What is it like after getting married for over 5 years? How to maintain the marriage?

[tittyhawk]

Bros,

Been disappearing away from the forum for quite some time now.

Well, cut the story short, as the subject suggests, how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore? And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

Comments pls.

TTH

[SDMM]

Bros,

Been disappearing away from the forum for quite some time now.

Well, cut the story short, as the subject suggests, how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore? And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

Comments pls.

TTH

i hate to break this to u bro. but a marriage is like a smooth cruise as opposed to white river rafting

excitment only happens during courtship

[verisio]

I'm not married but once read an article on pre-marriage and post-marriage.

One can be married and still love ur other half deeply but romance can be totally non-existent. This also sadly leads to the fact that men being horny creatures will look to elsewhere for that romance kick and sexual fulfilment, which is a sad thing because many of these men still love their women deeply.

In pre-marriage, there exist love and romance. And we men are such focused and goal orientated creatures that once we attain our goal - (aka getting her as gf or wife etc). We get slack on the hunting.

It basically means that love can always be there. It's pretty much like a lock-key combination which fits well with ur other half. But romance is like a fire which has to be constantly s+++ed n maintained or it'll die out.

Just my humble opinions. =)

[Torch_Man]

i hate to break this to u bro. but a marriage is like a smooth cruise as opposed to white river rafting

excitment only happens during courtship
quite agree, bro
marriage is veri monotonous 1, esp after babies, work, part-time studies.

personally i've bin thru all those (most of it) liao.
Life's abit borin. u gotta find ur own xcitiment n yet maintain ur image (status). sumhw try 2 find happiness (xcitiment) within ur family (it is more meaningful (fulfilling)

unless no other choice then
follow
Army external rule:
do anythin BUT DUN GET CAUGHT!!!!!!!

[Torch_Man]

i hate to break this to u bro. but a marriage is like a smooth cruise as opposed to white river rafting

excitment only happens during courtship
quite agree, bro
marriage is veri monotonous 1, esp after babies, work, part-time studies.

personally i've bin thru all those (most of it) liao.
Life's abit borin. u gotta find ur own xcitiment n yet maintain ur image (status). sumhw try 2 find happiness (xcitiment) within ur family (it is more meaningful (fulfilling)

unless no other choice then
follow
Army external rule:
do anythin BUT DUN GET CAUGHT!!!!!!!

[AdGuy]

Bros,

Been disappearing away from the forum for quite some time now.

Well, cut the story short, as the subject suggests, how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore? And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

Comments pls.

TTH

I'm not some guru, but the best advice i can think of would be to always keep in mind why she was THE ONE for you in the first place.

There is a tendency for women to go into "dullness" mode after marriage, esp after childbirth when she starts to devote her life to the baby. And if you are getting sick of your marriage because it's non sexciting, then maybe you got married for the wrong reasons in the first place. No finger pointing here, just giving my opinions in general.

Having said that, I think both party needs to make an effort to keep the flame burning.

LOVE IS NOT A FEELING, IT IS A DECISION. ONLY WHEN YOU DECIDE TO LOVE IN THE MOST DIFFICULT OF SITUATIONS, THEN DOES REAL LOVE EXIST.

[zhivago]

IMO,
5 yrs of marriage is not long but it ain't short either.

However, it all depends on how u wanna get on with ur marriage and wat u do determines on how ur marriage ends. It's either u decide to bring some new things to ur marriage and die a blissful husband or be as it is and died a bored-with-my-family husband.

Take a kettle of water for example.
Scenario 1:
When a relationship/marriage started after the water is boiled. The "feeling" tend to cool down after sometime, then u gotta reboil again. In this case, the "feeling" will get lesser and lesser. And the "kettle" breaks down faster.

Scenario 2:
Start the relationship/marriage when you start boiling the water. Then as time goes by, "feelings" starts to warm up eventually it heats up. When the water are at a certain temperature, you turn the fire smaller so that it keeps boiling and the "feeling" may last longer.

Like wat i always say: Love is like boiling water, u can either start boiling them first or keep it hot.

Above is how I felt for maintaining a relationship.

Cheers.

[YummyBear]

A pity I saw this thread a bit too late... Din go past the 5 yr mark....

[hansolo712]

Bros,

Been disappearing away from the forum for quite some time now.

Well, cut the story short, as the subject suggests, how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore? And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

Comments pls.

TTH
Try married 5 years and 2 kids..

Well, Singapore woman needs to attend some courses. I've tried everything, from talking about it, bringing her to our honeymoon location (burned 10k), etc etc,.. but the secciting only last for 1 or 2 days..

very sian

[Castrol]

Well, cut the story short, as the subject suggests, how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore?

my marriage should be about 5 years old now or maybe over 5 years. it is best to have a kid or two to make the marriage more meaningful. you will have to keep changing your routines to take care of the kid, and there wont be long periods of dullness because the urine and bood bood will come quite regularly, if you know what i mean...

where sex is concerned, well your wife is the only one you can bonk raw shiok shiok without fear. outside makan sure have to put condom right? best is dont bonk too much outside, otherwise go home see the wife also sian... :D

[DNAT]

my marriage should be about 5 years old now or maybe over 5 years.
see lah, about 5 years or after 5 years you also forgot liao .... ;)
if your wife know you say this you sure kena from her .. hehe

[Castrol]

see lah, about 5 years or after 5 years you also forgot liao .... ;)
if your wife know you say this you sure kena from her .. hehe

hahaha... its ok bro, most of the time i am usually half drunk and walking like an egyptian when i kena from her... :D

[Rof|maoxz]

Bros,

Been disappearing away from the forum for quite some time now.

Well, cut the story short, as the subject suggests, how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore? And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

Comments pls.

TTH

You into 5 years liao. Best of luck hor. :p

[ahpaul25]

Life Is Like A Box Of Chocolate, U Never Know What U Will Get Next! :d

[sammyboyfor]

And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

Comments pls.

TTH


Dump the old model and get a new wife.

[SDMM]

where sex is concerned, well your wife is the only one you can bonk raw shiok shiok without fear. outside makan sure have to put condom right? best is dont bonk too much outside, otherwise go home see the wife also sian... :D

now a days a lot of married woman also eat outside u know
so better choose a good woman rather than one based on looks alone
remember, there is one kind of woman for galfriend and another to be wife

[tittyhawk]

i hate to break this to u bro. but a marriage is like a smooth cruise as opposed to white river rafting

excitment only happens during courtship
This I totally agree, however, how to maintain that same kind of feeling during courtship days after courtship? Hiazzzz

[tittyhawk]

I'm not some guru,...........

LOVE IS NOT A FEELING, IT IS A DECISION. ONLY WHEN YOU DECIDE TO LOVE IN THE MOST DIFFICULT OF SITUATIONS, THEN DOES REAL LOVE EXIST.

Thanks bro for the statement and message.

I am touched by so many bros comments and experiences, at least, I know I am not alone.

[tittyhawk]

Dump the old model and get a new wife.

Hi Boss, nice of you popping in. How's life these days?

For me, you shld know since I started this topic, dead giveaway huh?

[tittyhawk]

You into 5 years liao. Best of luck hor. :p

Hi bro, long time no see liao. Coming to six years soon. Haizzz....

Nice signature .....

[tittyhawk]

IMO,
5 yrs of marriage is not long but it ain't short either.
......
......
Like wat i always say: Love is like boiling water, u can either start boiling them first or keep it hot.

Above is how I felt for maintaining a relationship.

Cheers.

Bro zhivago, thanks for the analogy. Message noted.

You are probably right in the sense that one of the tactics of handling and maintaining a relationship lies in how well you can make it last. By that, I mean keeping up the flames, irregardless of whether it is childbirth, or she gets fat, or the duration of marriage life.

[tittyhawk]

Try married 5 years and 2 kids..

Well, Singapore woman needs to attend some courses. I've tried everything, from talking about it, bringing her to our honeymoon location (burned 10k), etc etc,.. but the secciting only last for 1 or 2 days..

very sian
Me tried liao, minus bringing her to the honeymoon place.
No luck dude.

[tittyhawk]

quite agree, bro


unless no other choice then
follow
Army external rule:
do anythin BUT DUN GET CAUGHT!!!!!!!

I like the last part BEST!!

Here we come.....

[tittyhawk]

my marriage should be about 5 years old now or maybe over
.......
is dont bonk too much outside, otherwise go home see the wife also sian... :D

Haha, noted your point. Kids yes one. Bonk outside? Its not just the sex, its everything, the whole works. :)

[tittyhawk]

see lah, about 5 years or after 5 years you also forgot liao .... ;)
if your wife know you say this you sure kena from her .. hehe

Halow bro, how da u? It is coming to six years liao (if I am not wrong) :D

[MMM88]

Bros,

how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore? And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

TTH

yo bro....5 years into marriage w/o kids is still "bearable" lah....
its a whole new ball game when there r kid(s) ...priorities will be shifted towards kid(s)..n if both parents work...sex (frequencies/quality) would (may) suffer.....
Thus, to stay "afloat" n to rekindle (with CO), wat i did (beside HCs hor..hehehe);
a) take a short getaway trip (be it batam, bintan or KL) with ur CO once in a while (1 time/mth)...leave t kid(s) with ur in-laws (if tat is possible)...
b) go for a romantic dinner with ur CO
c) as for sex ...find out wat turns on ur CO...n "play" along tat line...may needs some exotic sex movies or sex toys..a longer foreplay ...hehehe

The idea is to set an enviornment(similiar to courting time) and conducive for SEX (similiar to courting time - 5 times a nite....hehehehe).......

hope tat helps...............cheers

[trew5]

hey bro, IMHO, whatever it is, eventually the excitement will die off, this is applicable to everything in life.

I do have my fair share of moment wanted some thrills .. go for it, play safe, and leave it behind after u are satisfied, no problemer, we are only human.

Ultimately, she is the one truly loves u, have kids with u, and always waiting for you at home.

I feel this is necessary evil to prevent bigger marriage problem due to emotional down turn... just my 2c

[blackeagle10]

Well marriage is boring and unexciting if you made it that way. Make the effort to make things work. Dinner dates , pub crawl, short sojurns to Bintan or Redang or Phuket to revive the good old days.


Remember when you are old & grey and infirm, your wife would be the only left to take care of you (together with a maid of u can afford one) , your kids will have their own lives.

So whilst u may cheong around, you still need to come home to reality eventually. All those SYTs outside are just temporary distractions unless you want to make them permanent & start paying alimony & alienating yr own kids...

[razrman]

where sex is concerned, well your wife is the only one you can bonk raw shiok shiok without fear. outside makan sure have to put condom right? best is dont bonk too much outside, otherwise go home see the wife also sian... :D

Have to agree, after 10 years marriage that's what I do. Maybe you can encourage your wife to buy sexier clothing, lingerie? Something like old car changing upholstery? Just my 2 cents.

[new_woman]

*sing this to her. maybe it will help to rekindle some sparks?*:o

Grow old with you
I wanna make you smile, whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All i want to do, is grow old with you

I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches
Build you a fire when the furnace brakes
Oh it could be so nice growing old with you

I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold
Need you, feed you, even let u hold the remote control

Let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had to much to drink

I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

[tittyhawk]

Well marriage is boring and unexciting if you made it that way. ....
So whilst u may cheong around, you still need to come home to reality eventually. All those SYTs outside are just temporary distractions unless you want to make them permanent & start paying alimony & alienating yr own kids...
Bro, thanks for the comments...reality bites...but the last statement very TRUE....

[tittyhawk]

*sing this to her. maybe it will help to rekindle some sparks?*:o
...................
I could be the man who grows old with you
I wanna grow old with you

Thanks bro new_woman...nice one!!

[new_woman]

:p errr.. sorry la.. me aint bro..me sister..

Thanks bro new_woman...nice one!!

[LED...]

Marriage is not all about happiness.......you cant expect to be always happy and fullfilled by one individual..... if you can feel lousy about your relationship so can your spouse..........no one says marriage is easy, imagine you need to vow and sign a legal document in order to be annouced as husband and wife.....

Ups and downs are really part of the game.........its you and your spouse that can make it happen till the end of time....... be contented, appreciate her more (esp after your FL session:D ) and try to do something together that both will enjoy....

But I guess most crucially, its you and your other part must conpromise to allow each other to have their own space to do the things that you like.... so you wont feel sooooo suffocating sometimes...........

Last but not least, you willingly chosen her as your "forever" partner.... you are suppose to uphold your decision unless otherwise as a man........:(

[Cummingliao]

This thread is so depressing. I thought this is a sex forum??? :confused:

Anyway, I don't think this is a good place to seek advice on your marital woes. Going to the counselling centre to seek professional help would do better.

[bbailey]

Reality is depressing wat...bo pian. birth, growth, sickness and death - SOP for anyone's life.

want more excitment ..?
1) trade in old model, sign a new contract and pay (of cos) to get a new one.
it's like going home with ur 1st Xbox360. shiok. wake up u think of it, during work also thinkg...come home rush to it.

(P.S : Rem, trade-in not cheap hor.)

2) dun see, dun hear and avoid all other models esp those latest ones. those hot from the oven,see liao, confirm want to grab. avoid at all costs.
Ignorance is bliss....

[tittyhawk]

Marriage is not all about happiness.......you cant expect to
............
Last but not least, you willingly chosen her as your "forever" partner.... you are suppose to uphold your decision unless otherwise as a man........:(
Guess reality really bites esp on the last statement...Thanks for the comments..

[Cummingliao]

Reality is depressing wat...bo pian. birth, growth, sickness and death - SOP for anyone's life.

want more excitment ..?
1) trade in old model, sign a new contract and pay (of cos) to get a new one.
it's like going home with ur 1st Xbox360. shiok. wake up u think of it, during work also thinkg...come home rush to it.

(P.S : Rem, trade-in not cheap hor.)

2) dun see, dun hear and avoid all other models esp those latest ones. those hot from the oven,see liao, confirm want to grab. avoid at all costs.
Ignorance is bliss....

You are into zen huh... :D

[tritonyeah666]

i think he got a point there dude.

[SassySammy]

bbailey is right. Ignorance is bliss. heh
Think it's impt that the couple have to keep themselves in good shape even after marriage, constantly improving themselves. Especially the wifey.. :p

Sharing and enjoying the company of each other in different circles of friends should help..?

Sorry if im wrong.. Only 20yo and there's alot to learn from bros n sis here. :D

[hit me baby]

hi brudders ...i know how it feels after getting married for a long time but as for me this is gonna be my 10th anniversary but i still look forward to make love to my wife everyday although i eat out quite often...maybe cos i feel more relaxed and she's more attentive towards my needs ...i wud make her talk dirty to me when we do it which makes me damn high ..maybe u guys should try it sometimes with ur partners...at times u can always call her in the day and tell her that u want to have a great time with her later at home to rise up the ocassion ...hahaha...it doesn't matter even if u have kids cos i have 4 sons for ur guide and it doesn't affect my sex life with my wife..
we still hv great intimate sex at times when our kids r asleep...kids r a compliment to our marriage cos they light up our lives at times ...anyway hope u guys can maintain a long and lasting marriage ...cheers bros

[HumpBackOak]

Bros,

Been disappearing away from the forum for quite some time now.

Well, cut the story short, as the subject suggests, how you guys, for those who are married, to maintain a marriage which has became a routine, dullness, and non sex exciting anymore? And what are the remedies (if any) or alternatives?

Comments pls.

TTH


hi,

firstly it depends how young are your children if any?

it gets dull because we are all creatures of habit

it takes both hands to clap, but if u are refering to sex part?

role play, do more stuff together u have never done before. experiment.

a couple needs to grow together, cos if one party gets left behind.

thats when the marriage breaks down.

[parkerpenn]

Bros, I am not in position to give any advice. I married just slightly more than 2 years, so still very "fresh", altough CO is cutting down on sex when compared to courting and just married time. This is expected.

I have not gone out to "eat" yet, I hope not, but I know for most of the men, most of us will "eat out" at least once if not more in our life time. Just make sure "eating out" is not a long term solution. Love your CO and your family, that is the minimal we men can do to be called human.

[tittyhawk]

Its nice to see so many bros' comments to the subject matter. Some of them really hits the heart, and some enlightening.

In any case, most of you would agree that the union of two different people to spend the rest of their lives, is not an easy job but it is blessed to be.

So, cherised our loved ones/partners in life.

I've got the message across.

[newasianhand]

don't even mention marriage.

my last gf was a chio bu but after a few years, totally lost the romance.

my present gf seems to be going down the same path after just a year.

getting worried if it's a trend.

what if my whole life ends up like this?!

respect my parents for sticking together..

[vesfreq]

Its nice to see so many bros' comments to the subject matter. Some of them really hits the heart, and some enlightening.

In any case, most of you would agree that the union of two different people to spend the rest of their lives, is not an easy job but it is blessed to be.

So, cherised our loved ones/partners in life.

I've got the message across.

And, finding the right match is not easy job too. ;)

I envy my friends' parents who can stick together through thick and thin. Reminds me that I have to be responsible once I settle down, though I know I can't at this time. :D

[giggz83]

well bro, being together happily ever after .. i remember my mom told me that she was on the verge on divorcing my dad several years back.

but it was bcos of me and my brothers .. that time we were young. that she decided not to.

and now .. she is a grandma .. and im a uncle liao!! hhaha..

having kids helps. but .. it is really hardwork from both sides that maintains a marriage or relationship.

[covenn]

bro TTH, she's ur wife, not gf. so the r/s escalates into kinship. probably in a way juz like kinship btw u n ur parents/siblings. i dun think u get excited at the prospect of meetin ur parents for dinner rite. ther's nothing wrong wif ur marriage i think. treasure n cherish the feelin of kinship wif ur wife.

[SilverSurfer88]

From my experience, I can vouch that marriage is not a smooth ride. I know, I failed the first time out. One lesson I can take from my failed marriage (lasted 3 years) is that both have to be on the same "wavelength" sexually. No matter how much you love her or she loves you, if you are different in terms of sexual preferences, you can expect everything to break down - SEX matters and keeps the marriage alive. In my case - I am sexually liberal (like to experiment), while she was prudish (dun even like to be licked!) so having sex became a bloody chore to me after a while. So I guess sexual compatibility is paramount in my view.
My present love is different and we are both finding more and more ways to spice things up. Looks like this new relationship will last - HOPEFULLY!
The only thing is married life after having kids - it may be difficult to adjust - so we need some bro's with a happy marriage and have kids to give valuable advice!

[cmelater]

well bro, being together happily ever after .. i remember my mom told me that she was on the verge on divorcing my dad several years back.

but it was bcos of me and my brothers .. that time we were young. that she decided not to.

and now .. she is a grandma .. and im a uncle liao!! hhaha..

having kids helps. but .. it is really hardwork from both sides that maintains a marriage or relationship.

Nearly ten years have past. Didn't expect to see this thread still stuck in the forum in the middle of time.

Kids do help. Hardwork is inevitable. Being single was still so good. :(

With marriage, comes so many duties and obligations... all of which are assumed and never explicit.

[heartkorr]

Becomes quite mundane... it becomes like a process, everyday going through the same process...sex with the same person over so many years becomes a bit mundane also...:(... but hey. still a good mother to my kids and wife, supporting me and doing her part for the family :D

[cmelater]

Sigh.... marriage is tough. What to do. If she care for the house and that there are kids, really must resign to life liao. :o

[Sword_74]

Need to accept that after married and have kids
i) wife is the queen,
ii) kids are the princes and princesses
iii)Sex is a bonus

Too much or too little lying kills marriage.

[freezetheDB]

When you have kids you become willing slaves to the kids. Good or bad is up to individual's view and goals in his life.

[4getful]

In olden times, marriage is good. But in this moderm times, marriage is never a wise choice. If a marriage can amicably dissolve, its a bonus. But when dissolving a marriage ended up in violent or even fatal (it is not hard to flip through the past record of all the fatal incident), its a tragedy. Men also went to jail after divorcing the wife. Last time, the women you married are pure and you are her only men. But nowadays a man married a woman can have already enjoying by various men. Hence you can see cheating n adultery are very common nowadays. So many marriage may not survive the 5 yrs, it can be a bonus if couple r still tgt after 5 yrs.

[Metzloff]

Married > 20 years already with kids and the whole deal. There are still some days I ask myself " WTF ?! Why am I putting up with all this CRAP from the wife and kids ?"

Only get married if you want kids. Otherwise, fuggedaboutit/