Now what?

[Acidman]

Guys I'm at a lost now. Need some advice here.

Ok, the story goes like this. My wife and I have been married for close to 5 years. She is bad tempered and avoid sex. She will often quarrel with me for no good reasons. And when I often try to initiate sex she will avoid. Reason being she thinks she is fat. So I started my life as a cheongster as a result. After years of such buildup or you can call emotional withdrawal from her. I've started to lose my feelings for her. And at the same time I got to know my prc gf.

As time goes by, I slowly begin to realise I love my prc gf more than my wife. I tried to give up my prc gf but in the end still cannot. My feelings for my wife is like totally gone. We have no kids and she is coming to mid 30s. Also my prc gf student pass is expiring. So now I'm at a crossroad.

I feel a great sense of remorse for my wife if I divorce her. She might be alone for the rest of her life, and she has no siblings. But if I continue to stay with my wife, it is only because of a sense of responsibility. At the same time, my life might be full of regrets if I don't be together with my prc gf. This is really a torturous time for me. Brothers what would you do?

[Cao_pi]

Hi Bro,

If I am you, I'll take the step and end this relationship. Life is only fair to both of you if there is no regret at the end of the road. But of course that is just me, and I don't want to advise anyone to divorce their wife. Use every ounce of your effort to make it work, have you consider marriage counselling?

But one important and final point I want to make, if you want a divorce, make sure you are clean from cheonging and extra marital affair before she catches you. If not you gonna have a tough case on hand. 3 years seperation before divorce too by the way.

Good luck!

[mebirdie]

From my point of view, do not handle your wife and the PRC matter together. Treat them as seperate thing.
Ask yourself the following question.

Wife
- As you do not have children, the commitment may be limited.
- Imagine that if you do not have PRC gal, can you still be together happily?
- Try to talk to her. See what is her response?
- Please do not divorce your wife because of the PRC gal. It must be due to other reasons.

PRC
- If you do not have a wife, will you still be with a PRC gal?
- What is the age gap? Too wide will be a problem.
- What i your attractive thing to the PRC? $$$$
- Her background. This may be difficult but through communication and action
it may show something
- Commitment after marriage.

Reminder : If you divorce your wife, it does not mean you have to be with the PRC gal

[Orgasmic]

Let me tell you a real story.

There is this good friend of mine. He married a PRC gal, thinking that they are compatible with each other. He was driving a Jaguar then and owner of two nightclubs and a string of private schools.

When he was charged for cheating and jailed, his PRC wife dont even bother to visit him after 1 year and she simply disappear.

This is a true story.

You got my point?

Guys I'm at a lost now. Need some advice here.

Ok, the story goes like this. My wife and I have been married for close to 5 years. She is bad tempered and avoid sex. She will often quarrel with me for no good reasons. And when I often try to initiate sex she will avoid. Reason being she thinks she is fat. So I started my life as a cheongster as a result. After years of such buildup or you can call emotional withdrawal from her. I've started to lose my feelings for her. And at the same time I got to know my prc gf.

As time goes by, I slowly begin to realise I love my prc gf more than my wife. I tried to give up my prc gf but in the end still cannot. My feelings for my wife is like totally gone. We have no kids and she is coming to mid 30s. Also my prc gf student pass is expiring. So now I'm at a crossroad.

I feel a great sense of remorse for my wife if I divorce her. She might be alone for the rest of her life, and she has no siblings. But if I continue to stay with my wife, it is only because of a sense of responsibility. At the same time, my life might be full of regrets if I don't be together with my prc gf. This is really a torturous time for me. Brothers what would you do?

[sammyboyfor]

At the same time, my life might be full of regrets if I don't be together with my prc gf. This is really a torturous time for me. Brothers what would you do?

I classic case of "out of the frying pan into the fire."

Your PRC girlfriend will be 10 times worse than your current wife once you marry her. :rolleyes:

Get a divorce by all means but do so in order to enjoy life again.

To replace a bad tempered women with a con women who will bleed you dry is just about the stupidist thing you can ever do.

[Five Stone]

It is a separate matter altogether, your marriage been on the rocks for as far as you can remember but then you choose to keep one eye close for there is nothing to unbalance the whole scenario till you meet your GF. Now you found yourself at a cross road, lost and wondering what to do altogether. Suggestions? A few things you can do is to settle your problem with your wife, give her a chance to repent and yourself a chance to redeem what you had done.

People change along the way, try remembering why you married her, why you choose her and what had happened that sour the relationship till now. Talking to her is the best thing to do, tell her her options, your considerations, your needs and even the possibility of a divorce. Someone has to do the dirty deeds and that someone is definitely you for you are the one who strayed and not her.

As for your GF, there is nothing you can do until you get your marriage resolve else you are only plotting a course for yourself to troubles. :cool:

[Cyber Police]

Hmm, similar thread somewhere, but advice is treat both separate issue.

[No-go]

u sure ur PRC gf loves u as much as u love her?

[LeDivorcee]

PRC gf is PRC gf... this type of girls are a dime a dozen... No point in getting into a real relationship with this girl. If she is really into studying, she would not have been your lover. For all you know she has other sidelines like standing in GL or working in KTV without you knowing...

As for your wife, think carefully about it. Divorce is a messy affair especially if one party is unwilling to let go. Besides emotional attachments, she is afterall your legally wedded wife. I would suggest give marriage counselling a try first before looking at alternative ways of getting out of your marriage.

[diver69er]

I said it once.....n i will say it again...PRC gals are very materialistic.They will tell u everything that YOU want to hear.The day u stop showering her wif gifts.....she will start giving u the cold shoulder.I've been there.......so pls consider your decision VERY VERY VERY carefully.:cool:

[LeDivorcee]

I said it once.....n i will say it again...PRC gals are very materialistic.They will tell u everything that YOU want to hear.The day u stop showering her wif gifts.....she will start giving u the cold shoulder.I've been there.......so pls consider your decision VERY VERY VERY carefully.:cool:

Agreed... My previous encounter with a PRC lover is nothing but trouble... She only knows how to complain about Singapore legal system and always asking for expensive gifts... Whenever I stop doing that she will sulk, not picking up my calls and not performing good enough in bed...

[Eastpipper]

u got any kids?

PRC can play but can't marry them lah...

[Castrol]

Also my prc gf student pass is expiring. So now I'm at a crossroad.



thats great, you can change prc gf soon. :D

[hotdick69]

The bros here have given u all the help u need...... actually i fell u only got 1 problem thats is your wife..... the PRC is something u can forget about.... Talk to your wife... make her understand.... tell her how u feel even if she is not in the mood.... we are all human... cant read each other's mind.... if u dont tell her she will not know.... hope this helps

PRC will not help u it will make you even more in trouble

Just my 2 Cents

[naemlo]

And at the same time I got to know my prc gf.


1 question, how u get to know your PRC gf??? :rolleyes: If in the KTV, TN, GL then give up on her.

If it is a torture to be with your present wife then end the relationship. Take a break, go tour alone or with friends, enjoy the freedom. 缘份可遇不可求。Dunno my chinese right or wrong :D

[plman2002]

Guys I'm at a lost now. Need some advice here.


I advise you to think properly with your big head.
Wife got only 1, gf can have many many.

Reminder : If you divorce your wife, it does not mean you have to be with the PRC gal

U like machiam very experience leh. kekeke. U dun give him choice or else he will head big big again.

To replace a bad tempered women with a con women who will bleed you dry is just about the stupidist thing you can ever do.

BOSS, why u always like to hit on the nail one. Very painful one u know.

PRC gf is PRC gf... this type of girls are a dime a dozen... No point in getting into a real relationship with this girl.
Besides emotional attachments, she is afterall your legally wedded wife. I would suggest give marriage counselling a try first before looking at alternative ways of getting out of your marriage.

Speaking from experience ya. Good advice there man.

u got any kids?
PRC can play but can't marry them lah...

Is there any relationship/connection with this matter?!?!??!
Decent and proper why cannot marry. U really sound like him. kekeke

Take a break, go tour alone or with friends, enjoy the freedom. 缘份可遇不可求。Dunno my chinese right or wrong :D

Vietnam language u can lah. U mandarin sucks. kekekeke

[no_faith]

u realized u love the prc? maybe u are in a delusion?
maybe the feeling is not love?

the prc can gives u wat ur wife cant gives u now.
maybe atm u r feeling empty and u need sum1/sumting to feel up the emptiness?

on second thought, suddenly ur wife changes, u ought to beware too.


no matter how hard it could be, talk to your wife.
hope tings get better for u bro.




peace

[Acidman]

The problem is I've spoken to my wife before already. And she has now changed to a better person, and even tries to initiate sex. I've also tried to reconcile with her. Now she thinks everything is alright, but somehow I just no longer feel the same liao. Would this be due to my prc gf? Honestly I do not know.

It's also true, I might not really love my gf. But becos of her, I also no longer have the mood to cheong liao. If I let her go back china, would I regret forever?

[no_faith]

yeah, ur wife is willing to change to have a gd future wif u.
both of u can start afresh rite?
pls have a clear mind.

do u ever heard...

"yi shi zu chen qian gu hen........." the rest i forgot liao, sry but the meaning is there.


peace

[jng1103]

I dont see any problems divorcing ur wife because it's ur own life/happiness that is above all. If u r not happy, the rest isnt matter anymore.

However, marrying a PRC gf is a big NO-NO. i am curious, why do u have to marry her? for the sake of her VISA/PR? i hv few frens gone through the same cycle and they DID NOT marry their gfs (nationality isnt important) but cohabit. I dont see any problem with that either.

Fren, going through a divorce is not just a tedious and emotional process but an expensive one. For the money u spent on the divorce, why would u dig urself into another shit for marrying the PRC gf? If it's purely for her status (PR or VISA), u might wanna think twice.

jimbo

[jng1103]

The problem is I've spoken to my wife before already. And she has now changed to a better person, and even tries to initiate sex. I've also tried to reconcile with her. Now she thinks everything is alright, but somehow I just no longer feel the same liao. Would this be due to my prc gf? Honestly I do not know.

It's also true, I might not really love my gf. But becos of her, I also no longer have the mood to cheong liao. If I let her go back china, would I regret forever?

I dont think she will change for the good. If she doesnt like sex or u dun hv feelings for her anymore, just walk off and dun ever turn back.

My theory is simple. My CO doesnt like bj (she thinks it's very dirty) and I wont force her either. So, I'll "outsource" and it's a win-win strategy :D

jimbo

[CoolBlack]

I can somewhat relate to this bro's problem, becos I too was in a similar situation.
First of all I would like to say that we should not brand "PRC" gals all the same as those we find at KYV, TN, etc......each of them are different as individuals.

As some bros here have already mentioned, the wife and GF issue should be treated based on the merit of each case.

Wife : Yes, being married is about responsibility, but again you are too responsible for yourself.Dragging unfavorable situation might even cause bigger damage in the long run as both time & opportunity for new relationship diminish.
So you would need to size up if there are any more feelings and chances to improve the situation either on your own or with help. Should all effort fails, there is only one solution.

GF : Being together as a GF and together as a wife is completely different.As a GF, you dont really "live" together and co-exist as a couple.
What are the plans for her should you marry her? Will she be able to find work? How well you understand her, etc....

Like one bro said..."from the frying pan into the pot".......all things will become routine after some time.

As for my situation, I chose to give up my GF even though at that point she meant the world to me, but I dont see any future should I have chosen her.Should I have married her, she will in turn become the "wife" and I might have another "GF"....the cycle will go on and on....so will not be any different.

There is no right or wrong answer to your problem bro......it is just a matter of choice in which you will have to live with.

Consider all aspects and make a decision that suit you best.

Good luck.

[ken_v2]

ever tried marriage counselling?? i think u should remember why u married her and try to salvage the marriage.

prc gf - dun get too emotionally involved. are u buying her gifts and spending money on her? try to stop that and see what's her attitude... just enjoy your time with her but dun get emotional. the price is too high. u read it here so many times and in the newspapers and probably think your prc gf is differernt. but sad to tell u they are all the same...

:cool:

[BennyZen]

The problem is I've spoken to my wife before already. And she has now changed to a better person, and even tries to initiate sex. I've also tried to reconcile with her. Now she thinks everything is alright, but somehow I just no longer feel the same liao. Would this be due to my prc gf? Honestly I do not know.

It's also true, I might not really love my gf. But becos of her, I also no longer have the mood to cheong liao. If I let her go back china, would I regret forever?

Give yourself more time and I am sure you will also lose feeling for the PRC GF. It is all in your mind lah... she probably catches you attention because she is different from your normal Singaporean wife or female friend... hence make you find them attractive.. given more time when u are adjusted to them, u will prefer to stick back to your wife... especially she has now make the effort to better herself and your relationship. Think... women are very sensitive to things around her, why did your wife now decide to change to a better person... she might smell a rat already

[西门吹雪]

do u ever heard...

"yi shi zu chen qian gu hen........." the rest i forgot liao, sry but the meaning is there.
bro, don't mind i kaypoh hor, think what you wanted to write was 一失足成千古恨，再回首已是百年身。

reading chinese in hanyu pinyin and trying to figure out what they mean is a real pain in the ass! :(

[西门吹雪]

If I let her go back china, would I regret forever?
if you let her go back to china, you think she will call you from china or not?

if she does not, you will not regret.
if she does, you will also not regret.

[bignround]

Well I am not married but there was an advice even to me by my mentor.

Marriage is not a bed of roses because our life itself is not a bed of roses. Everyday when we wake, we do not always feel good but still have to fulfill our duty as a son, a employee, a friend, a colleague ...... We may not feel hungry at times but we still have to eat to keep body healthy. This is a simple process in life. The same for marriage, every day when u wake up do u feel "the love" for your wife? THE ANSWER IS NO !!! (any alien here can say everyday he wake up he feel this Love" for his wife everday) The truth is ... even if you do not feel the love does it mean you do not love your wife? If love a feeling or a commitment?

Just a 2 cents of thot.

[Castrol]

bro, don't mind i kaypoh hor, think what you wanted to write was 一失足成千古恨，再回首已是百年身。



wow sai moon heng, your mandarin very good like your swordplay. you have been my idol since you defeated yip koo seng on the palace roof all the way to the throne room, or was it he purposely lost the duel to you...? :D

[machoman]

Ultimately, it's your decision & you have to live with it, no matter what your decision is. Whether you decide to seek marital counselling & patch up with your wife & start afresh or call it quits, with all the accompanying financial & emotional pains & hurts, it's your call.

As for the PRC gf, I wonder why so many members have such poor opinions of them as being unsuitable marriage material? If the gf is a Malaysian or of another nationality, would the advice be still the same? Why paint the PRC women in such a bad light? I am sure that there are good PRC women that would make wonderful wives but it seems that many people are prejudiced against them. Is this prejudice justified? Some might have bad experiences with PRC women, no doubt about that & we often read in the newspapers about the so-called "con PRC women" but to categorise ALL PRC women as such, IMHO is totally uncalled for.

My advice to bro Acidman is to objectively evaluate your feelings towards the PRC gf & then, make your decision on your future relationship with her based on such an evaluation. Will there be a promising future for both of you as a wedded couple? It's tough but still you have no other choice than to make the choice.

Hope that my rambling helps? Or has it make you even more confused. If the latter, I apologise.

Wish you all the best in your decision-making & hope that you make the right choices.

[Derelict]

To replace a bad tempered women with a con women who will bleed you dry is just about the stupidist thing you can ever do.
prenuptial agreement or antenuptial agreement can help here. If you plan to take that walk down the isle again. If she doesnt want to sign than you know she is in only for the money.

As for the trouble you're facing. My best advice is to seek a marriage counsellor so the both of you can tell each side of the story. He or she will be the middle person to get the full scope of the problem. Get a woman its counsellor so your wife will get the woman perspective and your missus will not jump the gun by saying all man will flock together.

[no_faith]

bro derelict, in my poll of of signing prenub, bros already said prenub not recognized in sg. so cant test on her.:D

maybe try cook up a story, saying broke liao or in finance trouble or sumting. no money liao, see the prc can take it or not.

to threadstarter, "hui tou shi an ah"

sry i duuno how to type chinese character(tink need sum software bah)

[fullboost2bar]

after all the condemn of Prc girl as wife no good, just wonder viet girl can make the cut..:rolleyes: As everybody is bias against prc, so wondering if his gf is fom viet & not china, just wat would the advice be..:D

[西门吹雪]

wow sai moon heng, your mandarin very good like your swordplay.
hoi! why you called me 西门慶? :rolleyes:
my name is 西门吹雪, england version is Simon Blowsnow.

you defeated yip koo seng on the palace roof all the way to the throne room, or was it he purposely lost the duel to you...?
where you heard this from? the duel was at 天子驻跸的紫禁城之巅（太和殿屋顶）only, where got fight all the way to the throne? you so brave? emperor can behead you one, you know?

also, don't say the duel 'kelong' hor, it was life and death one, 叶孤城 lost because he 心中有垢，其剑必弱.


but, this is off-topic lah, paiseh.:p

[stephan]

... If I let her go back china, would I regret forever?

Its depend on how long u can keep ur "forever"

When u getting married with ur wife, aren't u thinking that u will stay forever with her? :rolleyes:

[西门吹雪]

Its depend on how long u can keep ur "forever"

When u getting married with ur wife, aren't u thinking that u will stay forever with her?

walau eh!

this is more deadly than all my sword-fighting strokes! :eek: :D

[Niceman]

Simon Blowsnow... haha.... your nick damn funny leh...

Anyway... to that Bro...

1st, try telling and acting poor to your PRC gf, saying your wife wanna take everything and u got to start from Zero, and take 3yrs to save money just to get marry, and bring her eat hawker food, not more than $5 for 2... observe her reaction for sometime, maybe 3months.

Not all PRC is gold-digger, but most of them come here to find a better life, if they have better option, why would they want to stay with a poor sillyporean?

I showered my PRC gf with gifts and a night stay at 6stars hotel, as a result, she wanna marry me, eventhough her bed skill is very kumpong and suaku. Having fun is alright, but.... marry them? u better find one richer than u.

Try bring your wife for another honeymoon trip, rebuild those forgotten good old days and see how later.

Only my 2cents worth. Take care Bro

[Acidman]

I've been with my gf for a year liao. I did not spend much on her and not bought many gifts. When we eat it is always at Hawker center. She knows I don't earn much as I'm only driving a small car.

[Rof|maoxz]

The problem is I've spoken to my wife before already. And she has now changed to a better person, and even tries to initiate sex. I've also tried to reconcile with her. Now she thinks everything is alright, but somehow I just no longer feel the same liao. Would this be due to my prc gf? Honestly I do not know.

It's also true, I might not really love my gf. But becos of her, I also no longer have the mood to cheong liao. If I let her go back china, would I regret forever?

Is your gerfrd aware of your marital status? Do inform her and see how she reacts?

Are you going to make a gamble to dump your wife, and re-marry another? Seems like you are just yearning for companionship.

[WillamSexsphere]

Marriage counselling is a good choice. However, we sg folks are a pragmatic lot.

Do the 'Over-familiarity' test before you decide on any decision with your wife and PRC friend.

Trial 1
------
1. Visualise your fantasy dream girl and take a walk along all the Geylang lorongs to find her or seek her out from an FR here.

2. Once you found her or the closest thing to her, attempt to win her heart and fuck her 10 times in 1 month.

3. Find out how you feel.

Trial 2
--------
1. After completing the 10 times fucking session in 1 month, stop all communication with her and try to forget that girl.

2. Go fuck 10 different girls of your choice within 1 month. Then stop.

3. Find out how you feel.

The purpose of this Over-familiarity test is to prove to yourself that:-

a. Fucking is only a pure sexual release for men and nothing emotional - you wouldnt want to spend your entire life fucking the same person or just fuck for the sake of fucking only, and

b. After some time, you will feel bored and realised it's only a cunt, no matter which woman you fuck, more so after you cummed. Horniness can be cured. You will want something more from the woman emotionally, which no WL can give you honestly.

c. You will then realized more about love itself - its more than just sex, and your mind will be clearer as to who to go for love.

I had been a faithful husband for 15 years and after my divorce, obtaining my single hood and freedom, i thought i would enjoy myself and became an international playboy, fucking WLs in every city i was sent to in the course of my work.

I avoided decent girls and married women for after my divorce, i no longer had confidence in a long term relationship and do not have the heart to cheat or hurt them, so i stuck to WLs.

And i got to know WLs' gameplay. I had fucked WLs so ugly that she would make a horse's face look like Ms Universe and i had fucked WLs that would make any Ms Universe pagent judge tell her to skip the preliminaries and just go straight to the final. A different WL at anytime, as and when i like.

Some may envy such lifestyle, but in truth and in time, there's always an emptiness and loneliness in me, for sex can only give momentary joy.

In my deepest sorrow, there is no woman i could trust to drown my sadness in her affectionate honest hugs. In my struggle to reach the top, there was no encouraging words from the soft whispers of a woman by my side to egg me on. In my triumphs over adversities, there is no woman who will cheer or celebrate it with me.

I lived alone by day amongst the masses of working folks, and hide in a fantasy world conjured up by WLs at nights, who will fake every smile and every tear drop to every fake orgasm and concern with a price.

My points are :- The forbidden fruit is always assumed to be sweet. But once tasted, it is just another fruit. Falling in love may seem easy, but living together will need patience, a lot of it, whichever woman it will be.

Think back to the days when you first met your wife and the life you both had been thru together. It's more than sex in that relationship. Did she cared about you when you were sick? Did she shed tears when you were hurt? Did she stood by you when you were push around by dominating folks? Did she minded that you couldnt even take her to a posh restarant for an aniversary, but thru thick and thin was there beside you to comfort you as you reach to the top of your proffession?

Arent those good times and years good enough to overlook her current flaws as both compromised to reach for a better old age together?

Can your new PRC gf be better than your wife now that you are perhaps more matured and stable in your life which your wife had contributed in some way? How much of this emotional feel you have for the PRC is based upon love and not love as a veil to hide your desperate horny crush on her?

Take the test and perhaps you will find the answer....



Cheers!:) .

[Acidman]

I guess you are right, I might just be yearning for companionship. But it's plain ridiculous I could not get that from my wife right?

yes, my gf does not know I am married. This is my biggest lie to her, I know I should not have done so. I do not wish to break her heart and tell her I am married unless I wants to divorce my wife. If I'm going to stick with my wife, I will find other ways to break off with her.

[Acidman]

In a way I've already done the Over-familiarity test.
Rem I did mention I'm a cheongster. I do bonk other WLs. And even one that I bonk for many times in a month. And I realise I rather make love with my gf than continue cheonging. And the most ridiculous part is I feel guilty for my gf instead of my wife. Sad case:(

[milo_man]

is good to have side dishes at times but only main dish will keep u full. When u divorce, u lose half ya property. When ya prc divorce u again, u r left with a quarter..is half life theory. Now i m broke after my wife divorce me for another poor man, they live happily after wif my money..wat a bitch!!!!!

[Rof|maoxz]

I guess you are right, I might just be yearning for companionship. But it's plain ridiculous I could not get that from my wife right?

Yes, my gf does not know I am married. This is my biggest lie to her, I know I should not have done so. I do not wish to break her heart and tell her I am married unless I wants to divorce my wife. If I'm going to stick with my wife, I will find other ways to break off with her.

Well... den if you wanna play this game, do conceal it well. You can't possibly make both parties happy. Do consider again, this word "divorce", say is easy, but when decided to do it, not that easy.

You can still save your marriage, based on your account.

[y7u8i9o0]

i guess many brothers here had given you the necessary advise. i think its really communication between you and ur wife. Do things together, find a hobby whereby 2 of you can participate, its not possible to find back the feeling again but its possible to find new things you like about ur wife.

i had many pals who seek divorce and really, none of them is happy until now.

cheers
y7

[WillamSexsphere]

In a way I've already done the Over-familiarity test.
Rem I did mention I'm a cheongster. I do bonk other WLs. And even one that I bonk for many times in a month. And I realise I rather make love with my gf than continue cheonging. And the most ridiculous part is I feel guilty for my gf instead of my wife. Sad case:(

If you would rather make love with your gf than cheonging after repeated fucking attempts with other WLs, then i guess you do love her. I only hope she feels the same with you.

I would suggest that the honourable way out now is to divorce your wife, since love is no longer there, no sense in prolonging the suffering in both. She's still in her 30s, considered young. Should set her free to find someone else who will love her in the way she wants to be loved, rather than you being forced to love her in the way you don't like.

Just my 2 cts take on it.:(

[84gunner]

do u ever heard...

"yi shi zu chen qian gu hen........." the rest i forgot liao, sry but the meaning is there.



bro, don't mind i kaypoh hor, think what you wanted to write was 一失足成千古恨，再回首已是百年身。

reading chinese in hanyu pinyin and trying to figure out what they mean is a real pain in the ass! :(

look at my signature lah

[84gunner]

As for the PRC gf, I wonder why so many members have such poor opinions of them as being unsuitable marriage material? If the gf is a Malaysian or of another nationality, would the advice be still the same? Why paint the PRC women in such a bad light? I am sure that there are good PRC women that would make wonderful wives but it seems that many people are prejudiced against them. Is this prejudice justified? Some might have bad experiences with PRC women, no doubt about that & we often read in the newspapers about the so-called "con PRC women"


Agree, not all PRC women are tat bad. If not, all PRC women will be single & unmarried, but why China's population is still so huge, many couples are happily married?

But, I do agree wif many other brudder in a way, tat many of those PRC women who gets outta China are cunning & scheming. I believe the main cos is tat the news in SG, whenever other countries or nationalities has any negative news, it will be widely broadcasted, badly portrayed, 2 create a v bad impression. This, I feel, is indirectly trying 2 tell pple tat SGP is good, SGPeans are nice, etc etc. A kind of advertisement.

When I was down & out in SG, I can only get out 2 turn my situation around. the 1st country I went was to PRC, where there was a job offer. I was really in such bad shape, tat when I reached there initially, I din even have enuf $$ for meals after some time b4 my 1st pay check!

After a while, I got pretty close 2 several gals. Many of them dun mind lending me $$ for my cash-flow problems, 1 of them even offered 2 lemme stay in her rented apartment, so I can save $$ on rental, then she oso cook, saying eating home cooked food is definitely more economical & better, etc. She even asked me how much $$ I need 2 get outta my situaton, she'll try 2 help within her means! I dun tink I'm going spend the rest of my life wif her, dunno why, but juz the feeling inside me, so I declined tat big assistance. I said I'm oredi v grateful 4 her letting me stay in her apartment & her cooking 4 me, saving tat much $$, not 2 mention the warmth, I cant let her dump all her $$$ or do any similar things 2 help me! It's simply unfair 2 her, & wat if I'm a cheat & ran away wif her $$$?

[diesel]

Eh...Acidman, 我看你是疯了！老婆打算不要，居然要个大陆妹来干啥？我看你是kapala gila了！

我劝你最好不要抛弃你的太太。大陆妹很会说骗话，要哄你罢了。大陆妹什么都做的出，老兄，我看多了，你最好 想清楚。你有个太太，你知道吗？

你死了之后，只有太太会为你哭。大陆妹哪里会？！〖百年修得同船渡，千年修得共枕眠〗你要好好珍稀你的太太 ，大陆妹只可以玩玩就算了，不要把她成为你的第三者，来破坏你的婚姻呀，老兄！

你的；老婆会这样，你也有责任的呀！不要怪罪于你的太太！多花时间陪老婆，你要付出她才会体会到。你的老婆 脾气不好，你要体量，而不是在外面搞到破坏你们之间的夫妻感情嘛！

[84gunner]

Eh...Acidman, 我看你是疯了！老婆打算不要，居然要个大陆妹来干啥？我看你是kapala gila了！

我劝你最好不要抛弃你的太太。大陆妹很会说骗话，要哄你罢了。大陆妹什么都做的出，老兄，我看多了，你最好 想清楚。你有个太太，你知道吗？

你死了之后，只有太太会为你哭。大陆妹哪里会？！〖百年修得同船渡，千年修得共枕眠〗你要好好珍稀你的太太 ，大陆妹只可以玩玩就算了，不要把她成为你的第三者，来破坏你的婚姻呀，老兄！

你的；老婆会这样，你也有责任的呀！不要怪罪于你的太太！多花时间陪老婆，你要付出她才会体会到。你的老婆 脾气不好，你要体量，而不是在外面搞到破坏你们之间的夫妻感情嘛！

老兄，
一开始，我以为您是台湾人。不过，看下去，我想您应该是中国大陆出生的，然后在新加坡待了好一 段时间了吧？

其实，您说的，是蛮有道理、蛮有逻辑的。不知您对一般典型的新加坡女性有多了解，而我本人是对死新加坡女人 的，对新加坡女人失去所有信心！就像赌博一样，一般要赌，咱们是有信心赢，才会下注。而我，是连这局都不想 下赌注！我觉得赢的机会比输的机会少的多！

虽然我现在不在中国大陆，也不在新加坡，不过，我非常想念中国大陆，也正在安排回中国大陆工作、生活。我也 有长期在中国大陆的打算。

您所说的大陆妹的不好，我也同意，不过，我也想说，不是所有大陆妹都是这样的。就如我以上另外一篇文章描述 的，我在中国大陆遇过的好女生。中国大陆人口真的是太多了，所以那少数百分比的害群之马，算起来也算百万的 ！虽然在新加坡没有任何正式的数据，不过，按百分比的算法，搞不好还比大陆的坏女人高！而且，新加坡的法律 是保护女性的，男性很吃亏的，搞不好，会要您求生不得，求死不能（连自杀也是犯法的），让您终生遗憾！就好 像被一根棺材钉钉下一样！

棒打鸳鸯是很缺德的，所以我就不劝他该怎么做。毕竟，这是他们夫妻两的事，而且他们都是成年人了，自己应该 懂得怎么想、后果自负。

[just4fun]

As for the PRC gf, I wonder why so many members have such poor opinions of them as being unsuitable marriage material? If the gf is a Malaysian or of another nationality, would the advice be still the same? Why paint the PRC women in such a bad light? I am sure that there are good PRC women that would make wonderful wives but it seems that many people are prejudiced against them. Is this prejudice justified? Some might have bad experiences with PRC women, no doubt about that & we often read in the newspapers about the so-called "con PRC women" but to categorise ALL PRC women as such, IMHO is totally uncalled for.



Certainly agrees to you... Singaporeans whom never been to been in contact with local chinese in china tend to sterotype all PRC...irregardless of men or women... We like to make comments like PRC women are all out for money or PRC men are dirty or etc.... This is a mis-conception....

In my course of work in china... I have seen many young gals work like crazy earning a few hundreds RMB per month...Yet they are living happily with their Chinese bf whom are also making the same amount of money... Their love in my opinion is certainly much stronger than some of our Singaporean couples... They dun hv high expectations... or rather they expect that their future will be tough...but they handle it together...but in some singaporean couples...they could have been quarelling everyday with issues like "ur car so small...not comfy..." "MRT so cramped...let's take a cab" or etc...

Of cos...Those PRC MMs in singapore are different...or rather they are here for a purpose and their purpose is to make money...i mean the most money in the shortest possible time....So they might hv to resort to methods which we deemed "low"... Again...I have also seen some PRC MM in singapore...now back in China with their singaporean bf.... And their singaporean bf are making thousands of rmb per month...live like a local... But again...they are happy...At least in my opinion...

I strongly urge our bros to look at things (i mean towards the PRC MMs) at a different perspectives....

Lastly, there are some real nice PRC MMs in china / singapore whom are willing to 同甘共苦 with u....

My 0.02 rmb worth of tots....

[Frankiestine]

Bro acidman, you are cuntfusing sexual reliefs with love...my advice would be to look within your own marriage first and evaluate for yourselve...if you really feel that the difference btwn both of you are irreconciliable then by all means get a divorce and free each other from this burden..but dun jump from one shit into another just becos you think this prc gal is right for you...how do you determined that? becos she has been fulfilling your sexual needs? well just remember this "fools rush in where angels fear to thread"...i am sure you have read many horror stories of prc gals and their exploit...

[no_faith]

Now i m broke after my wife divorce me for another poor man, they live happily after wif my money..wat a bitch!!!!!

wat?! bro, sry if im too offensive.
not only she is bitch and the guy must be smiling inside him.

how can they try to take where they didnt help u to get?

really must pay such call maintence fee even there are no kids?

[_AXL_]

to the threadstarter

i dont have the answers to yr dilemma but i would like to point out something which u seemed to have missed out. if u didnt or u have posted somewhere here, then sorry wasting yr time.

1. u dont know whether u want to divorce yr wife or not, for whatever reasons, only u know. wife dont want to have sex with u, fyi, is grounds for divorce. just like yr adultery with a prc girl is too.

2. u want to keep the prc ger in sg and maybe eventually marry her but u never know what is going to happen right?

what u have failed to see is that both matters r mutually exclusive, or at least u should treat it as so. do u still want to divorce yr wife, due to the reasons in yr head? but the reasons should not include the prc ger. if the main reason is the prc ger, then all other reasons becomes merely yr excuses. dont lump these 2 issues together.

divorce if u want to, but doesnt mean u have to marry the prc ger, right? if u want to marry the prc ger, then u really have to divorce yr wife. but dont hide behind her bad temper or her refusal to have sex with u.

sorry if i sounded harsh, dont mean to. good luck.:)

to whom it may concern (cos too many bros liao)

i personally feel we shouldnt stereotype PRC women, m'sian women, viet or thai ladies. but think of it this way, PRC women who come to sg for what reason(s)? many or most come to make a quick buck (we've got so many examples right) but there r also some people who come here really to study (i have seen a few) and do not engage in fl/ktv/tn work. but we've seen the materialistic ones congregate here, cos they have every reason to be here to take advantage of the exchange rate, the higher standard of living and the ease of sg men being suckers for their lies. thus the unfair perception. so, those who do not want to stereotype PRC women here in sg, do u feel lucky???

i m sure there r many, many good ones back home... women who dont even consider using their bodies to make a living. then again, these women wouldnt have a reason to be here for us to form a different perception of prc or women of different nationalities.

it is the same with m'sian women... i have seen the best and the worst... the best i have seen, my friend's mistress took out all her life savings to help him when he was facing problems in his business. i have also seen m'sian women who r in relationships to get whatever they want and in my view, they r even greedier than all the prc women i have ever seen!!! again, what kind u get is again by luck, cos women can fake being nice until they r married!!!

as for sg women, enough said.:p lots of luck needed. those who have struck toto 1st price can try to see if u can strike again...

sorry if i m rambling and if i wasted yr time taken to read this post. cheers.

[84gunner]

wat?! bro, sry if im too offensive.
not only she is bitch and the guy must be smiling inside him.

how can they try to take where they didnt help u to get?

really must pay such call maintence fee even there are no kids?

Tat is the law in SG, there's nothing we can do about it. Unless u r the Prime Minister, then u can get the Legislation to remove this law! But, u r going 2 run a v high risk of yr votes dropping like bird shit in the next Elections.

From 1 point of view, u r giving $$ to her 2 enjoy 2gether wif another man, 2 feed the small white face at the other side. Indirectly, aren't u giving $$ to the other man & he gets 2 screw yr (ex) wife?

2 protect yrself, hide yr $$ elsewhere, such tat probably yr wife oso dunno. Put the assets under someone else's names (eg, yr parents). But then, in a marriage, there's supposed 2 be trust & confidence, & then doing all these, how much trust & confidence is there?

Life is SG is so ironical!

[Acidman]

?????????????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

You know how many years I have tolerated her temper? The relationship has been so one-sided, it's only till my feelings totally gone then she regret and starts to change. I feel being with her now has become out of responsiblity and no love. I do feel responsible for wasting her years, as well as mine. You know how many times we have sex in our 5 years of marriage. It's as rare as the blue moon.

[no_faith]

so bro, r u saying be wif her has becum a habit and respondsibility?

tis sound serious. u must really have clear peaceful mind to be absolutely sure abt such feelings?

u must be wif a person who can walk wif u to the end, not half the journey.

[Frankiestine]

I feel being with her now has become out of responsiblity and no love. I do feel responsible for wasting her years, as well as mine.

Why should you feel you have wasted her years....she didn't go into this marriage blindfolded, it is a two way thing...like wise shouldn't you blame her too for wasting all this years of yours?

[Castrol]

where you heard this from? the duel was at 天子驻跸的紫禁城之巅（太和殿屋顶）only, where got fight all the way to the throne? you so brave? emperor can behead you one, you know?

also, don't say the duel 'kelong' hor, it was life and death one, 叶孤城 lost because he 心中有垢，其剑必弱.


but, this is off-topic lah, paiseh.:p

sorry mr blowsnow, the version i watched in the late 70s show adam cheng dying on the throne. loke siew fung and far moon lau were all there. if you dont believe i can bring the vcd and we go watch it in the pub.

dont worry about off topic, in sbf there are thousands of threads about spore men wanting to divorce the wife for prc women. :D

[_AXL_]

sorry mr blowsnow, the version i watched in the late 70s show adam cheng dying on the throne. loke siew fung and far moon lau were all there. if you dont believe i can bring the vcd and we go watch it in the pub.

got vcds somemore!!! belonging to yr m'sian mistress right??? whole day at home nothing to do, so buy vcds for her to watch, in a bid to keep her at home lor...:rolleyes:

dont worry about off topic, in sbf there are thousands of threads about spore men wanting to divorce the wife for prc women.

hahaha... if the threadstarter sees this, think he also give up hope liao!!!:D

[Castrol]

got vcds somemore!!! belonging to yr m'sian mistress right??? whole day at home nothing to do, so buy vcds for her to watch, in a bid to keep her at home lor...

hahaha... if the threadstarter sees this, think he also give up hope liao!!!


well bro i am still looking for a ipoh mistress, got lobang must notify me hor? :D

[西门吹雪]

the version i watched in the late 70s show adam cheng dying on the throne. loke siew fung and far moon lau were all there.
walau eh, everytime they make a tv version they add in so much salt and vinegar. :rolleyes:

but your memory damn good lah, 30 years ago one still can remember so clearly! :D

[no_faith]

mr simon blowsnow cant even recall himself?:eek:
u r the handsome one or the one appeared in the stephan chow 008 movie??

[西门吹雪]

mr simon blowsnow cant even recall himself?
u r the handsome one or the one appeared in the stephan chow 008 movie??
so many tv and movie versions and each version got a different impersonator and a different 西门吹雪 wannabe and they add so much salt and vinegar in each version, how to catch so many?

i the bona fide, original, 如假包换 book version lah. :rolleyes: :D

[diesel]

You know how many years I have tolerated her temper? The relationship has been so one-sided, it's only till my feelings totally gone then she regret and starts to change. I feel being with her now has become out of responsiblity and no love. I do feel responsible for wasting her years, as well as mine. You know how many times we have sex in our 5 years of marriage. It's as rare as the blue moon.
夫妻之间还是要容忍啦... 我也不便多说了。老婆还是最好的！保重。

[西门吹雪]

老婆还是最好的！
got such phrase meh?

i did a google using the phrase and i got only this: 老婆还是别人的好! :D

[diesel]

got such phrase meh?
i did a google using the phrase and i got only this: 老婆还是别人的好! :D
有很多samster都有老婆的，惨了你! 你说：“老婆还是别人的好!”，你死了....
希望你这句话不会热火他们。

[excm69]

....I had been a faithful husband for 15 years and after my divorce, obtaining my single hood and freedom, i thought i would enjoy myself and became an international playboy, fucking WLs in every city i was sent to in the course of my work.

I avoided decent girls and married women for after my divorce, i no longer had confidence in a long term relationship and do not have the heart to cheat or hurt them, so i stuck to WLs.

And i got to know WLs' gameplay. I had fucked WLs so ugly that she would make a horse's face look like Ms Universe and i had fucked WLs that would make any Ms Universe pagent judge tell her to skip the preliminaries and just go straight to the final. A different WL at anytime, as and when i like.

Some may envy such lifestyle, but in truth and in time, there's always an emptiness and loneliness in me, for sex can only give momentary joy.

In my deepest sorrow, there is no woman i could trust to drown my sadness in her affectionate honest hugs. In my struggle to reach the top, there was no encouraging words from the soft whispers of a woman by my side to egg me on. In my triumphs over adversities, there is no woman who will cheer or celebrate it with me.

I lived alone by day amongst the masses of working folks, and hide in a fantasy world conjured up by WLs at nights, who will fake every smile and every tear drop to every fake orgasm and concern with a price.

My points are :- The forbidden fruit is always assumed to be sweet. But once tasted, it is just another fruit. Falling in love may seem easy, but living together will need patience, a lot of it, whichever woman it will be.....

Well said bro. :)

[Sboobs_lover]

Hi threadstarter, i tink a lot of bros hav good advise. In most cases bros will 劝合不劝离, only divorce if it is the only solution AND both agree tat it is torturin to be together. Pls discuss tis matter wis ur wife peacefully and sort out the problem between both of them. Maybe ur wife hav other thinkin in her mind. Marriage n Divorce involve not jus two parties. If both of u hav kid, i think u hav to be more careful.

Communication is very important in a relationship, tell her ur feelin n mayb things will get better. As u hav mention ur wife did change, n i tink u should do something to rekindle ur love with ur wife instead of thinkin the PRC girl. N if ur wife is not fat tell her she is not fat, n women sometimes need reminder tat they r not fat!!!

As for ur PRC gf, it is a separate issue......leavin ur wife does not mean accepting ur PRC gf as ur wife......

Anyway not all PRCs are bad......they r jus like actor n actress, all their negative news r magnifies by the media, n u will not hear the good examples. I still remember a story of stereotyping told by my teacher: If a BMW car caught fire along the roadside, everyone will tell their friends "I saw ANOTHER BMW caught fire" but if a japanese car caught fire, one will either say "i saw a car caught fire" or not even remember.

Nevertheless i still say choose ur wife (if possible) instead of the PRC. (Although i got PRC gf n getting married in a yr times). Marrying a PRC is not as easy as u tink.

[khaos]

You know how many years I have tolerated her temper? The relationship has been so one-sided, it's only till my feelings totally gone then she regret and starts to change. I feel being with her now has become out of responsiblity and no love. I do feel responsible for wasting her years, as well as mine. You know how many times we have sex in our 5 years of marriage. It's as rare as the blue moon.

If i was you, i will, in order:

1) pick my wife and try hard to rebound with her.
or
2) If im 100% sure that my gf is true to me, i will kick my wife aside and stick wif my gf
or
3) if im not sure if my gf is true to me, i will kick my gf aside and work hard to rebound with my wife again

Y dun u try to ask ur wife out for a date again? or start dating all over again? send her a bouquet of flowers personally to her office in front of all her collegues ? it shld kick start the engine and i feel that you are serious in igniting the marriage again. Her colleague will see and tell her that her husband so nice, so sweet. pyscho her here and there.

[西门吹雪]

look at my signature lah

look at your signature, ah?

you meant this line in your signature?

一失促成千古恨，回头已是百年身！

for you information, one of the characters in it is wrong.

just my 2 cents worth.

[84gunner]

look at your signature, ah?

you meant this line in your signature?

一失促成千古恨，回头已是百年身！

for you information, one of the characters in it is wrong.

just my 2 cents worth.

oops, typo. Thanks for pointing it out

[SioGan]

Some may envy such lifestyle, but in truth and in time, there's always an emptiness and loneliness in me, for sex can only give momentary joy.

In my deepest sorrow, there is no woman i could trust to drown my sadness in her affectionate honest hugs. In my struggle to reach the top, there was no encouraging words from the soft whispers of a woman by my side to egg me on. In my triumphs over adversities, there is no woman who will cheer or celebrate it with me.

I lived alone by day amongst the masses of working folks, and hide in a fantasy world conjured up by WLs at nights, who will fake every smile and every tear drop to every fake orgasm and concern with a price.

My points are :- The forbidden fruit is always assumed to be sweet. But once tasted, it is just another fruit. Falling in love may seem easy, but living together will need patience, a lot of it, whichever woman it will be.

Think back to the days when you first met your wife and the life you both had been thru together. It's more than sex in that relationship. Did she cared about you when you were sick? Did she shed tears when you were hurt? Did she stood by you when you were push around by dominating folks? Did she minded that you couldnt even take her to a posh restarant for an aniversary, but thru thick and thin was there beside you to comfort you as you reach to the top of your proffession?

Arent those good times and years good enough to overlook her current flaws as both compromised to reach for a better old age together?

Can your new PRC gf be better than your wife now that you are perhaps more matured and stable in your life which your wife had contributed in some way? How much of this emotional feel you have for the PRC is based upon love and not love as a veil to hide your desperate horny crush on her?

Take the test and perhaps you will find the answer....



Cheers!:) .

Damn! Bro, you are good. I'll up your reputation points tomorrow when I regain my power.

[Cummon]

oops, typo. Thanks for pointing it out

Hope you don't mind bro,another typo in your signature :)

俯手should be 俯首

[Chinapuss]

Search your heart and ponder on wat really makes u happi...izit de one u married or de one tat can onli satisfy ur lust?...there muz be a hidden reason as to y ur wife behaves tat way...try goin together for counsellin, maybe tat helps...I knoe of a guy tat married a prc gal...b4 marriage, they r so lovey dovey...but less than three months, de marriage became like a war-zone...sad though...

[L P P L]

This issue seems to be always coming up . Haiz, mistress always younger n ptrettier,wife how to compete. Bear in mind, wife most times u know for sure love u, but mistress, maybe love your money more ... san si san si ...

[littleme]

Forget about prc gals in SGP.. they are here for the money and your wife problem has nothing to do with the gal. You got to separate the two and handle each one differently.

Do not marry any prc gal who are in SGP. They are here for money and you will regret if you do. From personal experience (luckily I not marry yet but found many suspicious incidents. They can really lie without any remorse)

[Rof|maoxz]

Forget about PRC gals in SGP.. they are here for the money and your wife problem has nothing to do with the gal. You got to separate the two and handle each one differently.

Do not marry any PRC gal who are in SGP. They are here for money and you will regret if you do. From personal experience (luckily I not marry yet but found many suspicious incidents. They can really lie without any remorse)

What's the main diff btw your PRC gerfrd and SGP PRCs? Ain't they originated from PRC? Diff pen, diff strokes lah. :D

[Kyser Soze]

Try save the marriage first. It is a pity the years being together go down to the drain just like that.