Elvis_Boy
12-02-2006, 01:37 AM
Hi all,
There are definately some responses to the "Tirak Problems" and must say that "The Unforgiven" has made some great contributions by clearly stating all the pitfalls by getting emotionally attached to a working girl. After all, the girls in commercial sex are doing it to make money. There is certainly no such thing as a "happy hooker"......although it is part of the male's fantasy to assume as such.
One of my colleagues introduced me to this forum this year and is certainly entertaining to read people's comments and i have to admit.......brings back some cheeky memories.
First of all, I'm a newbie at this forum and this is my first contribution. There are a lot of warnings in this forum about getting involved with a working girl and reasonably so. I have a very personal experience which I would like to share with others.
About 10 years ago, I stopped all my escapades to brothels, massage houses, etc after meeting this girl at a nightclub. I fell in love with her straight-away.....although it took her longer to do so with me. We enjoyed eachother's company and the relationship looked like it was going to be a serious one. Of course, I told her I used to frequent brothels, and she listened.........after 3 months......she told me her secret.
She couldn't keep a lie anymore.......she admited that she was still a working girl then.....and would still continue to do so.......and that i had to decide if I could handle this reality. My world went into turmoil. Questions poured into my mind which answers I could not provide. This was also something I couldn't just talk to my friends about.....after all, they had all met her and thought we were a great couple. If I thought I was alone before she entered my life.......I was certainly more alone now. As Alanis Morrisette's song goes....."isn't it ironic...don't you think...."
Karma? Maybe.......I had to confront my own demons. Cheongsters out there would've probably shifted the gear into reverse and flown out of the relationship. I decided to stay. Why? Well, after all........love is about loving someone for who they are and not what they do right? Perhaps......maybe I was testing myself......was I that superficial. Or maybe if this "opportunity" to love is closed....i would never find love again. If this all sound "pathetic" to you......remember.......this is my experience and yes.....i was lonely back then. I thought to myself....."working girls are human too.......they need affectionate like others.
.....She continued to work.......and I stayed faithful to her. Like she said to me...."Love don't pay the bills". My job couldn't support the 2 of us.......and she didn't have the skills to look for alternate employment. This went on for 3 long years. And I will be honest.......not one day went by without me thinking that I should end the relationship. It was very difficult to maintain an ideal relationship. Yes......we did love eachother.....and yes....we fought a lot too.....always about her work and my inability to cope it with. It was easy for her not to get personal with her work and that she was indifferent to what she had to do.......probably no different if she was to be a waitress in a restaurant. I never understood that.....and it always crushed me to think what she might be doing with clients. After all, i used to be one of those men.
Then.......my lucky break. A job promotion for me. We both sat down and i told her that i wanted her to stop for good. We could survive financially even if she did become a waitress in a restaurant. She reluctantly agreed. Why? Being a working girl was her main income......and she had been doing so for years and the money was good. But I couldn't take it anymore and felt I was going to go mad.......imagine a dialogue in your head everyday as to reasons to stay....reasons to go.....
We are still together now....its been 7 years that she has stopped working and happy with her current employment (and me too). She has also admitted that she's much happier leaving that industry. The emotional burden with being a working girl was getting too heavy to bear, and was not emotinally healthy. But all is good. We both have a child now and is one of the greatest thing to happen to us.
Good things did happen........but was not the easiest. There are a lot of things that she had said that I still remember......perhaps these can be words of advice from an ex-working girl.
"There is nothing personal with clients".......all business and its all about the money.
She also said that she will NEVER date a client....although she has been asked numerous times. And that is the same for all the other working girls she knew. After all, do you think a working girl wants to have a serious relationship with a man that engages in commerical sex? Why would they want to be emotionally attached to a man that frequent brothels? I guess if that relationship does become serious, can she trust him not to cheat on her?
Something to think about..........
.....And for others that may be in my situation as before.......good luck and hope things work out.
I am married to an ex-working girl for 10 years now and we have a beautiful child.
I used to frequent brothels often when I was a single man......you name it, I've done it. Then, I met this girl at a nightclub and fell in love with her straight-away. Then about 3 months into the relationship, she admited to me that she was a working girl. My whole world stopped revolving. I was devastated !!!! Anyway,
There are definately some responses to the "Tirak Problems" and must say that "The Unforgiven" has made some great contributions by clearly stating all the pitfalls by getting emotionally attached to a working girl. After all, the girls in commercial sex are doing it to make money. There is certainly no such thing as a "happy hooker"......although it is part of the male's fantasy to assume as such.
One of my colleagues introduced me to this forum this year and is certainly entertaining to read people's comments and i have to admit.......brings back some cheeky memories.
First of all, I'm a newbie at this forum and this is my first contribution. There are a lot of warnings in this forum about getting involved with a working girl and reasonably so. I have a very personal experience which I would like to share with others.
About 10 years ago, I stopped all my escapades to brothels, massage houses, etc after meeting this girl at a nightclub. I fell in love with her straight-away.....although it took her longer to do so with me. We enjoyed eachother's company and the relationship looked like it was going to be a serious one. Of course, I told her I used to frequent brothels, and she listened.........after 3 months......she told me her secret.
She couldn't keep a lie anymore.......she admited that she was still a working girl then.....and would still continue to do so.......and that i had to decide if I could handle this reality. My world went into turmoil. Questions poured into my mind which answers I could not provide. This was also something I couldn't just talk to my friends about.....after all, they had all met her and thought we were a great couple. If I thought I was alone before she entered my life.......I was certainly more alone now. As Alanis Morrisette's song goes....."isn't it ironic...don't you think...."
Karma? Maybe.......I had to confront my own demons. Cheongsters out there would've probably shifted the gear into reverse and flown out of the relationship. I decided to stay. Why? Well, after all........love is about loving someone for who they are and not what they do right? Perhaps......maybe I was testing myself......was I that superficial. Or maybe if this "opportunity" to love is closed....i would never find love again. If this all sound "pathetic" to you......remember.......this is my experience and yes.....i was lonely back then. I thought to myself....."working girls are human too.......they need affectionate like others.
.....She continued to work.......and I stayed faithful to her. Like she said to me...."Love don't pay the bills". My job couldn't support the 2 of us.......and she didn't have the skills to look for alternate employment. This went on for 3 long years. And I will be honest.......not one day went by without me thinking that I should end the relationship. It was very difficult to maintain an ideal relationship. Yes......we did love eachother.....and yes....we fought a lot too.....always about her work and my inability to cope it with. It was easy for her not to get personal with her work and that she was indifferent to what she had to do.......probably no different if she was to be a waitress in a restaurant. I never understood that.....and it always crushed me to think what she might be doing with clients. After all, i used to be one of those men.
Then.......my lucky break. A job promotion for me. We both sat down and i told her that i wanted her to stop for good. We could survive financially even if she did become a waitress in a restaurant. She reluctantly agreed. Why? Being a working girl was her main income......and she had been doing so for years and the money was good. But I couldn't take it anymore and felt I was going to go mad.......imagine a dialogue in your head everyday as to reasons to stay....reasons to go.....
We are still together now....its been 7 years that she has stopped working and happy with her current employment (and me too). She has also admitted that she's much happier leaving that industry. The emotional burden with being a working girl was getting too heavy to bear, and was not emotinally healthy. But all is good. We both have a child now and is one of the greatest thing to happen to us.
Good things did happen........but was not the easiest. There are a lot of things that she had said that I still remember......perhaps these can be words of advice from an ex-working girl.
"There is nothing personal with clients".......all business and its all about the money.
She also said that she will NEVER date a client....although she has been asked numerous times. And that is the same for all the other working girls she knew. After all, do you think a working girl wants to have a serious relationship with a man that engages in commerical sex? Why would they want to be emotionally attached to a man that frequent brothels? I guess if that relationship does become serious, can she trust him not to cheat on her?
Something to think about..........
.....And for others that may be in my situation as before.......good luck and hope things work out.
I am married to an ex-working girl for 10 years now and we have a beautiful child.
I used to frequent brothels often when I was a single man......you name it, I've done it. Then, I met this girl at a nightclub and fell in love with her straight-away. Then about 3 months into the relationship, she admited to me that she was a working girl. My whole world stopped revolving. I was devastated !!!! Anyway,