The Monger Joker..collection of Mongering Jokes..

[Soi6]

Hey all..

I hope this thread will catch on. Its meant to be part of Field reports but written in a playful or funny way.
Whether we are newbies or seasoned mongers we all have a funny story in our travels.
I just hope we can avoid racist or religious jokes..that is ..tell a joke without referring to nationality nor religion. Also..I hope the thread will be of a light hearted entertainment to all without mocking or belittling the poster.
Jokes are International..has no boundaries..so this thread is also not limited to any one country..
Cheers..and lets all have a laugh..:D

[Soi6]

I shall start of with a joke from yesterday..

I was in a gogo bar and this guy just came in. He was drunk ..
He started to play with a particular gogo girl and it was soon clear that they knew each other..cos he had barfined her the before..
Soon..in his drunken stupor..he was trying to pull the panties off the girl..in a playful manner..
Horryfying still..he pulled his own pants down..and started swinging his dick around showing the girl..
He kept saying..'remember this?..remember this?..
Next thing the girl ..also a bit tipsy..turned and shouted out loud...
'How the fuck I can remember? I already had 2000 dicks up my pussy ! '
Man sobered up real quick..quietened..he must have been damned embarassed cos everybody else nearby were laughing their heads off at him !:D

[Soi6]

Another joke..

A guy I met in Batam was always bragging about how big his dick was.. he always said..'The girls always say I am big big !'. He had a wide grin on his face. He also claimed he had to bring his own condoms all time. A certain Durex coloured size.
So I asked him..what Size do you wear?
He said...' Condom have Size meh?'..' It must be the largest Size cos I always buy same box!'...he declared.
So he confidently pulled out the box condoms he had with him and I duly inspected it.
I turned to his and told him..'Knn..you Size 49..!':D

[Hurricane88]

Support new thread...:)

[Soi6]

A wierd fantasy..

We all know everybody has a certain sex fantasy..whether its to do a 3somes or more..having that PSE..toys..using costumes..BDSM..Golden Shower...whatever.

I know of a certain Farang in Thailand who has a very wierd thing goin on..he does not have sex with the girl.
Okok..let me explain.
This old chap barfines a girl..brings her to his room.
He then hides in the closet..tells the girl to lock the closet from outside..and wants the girl to shout profanities at him from outside while he wimpers and asks for forgiveness..and masturbates himself.
He told the girl that whatever happens do not open the closet until he asked her to unlock..
Well the girl did as she was told...and he can be heard wimpering away..
After a few minutes..the girl told herself...this is too wierd...so she took her bag and duly left the room..
A few more minutes passed by before he realised the girl was no more there..but alas..he was locked inside the closet !
So rumour was it he spent the whole night there till the next day when the housekeeping came in to clean the room !:D

[Soi6]

Support new thread...:)

Thank you..Thank you boss Mod !:)

[cloudprince]

Haha. Laughed so hard at the closet one. Thanks bro. Apologies for not being able to up as I cant.

[Soi6]

Haha. Laughed so hard at the closet one. Thanks bro. Apologies for not being able to up as I cant.

No worries ! Best you could do is share a joke of your own!:)

[Soi6]

A Seasoned WL..

I told this joke in another thread..but will rehash it here..

Man ask WL: You have boyfriend ?

WL replies : Why you ask? You want boom boom me..or my boyfriend?

:p

[cloudprince]

No worries ! Best you could do is share a joke of your own!:)

I do have one. Not in Thailand though. I went KL with my friends. So amongst us was a virgin chiongster. Went over to a spa and got him to pick a girl. So he came out after 20 mins and told us his story. The girl he got was a PRC, about a size C (enhanced). He told us that when she was giving him the hot and cold blowjob, he couldn't take it and almost came. So he asked her to stop and wanted to put on the condom. When she placed it on his dick, he felt his penis erupting and there goes his load. Ended up chatting with her for the rest of th duration. Haha. We laughed at him for the whole trip. Felt a bit bad making fun of him but it was hilarious.

[Soi6]

Not so funny joke..but due to WL poor English..

Man ask WL : Where you come from ?

WL replies : 'My papa and my mama !'.with a big smile..:):rolleyes:

[Soi6]

I do have one. Not in Thailand though. I went KL with my friends. So amongst us was a virgin chiongster. Went over to a spa and got him to pick a girl. So he came out after 20 mins and told us his story. The girl he got was a PRC, about a size C (enhanced). He told us that when she was giving him the hot and cold blowjob, he couldn't take it and almost came. So he asked her to stop and wanted to put on the condom. When she placed it on his dick, he felt his penis erupting and there goes his load. Ended up chatting with her for the rest of th duration. Haha. We laughed at him for the whole trip. Felt a bit bad making fun of him but it was hilarious.

Haha..
This one reminds me of a decent young guy I met in Soi 6.
He told me he want try a 3some..but was shy to ask the ladies...so I helped him and soon he was upstairs with 2 ladies for Short time.
He was down in less than 5 mins..shaking his head..
I asked him..if everything was ok..was there anything wrong..and why he came down so fast!
He said..its was a waste of his money...and looked really dejected.
So he explained..once upstairs the 2 girls pushed him on the bed and took off his pants.. 1 girl was kissing him and playing w his nipples..the other girl started doing a BJ on him..
2 MINS...thats all it took before he came ! No wonder he was dissappointed..but for the girls it was 2 mins quick money !!;)

[Soi6]

Playing with WLs...

A customer goes in a Soi 6 Pattaya bar.
He proclaims !.. ' I will give 500 baht to the girl who has the nicest boobs !
Hearing the possibility of easy money..all the girls lined up willingly and showed their breasts!
He proclaims again ! ' I cant see very well..you girls need to come see me 1 by 1 !.
So he got 15 mins of fun as he fondled each girls breasts..before declaring the winner !
Everybody in the bar gave out a loud cheer to the winner..and she happily showed herself again to everyone there !
Then another girl muttered..I want win too! Give money for lady with nicest ass !
Another customer shouted..' Hey !!..I will put up the 500 baht !'.
Thumbs up to the 1st customer cos within a fee minutes he got all the girls naked running around in the bar !;)

[Soi6]

Funny Sounding Thai Words..Lets Learn Thai the Falang way !

1.Bangkok - Bang & Cock..umm..
2. Porn - Thai lady name..umm umm..
3. MEN- Thai word for smelly
4. Car Bomb - or Kap Phom..means affirmative.
5. FAN - BF or Gf
6. Tam Eye - literally means why..
7. DAM- Black
8. Bomb Rack Coon - I love you..
9. My Lucy - I dont know
10. Marching Fan - Toothpick

Get it ? Lesson 2 next time..:confused

Disclaimer..some of the terms taken from Mike Baird's funny cartoons..:)

[Soi6]

Soi 6 Pattaya Girls welcoming Asians..

Girl : Anantha dosho !!
Asian man : No no no...Me Korea !

Another time ....

Girl : Nie Houu !!
Asian Man : No No No..Me Japan !

Yet Another Time..

Girl : Haseyo !!
Asian Man : No no no..ME China !

Finally...

Exasperated Girl : Hey you..Blue Shirt !!!:D

[Soi6]

Sometimes WLs get fed up with questions by potential customers..

this is an example...

Man : How many babies you have ?

WL : Why you want to know ? You want take care my babies lor ?

1-0 WL.:rolleyes:

[Soi6]

Newbie Mistake along Walking Street Pattaya..

Newbie sees a Poster girl advertising...FREE BLOW JOB !
'Wow'...free BJ..lets go..lets go !!.

I stopped him in his tracks...saying ....that Blow Job is a drink ! :p

For the uninitiated..A Blow Job shot drink is normally Irish Cream mixed w liquer..many times just some milk instead..and the proper way to drink it is not to use hands..but to grab the shot glass with your mouth and drink the contents..and put back the shot glass on the table wothout spilling a drop.:)

[sa101666]

Bump for effort. No power to up you but it's funny. Keep it up.

[Soi6]

Buy Lady Drink trick..Thai lady talk fast trick.

Man goes in a bar..

WL : Hello..me Aoy...what you name ?
Man : I am Andy.
WL : Andy..whatyoubuymedrink ?
Man : Heineken.
WL : Giggles and say....Thank you kaaaaa.....

Now you know why you get padded bins?:cool:

[Treemon99]

Funny Sounding Thai Words..Lets Learn Thai the Falang way !

1.Bangkok - Bang & Cock..umm..
2. Porn - Thai lady name..umm umm..
3. MEN- Thai word for smelly
4. Car Bomb - or Kap Phom..means affirmative.
5. FAN - BF or Gf
6. Tam Eye - literally means why..
7. DAM- Black
8. Bomb Rack Coon - I love you..
9. My Lucy - I dont know
10. Marching Fan - Toothpick

Get it ? Lesson 2 next time..:confused

Disclaimer..some of the terms taken from Mike Baird's funny cartoons..:)

This is damn funny bro ! Thumbs up, reminds me of an ocassion many years ago when I couldnt stop laughing at my ang moh boss thai conversation with an AGG girl :p

[Soi6]

This is damn funny bro ! Thumbs up, reminds me of an ocassion many years ago when I couldnt stop laughing at my ang moh boss thai conversation with an AGG girl :p

Great..here is Lesson 2..

11. Pie - Go
12. Now- Cold
13. Torque - Table
14. Rot - Vehicle
15. Deck - girl or boy
16. Lung - Uncle
17. Turk - Building
18. Pit - Close
19. Park - Mouth
:eek:

[gsk721g]

A lad came across a genie and demanded 3 wishes.
Genie warned lad that he may wished for more than he bargained for.
Lad refused to listen....so for the 1st wish lad say "wa si mi lan jiao pon ai"
So the penises of all living creatures got attached on his body.
In frustration, lad scream "wa si mi lan jiao pon mai".
So now all the penises attached to him, including his own, disappeared.
Feeling meek and helpless, lad quietly whispered his 3rd wish "i want my original lan jiao back"....

[Soi6]

A lad came across a genie and demanded 3 wishes.
Genie warned lad that he may wished for more than he bargained for.
Lad refused to listen....so for the 1st wish lad say "wa si mi lan jiao pon ai"
So the penises of all living creatures got attached on his body.
In frustration, lad scream "wa si mi lan jiao pon mai".
So now all the penises attached to him, including his own, disappeared.
Feeling meek and helpless, lad quietly whispered his 3rd wish "i want my original lan jiao back"....

Good good..I have a few one liners...

Why did Mexicans invent tequila ?
So ugly people have a chance to have sex. .

what does Life and Beer have in common ?
Both need to chill for best results..:)

[newyorker88]

My friend brought his father in law and friends for some KTV session, since he is a regular cheongster at that KTV, the manager thought he wanted gals as well, as he use to get gals from the KTV. However, since this time he is with his in laws, he just want to have some normal singing.

The manager got his regular gal to come, and the gal first thing she did was to go up to him and kiss him, started off their usual play... All in front of his father in law... His face really red from embarrassment.

[Soi6]

My friend brought his father in law and friends for some KTV session, since he is a regular cheongster at that KTV, the manager thought he wanted gals as well, as he use to get gals from the KTV. However, since this time he is with his in laws, he just want to have some normal singing.

The manager got his regular gal to come, and the gal first thing she did was to go up to him and kiss him, started off their usual play... All in front of his father in law... His face really red from embarrassment.

Yes sir..being caught red handed can be serious !

Reminds me of a joke that goes like this..

Its Jimmie's wedding anniversary so his wife wanted to surprise him so she brought him to a Karaoke club.
At the door :-
Security Guy : Hi Jimmie..hows it been ?
Wife asking Jimmie : Hey..how he know you ?
Jimmie : Ohh...we same bowling team...

At the Karaoke room : -
Waiter : Hi there Jim..Heineken for you ?
Wife asking Jimmie : Uhh..how he know you?
Jimmie : Erhh..he my friend's brother...

Mamasan walks in :-
Mamasan : How r you Jimmie..same Lady ?

At this point the wife dragged Jiimmie out of the Karaoke bar and into a taxi..
Taxi driver : Hey Jimmie..you picked an ugly one this time..same Hotel ?

Today is also Jimmie's death anniversary.:D