remorseful
11-08-2014, 02:21 AM
Hi bros, I have been lurking around in this forum for a long time already, but with another nickname. Posting with another username to hide my identity. This is my first time posting, and my main motive is to share my experience. Many times, people share about how they have enjoyed the processes with FL etc, by giving FR. I would like to try giving you a different perspective.
I enjoy a loving relationship with my gf, but maybe not that sexually active because she is busy working. To satisfy my sexual desires, I usually lurk around in this forum and have sex with my right hand. I usually only look at the Pictures/Videos sharing thread, but there was one day when I started to look into those Massage and FL threads. My curiosity got aroused and I have been wanting to try doing it with someone else other than my gf.
Recently, I was on a working trip to China. That was when I got hooked onto using Wechat to find ladies who provide service. I have to admit, Wechat is very potent because I really managed to find a pretty FL.
There was this one night when I really felt the urge to release my desires, and also to try out having fun with someone other than my gf. So we arranged to meet up... I went over to her hotel. We started chatting, and somehow could hit it off quite well. After confirming the price, we began our business. When I was done, I wanted to leave, but perhaps all that chatting made her a bit fond of me or sth? She made me do it with her a second time.
I was well capped with protection both rounds. (used 2 pcs of condoms of course) But it didn't occur to me what was gonna hit me real hard later.
1. STDs.
Even though I have been relatively well educated in my field of expertise (I have been through University too). I was not well educated in this area. It was only after the experience that I started checking online on how STDs may have been spread even if I was well protected by a condom. I swear I thought that I would be very safe if I was well protected. And I panicked.
2. What happens if I really contracted STD?
The first thought that really bothered me was, what if I passed it to my gf? All the happiest moments we have shared immediately flashed past the back of my head. And I started wondering, why the fuck had I done this? If I really contracted STD and passed it on to her, im fucking her life up, and fucking myself up too. Each time I look at her now, my mind is filled with guilt. and I wonder why I still deserve her. For that one hour of pleasure, I received eternal agony in return. I swear I feel upset every single moment now.
3. How am I going to face my family?
Growing up in a family full of love for each other, I would feel really embarrassed or disgraced of myself if I had contracted STDs, because I allowed myself to engage in promiscuous sex activities. They have always taught me not to fool around etc, and this time I have failed myself, and failed them utterly.
I enjoy a loving relationship with my gf, but maybe not that sexually active because she is busy working. To satisfy my sexual desires, I usually lurk around in this forum and have sex with my right hand. I usually only look at the Pictures/Videos sharing thread, but there was one day when I started to look into those Massage and FL threads. My curiosity got aroused and I have been wanting to try doing it with someone else other than my gf.
Recently, I was on a working trip to China. That was when I got hooked onto using Wechat to find ladies who provide service. I have to admit, Wechat is very potent because I really managed to find a pretty FL.
There was this one night when I really felt the urge to release my desires, and also to try out having fun with someone other than my gf. So we arranged to meet up... I went over to her hotel. We started chatting, and somehow could hit it off quite well. After confirming the price, we began our business. When I was done, I wanted to leave, but perhaps all that chatting made her a bit fond of me or sth? She made me do it with her a second time.
I was well capped with protection both rounds. (used 2 pcs of condoms of course) But it didn't occur to me what was gonna hit me real hard later.
1. STDs.
Even though I have been relatively well educated in my field of expertise (I have been through University too). I was not well educated in this area. It was only after the experience that I started checking online on how STDs may have been spread even if I was well protected by a condom. I swear I thought that I would be very safe if I was well protected. And I panicked.
2. What happens if I really contracted STD?
The first thought that really bothered me was, what if I passed it to my gf? All the happiest moments we have shared immediately flashed past the back of my head. And I started wondering, why the fuck had I done this? If I really contracted STD and passed it on to her, im fucking her life up, and fucking myself up too. Each time I look at her now, my mind is filled with guilt. and I wonder why I still deserve her. For that one hour of pleasure, I received eternal agony in return. I swear I feel upset every single moment now.
3. How am I going to face my family?
Growing up in a family full of love for each other, I would feel really embarrassed or disgraced of myself if I had contracted STDs, because I allowed myself to engage in promiscuous sex activities. They have always taught me not to fool around etc, and this time I have failed myself, and failed them utterly.