughts that were going thru my mind, like a whirlwind of confusion. At several point, I comtemplated driving off, escape always seem like a easier solution. What the hell am I here for ? What do I expect to gain out of this ?

25 mins late. Must be aeroplane, etc, I didn't want to call her. Half hoping that I can get myself off the hook in this manner. Could it be that she doesn't want to see me ? Makes no sense, otherwise, why would she even suggest lunch ?

*ring ring*... apologies, she just woke up... 10 mins.... I'm rushing down....

and minutes later.... I heard a voice from behind "WILLIAM !!" ...

na bei... uncle usually quite tactically, sitting on the stone bench, facing the lift door... no surprised ... I think this is standard cheong rule when meeting new faces, we want to see them coming... if baby elephant, scram, if 'IT', scram.... how the hell ?! *she must be staying 2nd or 3rd floor and walked down*

there before me, gosh....somewhat familiar, somewhat not.... gosh.... adeline... my adeline..... a harder stare at the grinning girl standing infront of me..... yes..... my adeline.....

we got on to the car, and went hunting for a lunch location.

She was happily chirpping away, like a bird that just escaped from her confinement. I was still trying to absorb the situation. Driving silently to our location.

We were sitting in a restaurant, she was still talking happily about stuff, things that happened after we lost contact, she didn't understand why we lost contact, and it wasn't easy to maintain a friendship, with the kind of mess that she was in. Family problems, debt problems, ah beng BF problems. I was sitting like a miserable duck, opposite her, barely touching my plate of pasta.

quick, blame me, blast me, curse me, attack me..... I need this... I want this... it's the only way that I will feel better.

No, it wasn't to be. She doesn't blame anyone, or anything that happened to her. She says that it's part of life, and growing up. She didn't want to feel like the victim, and lead a life of blaming others and hatred. What is the point about feeling miserable ? It's not going to solve anything. *huh*confused*.. in the end, she didn't really blamed anyone, not her gambling father, wayward friends... etc.. "you can't live life that way you know"

"WILLIAM, thanks for being my friend when I needed help." *another confusion... she's talking about the $300 ?* "now that we're back in contact, I have another friend"

adeline adeline.... she showed me how much better a person she was, and just how crap I have been. She never blamed me. Oh my horrible deeds, I should burn in hell..... I still feebly wished that she would grab that knife (great, fish n chip, blunt, should hurt alot) and stab me with me. DAMN, I've been waiting all these years for this. KILL ME !!!

nO no, she changed her name, dump her crappy friends (i was thinking, dump me, I'm the worst) and started anew. Her fiancee was a honest and dependable guy (somewhat boring according to her, but heck, everyone needs someone like that in their life) but knows nothing of her past. Her colleagues etc, whom she's never closed to, know her simply as one of the engineers. Her part time studying took it's toll, she doesn't have much friends, and her classmates, accordingly to her, immature, comfortable background, never to worry much of life. In effect, I was someone from the past, whom she can talk about things that she will never be able to tell anyone else.

After lunch, we walked back to my car, I was silent, and she didn't know why. In the car, I suddenly turned, grabbed her hands,

"adeline, I am really really really sorry of what I did in the past, I.... I....", I can clearly count the number of times I cried in my adult life. The last time was when I heard my son's heartbeat for the first time, through the speaker of the ultra sound machine. And now was such a time. I need to say this. I'm really sorry, this is not the ME that I am now. Believe me, I.... I...."

In her eyes, I was never the bastard. How can that be even possible ?

I drove her to NUS and dropped her at the library, where she was supposed to study for her test.

On AYE, driving to meet my brother for coffee when my phone beeped.

"no mood to study, you wanna turn back ?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------
my life have been in a state of un-reality (is there such a word ?) for the past 3 days.

This sounds more like a script from a 9 PM channel 8 serial.

My God... I'm damn lost..... this is not cheong-ing.... I don't even know what to do.

I didn't turn back, but later that nite, we went holland v for drinks. I don't think I will want to write anymore about it. That was 24 hours ago.

I'm married with 2 kids. She's engaged. WTF.

[soberguy]

Thank you for the story!

[Freman]

Thank you for the story!

it's a confession, not a story brother.

hoped brothers here can share their opinion. I don't know what the future will bring. or what will happen.

My resolve is notoriously weak.

For my part, I'm just happy that closure has come, for this episode in my life.

[Mensa]

Kudos to you n hope this free your anguished soul .... hope everything ok next time you meet her ... she forgive you liao or she don't think u did anything erong ....

[kameo69]

Bro Freman,

Thanks for sharing your regret and I think you are getting a closure after all these years... being the bastard you called yourself. You should know what to do next. I just want to know whether you want to get out and keep it as it is, be a family man, or continue with her?

To continue with her as a friend, is next to impossible. I understand the temptation, especially after the 'forgiveness'... your sense of relief after all these years... so, why not start again? Sooner or later, you will likely cross that line and that is the emotional danger zone, for her as well as for yourself. This time round, the damage will not be only between the two of you only...

I have a wife too. I'm not perfect and I'm a sucker for new experience... which is not good. For sex, I would rather pay the chick for a one-time event, and not get emotional attachment. I know the temptation once you start it... like a drug addict... and I'm in a struggle to end all soon, and stay a family man.

[X I N]

Bro Freman,
yourself. You should know what to do next. I just want to know whether you want to get out and keep it as it is, be a family man, or continue with her?

To continue with her as a friend, is next to impossible. I understand the temptation, especially after the 'forgiveness'... your sense of relief after all these years... so, why not start again? Sooner or later, you will likely cross that line and that is the emotional danger zone, for her as well as for yourself. This time round, the damage will not be only between the two of you only...

I have a wife too. I'm not perfect and I'm a sucker for new experience... which is not good. For sex, I would rather pay the chick for a one-time event, and not get emotional attachment. I know the temptation once you start it... like a drug addict... and I'm in a struggle to end all soon, and stay a family man.

So it boils down to this can a man and a woman be just platonic fren ... with the wife outside the pic ...

[_AXL_]

In her eyes, I was never the bastard. How can that be even possible?

yes, it is possible cos there is a bigger bastard who knocked her up and ran off. u paid for her abortion, even when the child wasnt yours. to her, u r the one who solved her immediate problems. without your precious $300, u think she could be studying in NUS now, facing a much brighter future?

but u r married with children, so tread with care. knowing when to pull out of the sexual relationship is key here... looking forward to further development... cheers.;)

[nawtgree]

bro, in ur own eyes u're the bastard...but i guess with her in that kind of situation, there are worst ppl which she could have met and i guess she felt you were already very kind towards her.....

but then again..you know ur situation, u are married with kids and she is engaged...staying friends would be a much better option though i doubt it would be possible frm the way it is progressing now...:o

[Forever Young]

Anyway this is still ongoing, just go with the flow n see wat happen, mo point fretting over it n grew more white hair :)

[Megatronzombie]

hi Bro Freman,

Your confession is a good one... and I'll like to say my few cents worth, hope you will accept what I say... if not... well, dun read on heehee :D

Not many people can get a 2nd chance (I do NOT mean bonking the girl again!! read on..) at righting their mistakes etc (if you wanna call it that..) or I should say 'regrets'. And even lesser people have a chance of getting off easy. You are right when you are wondering why she didnt blame you for it that you got off light. But I realised girls have a strange view to life than guys, guys take things more seriously and sometimes more heavily than girls and girls usually recover better than guys... still that doesnt mean you can go round two with them which would probably yeah definitely hell in the afterlife.

I feel that most of us cheong because we need to fulfill that lust that our other half can't provide but making things complicated is something none of us should do unless we feel we can shoulder and live with it... lust and nothing more because men have needs, but if we start playing with feelings or abusing our understanding of other's feelings, thats crossing the line to being bad or evil. Most of us will try not to do that I would believe and I think by writing this confession here you may be, in a very small sense confused about what to do next (unless you done it liao).

Its very simple I think, correct me if I am wrong... you have been given a 2nd chance to make things right and apparently you believe that God may be testing you yet AGAIN! You are thinking there is a chance that she is willing to go to bed with you again perhaps you think she wants closure too or something.

The question here is: (a) do you wanna keep things as being good friends and help her along the right path, show her ethe right way etc? or (b) do what you do best, get her to bed for short medium term satisfaction?

I would believe in your heart, you really do know the answer to that question... I won't name it to you but I would just advise you that short and medium term gains are usually not very good for the long term :) There really are cause and effect in this world and sometimes playing with feelings could just tip the balance too much and cause pain and suffering to one self or to others (e.g. adeline, your wife, whoever, the guy putting newspapers at your doorstep in the morning etc)...

So think twice before you let your natural instincts, that side of your brain that knows what you do best with girls takes over. Remember that sometimes being good have their own rewards and satisfaction... it may not be material or can be seen wit hte naked eyes but its there all the same... and maybe... maybe you wont need to listen tothose sad mp3s anymore.... Cheers!! If you dun like what I said, just treat it as a joke... just trying to help. Take care!

[janejane82]

Do you believe in fate ?

Such are the emotions called regret. All these years, I never really have forgotten what I did. Each time I was feeling miserable (work, family etc), I would sit back in my room and turn on my fav stack of sad songs (mp3), the only way I know how to ride out my sorrow. And each time, I would remember adeline, how I met her, seduce her, misled her and how I made use of her.



Good for u dat u've finally gotten it off ur chest *pats ur back
i'm actually v curious and have some qns for u (if u dun feel comfortable answering, its ok. cos like i mentioned, i'm jus curious)
hmm .. has it ever occured to u y after so many years, u still regret/ feel remorseful/miserable over wat u did to her? was it cos she's ur 1st encounter or was it she's the only one u've "made use of" or .... ??

[mmmok]

A very interesting confession. :)

[smellycat]

it's a confession, not a story brother.

hoped brothers here can share their opinion. I don't know what the future will bring. or what will happen.

My resolve is notoriously weak.

For my part, I'm just happy that closure has come, for this episode in my life.

maybe she just needs a friend.... just take it 1 step at a time and don't do anything silly. all the best! ;)

[dirtymonk82]

Revenge is a dish best served cold. You would not know what she is intending to do. Better to be safe than sorry if you wish to keep your current life in a stable state. Bro freman, IMHO, i think you better dont proceed any further with this adeline other than being as a simple fren.

[Tarterus]

ya agree with bro dirtymonk... better be safe than sorry.

[Freman]

Good for u dat u've finally gotten it off ur chest *pats ur back
i'm actually v curious and have some qns for u (if u dun feel comfortable answering, its ok. cos like i mentioned, i'm jus curious)
hmm .. has it ever occured to u y after so many years, u still regret/ feel remorseful/miserable over wat u did to her? was it cos she's ur 1st encounter or was it she's the only one u've "made use of" or .... ??

hi,

I think my behavior at that time was really bastard. My regret is to let my lust take over what I should have done as a good person. I think I objectised her, without basic respect. etc, when she's having period, I would find excuses not to meet her etc. *bastard reasons again*....

I once talked to another brother, he was telling me abt PRC FL, "no need to be gentle one, just enjoy, shiok, even pattern they dun want, just whack, PRC onli what, whole street full of them, 1 drop, 2 will take their place, they here to sell body mah !". Needless to say, you can imagine how I felt. Feel damn hot, then her name pops in my mind again. I was once this sort of people. People cannot treat people.

yes, I hoped I can just be a friend to her from this point onwards. But this is now, calmly sitting in my room. On my part, I think I wouldn't initiate anything.
How many brothers can resist ? if given the chance.

maybe just thinking too much.

[kameo69]

Hi bro,

I support you and your control... good job! Remember the two beacon of lights running in your house if you are lost.

[prince_81]

continuation of story?

and then you turn back meet her and bonk her raw?

after bonking session she told you that congrats you are also HIV positive? cos she passed it on to you?

haha just a joke .. :)

[pokeman71]

Bro,

So we are not going to have bonking story fron adeline is it???

Hope that your big head can control over the small head

[yang punk]

Friend...the fact that we are here means that we ARE all bastards in one way or another. Just that some are not aware and therefore write so moralistically.

Didn't it occur to you that Adeline, though 16, was also on the net trawling for a 'partner in crime'? Wasn't she also unfaithful to the bf who knocked her up and left her dangling with a problem which in a way you helped her solve with the $300. Didn't it occur to you that... if it wasn't you it could have been some other bastard (and perhaps there were others who only used her as a ons) who did not help her with even 1 cent?

She was probably a problem teenager BUT fortunately for her she has matured and has set her life on the right track. An angel she may not be (wasn't she on the net trawling again in spite of having a steady relationship, a fiance?).

She probably did not tell you the whole truth about her life and relationships. Perhaps she is highly sexed and her fiance is unable to satisfy her...therefore she is still looking for no strings attached ons!

Now it boils down to your own maturity...if you want to be a good husband and father...don't even think of paid sex or free ons with adeline or anyone like her. Whether paid sex with a fl, a geylang pros or a willing ons... you are still cheating on your wife. Period! But if you are an 'honest' bastard like most of us here...who cannot resist another pussy, then I think Adeline will turn out to be the perfect sex buddy.

You satisfy her needs and she satisfy yours...no strings attached and no past baggage to lug along. Just 2 mature adults who know how to be descreet and keep the affair under wraps so as not to hurt the other parties.

My 2 cts...and take care.

[genmes]

Bro freman, IMHO, i think you better dont proceed any further with this adeline other than being as a simple fren.

agree with bro dirtymonk..sex buddy is very appealing but can be the root of problems in the future.
I prefer paid sex though, no string attached and no trace...just touch and go :o

[cyrus]

Women can be very dangerous. Who knows if she is getting back at you, slowly ... so better not to step beyond the line. Just my 2 cents worth.

[SapienKia]

After reading the pages, I think Bro Freman should just take it as it come ... go with the flow, don lose sleep over this , if meet again, see wat happen, no necessary bonk again rite ... regarding the past, forget it lah, take both hands to clap ... at least u got give her some $. Chit chat on msn, meet up, bonk, .... no strings attached lah ..

[fastbiker82]

Brother Freman,

It is good to confess your misdeeds in the past which clearly evidenced that over the past 8 years, you have indeed matured ever since those days. I fully understand the plight u are in, but hope you can treat it as a learning experience in life and move on from this point. Future is behold in your hands - any imprudent decision could cause severe repercussion to your family and career.

[Xgenre]

Since you feel comfortable enough with this medium of communication (sammyboy) to share so much of your story, why don't you write the rest of your experiences and treat this as a blog? I'm sure you didn't use your real name.

If you do so, you can draw on a variety of opinions to decide what you can do from now on. Instead of facing a situation alone and not knowing what to do except to let it out via an internet forum, why not use this internet forum to source for solutions on how to move on from here?

[EvilInside]

Be it getting FL, ONS, or FB for bonging, I guess everyone need a reason to convince oneself to go forward with the action. I have friend who said Geylang is not a place that he will step into. Until he was brought to the CAT150 8-9 yr back, he mentioned that the place is secluded.

Now he frequently went there to walk walk Lor 8-10. And married with a kid now, he still pull me down with him when he able to...

In short, everyone just need a first reason to go do the "bastard" action.

[Horchew]

10Q for your story, thank Sammyboy for the opportunity to release your pent-up regrets....

My take is that, she's grown up maturely & so should you (free yourself fro the guilt) She's forgiven herself for all those silly mistakes of wrong-friends, delinquencies she might hav done previously, so you've also firgive yourself & forget "The Bastard" in the old you.

As she puts it "That's not the way to lead life". You hav to go through the "Baptism of Fire" to free yourself fro blame and guilt. Carry on with your responsible family life, anew & afresh from those taunting regrets. Her optimism in life has redeemed your self-guilt. Jus treat her "responsibly" whichever way both of you wants to carry on tiz relationship.

If threaded "Responsibly & Sensibly", tiz relationship could be describe more as a 'Soul-mate' / Confidant level in future. Try to minimise physical contacts, if meeting up best if in public places, hav your (or her's) spouse ard. Maybe being good-family friends???? Confiding/contacts could B either through phone calls periodically, sms or net-chats. Tat way both of U could reduce physical temptations.

Jus my thoughts, whether it works still depends on both your determination.
But just remember the consequences B4 allowing sexual temptations get the better of you both. Thread cautiously, draw the lines clearly with her & speak out for her opinion & draw your conclusion fro her opinion (whether she can maintain future friendship wth U without any sexual innuedos) N best of luck!

[dickrick]

... I don't know what the future will bring. or what will happen.
My resolve is notoriously weak...

Bro nobody knows what the future will bring. Somehow, call it fate, luck whatever, you've been able to find closure. I think that's the main thing.
But...be careful that you don't get into a relationship, in moments like this most people are very vulnerable. Cheers!

[Fa Cai]

Bro Freman, I dont think you should worry too much over this, or feel remorseful. This happen quite some time liao. And from wat I gather, she is a willing party, wat eveil did you do, having sex with her??, she enjoy it Im sure, also a listening ear (whether u care or not is inconsequential), so just see how it goes the next time u meet up, maybe nothing, she just wants to be fren (though platonic frens between ger n man not likely) .... but all said, u shouldnt be too worried about this unless u intend to make her your FB, which is also not a problem, a lot of bros also hv FB ... as long as no strings attached, unless you want to hv a string attached .... all this up to you lah ... we cant really make any decisions for you because we donno what your thinking is ..

[ChangCarl]

Actually, I'd suggest both of you get out of the situation. Emotions are a funny thing. Before you know it, both of you will have wrecked marriages.

[Freman]

hi bro,

yeah, right now, things are moving at their own pace. We have since chatted more on msn and looking for activities like supper etc, cos she have her night classes.

as for whether I will update the progress in this forum or like a blog, well, the intention is not this from the beginning.

as mentioned, this relationship may not be those wild and sexy stuff that will make a good story.

I'm glad I wrote about it, my short 3 posting episode of this part of my life. What I'm trying to convey is the miracle of life, how events and things can happen when you thought it's all in the past.

Take heart to all brothers who gave comments, every one of them is valuable.

[hext3r]

hey bro..

glad that you are able to let go this stuff.. deep down in you. so many years have past, and i believe the girl is trying her best to return everything to normal.. her studies... etc.. and you, becoming more mature as the day goes on.. so, maybe this is the time for you not to do the same mistake again.. maybe you wanna try to assist her in her studies or whatever..

just my thought

[Freman]

Dedicate this song to adeline,

愛情轉移 by eason chan

徘徊過多少櫥窗　
住過多少旅館　
才會覺得分離也并不冤枉
感情是用來瀏覽　
還是用來珍藏　
好讓日子天天都過得難忘

熬過了多久患難　
濕了多長眼眶　
才能知道傷感是愛的遺産
流浪幾張雙人床　
換過幾次信仰　
才讓戒指義無反顧的交換

＊把一個人的溫暖　
轉移到另一個的胸膛　
讓上次犯的錯反省出夢想
每個人都是這樣　
享受過提心吊膽　
才拒絕做愛情待罪的羔羊
回憶是抓不到的月光握緊就變黑暗　
等虛假的背影消失於晴朗
陽光在身上流轉　
等所有業障被原諒　
愛情不停站　
想開往地老天荒　
需要多勇敢

燭光照亮了晚餐　
照不出個答案　
戀愛不是溫馨的請客吃飯
床單上鋪滿花瓣　
擁抱讓它成長　
太擁擠就開到了別的土壤

感情需要人接班　
接近換來期望　
期望帶來失望的惡性循環
短暫的總是浪漫　
漫長總會不滿　
燒完美好青春換一個老伴

Repeat ＊,＊

你不要失望　
蕩氣迴腸是爲了　
最美的平凡

[pokeman71]

Go for it bro, waiting for you report

[spider_j]

hi bro,

yeah, right now, things are moving at their own pace. We have since chatted more on msn and looking for activities like supper etc, cos she have her night classes.

as mentioned, this relationship may not be those wild and sexy stuff that will make a good story.

Confession is good for the soul, despite the fact that it offers no absolution from past sins unless one is truly penitent.

Freman, are you truly penitent?

Call me a cynical bastard but I can't wait for the confession that you have, once again, against your better judgment, ONZ'd her at some sleazy hotel.

[Freman]

Confession is good for the soul, despite the fact that it offers no absolution from past sins unless one is truly penitent.

Freman, are you truly penitent?

Call me a cynical bastard but I can't wait for the confession that you have, once again, against your better judgment, ONZ'd her at some sleazy hotel.

hi bro,

we cheongster here are never saint in the first place. And my confession was not meant to repent from cheonging.

my regret is in the way I handled her in the past.

if it happens this time round, then let it be. I hoped she knows how to handle her own relationship well. I don't hope that she will destroy it because of this. Believe it or not, I'll probably advise her to think of her long term.

okie okie, I give up, I'll choose a better hotel this time.

[Agathys]

bro just forgive and forget...

[spider_j]

my regret is in the way I handled her in the past.

if it happens this time round, then let it be.I don't hope that she will destroy it because of this. Believe it or not, I'll probably advise her to think of her long term.

okie okie, I give up, I'll choose a better hotel this time.

Looks like there WILL be a FR after all then. As the saying goes, it takes 2 hands to clap and 2 sets of loins to bump against each other. Hope that you will refrain for the sake of the "remorse" which you have expressed.

[mystic dragon]

Dedicate this song to adeline,

愛情轉移 by eason chan

Very good choice there. I'm been mesmerized by the same song recently and can't get it off my head. Deeply meaningful lyrics.

Your personal account moved me a great deal emotionally. I guess most of us can empathise with your experience. We all feel like bastards once in awhile when we bothered to look back to our younger, insensitive days. Well, SOME of us did anyway.

Never expected such heavy materials when I clicked on your post but thankful for the "soul cleansing" all the same. Your recollection is weighing heavily on my mind now. Perhaps when I can sort out my thoughts better I would have more substantial offerings.

All the moment, best of luck to your (new found?) friendship. ;)

[CoolBlack]

All of us have our own story to tell, be it sad or happy.
Some call it fate and some call it Karma....but everything happens for a reason.
Life is a journey, the choices that we choose along the way will lead to different endings.
But whatever the outcome, always treasure the here & now...cause it will only be a memory comes tomorrow.
It's through all these experiences and regrets......that makes us wiser and life more meaningful.

[Cocky]

In life who can do no wrong? But of cos depend on how heavy is the WRONG DOING. Doing drugs is wrong, traffic drugs is wrong, rob is wrong, killing another person is wrong. There are a lots of wrong things that as human will commit or do and all happen with a reason. Everyone in life do wrong things but again how BIG is the mistake that is done.
But the important thing is, if a human have do the wrong things and have to guts to admit that is wrong and face the conceqence and be responsible for the wrong doing than at least you can be consiber as a human being.

[blue_swatch]

At least u have the maturity and courage to admit what u did was wrong and unfair to her.

If u r able to think that way, u r no longer that bastard u once were. Move on my friend. Dun let your past drag u on. :)

[TamKorSang]

So Bro Freman...any updates after your National Day meeting with her?

[Kunotz]

Better let bro Freman collect his tots first ... I don't think any change in status can be so fast ...

[McMoogle]

Looks like there WILL be a FR after all then. As the saying goes, it takes 2 hands to clap and 2 sets of loins to bump against each other. Hope that you will refrain for the sake of the "remorse" which you have expressed.

Is there really a need to be so righteous? This entire forum is dedicated to sins of the flesh.

Besides that, there's a huge difference between "exploiting" a young girl of age 16 and two consenting adults (she must be about 24 now) doing what makes them feel good. It's not even like she's in financial crisis and is only doing it because she has to.

Just a thought

[Freman]

hi bros,

yup, had been spending alot of time hanging out with her.

it has not progressed to the 'bed-scene' so I guessed there isn't much to write.

anyway, i think whatever happens next should be private since the aim of this thread has been achieved.

not really into 'blow by blow' essay of my encounters.... perhaps if this relationship ever ends and I like to 'tell my story'... but if it's ongoing, not really into 'live reporting'....

yah, I think too that there's nothing wrong between 2 consenting adults. As long as we don't damage any long term relationship that we each have.

[spider_j]

Is there really a need to be so righteous? This entire forum is dedicated to sins of the flesh.

Don't misunderstand. There is no one here amongst us here without any dark secrets.

Besides that, there's a huge difference between "exploiting" a young girl of age 16 and two consenting adults (she must be about 24 now) doing what makes them feel good.

Erm, so it's ok to mess with the same girl again who's 24 now ah?


yup, had been spending alot of time hanging out with her.
it has not progressed to the 'bed-scene' so I guessed there isn't much to write. anyway, i think whatever happens next should be private since the aim of this thread has been achieved.

Darn, no entertainment already.

Was hoping for a blow-by-blow account of how much better she is a lay at 24 compared to 16 when she was an inexperienced, easily-manipulated, troubled young girl that gave away her body in exchange of what she thought was 'real love'to a much older and more experienced man who was only trying to score free young pussy


yah, I think too that there's nothing wrong between 2 consenting adults. As long as we don't damage any long term relationship that we each have.

Ah, so you're contemplating a "FB" situation lah? :D

[Freman]

hiya,

FB ? physically, she is much better shape than last time (grown already mah). Personality wise, she's just my type (I dun really fancy ah lian in the first place).

do I have the desire ? obvious, I'm still a guy.

will I take any action ? not unless she makes a first move. For once, this old wolf will let this lamb pass. still plenty gals out there.

maybe can write about other (not so serious) regrets.

I do have encountered people who've gone 'steady' with me. She thought she could handle being a gf of a married guy. In the end, realised that it's hitting her emotionally too hard, and in the end we have to end it. sad, to have to end like that.

or other brudders can talk about their stories too. welcome to share this thread.

[qwertyuiop]

Well written here bro yang punk,

I feel that to term a person "bastard" really depends on the situation. If making love with a girl and treating her just like a sex-toy = bastards, then OMG, there's millions or probably billions of bastards in this entire world (global population)

I once had a buddy of many years friendship, he likes to fuck, very handsome, alot of gfs, some got pregnant twice, some probably once and his gf is freeflow type, all Singaporeans and chio one somemore. Doesn't like to use condoms and cause quite a number of abortions already. Do u consider him a bastard? If you do, then I believe there's even worse people than this buddy of mine. (Those whom ask their gf/wife to be prostitutes to satisfy their financial status so that they can fuck other women and it's so common around the whole world and much more "bastard" stuffs)

I just feel that at times, when some things happen, it's part and parcel of life like what Adeline has mentioned. At that point of time when "bastard" issues happened, many of us were probably at puberty age where we still haven't learn how to think properly, to handle situations in the correct manner.

Nothing to regret much Bro Freman, what's done has been done and cannot be undone. What you can do now is like what other bros have mentioned.

- Do it discreetly as both of you are MATURED adults now and make sure no strings attached but this is obviously playing with fire and you will approach another NEW level to learn how to handle the type of consequences you'll face if things turned ugly.

OR

- Just be friends. Period.

Last but not least, if Adeline and you are both adults now, you don't FB her, some other "bastards" still will FB her.

I often heard this from my other bros, just to share with everyone here:
Chinese: 可口美味的羊肉送到你嘴边 , 难道你真的不想尝一尝吗?
English: Won't u even think of tasting the sweet innocent lamb if it offers itself to you?

Easier said than done!!!

the fact that we are here means that we ARE all bastards in one way or another. Just that some are not aware and therefore write so moralistically.

Now it boils down to your own maturity...if you want to be a good husband and father...don't even think of paid sex or free ons with adeline or anyone like her. Whether paid sex with a fl, a geylang pros or a willing ons... you are still cheating on your wife. Period! But if you are an 'honest' bastard like most of us here...who cannot resist another pussy, then I think Adeline will turn out to be the perfect sex buddy.

[Freman]

Well written here bro yang punk,


I often heard this from my other bros, just to share with everyone here:
Chinese: 可口美味的羊肉送到你嘴边 , 难道你真的不想尝一尝吗?
English: Won't u even think of tasting the sweet innocent lamb if it offers itself to you?

Easier said than done!!!

*cough cough*.... tasted better than 8 years ago.... *cough again*

so much for updates.....

[peterfish]

*cough cough*.... tasted better than 8 years ago.... *cough again*

so much for updates.....

I think you still lust for her. Once a Bastard, Always a Bastard.

I have done similar things like what you have done. At first shiok and then a bit remorse but if the same thing were to happen again, I am sure I will still do the same. You will do the same too.

[fishermantan]

very touching thread i say.
i have enjoyed reading it.

[qwertyuiop]

Juices in the past, gravy in the present

*cough cough*.... tasted better than 8 years ago.... *cough again*

so much for updates.....

[madix]

*cough cough*.... tasted better than 8 years ago.... *cough again*

so much for updates.....

hmm... mentioned tasted...in past tense...so something did happen?
this is such an interesting thread. supposed to go sleep abt 1/2 ago. but sat here and finished reading all the posts.

those who have done the same can i ask something?

are you now thinking of whatever guilty/bastardly/unforgiveable things that you have ever done...and given the choice want to end it differently now?:confused:

[Scanner]

*cough cough*.... tasted better than 8 years ago.... *cough again*

so much for updates.....

So much for closure. In the end, small head always wins big head. That's a guy's perpetual challenge..

[spider_j]

.. tasted better than 8 years ago....

I see she's never learned her lesson yet. Oh well, lessons will be repeated until learned.

Or at least until she has nothing of value to entice men like yourself.

[3dee]

it's a confession, not a story brother.
hoped brothers here can share their opinion. I don't know what the future will bring. or what will happen.
My resolve is notoriously weak.
For my part, I'm just happy that closure has come, for this episode in my life.


To my simple opinion, if your mind cannot decide, then let your heart to decide. Respect your feeling.

Life is short and life is only once, do what you like and like what you do;
do not let yourself to have regret but you should embrace and treasure all the wonderful happenings in life...

[VOGS]

Upz bro Freman for ur confessions & honesty, reading ur story, i felt ashamed of myself, cos i was a bastard too, probably maybe due to I have not married yet, thats y till now I still have this mindset, enjoy whilst we can, if there are opportunities for a free bonk, off i go liao, as what bro 3dee mentioned, respect ur feeling, let ur feeling make the move for you..:D

[Megatronzombie]

*cough cough*.... tasted better than 8 years ago.... *cough again*

so much for updates.....


not the ending I was hoping for :( .. but then this IS the real world. Just becareful bro Freman. Take care!

[basara_evil]

[I once had a buddy of many years friendship, he likes to fuck, very handsome, alot of gfs, some got pregnant twice, some probably once and his gf is freeflow type, all Singaporeans and chio one somemore. Doesn't like to use condoms and cause quite a number of abortions already. Do u consider him a bastard? If you do, then I believe there's even worse people than this buddy of mine. (Those whom ask their gf/wife to be prostitutes to satisfy their financial status so that they can fuck other women and it's so common around the whole world and much more "bastard" stuffs)]

ha ha, just because there are other ppl who are worse then ur fr does not make him any less "sinful" at the things he had done to other gals.

for example, i take upskirts vid of gals.
however, in other countries (for example, Japan) ppl even take vid of gals
sex, shower, etc etc.
does that means, just because got ppl do worse things then me,
i'm NOT wrong for taking upskirts?

i agree with most things u said bro.
i just wanna point out, ur fr is not any less "bastard" just because there are
worse "bastards" then him in the world. ha ha.
he is STILL a "bastard" for the things he done, whether those gals r willing or not. whether there's 1 million people or only 1 people worse than him, he is still a bastard. wuahahahaha.

dont take it personal, i will go for free bonk too if it's available.
every man thinks alike one. cannot help.

[basara_evil]

it's like saying -

i killed a person in cold blood.

in the court, the judge call me a murderer, but i say to the judge

"i cannot be called a murderer, cos i know that there are ppl tat done more killing then me."

just like u saying ur fr

"he is not a bastard, cos i know of people that done more bad things then him"

understand? :)

[hallehluya]

understand!

trying to say pot should not call kettle black right? lol

[Freman]

hi,

yes, in the end, small head overcame big head. for girl version, I don't know what's the equivalent phrase. I guessed we both see it coming sooner or later..... but it was a nice and warm feeling while engaged in it. I supposed this is what the FL brothers would call GF feeling.

Don't know if it's a one off incident, but I hoped it doesn't affect anything. I'm meeting her for dinner tonite (but no other plans beyond that, and can't also, got to go home after dinner).... maybe we'll talk abt it, laugh it off, whatever....

I'm always careful, since this is not the first time I'm cheonging around, and for those who knows me, I don't cheong FL 1. I know the danger of the girl turning too 'sticky', but so far, it has been good... from what I observe, she don't seem to be the type who would file for divorce herself and then ask me to do the same....

so let's hope this is be a beautiful experience....

thanks brudders for all the advice....

interesting thing to note thot, is that I meet her more often for just kopi, tok cock, meals than for sex...... if this is the arrangement, I'm very happy..... I think just screwing, can never uphold the interest too long..

[hoosdathu]

wow... a really different kinda thread here :)

[the_e_ones]

Bro Freman, so sweet...you have my blessing!

[old_yet_horny]

hmm... mentioned tasted...in past tense...so something did happen?
this is such an interesting thread. supposed to go sleep abt 1/2 ago. but sat here and finished reading all the posts.

those who have done the same can i ask something?

are you now thinking of whatever guilty/bastardly/unforgiveable things that you have ever done...and given the choice want to end it differently now?:confused:

Hahaha.. Yar.. Was doing some soul searching and realiseI was not too bad.. Nothing to regret.. However, I truly believe in keeping the past as to whatever had happened and accepting the concequences..

I had my fair share of cheonging..Started at 16 and currently double of that age. Can you imagine the numbers of HCs, KTVs, FLs, FBs, GL150, ONS, LSBs... yada yada.. I have been to??

Never in my life that I have regretted spending all those hard earned money and bad health incurred by relentless cheonging sessions/partying/drinking smoking...Its all part and parcel of growing old and street wise (even though it can be minimised). Thats how and what I am here today..

My concscience remains clear as long as I do not force my way into bedding the girl (sexually) and as long as we did it with concensus agreement, I dun think I owe them any guilt..

For Bro Freman, its just another small chapter in his bonking encounter.. Just hope he treads with caution and not to cause any damage to his family and the girl's life.

[hil169]

Another 10 years passed. Any updates, bro? :D

[suracaimas]

Another 10 years passed. Any updates, bro? :D

10 years thread you also manage to dig it out :D

[hil169]

10 years thread you also manage to dig it out :D

Hahah but i doubt TS would come back to update man.

[suracaimas]

Hahah but i doubt TS would come back to update man.

You must be a big fan of TS :)

[hil169]

You must be a big fan of TS :)

Not really. Just amazed that TS is able to land himself on such a HSD girl. Apparently cheating on her fiancee is not much of a concern compared to satisfying sexual appetite. I guess the right thing to do is probably find a guy with the same level of sex drive but then again, this kind of thing cant possibly be told by surface interaction alone. It takes multiple layers of communication.

Nothing wrong with satisfying sexual needs. We're all bastards and bitches in our own ways. Heh. :D

[suracaimas]

Not really. Just amazed that TS is able to land himself on such a HSD girl. Apparently cheating on her fiancee is not much of a concern compared to satisfying sexual appetite. I guess the right thing to do is probably find a guy with the same level of sex drive but then again, this kind of thing cant possibly be told by surface interaction alone. It takes multiple layers of communication.

Nothing wrong with satisfying sexual needs. We're all bastards and bitches in our own ways. Heh. :D

Hahaha fully agreed :D

[Mellow]

TS no more upd already :confused:

[anymorezaimas]

Anymore update TS?

[Nogle]

TS no more upd already :confused:

Think so too :confused:

[hil169]

Dont think TS coming back to update already.

Any other bros got stories want to share? I wonder if theres such thing call civilised bastard or bastard with a conscious. Seems like an irony..

[sadfa]

Dont think TS coming back to update already.

Any other bros got stories want to share? I wonder if theres such thing call civilised bastard or bastard with a conscious. Seems like an irony..

Conscience La. Knn conscious.
Most bastards are not unconscious La. haha

And it's not called irony
________
Exchange points talking rubbish ma

[unicornboy]

Conscience La. Knn conscious.
Most bastards are not unconscious La. haha

And it's not called irony
________
Exchange points talking rubbish ma

Now lauacheebai sadfa pretend to be a teacher. PUI!

[MaiHowSiao]

Now lauacheebai sadfa pretend to be a teacher. PUI!

Hey young unicuntboy, stop spitting in public la, you want to copy Ah Tiong? NBCB.

[harimao]

Not really. Just amazed that TS is able to land himself on such a HSD girl. Apparently cheating on her fiancee is not much of a concern compared to satisfying sexual appetite. I guess the right thing to do is probably find a guy with the same level of sex drive but then again, this kind of thing cant possibly be told by surface interaction alone. It takes multiple layers of communication.

Nothing wrong with satisfying sexual needs. We're all bastards and bitches in our own ways. Heh. :D

Well said bro :)